J.K. Rowling needs to stop messing with Harry Potter - A general STFU J.K. Rowling MegaThread <3

While we're on the subject of Snape: did you know that Rowling based him off her asshole high school chemistry teacher? She made it super obvious and people bothered him in real life about it.


His family and friends, however, saw the resemblance at once, and in 2000 a reporter showed up at Rose Cottage, having heard the rumour that John might have been the original model for Snape. "Such was my conviction", he said, "that Snape carried the persona of this guy that I ignored the long black hair etc and was taken aback when Louise Hancock turned up and said 'You’re Professor Snape, aren’t you?' I took her to Shirley and complained bitterly, but all I got for that was 'Of course you are, but I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t like it!'" In an interview some years later, he added that "She'd been laughing that this crotchety old bugger in these books was the man she was married to."

A series of articles appeared in the British press from July 2000 onwards, identifying John as Snape. These reports made it clear that he was unhappy about being identified with what he still saw as an essentially unpleasant and hated character. He had no qualms about people saying things about him which he knew to be true, even if they were unflattering, and would just say "I don't mind!", and he was equally realistic about other people: he could acknowledge the failings of friends and colleagues with beady-eyed objectivity, and yet not love them any less. But he was very upset and stressed by anything he felt to be false accusation or by the suggestion that he might have been a bad teacher, and his distress at learning that he was the main inspiration for Snape was apparent in some of these articles.

Indeed, he would later say to me that at the time, circa 2002, "it wasn't much fun being the Snape prototype - some people were very nasty about it, as he was obviously regarded as a bad guy by most readers." He had absorbed the idea of Snape as a horrible person, but even that early he was introduced to the idea of Severus as a means of immortality, when he went into hospital for a minor operation and the Irish theatre sister greated him as "Professor"
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And how long until Rowling tells us that during Snape's worst memory the marauders not only stripped him naked, they also took turns diddling his butthole? You know it's coming. Snaperape is definitely a thing.
 
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madethistocomment said:
Also, didn't Snape use Sectumsempra to slash James open in one of the memories in the memory sieve? He nearly killed the him, too, and I'm fairly certain he didn't apologize for it.

Neither incident of almost-killing is okay in the slightest, but it's not like Snape was a totally innocent victim. He did nasty shit to James, too.
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Oh come on almost getting killed is like, half the fucking classes there.
 
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Fangsofjeff said:
While we're on the subject of Snape: did you know that Rowling based him off her asshole high school chemistry teacher? She made it super obvious and people bothered him in real life about it.





And how long until Rowling tells us that during Snape's worst memory the marauders not only stripped him naked, they also took turns diddling his butthole? You know it's coming. Snaperape is definitely a thing.
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I remember this poor bastard.

I also remember reading that he was the one who got Rowling’s mother her job at the school.

By all accounts the chem teacher was reported to have been a fair man who took his job seriously.

Some of the fan buzz around entailed wondering why JK Rowling would paint such an awful picture of a guy who seemed to have treated her well enough as a student.

This alternated with squeeing about having found the real life Snape and his good looks.
The guy didn’t seem to age very much.
 
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I don't have any proof on me, but incidentally, I suspect Hermione is Rowling's self-insert. Rowling outright states she is a caricature of herself when she was 11.


And the fact that she is the most brilliant witch her generation is suspicious. Though, unlike twilight's Bella Swann, Hermione is spared of being a Mary Sue self insert based on the fact that Hermione has actual flaws, and the focus is on Harry.
 
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I'm starting to wonder if Rowling just didn't have most if not all of the potter series ghost written for her. Her other works, namely the crime ones, are so outlandishly childish and basic in terms of narrative structure, it's almost a friggin' wonder she even struck gold with harry potter.

Now that the [alleged] ghost writer is gone, she's going back and doing all the stuff she wanted but they insisted wouldn't fly.
 
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Pixy Misa said:
And the fact that she is the most brilliant witch her generation is suspicious. Though, unlike twilight's Bella Swann, Hermione is spared of being a Mary Sue self insert based on the fact that Hermione has actual flaws, and the focus is on Harry.
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The most telling fact that shows Hermione is based on Rowling is that most people can't stand her.
 
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Kurosaki Ichigo said:
Did you guys know that Rowling wrote herself into the series by way of extra material? https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/J._K._Rowling_(in-universe)
Which makes no sense in universe of course, the few ways a Muggle would know about the world without being obliviated would be by being an important figure (Prime Minister) or happen to have married a magical person.
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Wait a sec, I thought Hermione was the one who translated the Bard's tales and allowed Rowling to publish it? Did she pull a Lockhart? (Stupid as it sounds, Rowling I guess thought she was clever enough to write a book and market it as a "lost work" that was found, translated, and posthumously published. Cressida Cowell, she is not.)
 
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Kari Kamiya said:
Wait a sec, I thought Hermione was the one who translated the Bard's tales and allowed Rowling to publish it? Did she pull a Lockhart? (Stupid as it sounds, Rowling I guess thought she was clever enough to write a book and market it as a "lost work" that was found, translated, and posthumously published. Cressida Cowell, she is not.)
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No, Hermione is still credited as a translator. Still, its pretty self indulgent to write yourself into your own series, especially if it doesn’t make a lick of sense in universe
 
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Kurosaki Ichigo said:
No, Hermione is still credited as a translator. Still, its pretty self indulgent to write yourself into your own series, especially if it doesn’t make a lick of sense in universe
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Came off as a poor imitation of what Stephen King did with his Dark Tower series, except King at least had the excuse of writing a crossover story where multiple realities were turning into silly putty, so he could get away with that without the bullshit meter spiking too far into the red.
 
DanteAlighieri said:
She has a husband?
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Yep. She had two. Husband number one whom she left after he kicked her and their baby out of his house:
Jorge Arantes
702431


Husband number two:
Neil Murray
702432
 
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DanteAlighieri said:
I was mostly meming.

Holy shit #1 looks like a Chad and #2 looks like a Virgin. (At least above the kilt.)

I can't be the only one seeing it.
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They both look like loser virgins to me, but that's a bad picture of the first one.

TheImportantFart said:
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For fuck's sake, Rowling. I supported her admitting that putting Ron and Hermione together was a mistake because they were such polar opposites by the end that it was a completely autistic pairing, but all of this other garbage is ridiculous. No one cares if Dumbledore was gay, and we know Harry and Hermione are white because you drew them that way before the movies even came about. Stop trying to retroactively change things for SJW points, you hag.
 
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I vividly remember from my potterhead days (don't judge me) that JKR did say Hermione was her own voice in the story, as in, whenever she told Harry something, it was what Jo would tell him herself. Ditto for Dumbledore. She's more Author Avatar than Mary Sue (except for Hermione in the movies, who is totally Mary Sue).
 
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