ITT: Copy & Paste a Movie Synopsis from wikipedia and replace the characters with Kiwi Farms Users - Let's put ourselves in the movies

[c-no]

Oh my god, it's perfect.

Being married to @Alec Benson Leary and having the pants in the relationship to have him apologize to you. Truly this is perfect.

Now for my autistic movie synopsis:

@Jaiman and his husband @Jaimas experience a parent's worst fear when their 3-year-old daughter @Pinkamena Diane Pie vanishes in a crowded hotel lobby during Jaiman's high school reunion. The ensuing frantic search is unsuccessful, and Jaiman goes through a sustained autistic screeching. Unable to cope with his devastation, Jaiman unintentionally neglects her other children, @Guardian G.I. and @Ntwadumela.

After nine years, the family has seemingly accepted that Pinkamena has gone forever, when a familiar-looking girl turns up at their house, introducing herself as @Cosmos and offers to mow their lawn. Jaiman is convinced that Cosmos is actually his daughter, and begins an investigation that culminates in the discovery that Pinkamena was kidnapped at the ill-fated high school reunion years ago, by a mentally unstable woman who was a high school classmate of Jaiman's. This woman brought up Pinkamena as her own child, until she committed suicide. The attempted re-integration of Pinkamena back into the Jaiman family produces painful results for all involved.

Eventually, the family decides that what's best for Pinkamena is to return her to her adoptive father, and Jaiman returns her to his house. One night, Guardian G.I. leaves the house and Jaiman wakes up to a phone call at 4 in the morning to find out Guardian is in prison. Ntwadumela, Jaiman and Jaimas speak about whether Guardian's actions are taking it too far, and while Jaiman is entering the visitor area, he speaks to Ntwadumela whether Guardian hates him or not, and Ntwadumela reassures him he loves him. After speaking with him during visitor hours, he reveals a man's car was totaled and Guardian could've died because of what he did, which leads to the conclusion Guardian was drunk driving. They hold hands and reconcile their father and son relationship. During the days Guardian is in prison, Jaiman and Jaimas develop relationship problems and start sleeping in separate beds, after arguing about what Jaimas sees of their future, Guardian G.I. and Pinkamena Diane Pie, and whether he loves him or not. Another visitor appears days later and it's Cosmos, mostly known as Pinkamena and she reveals that she remembered something from before her abduction, playing with Guardian G.I. and Guardian finding her, causing him to feel safe. After Jaimas bailing Guardian, one night Guardian finds Pinkamena playing basketball outside. Guardian, who has carried guilt for letting go of Pinkamena at the reunion, is forgiven by Pinkamena who decides to return to living with his real family, but first plays a game of basketball with her brother with their parents secretly watching from their bedroom window.

 

[Black Waltz]

@Kiwi Jeff , a 22-year-old retail clerk at the Quick Stop convenience store in Leonardo, New Jersey, is called into work on his day off by his boss to cover a few hours for another employee who is sick. Arriving at the store, he finds that the locks to the security shutters are jammed closed with chewing gum, so he hangs a sheet over them with a message written in shoe polish: "I ASSURE YOU; WE'RE OPEN."

Jeff's day is spent in the purgatory of serving a succession of customers while repeating the fact that he is "not even supposed to be here today". Stressed with the demands of his job, Jeff passes time in wide-ranging conversations with his best friend, @Dink Smallwood. Dink is an irresponsible slacker who works in the next-door video store, RST Video, although he spends most of the day at the Quick Stop, neglecting the video store's customers. They converse about many things to pass time, such as whether or not the contractors working on the second Death Star when it was destroyed at the end of Return of the Jedi were innocent victims. Other events of the day include the discovery that Jeff's high school girlfriend, @Y2K Baby , whom he has been having early morning phone conversations with, is engaged to be married. Jeff's current girlfriend, @Feline Darkmage , also stops in to bring him homemade lasagne. The two talk about Jeff's stuck-in-a-rut lifestyle with no motivation to change before having an argument about her past sexual partners.

Learning that he is stuck working the store all day, as his boss went to Vermont, Jeff convinces his friends to play hockey on the store roof, though the game is short; twelve minutes in, an enraged customer shoots their only ball off the roof and into a sewer. Reopening the store, Jeff finds another of his ex-girlfriends has died and her wake is today. Dink talks him into closing the store again and going to the wake. The visit is catastrophic, with Dink and Jeff running out to escape in their car. What happened inside the funeral home is not shown, but a subsequent conversation between the two reveals that Dink accidentally knocked over the casket by leaning on it.

