Money Internet detective proves Chris bought the PS4 himself

[Lesbian Sleepover]

Why did he buy the extra controller, though?

For Barb to play with him? Or does he think he needs an extra controller just in case he wants to hold another Lesbian Sleepover Party?

For the JIZLAMIC CONTENT

 

[nad7155]

Password: Sonichu

Right?

Don't forget to add some variation of his birthday/phone number.

 

[Karen Riley]

Before you go off on one about how dishonest it was of the Fingerhut employee to report Chris' details, you have to realise that it's incredibly unlikely that a person who works there just happens to know of CWC and is also willing to risk their job to expose him as a liar. It's incredibly unlikely and is quite clearly only a lie intended to be passable enough to fool Chris.

I can imagine Chris told a close friend behind the scenes that he lied about the PS4 and how he got it, and because it's quite a big revealing, instead of compromising that person's identity they made up this story to fool Chris alone. It's no different to when he first sent Jackie his TomGirl photographs and they used the Playstation Servers hacking story as a reason why the photographs were leaked, it was too big a story to wait for months before they could expose it just like this one but they couldn't lose touch with Chris just yet.

 

[MediExcalibur2012]

Not sure if this is that important, but a girl on Chris's facebook has proved that Chris is the one who bought the PS4
View attachment 77050

So what's new?

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

So has he bought the thing outright because looking at Fingerhuts website he could get it for $35 a month, I wonder if that's what he's up to?

 

[Subconcious Offense]

Before you go off on one about how dishonest it was of the Fingerhut employee to report Chris' details, you have to realise that it's incredibly unlikely that a person who works there just happens to know of CWC and is also willing to risk their job to expose him as a liar. It's incredibly unlikely and is quite clearly only a lie intended to be passable enough to fool Chris.

I can imagine Chris told a close friend behind the scenes that he lied about the PS4 and how he got it, and because it's quite a big revealing, instead of compromising that person's identity they made up this story to fool Chris alone. It's no different to when he first sent Jackie his TomGirl photographs and they used the Playstation Servers hacking story as a reason why the photographs were leaked, it was too big a story to wait for months before they could expose it just like this one but they couldn't lose touch with Chris just yet.

I think it can even be as simple as someone having access to his email this entire time by guessing the password. He clearly had no intention of telling anybody the truth about the PeeAssFall if he even lied to you in private.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

Oh man. I was just wondering the other day if Chris still ordered from overpriced fingerhut.

 

[Broseph Stalin]

Why would Chris get himself a Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 bundle, though? Doesn't seem like his kind of game.

I always had this theory that Chris doesn't really "play" some games, but rather tries to shoehorn his creations into some sort of head fantasy while he plays (i.e Sonichu, Chris, and friends end up in the Call of Duty universe somehow and try to save the day or some kind of retarded crap). If he finds himself unable to do so, he'll abandon the game.

 

[Professor Iris]

Fingerhut? More like fingerbutts, am I right?

*audience laughs*

...yeah I got nuthin'.

 

[Son of Big Boss]

 

[CWCissey]

Fingerhut? More like fingerbutts, am I right?

*audience laughs*

...yeah I got nuthin'.

I wonder if Chris came across Fingerhut while looking up porn...

 

[4Macie]

I like how people instantly believe Kim's story about an employee giving her information and believe that someone was willing to lose their job and get into trouble to oust Chris as a liar.

Instead of, you know, remembering that Chris has given his email password to "his manager and a close friend" so that they could "background check" his potential gal-pals, baby-mommas, sperm-wanters, and slumber party attendies.

Not only that, but people hacking Chris's email is a thing that's happened only thousands of times.

This is, as some people have mentioned, just a backstory so that Kim doesn't lose her hold on Chris. Either she, or a friend of hers, has full access to Chris's email and they probably noticed the "your order has been shipped" email that he received. So instead of saying, "Hey, I was looking through your email and noticed ______" and thus losing access to the email, they went with the "Someone from the store you bought the PS4 from told me this" knowing that Chris is too lazy to try and find out if the store actually did tell someone and just accept that they have the facts right and so what they said happened must have happened.

