Is there a point in online dating? - Incels gather here

[queerape]

Who is the buyer and who is the seller here?

It's a bit more complex because both parties are buyers and sellers, yet there are still distinct supply and demand curves. The currency can be seen as time. It isn't a perfect model, but the same principles apply.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

I tried to give online dating a shot a couple of times, but every time I used it I'd stop and think, "what the hell am I doing?" and immediately delete my account.

Firstly, there's this bizarre disconnect for me. I'm a pretty introverted person, it takes a long time for me to actually make friends with someone, let alone actually develop a crush on someone. Online dating is basically forcing myself to be attracted to someone who might not even be using their real picture, and I can't really force that to happen, not unless I actually know the person.

Secondly, I end up feeling kinda pathetic about it despite the high number of people my age doing it. Am I so desperate I have to talk to random strangers to see if maybe they're interested in me? I dunno, I get the stigma against online dating is no longer there for most young people but I still feel like a loser. Weirdly I even feel like that when I see someone I actually know on a service, like what if this person finds my account? Then I'd feel like a complete idiot. Despite the fact they have one too (and probably not even using it).

I dunno, I guess as someone who already doesn't feel comfortable talking to total strangers, online dating just feels too impersonal.

 

[Your Weird Fetish]

It's a bit more complex because both parties are buyers and sellers, yet there are still distinct supply and demand curves. The currency can be seen as time. It isn't a perfect model, but the same principles apply.

Time can't be traded though, only consumed.

 

[Cheeseburger Picnic]

Maybe I'm just a romantic but the sheer secondhand embarrassment of hearing stories from people about how they met their SO swiping right on their picture after swiping right on a dozen other near-identical pictures while standing in line at the DMV or sitting on the toilet is the main reason I never considered online dating during single times.

 

[queerape]

Maybe I'm just a romantic but the sheer secondhand embarrassment of hearing stories from people about how they met their SO swiping right on their picture after swiping right on a dozen other near-identical pictures while standing in line at the DMV or sitting on the toilet is the main reason I never considered online dating during single times.

I met all of my past relationships under extremely extraordinary circumstances (with huge distances and time factors involved) so finding a SO by swiping right on the toilet seems kinda underwhelming to me.

 

[L50LasPak]

I've noticed its become a lot more complicated than it used to be when I was a kid. Or maybe I never properly understood it, but I've ended up in conversations with multiple people who've told me "Hey, dumbass, I'm a prostitute. You're in the wrong place." in slightly more words so they don't get banned. I didn't know that was part of the game now.

It also sucks unless you live an an area with a good hard million or so people in it, which basically means if you don't live in a huge population center or aren't willing to drive 3 hours to meet your date, you kind of just have to sit on your hands, browse and see if any one of the 20-30 people in the location catches your eye.

Also I've noticed a few sites actively sabotage their data now. Like some sites actually have fake accounts and don't give you precise information on when somebody was last online. I know that's probably because weirdos ruined it for everyone but at the same time if someone hasn't been on for 20 days that's nice to know so I can fuck off and go do literally anything else with my time.

 

[Cheeseburger Picnic]

I met all of my past relationships under extremely extraordinary circumstances (with huge distances and time factors involved) so finding a SO by swiping right on the toilet seems kinda underwhelming to me.

Met mine locking eyes in a crowd on mind melting quantities of LSD but basically same.

 

[queerape]

Met mine locking eyes in a crowd on mind melting quantities of LSD but basically same.

One them was in a snow storm after being high for 3 days.

 

[saralovesjuicyfruit]

I'm really glad I have never really had to date. It sounds awful.

 

[Win98SE]

Tinder blew up the market and turned everything into an app for fucking. Years ago OkCupid was one of the better sites because they put a shitload of emphasis on writing a good profile and answering questions that would better match you with someone, but they removed a lot of that stuff because it was having the EXTREMELY PROBLEMATIC (!!!!!) effect of making sure no trans people would show up in your feed. Now they make you pay to filter out trans people IIRC. Regardless, the last time I used OkC it was basically the reject pile for the more modern and phone-only apps like Bumble or Tinder that just show you a pic and ask "Would you smash?"

But OP, you'll have way more fun if online dating is done in addition to regular IRL meet-n-fuck/date situations or you ratchet down how serious you're taking it. FWIW, I've never written a serious profile or written a genuine first message and have had decent results - I'll write something off the cuff, exchange a few messages, get a number, then ask to meet up. 30 minutes to an hour, max. If you do more than that and they leave you hanging you'll want to do something dangerous. Your pictures are all that matter for getting your foot in the door, and thankfully we live in an age were self-portraits are encouraged.

 

[A Logging Company]

Met my current SO playing tf2, of all games.

To clarify, we were both over 18 at the time. Because I dont want anyone thinking I'm a pedo

I don't think when people talk about "online dating" they mean connections made from organic online interactions like that, they mean human meat markets like Tinder, or algorithmic arrange marriages like Match.com.

