(Incorrect) Movie synopses, based entirely off of the title.

[UnKillFill]

Provide a(n incorrect) synopsis of a movie, based entirely off of its title. The more ridiculous, yet still plausible, the better.
I'll start:

Cool Hand Luke:
This movie is sometimes also known as Star Wars Episode 5.5, because it takes place in between Empire and Jedi. It's basically an hour and a half of Luke Skywalker (who just had his real hand chopped off by Vader) realizing how "cool" his new robot hand is, as he uses it to do various things that his original hand couldn't have done. There's actually an entire montage of him learning sign language, and flipping various people off who all deserved it. At one point, Han says, "Wow, that's a cool hand, Luke."
It's a decent movie, and you should check it out if you never saw it before.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

The Ring

A mysterious grime ring appears at the base of the bathtub drain. Overnight it spreads until the entire household is caught in its moldy grasp. One brave housewife must escape the plagued house to make a dash to the local supermarket (prob Tesco in the UK, Costco in America and Japan) to find Liquid Plumber and tub spray. When she returns she must do combat with Tub Girl and her massive liquid shit.

 

[The Cunting Death]

Blue is the Warmest Color

Everytime the protagonists touch blue, it gets hot as fuck

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Brokeback Mountain:

A guy goes hiking and breaks his back, stranded on a mountain. Go watch it with your grandparents.

 

[Megatardingo]

American History X:

A professor of American history keeps trying to rekindle the love his ex felt for him with mixed results so he turns to his students for help. Comedy.

 

[modern horrors]

Die Hard

Incel learns he has mere days to live. In an effort to lose his virginity, he hires a prostitute but due to a lifetime of chronic masturbation, he can't get it up. After swallowing a huge amount of gas station boner pills, he accidentally kills the prostitute with his two inches of blue steel.
With the police on his tail, will our protagonist succeed in losing his virginity or will he... die hard?

 

[Not Jewish Wario]

No Country for Old Men

Everyone over the age of 65 are being hunted down and killed. A group of old men go into hiding and try to protect themselves from the ongoing genocide.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

The Ring

A mysterious grime ring appears at the base of the bathtub drain. Overnight it spreads until the entire household is caught in its moldy grasp. One brave housewife must escape the plagued house to make a dash to the local supermarket (prob Tesco in the UK, Costco in America and Japan) to find Liquid Plumber and tub spray. When she returns she must do combat with Tub Girl and her massive liquid shit.

Would the Lord of the Rings be the Army of Darkness Style sequel where said Housewife becomes a wisecracking action hero and Fight's Tub Girls Father?

 

[Jewthulhu]

Soylent Green:

It's just an ad for soylents new green colored sludgedrink

 

[hotcheetospuffs]

28 Days Later:

The sequel to Sandra Bullock's quirky rehab comedy 28 Days, the second installment sees her through relapse and recovery with a rag-tag group of crazy alcoholics and plenty of sober shenanigans.

 

[Buttz McSmellington]

From Russia with Love

A Redditor orders a mail-order bride from Russia. When the crate arrives, a muscular Russian dude breaks out of it and starts bullying him for being on Reddit all the time. By the end of the film, the Russian man has bullied the Redditor to get a job and finally get off the Internet to settle down and have a nuclear family.

 

[Beak Thing]

Gone With The Wind:

The tragic story of the 1974 Super Outbreak and its aftermath as told by survivors in Guin, Alabama and Xenia, Ohio. Directed by Ken Burns and featuring on-screen interviews with meteorologists Ted Fujita and Thomas Grazulis, this documentary conveys the horror and power of the tornado in its rawest form.

 

[The Last Stand]

The Women:

A group of women get together to cause havoc as a collective sex to overthrow male capitalism.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

The Silence of the Lambs

Documentary on American culture in the wake of the murder of George Floyd at the hands of a racist police unit. Filmmaker Michael Moore presents a stunning and brazen exposé on the problematic aspects of American society that drive white Americans to become apathetic, remain silent, and turn a blind-eye to the epidemic of police violence that disproportionately effects Black Americans.

 

[Megatardingo]

Lucky Number Slevin

A young dyslexic man makes a fortune by accident because of his disability, he hangs on his laurels and goes along with the praise but soon the lie grows out of control as more coincidences keep making him be right again and again. Watch as he navigates the financial sector with all the grace of Mr Magoo.

 

[CptnSnshn]

Gayniggers from Outer Space:

A heartwrenching look at homophobia in the black community using the backdrop of the space race to provide social commentary.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

The Shining

The sun expands over a small town, burning and blinding the entire populace. A bunch of nuns and priests must launch themselves into the sun to stop it.

Perfect Blue

A penniless artist searches for the best grade of perfect blue paint to use to paint his masterpiece.

The Passion of Joan of Arc

Young Joan receives a vision from God. She then proceeds to fuck her way across the French countryside, taking many lovers. Eventually she seduces a pyromaniac, who sets her aflame in the middle of coitus.

 

[Shidoen]

One Piece: Strong World
Sexy women in one piece swimsuits beat the shit out of each other to win a belt that says "strongest".

 

[MadDisaster]

The Godfather

A wholesome story of a man guiding the children under his care into a life of service, and religious devotion.

 

[UnKillFill]

Dances With Wolves:
Horror/Comedy; The big school Fall dance is coming up, but somehow it seems that every single girl in the school is actually a werewolf. Our hero (who is not a werewolf) must literally figure out how to dance with wolves, as the dance takes place on a full moon. He does not survive the movie.

Scent of a Woman:
As a kid in Scranton Pennsylvania, young Joseph is obsessed with smelling females of all ages. He especially enjoys sniffing their hair. It's seen as a little weird to people around him, but he grows up to become a corrupt AF senator, and eventually also a senile president of the United States. Even as a president, he still enjoys sniffing the hair of full grown women and little girls alike. This movie should probably be banned, because nothing like it could *ever* happen in real life.