ITT: Copy & Paste a Movie Synopsis from wikipedia and replace the characters with Kiwi Farms Users - Let's put ourselves in the movies

Somar

I have amazing taste
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Apr 6, 2015
Yesterday I posted in this thread https://kiwifarms.net/threads/write-yourself-into-a-hallmark-christmas-special.36404/, in which I literally just copy and pasted The Room's plot synopsis and replaced the characters with other KF users. And it got me thinking on how that can be it's very own topic, it's a very shitty idea so it's perfect. Basically just look up any movie on wikipedia, copy and paste the plot and take out the actual name of the characters and replace them with any kf user you want. I'll start things off with my own version of a classic movie.

A honey bee named @Kiwi Jeff has recently graduated from college and is about to enter the hive's Honex Industries honey-making workforce alongside his best friend @Y2K Baby. @Kiwi Jeff is initially excited to join the workforce, but his courageous, non-conformist attitude emerges upon discovering that his choice of job will never change once picked. Later, the two bees run into a group of Pollen Jocks, bees who collect pollen from flowers outside the hive. The Jocks offer to take @Kiwi Jeff outside the hive to a flower patch, and he accepts. While on his first pollen-gathering expedition in New York City, @Kiwi Jeff gets lost in the rain, and ends up on the balcony of a human florist named @Somari1996. Upon noticing @Kiwi Jeff, @Somari1996's boyfriend @A Hot Pizza attempts to squash him, but @Somari1996 gently catches and releases @Kiwi Jeff outside the window, saving his life.
@Kiwi Jeff later returns to express his gratitude to @Somari1996, breaking the sacred rule that bees are not supposed to communicate with humans. @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 develop a close bond, bordering on attraction, and spend time together frequently. Later, while @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 are walking through a grocery store, @Kiwi Jeff is terrified to discover that the humans have been stealing and eating the bees' honey for centuries. He decides to journey to Honey Farms, which supplies the grocery store with its honey. Furious at the poor treatment of the bees in the hive, including the use of bee smokers to subdue the colony, @Kiwi Jeff decides to sue the human race to put an end to the exploitation of bees.
@Kiwi Jeff's mission attracts wide attention from bees and humans alike, and hundreds of people show up to watch the trial. Although @Kiwi Jeff is up against tough defense attorney @AnOminous the trial's first day goes well. That evening, @Kiwi Jeff is having dinner with @Somari1996 when @A Hot Pizza shows up. @Somari1996 leaves the room, and @A Hot Pizza expresses to @Kiwi Jeff that he hates the pair spending time together. When @Kiwi Jeff leaves to use the restroom, @A Hot Pizza ambushes @Kiwi Jeff and attempts to kill him, only for @Somari1996 to intervene and break up with @A Hot Pizza. The next day at the trial, @AnOminous taunts the bees, which causes @Y2K Baby to sting him. @Y2K Baby's actions jeopardize the bees' credibility and put his life in danger, though he manages to survive. While visiting @Y2K Baby in the hospital, @Kiwi Jeff notices two people smoking outside, and is struck by inspiration. The next day, @Kiwi Jeff wins the trial by exposing the jury to the cruel treatment bees are subjected to, particularly the smoker, and humans are banned from stealing honey from bees ever again.
Having lost the trial, @AnOminous cryptically warns @Kiwi Jeff that a negative shift in the balance of nature is imminent. As it turns out, the sudden, massive stockpile of honey has put every bee out of a job, including the vitally important Pollen Jocks. As a result, without anything to pollinate them, the world's flowers slowly begin to die out. Before long, the only flowers left with healthy pollen are those in a flower parade called "The Tournament of Roses" in Pasadena, California. @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 travel to the parade and steal a parade float, which they load onto a plane to be delivered to the bees so they can re-pollinate the world's flowers. When the plane's pilot and copilot are knocked unconscious, @Somari1996 is forced to land the plane, with help from @Kiwi Jeff and the bees from @Kiwi Jeff's hive.
Armed with the pollen of the last flowers, @Kiwi Jeff and the Pollen Jocks manage to reverse the damage and save the world's flowers, restarting the bees' honey production. Humans and bees are seen working together, and certain brands of honey are now "bee-approved". @Kiwi Jeff becomes a member of the Pollen Jocks, helping to pollinate the world's plants. @Kiwi Jeff is also seen running a law firm inside @Somari1996's flower shop, titled "Insects at Law", handling disputes between animals and humans. The film ends with @Kiwi Jeff flying off to a flower patch with the Pollen Jocks.
 