I've been tempted to try online dating to see if marketing techniques would work in that context, but I hate social media and putting information about myself online.

 

[drfuzzyballs]

I wasted way too much time trying to appeal to low quality women, it's like they're all imperfect copies of some stereotypical feminist crank. And no matter how low quality they were they still not interested in me so I get to live with that fact.

 

[AmeliaWise]

I’m 22, and as time goes on dating apps seem to be becoming the only really effective way to get a date, which is a problem because I kind of doesn’t like using them.

I’ve only used Tinder and OKCupid. Tinder I’m not cool with. The “swipe right, swipe left” thing just makes me uncomfortable and I don’t know if that’s reasonable or not.

OKCupid I find a lot more palatable, since it seems to surface a lot more about actual potential talking points or red flags that could come up on a first date, and seems less focused on a “yes or no” binary right off the bat. But again, I’m made pretty uncomfortable by the idea of being matched to a person via a computer algorithm. Just a personal hang-up I have to get over, honestly.

 

[Spunt]

I did online dating as my primary way of meeting people for years. I did meet a couple of people I had long-term relationships with, but on the other hand, especially for guys it's a soul-shattering experience of being rejected ten times a day for weeks on end. Probably a better way to meet people for casual sex but I was dumb enough to want some actual connection with someone. Plus the usual experiences - girls that turn out to be a full 300lbs heavier than their profile pic, tracking down someone's Facebook only to find they have four kids by three different dads that they didn't tell you about, all good stories in retrospect but no fun when you have your hopes up about someone.

Also, each site (at least in the UK) has its own particular horrible clientele:

OKCupid - Swarming with infuriating hipsters, all of whom list David Bowie as one of their favourite musicians. Literally all of them. One girl had written her entire profile in the third person and listed Pliny the Elder as one of her favourite authors.

PoF - Council estate ditchpigs and fat goths with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

Match - Basic blonde women called Laura who work in HR and have had their personalities surgically removed. "I like nights out but also nights in".

Craigslist - Psychopaths, weirdos and serial killers. I got all my actually good dates from the assorted nutcases here.

In the end I met my wife through a mutual hobby we had. Whilst we did get in contact over the internet initially, it wasn't for dating purposes so I don't know if it counts.

 

[Niggernerd]

Depends. If you expect a relationship that won't be a fairy tale for the rest of your life then yea its fine, or if you're in my position where every woman around you is either a fat ugly mexican, generic thots with no personality except loving nigger music and drinking more than they shame their parents and really boring cunts then yes again.
If you wish to have a forever lasting one. Well there's honestly not such thing. Dating online can fail as fast as an irl relationship. Neither is great or bad just human nature. Fuck and move on.

I would do it but i can't since my loyalty lies with my boat waifus.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Online dating has killed the “I think I’m in love” aspect, if we consider how far Tinder and Bumble have destroyed the way how women are supposed to view themselves.

 

[A Welsh Cake]

Man, I haven’t had a proper match with anyone in forever.
Wether I go for the “hey bb u wan som fuq” approach or a more sensible attempt to chat with the girl, no matter what I get no replies.

At this point I’m convinced dating sites (At least in my area) are for girls to just say “I matched with this many people” and treat it as an offshoot if their Instagram.
But maybe that’s just my MOTI top hat talking.

 

[Your Weird Fetish]

I did online dating as my primary way of meeting people for years. I did meet a couple of people I had long-term relationships with, but on the other hand, especially for guys it's a soul-shattering experience of being rejected ten times a day for weeks on end.

So really it's only different from regular dating in terms of bandwidth?

 

[Freya]

online dating will make anyone who is not photogenic want to commit suicide

 

[Lemmingwise]

Tinder blew up the market and turned everything into an app for fucking. Years ago OkCupid was one of the better sites because they put a shitload of emphasis on writing a good profile and answering questions that would better match you with someone, but they removed a lot of that stuff because it was having the EXTREMELY PROBLEMATIC (!!!!!) effect of making sure no trans people would show up in your feed. Now they make you pay to filter out trans people IIRC. Regardless, the last time I used OkC it was basically the reject pile for the more modern and phone-only apps like Bumble or Tinder that just show you a pic and ask "Would you smash?"

Yes, there was a brief golden time of okcupid when it actually functioned like a digital cupid. It allowed me to find a girl who was like a female version of me. It was weird how many crucial things were identitical (unless you consider how their match % worked). We had a couple of the same friends without knowing too. Another reason okcupid worked well is that it didn't just have dating, but an entertaining quizzes area, that anyone could make some for. This gave people some plausible deniability "oh I'm just here for the tests heehee", which tends to be conducive to creating less of a pathetic atmosphere.

But then it got bought by the jews from match.com group, and they made sure that this app that was helping people find love became just another hookup app.