Pffffftt.
Here's how it went down:
Bob has alienated his family; his kids want nothing to do with him.
- looking for the admiration he craves, he frequents bars
- gets drunk regularly
- meets this trashy gal with obvious issues
- gets drunk with her
- unprotected porking (probably drunk) ensues
- repeatedly
- whoopsie, trashy gal is pregnant. Go figure.
- Bob makes an honest woman out of her.
What's next? Almost three decades of pretending that nothing of that ever happened.
Hey, if I just shut myself in in this here garden shed and pretend real hard that I did nothing wrong, everything will be alright.
Oh, let's not forget three decades of horribly stupid decisions:
- Buy a lot of expensive cars without being able to afford them, don't know how to drive them, don't maintain them - now they're lawn ornaments.
- School officials suggest special education tailored to the special needs of my unwanted son? Naah. Can't let the neighbors think I fathered a tardbaby.
- Dream up a series of paranoid conspiracy theories, each one stupider than the previous one
- Claim affiliation with the KKK to impress/scare a couple of stupid weens instead of hanging up on them
- Continue to stuff face with fast food after triple bypass operation
- Wife develops full-blown psychosis? Time for some quality hours in the garden shed.
- Friends? Social life? Bah, humbug. People don't treat the inventor of plastic molding controls with the respect he deserves! They're antisocial trolls!
In short, a lot of Chris' stupidity is the direct result of him mimicking his stupid father.