That night, Y2K surprises Jeff with a visit. After she assures Jeff that the engagement announcement was premature and arranged by her mother, the two trade banter and Jeff becomes torn between her and Feline. He finally decides to take Y2K on a date and goes home to change. He returns to discover that Y2K had sex with a dead man in the unlit bathroom, having mistaken the man for Jeff (the man had earlier entered the bathroom with a pornographic magazine and had suffered a fatal heart attack while masturbating). An ambulance takes a catatonic Y2K away along with the man's body.

@c-no and @Somari1996, a pair of slackers who have spent all day loitering (and dealing marijuana) outside RST Video, enter the Quick Stop to shoplift. Jeff turns down c-no's offer to party with them. Aware of Jeff's problem, Somari pauses before following c-no outside and offers the following wisdom: "You know, there's a million fine-looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you." Jeff then realizes that he loves Feline. When she returns to the Quick Stop, however, Dink complicates things by revealing that Jeff asked Y2K out. Feline angrily breaks up with Jeff, telling him that Dink informed her of the planned date with Y2K.

When Dink enters the Quick Stop after closing RST, Jeff attacks him and the two fight, making a mess of the store. Afterward, they lie on the floor exhausted. Jeff claims that Dink does nothing for him but make his life miserable by getting him fined, offending his customers, and ruining his relationship. Dink loses his temper and verbally explodes, saying that Jeff deserves the blame, as Jeff, closed the store to play hockey, closed it again to go to the wake, and closed it yet again to try to hook up with his ex-girlfriend, cheating on his current one in the process. He then says that Jeff came to work of his own free will and "overcompensates for having a monkey's job". He claims Jeff thinks he is more advanced than the customers and storms off with "if we're so fucking advanced, what are we doing working here?" leaving Jeff speechless on the floor.

They reconcile and Jeff says he will try to talk to Feline, visit Y2K, and possibly get some direction in his life. The film ends with Dink walking out of the store, popping back in briefly to toss Jeff's sign at him stating, "You're closed!"
i tried lol

 

[Kiwi Jeff]

@Kiwi Jeff , a 22-year-old retail clerk at the Quick Stop convenience store in Leonardo, New Jersey, is called into work on his day off by his boss to cover a few hours for another employee who is sick. Arriving at the store, he finds that the locks to the security shutters are jammed closed with chewing gum, so he hangs a sheet over them with a message written in shoe polish: "I ASSURE YOU; WE'RE OPEN."

Jeff's day is spent in the purgatory of serving a succession of customers while repeating the fact that he is "not even supposed to be here today". Stressed with the demands of his job, Jeff passes time in wide-ranging conversations with his best friend, @Dink Smallwood. Dink is an irresponsible slacker who works in the next-door video store, RST Video, although he spends most of the day at the Quick Stop, neglecting the video store's customers. They converse about many things to pass time, such as whether or not the contractors working on the second Death Star when it was destroyed at the end of Return of the Jedi were innocent victims. Other events of the day include the discovery that Jeff's high school girlfriend, @Y2K Baby , whom he has been having early morning phone conversations with, is engaged to be married. Jeff's current girlfriend, @Feline Darkmage , also stops in to bring him homemade lasagne. The two talk about Jeff's stuck-in-a-rut lifestyle with no motivation to change before having an argument about her past sexual partners.

Learning that he is stuck working the store all day, as his boss went to Vermont, Jeff convinces his friends to play hockey on the store roof, though the game is short; twelve minutes in, an enraged customer shoots their only ball off the roof and into a sewer. Reopening the store, Jeff finds another of his ex-girlfriends has died and her wake is today. Dink talks him into closing the store again and going to the wake. The visit is catastrophic, with Dink and Jeff running out to escape in their car. What happened inside the funeral home is not shown, but a subsequent conversation between the two reveals that Dink accidentally knocked over the casket by leaning on it.

That night, Y2K surprises Jeff with a visit. After she assures Jeff that the engagement announcement was premature and arranged by her mother, the two trade banter and Jeff becomes torn between her and Feline. He finally decides to take Y2K on a date and goes home to change. He returns to discover that Y2K had sex with a dead man in the unlit bathroom, having mistaken the man for Jeff (the man had earlier entered the bathroom with a pornographic magazine and had suffered a fatal heart attack while masturbating). An ambulance takes a catatonic Y2K away along with the man's body.