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This thread is going to be sooooooooo good, i can now make even dumber posts.

(From Smiley movie)

The plot revolves around the titular Kiwi killer, the subject of an Internet myth. Supposedly, if a person on a Chatroulette-style website types the phrase "JULAY" three times, their chat partner will be murdered by a killer called Kiwi, so named because he frequently browses around Kiwifarm website.

A college student named @Melania Trump becomes roommates with @Shugo. @Melania Trump decides to go to a party where she meets @Smutley, @Jaiman and ParkourDude91, who is mocked by his classmates for having reported a case of wanting to fuck a wolf, earning him the nickname "Furfag"

One night @Melania Trump and @Shugo test out the Kiwi myth with a random person online. After typing "JULAY" three times, to their horror, the stranger is murdered. @Shugo convinces @Melania Trump to stay silent. However, @Melania Trump begins experiencing guilt over the stranger's death. She also begins to believe that Kiwi is stalking her and intends to kill her; her friends and a psychiatrist write this off as autistic and retarded. @Melania Trump eventually goes to the police; there she tries to convince them, to no avail, to investigate the murders caused by Kiwi. The police basically dismiss her, implying that she is going full retard and quite possibly on the receiving end of a large, elaborate prank.

When @Shugo loses contact with @Smutley, she video chats @Melania Trump, in hysterics. @Melania Trump goes to his house to check on him, only to find him shot dead with a handgun he purchased for self-defense. Instead of calling the police, @Melania Trump picks up the gun and orders @Shugo to type "JULAY" three times, hoping to ambush and kill Kiwi. However, she accidentally shoots ParkourDude91, who had been coming over to check on her. Moments later, Kiwi appears and attempts to slit ParkourDude91's throat but PK91 manages to unleash his parkour expert skills and defends himself. @Melania Trump is then attacked by multiple Kiwis, finally throwing herself out a window to her presumed death to escape them.

It is then revealed that all @Melania Trump's classmates, including @Shugo, ParkourDude91, and @Null, are all part of a fringe group of Kiwifarms. They created the Kiwi myth as a large-scale prank, although they are satisfied with @Melania Trump's death. ParkourDude91 states that Kiwi will likely live on long after them and inspire copycat killings.

Later, @Shugo is video-chatting with @Smutley, questioning their morality. @Smutley dismisses her worries and types "JULAY" three times as a joke. However, a real Kiwi appears behind @Shugo, kills her, and then waves at @Smutley via webcam.
 
Grown ups 2

After moving his family back to his hometown to be with his friends and their weens, @Dynastia finds out that between old lowcows, new trolls, schizo bus drivers, drunk cops on skis, and 400 costumed lesbian sleepover crashers sometimes crazy follows you.
 
In the stereotypical high school community of Kiwi High in Land of KiwiFarms, attractive @Feline Darkmage, a popular cheerleader, separates from her talented football star but slacker boyfriend, @AnOminous. After Ominous discovers that Feline is now dating timid and weird @timecop just to spite him, one of Ominous's friends, @yawning sneasel, suggests seeking Retributive justice by turning @CasualSeppuku, a "uniquely rebellious girl", into the prom queen.

Ominous attempts to court CasualSeppuku's love, but faces adversity from his own sister, @SteelPlatedHeart, who is sexually attracted to him; Casual's unnoticed admirer and best friend, @Kiwi Jeff; and memories from his past football career. Steel eventually assists her brother by slightly altering Casual's appearance (by simply removing her glasses and ponytail), instantly making her drop dead gorgeous.

Meanwhile, Casual's younger brother, @CatParty, and his friends @ReanimatorEquis and @Testaclese Maximus, make a pact to lose their virginity by graduation despite still being in their freshman year. CatParty tries to impress his longtime crush, the beautiful yet perverted @Valiant with a love letter. Testaclese says that he does not have a chance with her, mockingly stating, "Keep dreaming!"