I love how the name of the fake gal-pal was just a porn stars name from a porn he happens to watch. Like, he could have made up ANY name..but that's the one he came up with. What was he doing? Looking around and just saw the porn on the floor? Was he watching it before hand and was like "Oh yeah...that's a good name". Or is this a porn star that he actively searches for and likes so he knows her name off the top of his head?

 

[Asandy31]

I can just picture Chris bragging to Scarlet Johanson a 15 year old boy about how he pulled off the greatest Tomgirl prank in history. I bet that free the nip video/international women's day was blackmail to not spill the beans! Instead of spilling them they fell out of Chris' Pristine rectum at his guidance.
I wonder if most lolcows are on autotroll

I wonder if Chris came across Fingerhut while looking up porn...

We already know the answer to that, he was licking his lips, and farting while searching for porn and trying to come up with a way to make his lie believable.

 

[Pepsi-Cola]

After a session of contemplation, I've came up with my own theory.

I think that there are no doubts at all that Chris bought the PS4 himself and claimed that a "fan" bought it for him. However, the main speculation on this issue is the legitimacy of the Fingerhut purchase and method of purchase.

Fingerhut is a notoriously crappy business. The only people who still buy from them are people who are naive or bad at doing background checks. Chris is famously naive and much too stupid to do background checks. Many people are pointing out the oddity of the Black ops III bundle purchase, as Chris showed interest in the Destiny bundle. But let's really think about this. Let's go into the mindset of Chris. Did Chris want the bundle because he is a fan of the game Destiny, which may I remind you he could play on PS3 and he's showed no interest in before, or did he want it because of the White PS4 (a unique and interesting design) and because it was the most expensive version of the PS4? Think about the arbitrary nature of Chris for a moment. Also, only Chris would pay that extra 32$ for faster shipping.

Also think about the made up fan's name, "Kagney Lynn Moore". Kagney Lynn is the name of a pornstar, not to sound morbid, but is it far fetched to assume Chris choose the name after a mass debation session? He's had a history of picking stupid names for his schemes. Also consider the credit card, Chris is famous for using credit cards for irresponsibly large purchases.

All evidence points towards Chris purchasing the PS4 himself, using a Fingerhut credit card, buying the Black ops III bundle because he couldn't get the Destiny bundle, going to whack off to some porn, and then using a fake name he based on a porn actress to try and show his fanbase that he's still popular and beloved by everybody but the dang dirty trolls.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

I love Kim's comments that subtly make fun of Chris without him generally noticing it but I know recently his opinion has began to sour on her and after this I'd be surprised if he kept her added much longer. The way she so gently told him he should probably update his status like she believed he had just made some kind of mistake was brilliant.

I'm not 100% sure if the post is genuine but when Kim is convinced he bought it for himself then I must be wrong, looks like no one did stump up the money for him after all.

Kim is a super gal and I'd like to court her.

Also, there's no way Barb knows he bought this. "Kagney and Lacey bought it for ya? *fart* Just don't be wastin' any of our money on it."

 

[KatsuKitty]

What kind of fucking shit company gives out customer data like this?

That kind of tells you how CWC was able to afford a PS4. He bought it from one of the shadiest characters in the business.

Fingerhut is notorious for trapping you in debt. They're like a rent-to-own business.

 

[Professor Iris]

Holy shit. I'd rather finger butts than deal with Fingerhut.

 

[Justlurkin]

And now rereading the original PS4 announcement thread just got a lot funnier.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

If he'd given it another month, I think it's possible if not likely that somebody would have sent him one. But he had to have it NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW.

 

[Count Olaf]

Oh, good. That's a relief. Nobody was actually stupid enough to get him one. There's hope for humanity yet. Also gotta love that along with the lying about getting a PS4 from someone he had to say they also "swiftly" used the Sonichu voucher.