@c-no and @Somari1996, a pair of slackers who have spent all day loitering (and dealing marijuana) outside RST Video, enter the Quick Stop to shoplift. Jeff turns down c-no's offer to party with them. Aware of Jeff's problem, Somari pauses before following c-no outside and offers the following wisdom: "You know, there's a million fine-looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you." Jeff then realizes that he loves Feline. When she returns to the Quick Stop, however, Dink complicates things by revealing that Jeff asked Y2K out. Feline angrily breaks up with Jeff, telling him that Dink informed her of the planned date with Y2K.

When Dink enters the Quick Stop after closing RST, Jeff attacks him and the two fight, making a mess of the store. Afterward, they lie on the floor exhausted. Jeff claims that Dink does nothing for him but make his life miserable by getting him fined, offending his customers, and ruining his relationship. Dink loses his temper and verbally explodes, saying that Jeff deserves the blame, as Jeff, closed the store to play hockey, closed it again to go to the wake, and closed it yet again to try to hook up with his ex-girlfriend, cheating on his current one in the process. He then says that Jeff came to work of his own free will and "overcompensates for having a monkey's job". He claims Jeff thinks he is more advanced than the customers and storms off with "if we're so fucking advanced, what are we doing working here?" leaving Jeff speechless on the floor.

They reconcile and Jeff says he will try to talk to Feline, visit Y2K, and possibly get some direction in his life. The film ends with Dink walking out of the store, popping back in briefly to toss Jeff's sign at him stating, "You're closed!"
i tried lol

 

[Kari Kamiya]

A group of children are playing hide-and-seek in the courtyard of an apartment building somewhere in America using a chant about a predator of children. A woman sets the table for dinner, waiting for her daughter to come home from school. A wanted poster warns of a pedophile preying on children, as anxious parents wait outside a school.

Little Elsie Beckmann leaves school, bouncing a ball on her way home. She is approached by @Roasted, who is whistling "Rettsu! Ohime-sama Dakko"from an anime. He offers to buy her a balloon from a blind street-vendor and walks and talks with her. Elsie's place at the dinner table remains empty, her ball is shown rolling away across a patch of grass and her balloon is lost in the telephone lines overhead.

In the wake of Elsie's disappearance, anxiety runs high among the public. @Roasted sends an anonymous letter to Internet blogs, taking credit for the kidnappings and murders and promising that he will commit others; the Kiwis extract clues from the letter, using the new techniques of doxing and ebonics analysis. Under mounting pressure from Big Brother's control over the Internet, the Kiwis work around the clock. Inspector @AnOminous instructs the Kiwis to intensify their search and to check the records of recently released psychiatric patients, focusing on any with a history of violence against children. They stage frequent raids to question known criminals, disrupting underworld business so badly that 4chan calls a meeting of the Internet's crime lords. They decide to organize their own manhunt, using weens to watch the children. Meanwhile, the Kiwis search @Roasted's rented rooms, find evidence that he wrote the letter there, and lie in wait to arrest him.

@Roasted sees a young girl in the reflection of a shop window and begins to follow her, but stops when the girl meets her mother. He encounters another girl and befriends her, but the blind vendor recognizes his whistling. The blind man tells one of his Kiwi friends, who tails the killer with assistance from other weens he alerts along the way. Afraid that @Roasted will get away, the Kiwi chalks a large L (for Lolicon) on his palm, pretends to trip, and bumps into @Roasted, marking the back of his overcoat.

Once @Roasted realizes that the Kiwis are following him, he hides inside a large office building just before the workers leave for the evening. The weens call 4chan, who arrives at the building with a team of other criminals. They capture and torture one of the watchmen for information and, after capturing the other two, search the building and catch @Roasted in the attic. When one of the watchmen trips the silent alarm, the criminals and weens narrowly escape with their prisoner before the Kiwis arrive. One of the weens is left behind in the confusion and captured by the Kiwis; @AnOminous tricks him into admitting that the gang only broke into the building to find @Roasted and revealing where he will be taken.