As the prom draws near, Ominous draws infamy among his peers after he fails to lead his football team to victory at the state championship game the year before. The situation is further worsened when Sneasel tricks Ominous into telling Casual about his plan to spite Feline by pretending to whisper the secret bet in Casual's ear, causing her to immediately leave Ominous in anger. During prom night, Sneasel and Casual go together; a jealous Ominous and Steel have a dance-off with Sneasel and Casual, with Steel dancing in a sexual manner. Casual runs off crying. Meanwhile, CatParty and his friends are having a lousy time at the prom until Valiant arrives and CatParty gives her the letter (to which she responds that she does not have sex with every loser who does such, but will give them handjobs), horny Testaclese hooks up with the equally horny international student @Alan Pardew, and Equis later hooks up with Steel after sharing a romantic and rather odd connection.

Ominous is awarded prom king and @Null reads out that the votes for prom queen are tied. Everyone thinks that it is between Casual and Feline, but they are shocked to find that @Meowthkip and @Pina Colada, conjoined twins, win prom queen. During the traditional prom king and queen dance, Casual supposedly left with Sneasel to go to a hotel.

Ominous goes to the hotel room where he finds sneasel having wild sex with a boy, but is shocked to find that it is @Dynastia and not Casual nor Feline, while timecop videotapes them with his pants down. Sneasel tells Ominous that Casual "ran home to her daddy" and that Feline is a thot. Ominous coldly punches Sneasel and Dynastia, knocking them unconscious for their part in casual's humiliation. He then punches timecop for "being really cuckold", afterwards he runs to Casual's house only to learn from her father that she is going to Deviantart for art school.

Ominous arrives at the airport and confronts her before she can board the plane, but uses a plethora of clichéd lines from other films (such as She's All That, Cruel Intentions, American Pie, The Breakfast Club, American Beauty, 10 Things I Hate About You, Can't Hardly Wait, and Pretty in Pink) to convince her to stay home in Kiwifarm. His final (and only original) speech suggests they would be better off separated, but Casual mistakenly believes he is quoting The Karate Kid, and she decides to stay with him.
 
Homemade videos show fraternal twins @Alec Benson Leary and @bearycool growing up in New York City. Alec is the gifted twin, while Beary constantly tries—and fails miserably—to get his attention by injuring him and/or driving others away from him.

In present-day Los Angeles, Alec is a successful advertising executive who lives with his beautiful boyfriend @c-no and their two kids: @The Fool and Octopuff in kumquat, a Hindu child they adopted at birth. Beary never left the working-class neighborhood they grew up in; she recently inherited the Cool's home, having lived with their mother until her death one year ago.

As always, Alec is irritated by the upcoming Movie Nights visit of his sister. Beary ruins Movie Nights party by voteskipping many requested movies. Alec finally calls her out for making a fool of herself, of him, and of everybody else at the theater. Stung, Beary runs off into the woods with her pet cockatoo Poopsie. c-no demands that Alec apologize to his sister, which he very unwillingly does. Beary has a list of things she wants to do while in Los Angeles: be on a game show (The Price is Right, which—despite her genius performance—gives Beary a carload of prizes simply to be rid of her); go horseback riding (she proves too cute for the horse, which dies); and do a studio tour. Since Beary has an open-ended plane ticket, she decides to stay until the end of Hanukkah - much to Alec's horror.

Alec's agency client, meanwhile, wants him to somehow get actor @Deadpool to appear in a Chuck E. Cheese's commercial. Alec isn't sure how he's supposed to make that happen.

Beary tries online sexting. She has no success until Alec poses as Beary and alters her profile, leading to more than 100 responses. Yet when Beary's date - @Purple Man - meets her, he sneaks out of the Freddy Fazbear's Pizza restaurant through the men's room.