The weens and criminals drag @Roasted to an abandoned distillery to face a kangaroo court. He finds a large, silent crowd awaiting him. @Roasted is given a "lawyer", who gamely argues in his defense but fails to win any sympathy from the improvised "jury". @Roasted delivers an impassioned monologue, saying that he cannot control his sexual urges, while the other criminals and weens present break the law by choice, and further questioning why they as criminals and weens believe they have any right to judge him by stating: "What right have you to speak? Criminals! Weens! Perhaps you're even proud of yourselves! Proud of being able to crack into safes, or troll the troons, or cheat at cards. All of which, it seems to me, you could just as easily give up if you'd learned something useful, or if you had jobs, or if you weren't such lazy pigs. I can't help myself! I have no control over this evil thing that's inside me - the fire, the voices, the torment!" @Roasted pleads to be handed over to the Kiwis, asking: "Who knows what it's like to be me?" His "lawyer" points out that the presiding "judge" is wanted on three counts of hate crimes posting Pepes on the Internet, and that it is unjust to execute an insane man. Just as the enraged mob is about to kill @Roasted, the Kiwis arrive to arrest both him and the criminals and weens.

As a panel of judges prepares to deliver a verdict at @Roasted's real trial, the mothers of three of his victims weep in the gallery. Elsie's mother says that no sentence will bring the dead children back, and that "One has to keep closer watch over the children." The screen fades to black as she adds, "All of you."

 

[Y2K Baby]

@CanofSoda is an awkward, lonely young SODA, who suffered from a rough childhood due to his lazy SODA-ESQUE ATTITUDE. He has very few social interactions, his only "true friend" being a glass-encased doll named @Totem Sanic made by his mother and given to him for his birthday with the adage "If you can't find a friend, make one." @CanofSoda works at a veterinary hospital, assisting with surgeries. His optometrist fixes @CanofSoda's lazy SODA-ESQUE ATTITUDE, first with glasses, then with contact lens. @CanofSoda becomes friends with @ToroidalBoat, a local mechanic. He has a fixation on his hands, which he considers to be the most attractive part of him, and they start dating. @CanofSoda 's lesbian colleague @Kiwi Jeff begins to flirt with @CanofSoda . One day, @CanofSoda remarks that @Kiwi Jeff has a beautiful neck. They become friends and @Kiwi Jeff gives his pet cat @Feline Darkmage to @CanofSoda .

@CanofSoda invites @ToroidalBoat to her apartment and he shows him a film he made for his university titled Jack and Jill brap. jajajajaja. The film reveals a story of two young lovers who go on a picnic and end up eating each other. @CanofSoda becomes aroused by the cannibalism in the film. During an intense make-out session, he bites @ToroidalBoat on the lip and it bleeds. Disturbed by his strange behavior, @ToroidalBoat abruptly leaves. @CanofSoda shouts at @totem sanic and shoves him in the cupboard. He begins volunteering at a school for blind children. He gives in to @Kiwi Jeff 's wishes and starts a short affair. @ToroidalBoat stops calling him and @CanofSoda overhears him say that he's glad he could get rid of him. Heartbroken, he visits @Kiwi Jeff , and finds him with another boy named @Rat Speaker. When even @Feline Darkmage refuses to come near him, @CanofSoda becomes enraged and kills @Feline Darkmage . He becomes delusional and believes that @totem sanic is talking to him.

@CanofSoda takes @totem sanic to school and tells the blind children that @totem sanic is his best friend. The children struggle to take the doll out of the glass case, and the case shatters. @CanofSoda and the children are cut by the broken glass. Scooping up the ruined doll, @CanofSoda returns home devastated. The following day, he meets a punk boy named @A Hot Pizza. He asks him if he wants to get some candy with him and he accepts. @CanofSoda doesn't like him, but likes the tattoo on his arm. At his house, @A Hot Pizza finds the cat's corpse and calls @CanofSoda a freak; he stabs him in the head.

On Halloween night, @CanofSoda dresses in a homemade costume resembling @totem sanic and goes to @Kiwi Jeff's house. He slits @Kiwi Jeff's throat. When @Rat Speaker arrives, @CanofSoda admires his legs and stabs @Rat Speaker. Next, he kills @ToroidalBoat and his new boyfriend, @Dink Smallwood At home, he designs his "new friend", @Y2K Baby (an anagram of his own name), a life-sized patchwork doll made from @A Hot Pizza's arms, @Kiwi Jeff''s neck, @ToroidalBoat's hands, @Rat Speaker's legs, and @Dink Smallwood's ears. She uses @Feline Darkmage's fur for the hair. The head and torso are stuffed fabric stitched together. @CanofSoda realizes that @Y2K Baby has no eyes and can't "see" him, so he gouges out his lazy SODA-ESQUE GENETICS, fatally injuring himself. Crying in pain and bleeding, he puts his eye on @Y2K Baby's head and begs the doll to look at him.. He collapses dead on the bed beside the doll and caresses it. His creation comes to life and brushes his face affectionately with @ToroidalBoat's hands. Very nice.

 

[Y2K Baby]

Somebody should do the Holy Mountain with @The Fool, lol.

 

[Somar]

@ToroidalBoat is an Kiwi that lives in Kiwi Farms, a digital city inside the computer of his user @scorptatious. He is the son of two meh kiwis named @Ntwadumela and @Cosmos, and is able to make multiple expressions despite his parents' upbringing. His parents are hesitant of him going to work, but @ToroidalBoat insists so that he can feel useful. Upon receiving a Private message from his crush @bearycool, @scorptatious decides to send her an message back. When @ToroidalBoat is selected, he panics, makes a autistic Message, and wrecks the message center. @ToroidalBoat is called in by @Null, a mod kiwi and leader of the Farms, who concludes that @ToroidalBoat is a "malfunction" and therefore must be deleted. @ToroidalBoat is chased by bots, but is rescued by @Dink Smallwood, a once popular kiwi who has since lost his fame due to anime being a mistake. He tells @ToroidalBoat that he can be fixed if they find a hacker, and @Dink Smallwood accompanies him so that he can reclaim his fame.

@Null sends more bots to look for @ToroidalBoat when he finds out that he has left the farms, as his actions have caused @scorptatious to think that his account needs to be fixed. @ToroidalBoat and @Dink Smallwood come to a porn site where they meet the hacker kiwi @Uncanny Valley, who wants to reach Dropbox so that she can live in the cloud. The trio is attacked by @Null's bots, but manage to escape into the site Tumblr. @Uncanny Valley reveals that @ToroidalBoat can be fixed in the cloud, and the group goes off into the Reddit website. While there, @Uncanny Valley is revealed to be a princess kiwi who fled home after tiring of being stereotyped. They are once again attacked by bots, and their actions cause @scorptatious to block reddit. @ToroidalBoat and @Uncanny Valley escape, but @Dink Smallwood is taken along with the site and ends up in the trash.

@Ntwadumela and @Cosmos go searching for @ToroidalBoat and have a very lethargic argument. They make up in 4chan when @Ntwadumela reveals that he, too, is a malfunction, explaining @ToroidalBoat's behavior. While traveling through tv tropes, @Uncanny Valley admits that she likes @ToroidalBoat just the way he is, and that he should not be ashamed of his malfunction. They make it to the trash and rescue @Dink Smallwood, but are soon attacked by an upgraded bot. They evade it and enter Dropbox, where they encounter a firewall. The gang get past it with a password being @bearycool's name and make it to the cloud, where @Uncanny Valley prepares to reprogram @ToroidalBoat. @ToroidalBoat admits his feelings for @Uncanny Valley, but she wishes to stick to her plan of venturing into the cloud, unintentionally causing @ToroidalBoat to revert to his apathetic programming out of heartbreak. The upgraded bot takes @ToroidalBoat, and @Dink Smallwood and @Uncanny Valley race after them on a Twitterbird summoned by @Uncanny Valley.

As @Null prepares to delete @ToroidalBoat, @Ntwadumela and @Cosmos arrive and are also threatened. @Uncanny Valley and @Dink Smallwood arrive and disable the bot, which falls on top of @Null. @scorptatious has since taken his computer to the store and asks to have his computer erased to fix the problem. Out of desperation, @ToroidalBoat prepares to have himself sent to @bearycool's messages, making numerous faces to express himself. Realizing that @bearycool received a message from him, @scorptatious stops his computer from getting erased, saving the kiwi and finally getting to speak with @bearycool. @ToroidalBoat accepts himself for who he is and is celebrated by all of the kiwis.

In a mid-credits scene, @Null has been relegated to the "loser lounge" with the other forgotten and unused mods for his crimes, wearing numerous braces due to his teeth being cracked by the bot, and playing and losing a game of Go Fish.