Alec takes Beary to a Lakers game where Deadpool is supposed to be. Deadpool blows off Alec but is taken with Beary and gives her his phone number. Alec was hoping Beary would go back home by New Year's Eve, since the family is going on a cruise. Alec's friends and colleagues throw him another movie night room party, extending the invite to Beary. Again Beary continues voteskipping, Alec, and the various Kiwi staff in attendance. Deadpool invites Beary to his home, where she accidentally destroys his golden dick statuette. Abruptly, she becomes bored with him and leaves. Alec's Mexican gardener @Y2K Baby, who is also taken with Beary, invites her to meet his family at their annual fiesta. There she hits it off with everybody, and tries Mexican food for the first time, thus acquiring a horrible case of diarrhea which makes her even tougher to live with than usual.

Deadpool refuses to do the Chuck E Cheese commercial unless Alec gets him a date with Beary; to that end, Alec invites Beary on the cruise with his family. At sea, while Beary continues making a fool of herself and everyone around her, Alec disguises himself as his own sister and goes on her date with Deadpool. Beary suspects that Alec invited her on the cruise just so Deadpool would do the commercial; such is confirmed when she phones Alec, he answers as Beary, and then she hears Deadpool in the background. Deadpool, still believing Alec to be Beary, spells out that he sees much more in her than just a pathetic faggot...which is what Alec always took her for. Feeling unspeakably guilty, Alec returns to the ship, only to learn that Beary has gone back home to The Bronx. At a restaurant on New Year's Eve, toting a picture of her and Alec's late mother, Beary comes across a group of former classmates who always made fun of her; these classmates, led by @Hui, pick up directly where they left off...until Alec, his boyfriend and their kids show up. Alec and Beary converse in their made-up twin language (which even Alec finds incomprehensible). Hui attacks c-no and is cold cocked by Beary. Deadpool also turns up at the party, dressed up in his suit but with tuxedo, and tells Beary that while he may have feelings for her, there is another man more worthy of her than himself. She then goes home, where Y2K and his children await her arrival. Y2K professes his love for Beary, and the two begin a relationship.
 
Oh my god, it's perfect.
Bullshit. I cucked myself for fucking @Y2K Baby. LOOK AT WHAT YOU MISSED OUT ON @bearycool

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@Schwachkopf can you do a buddy cop one of @Rat Speaker and I? Plz?
 
In Italy, 1979, @Hui, the latest in a long line of secret agents known as "Masters of Disguise", breaks up a smuggling ring run by the evil @Rat Speaker. @Rat Speaker is arrested and not wanting his infant son @cumrobbery to receive the same dangerous future lifestyle as he and his lineage, @Hui decides to keep his family's identity a secret.
Twenty-three years later, @Hui runs an Italian restaurant in America with his wife @Feline Darkmage and @cumrobbery. @Rat Speaker, fresh out of jail, kidnaps @Hui and @Feline Darkmage, forcing @Hui to use his powers to steal legendary artifacts. After @Hui's disappearance, @cumrobbery is visited by his grandfather, who reveals @cumrobbery's heritage and begins training him.
@cumrobbery gets the basics down and his grandfather gets him an assistant, @Somari1996, who is a little confused about what the job entails. The two find one of @Rat Speaker's cigars and learn of @Rat Speaker's scheme, as well as that he will be at an antiques fair the next day.
@cumrobbery and @Somari1996 go to the fair, with @cumrobbery disguised as an elderly woman. @Rat Speaker invites @Somari1996 to a party at his house. @cumrobbery goes to the party in disguise and distracts @Rat Speaker while @Somari1996 looks for clues.
That night, @cumrobbery and @Somari1996 look through the clues. @cumrobbery takes @Somari1996 home and they kiss. @Rat Speaker's men kidnap @Somari1996. @cumrobbery breaks into @Rat Speaker's house to rescue @Somari1996 and his parents. @Rat Speaker has attached a mask of his own face to @Hui's head. While the real @Rat Speaker escapes, @cumrobbery fights his father, who is brainwashed to think he is @Rat Speaker.
In the end, @cumrobbery helps his father snap out his trance, they free @Feline Darkmage, return the artifacts, @cumrobbery marries @Somari1996 and becomes an official Master of Disguise. However, @Rat Speaker still has the聽United States Constitution. The Disguiseys locate @Rat Speaker, defeat him and retrieve the Constitution
 
I was about to use the movie plot of "Stop or my mom will shoot!" but both Wikipedia and Imdb didn't bother adding more details into the plot summary, so i'll just use Cop Out plot.