 

[Kiwi Jeff]

@CanofSoda is an awkward, lonely young SODA, who suffered from a rough childhood due to his lazy SODA-ESQUE ATTITUDE. He has very few social interactions, his only "true friend" being a glass-encased doll named @Totem Sanic made by his mother and given to him for his birthday with the adage "If you can't find a friend, make one." @CanofSoda works at a veterinary hospital, assisting with surgeries. His optometrist fixes @CanofSoda's lazy SODA-ESQUE ATTITUDE, first with glasses, then with contact lens. @CanofSoda becomes friends with @ToroidalBoat, a local mechanic. He has a fixation on his hands, which he considers to be the most attractive part of him, and they start dating. @CanofSoda 's lesbian colleague @Kiwi Jeff begins to flirt with @CanofSoda . One day, @CanofSoda remarks that @Kiwi Jeff has a beautiful neck. They become friends and @Kiwi Jeff gives his pet cat @Feline Darkmage to @CanofSoda .

@CanofSoda invites @ToroidalBoat to her apartment and he shows him a film he made for his university titled Jack and Jill brap. jajajajaja. The film reveals a story of two young lovers who go on a picnic and end up eating each other. @CanofSoda becomes aroused by the cannibalism in the film. During an intense make-out session, he bites @ToroidalBoat on the lip and it bleeds. Disturbed by his strange behavior, @ToroidalBoat abruptly leaves. @CanofSoda shouts at @totem sanic and shoves him in the cupboard. He begins volunteering at a school for blind children. He gives in to @Kiwi Jeff 's wishes and starts a short affair. @ToroidalBoat stops calling him and @CanofSoda overhears him say that he's glad he could get rid of him. Heartbroken, he visits @Kiwi Jeff , and finds him with another boy named @Rat Speaker. When even @Feline Darkmage refuses to come near him, @CanofSoda becomes enraged and kills @Feline Darkmage . He becomes delusional and believes that @totem sanic is talking to him.

@CanofSoda takes @totem sanic to school and tells the blind children that @totem sanic is his best friend. The children struggle to take the doll out of the glass case, and the case shatters. @CanofSoda and the children are cut by the broken glass. Scooping up the ruined doll, @CanofSoda returns home devastated. The following day, he meets a punk boy named @A Hot Pizza. He asks him if he wants to get some candy with him and he accepts. @CanofSoda doesn't like him, but likes the tattoo on his arm. At his house, @A Hot Pizza finds the cat's corpse and calls @CanofSoda a freak; he stabs him in the head.

On Halloween night, @CanofSoda dresses in a homemade costume resembling @totem sanic and goes to @Kiwi Jeff's house. He slits @Kiwi Jeff's throat. When @Rat Speaker arrives, @CanofSoda admires his legs and stabs @Rat Speaker. Next, he kills @ToroidalBoat and his new boyfriend, @Dink Smallwood At home, he designs his "new friend", @Y2K Baby (an anagram of his own name), a life-sized patchwork doll made from @A Hot Pizza's arms, @Kiwi Jeff''s neck, @ToroidalBoat's hands, @Rat Speaker's legs, and @Dink Smallwood's ears. She uses @Feline Darkmage's fur for the hair. The head and torso are stuffed fabric stitched together. @CanofSoda realizes that @Y2K Baby has no eyes and can't "see" him, so he gouges out his lazy SODA-ESQUE GENETICS, fatally injuring himself. Crying in pain and bleeding, he puts his eye on @Y2K Baby's head and begs the doll to look at him.. He collapses dead on the bed beside the doll and caresses it. His creation comes to life and brushes his face affectionately with @ToroidalBoat's hands. Very nice.

What movie

 

[Y2K Baby]

@ToroidalBoat is an Kiwi that lives in Kiwi Farms, a digital city inside the phone of his user @scorptatious. He is the son of two meh kiwis named @Ntwadumela and @Cosmos, and is able to make multiple expressions despite his parents' upbringing. His parents are hesitant of him going to work, but @ToroidalBoat insists so that he can feel useful. Upon receiving a Private message from his crush @bearycool, @scorptatious decides to send her an message back. When @ToroidalBoat is selected, he panics, makes a autistic Message, and wrecks the message center. @ToroidalBoat is called in by @Null, a mod kiwi and leader of the Farms, who concludes that @ToroidalBoat is a "malfunction" and therefore must be deleted. @ToroidalBoat is chased by bots, but is rescued by @Dink Smallwood, a once popular kiwi who has since lost his fame due to anime being a mistake. He tells @ToroidalBoat that he can be fixed if they find a hacker, and @Dink Smallwood accompanies him so that he can reclaim his fame.

@Null sends more bots to look for @ToroidalBoat when he finds out that he has left the farms, as his actions have caused @scorptatious to think that his account needs to be fixed. @ToroidalBoatand @Dink Smallwood come to a porn site where they meet the hacker kiwi @Uncanny Valley, who wants to reach Dropbox so that she can live in the cloud. The trio is attacked by @Null's bots, but manage to escape into the site Tumblr. @Uncanny Valley reveals that @ToroidalBoat can be fixed in the cloud, and the group goes off into the Reddit website. While there, @Uncanny Valley is revealed to be a princess kiwi who fled home after tiring of being stereotyped. They are once again attacked by bots, and their actions cause @scorptatious to block reddit. @ToroidalBoat and @Uncanny Valley escape, but @Dink Smallwood is taken along with the site and ends up in the trash.

@Ntwadumela and @Cosmos go searching for @ToroidalBoat and have a very lethargic argument. They make up in 4chan when @Ntwadumela reveals that he, too, is a malfunction, explaining @ToroidalBoat's behavior. While traveling through tv tropes, @Uncanny Valley admits that she likes @ToroidalBoat just the way he is, and that he should not be ashamed of his malfunction. They make it to the trash and rescue @Dink Smallwood, but are soon attacked by an upgraded bot. They evade it and enter Dropbox, where they encounter a firewall. The gang get past it with a password being @bearycool's name and make it to the cloud, where @Uncanny Valley prepares to reprogram @ToroidalBoat. @ToroidalBoat admits his feelings for @Uncanny Valley, but she wishes to stick to her plan of venturing into the cloud, unintentionally causing @ToroidalBoat to revert to his apathetic programming out of heartbreak. The upgraded bot takes @ToroidalBoat, and @Dink Smallwood and @Uncanny Valley race after them on a Twitterbird summoned by @Uncanny Valley.

As @Null prepares to delete @ToroidalBoat, @Ntwadumela and @Cosmos arrive and are also threatened. @Uncanny Valley and @Dink Smallwood arrive and disable the bot, which falls on top of @Null. @scorptatious has since taken his phone to the store and asks to have his computer erased to fix the problem. Out of desperation, @ToroidalBoat prepares to have himself sent to @bearycool's messages, making numerous faces to express himself. Realizing that @bearycool received a message from him, @scorptatious stops his computer from getting erased, saving the kiwi and finally getting to speak with @bearycool. @ToroidalBoat accepts himself for who he is and is celebrated by all of the kiwis.

In a mid-credits scene, @Null has been relegated to the "loser lounge" with the other forgotten and unused mods for his crimes, wearing numerous braces due to his teeth being cracked by the bot, and playing and losing a game of Go Fish.

Lol, you deleted this before since you messed up all the @'s.

 

[Y2K Baby]

What movie

GUESS. WHY YOU ASK.

 

[Kiwi Jeff]

GUESS. WHY YOU ASK.

Because I'm dumb

 

[Y2K Baby]

Because I'm dumb

May.

 

[Somar]

Lol, you deleted this before since you messed up all the @'s.

Prove it, or I'll have @A Hot Pizza bully you for lying.

 

[Y2K Baby]

Prove it, or I'll have @A Hot Pizza bully you for lying.

Stinky stinky dumbo tbh.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

It features @A Hot Pizza, @Y2K Baby, @Kiwi Jeff, and @Somari1996, walking around. @Y2K Baby is walking backwards as she turns around, and @Kiwi Jeff's coat tails are flying as he also is turning.

Spoiler: sauce

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roundhay_Garden_Scene

 

[Y2K Baby]

It features @A Hot Pizza, @Y2K Baby, @Kiwi Jeff, and @Somari1996, walking around. @Y2K Baby is walking backwards as she turns around, and @Kiwi Jeff's coat tails are flying as he also is turning.

Spoiler: sauce

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roundhay_Garden_Scene

I fucking died.

 

[A Hot Potato]

Prove it, or I'll have @A Hot Pizza bully you for lying.

Stinky stinky dumbo tbh.