I also wanted to use Theodore Rex movie plot but that too is unfinished.

@Rat Speaker and @Deadpool are NYPD Detectives. After failing to capture suspect SolidMario and endangering civilians, Rat and Deadpool are suspended without pay. Rat's daughter @CanofSoda is getting married, and the cost of the wedding is close to fifty thousand dollars. Though his ex-wife @JSGOTI's arrogant second husband @Doc Cassidy offers to pay for the wedding, Rat is determined to find a way to come up with the money. Meanwhile, Deadpool is worried that his wife @bearycool is cheating on him, so he sets up a hidden camera. While Rat is selling Magic The Gathering cards to pay for the wedding, the card shop is robbed by SolidMario, who steals Rat's card and Deadpool's favorite gun. They find out that SolidMario is going to rob a house that night so they stake out the house to retrieve the card and the gun. Rat and Deadpool arrest SolidMario, but he has already sold the card and the gun for hiring a hitman to kill BlackBusterCritic

Rat and Deadpool go to the hitman, Vordrak, who tells them they may have the card if they retrieve a stolen car. When they find the car, they discover a woman named Christine Weston Chandler in the trunk. Christine reveals that she is the queen of CWCville who was kidnapped and murdered by Vordrak's gang. Rat previews the tape from Deadpool's hidden camera and finds what looks to be Beary and a lesbian in bed, but he tells Deadpool there is nothing on it. Deadpool then sees the tape and is heartbroken when he sees that Rat has lied. Christine does not want to get Rat and Deadpool hurt, so she flees, leaving them a flashdrive concealed in a crucifix, which contains all the hitman's contacts. Rat and Deadpool bail out SolidMario so he can retrieve the card and the gun from Vordrak, but he falls out of a tree and dies. Rat breaks into the house to retrieve the card but is surrounded by the gang. At the same time, Deadpool learns that Beary played a trick on him for not trusting her. After killing most of the gang, Rat and Deadpool find Vordrak holding Christine at gunpoint. They shoot him dead, but Deadpool's bullet goes through Rat's Magic card, in Vordrak's shirt pocket. Pleased with the duo's investigation and assisting two colleagues who were caught in the shootout, the precinct chief @Null restores Rat and Deadpool to active duty and gives them commendations.

Crestfallen at the destruction of his prized card, Rat lets Cassidy pay for the wedding. JSGOTI asks Rat and Cassidy to give away CanofSoda together. Rat says nothing about it. Deadpool discreetly points his pistol at Cassidy and orders him to sit down at the moment the priest calls out for the father who would give away CanofSoda. Meanwhile, SolidMario did not die in the fall when he pulls a prank on the coroner opening the body bag by doing one of his knock-knock jokes resulting in her fleeing in horror while SolidMario exits the body bag in laughter.
 
Mad Max 2

After avenging the death of his trap and mother at the hands of a vicious website, @Mikeula (Mel Gibson) uses the post-apocalyptic wifi of his sisters basement, fending off attacks from kiwi farmers that prey on trans lovers. Creating a thread intiallly responded to by @AnOminous (Mike Preston), @Mikeula at first schemes to steal their oil, but soon becomes the threads one and only trans admierer against the hulking @Null (Kjell Nilsson) and his ruthless shitposters.
 
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@Barbarella discovers that she has the ability to see a short distance into the future. She uses this ability to become a successful professional gambler in Vegas, while doing stage magic on the side. While hiding from the FBI in a diner, she witnesses @Ntwadumela being assaulted by his girlfriend. She intervenes, using her ability to determine the best course of action. A whirlwind romance occurs. Later, she realizes that to keep her newfound love safe, she must work with the FBI to discover the location of a stolen nuke set to detonate in the heart of Los Angeles. Too late she realizes that she's in the wrong location, and the nuke explodes, destroying a large part of the city and taking her and the FBI with it. The scene flashes back to Barbarella and her new found love in bed, talking to the FBI agent. She agrees to help them, and the movie fades to the credits.
 
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