YOU DARE FUCK WITH MY WAIFU?


WHEN YOU WAKE UP, I WILL END YOU!

 

[c-no]

At a video-game arcade in 1982 with his friend @KidKitty , 13-year-old @Jaimas discovers he can master the games by spotting patterns. Participating in a video-game championship, he loses in a match with obnoxious arcade player @Agent York in Donkey Kong. A videocassette with footage of the event is included in a time capsule that is launched into space.

33 years later, Jaimas has become an installer of home-theater systems while Kidkitty is the President of the United States. In Guam, a U.S. military base is attacked by UFOs of Galaga that turn pieces of the base into small glowing cubes and one of the soldiers is abducted.

While working at the home of divorcée @Meowthkip and her son @Broseph Stalin , Jaimas is summoned to the White House. To his surprise, he finds Meowthkip is also headed there as a lieutenant colonel. Upon seeing the video footage and meeting with @c-no, a friend he made at the video game tournament, Jaimas determines the aliens have found the videocassette images to be a declaration of war and are attacking with a spacecraft resembling those of their classic video games. This is affirmed when the aliens interrupt a television broadcast, challenging Earth to a battle where if the aliens win three rounds, they will conquer the Earth. Jaimas and Kidkitty are unable to stop one of the attacks as Arkanoid paddles sling balls of light to destroy the Taj Mahal, and another person is abducted.

Jaimas and c-no train Navy SEALs to play the old games. Meowthkip develops light cannons that are effective against the aliens. In London, the aliens attack in the form of the video game Centipede, but as the soldiers are unable to beat them (as they forgot to shoot at the heads), Jaimas and c-no step in and shoot them down. Following the victory, the aliens send congratulations and a "trophy" in the form of the dog from Duck Hunt to an old woman (who appeared earlier at the London attack).

Meowthkip and Kidkitty retrieve @Judge Holden , who had been serving a prison sentence for fraud. In New York City, the team discovers it must participate as the ghosts against Pac-Man. Toru Iwatani, the creator of Pac-Man, flees after his hand is bitten off by him. Using Mini Cooper cars, Jaimas, c-no, and Judge Holden overcome the task, but Meowthkip notices that something about Judge Holden is off, as he moved at supersonic speeds around the board. They win Q*Bert as a trophy, but the aliens (as Hall & Oates) later declare that someone cheated and the contest for the planet has been forfeited. Broseph Stalin discovers Eddie used a speed cheat, thus revealing that he is the one that cheated. When the aliens' mother ship suddenly appears, Judge Holden flees from it, but Broseph Stalin is abducted by the aliens.

As revenge for Earth cheating, the aliens launch a massive attack using characters from all sorts of classic video games on Washington, D.C. Kidtkitty joins the team, while c-no stays to fight. An alien takes the form of Lady Lisa, a character on whom c-no had a crush since childhood. c-no persuades Lady Lisa to choose love, and she sides with the humans; Judge Holden, wishing to make amends, returns to fight as well. Jaimas, Meowthkip, and Kidkitty are summoned to the mother ship where they face the alien leader who takes the form of Donkey Kong on the game's starting level with the aliens' captives at the top. As the group dodges barrels and fireballs, Jaimas feels depressed and loses hope, until Broseph Stalin reveals to him that Judge Holden was cheating, restoring his confidence, and Jaimas eventually throws a hammer to defeat Donkey Kong. The aliens' characters then self-destruct.

The team is hailed as heroes and a peace agreement is reached with the aliens. Judge Holden apologizes to Jaimas for cheating in his life. Although c-no is saddened that Lady Lisa is gone, Q*Bert transforms its likeness to Lady Lisa. Jaimas and Meowthkip become a couple, while Judge Holden gets to meet Serena Williams and Martha Stewart. A year later, Lady Lisa and c-no are married and have Q*Bert children.


*I simply chose some random kiwis and used myself because I don't know anyone else to use. Also, I apparently am creepy enough to fuck Q*Bert and have children with it.

 

[Meowthkip]

Also, I apparently am creepy enough to fuck Q*Bert and have children with it.

Who could blame you? Look at that mouth.

Spoiler: This hole was made for your dick

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Being married to @Alec Benson Leary and having the pants in the relationship to have him apologize to you. Truly this is perfect.

How dare you. Not only have I never apologized to anyone, but pants are not allowed in my house.