Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Aaway]

jack again says paprika has no flavor. how fucked up are this guy's taste buds?

his taste buds have been destroyed from years of eating nothing but burgers, bbq, bacon, and fries

 

[stupidpieceofshit]

jack again says paprika has no flavor. how fucked up are this guy's taste buds?

I don't know if its shitty/old Paprika or something, but I know plenty of people who say that/think paprika is only used for color.
Honestly I never have gotten "good" paprika and outside of smoked paprika I at best get a slight bitter like taste, again I don't know if its because I only have had access to shitty and/or old paprika or if my tastebuds are fucked but it seems to be some what common of a view.

 

[JackIsBlack]

So many awkward moments in this cookie video. She looks like she is being held hostage. Also what are those weird glances. at 7:00 and 7:31
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I truly wonder what the fuck her parents think of all this going on in their daughter’s life. Guess they don’t care much about her.. I would be an overprotective dad no doubt.

 

[Neko GF]

If Jr. continues to act like his dad to people who mock him for his dad or trying to make this his job, then yeah it makes sense.

He's starting to become a cow like his dad based on his e-presence, but the criticality point hasn't happened yet since for now he is still smart enough to know you have to have gainful employment and music is not a career to rely on for him.

Oh and I think the reason we aren't talking about Jack is because no one has posted his newest culinary atrocity:

Archive (480p):

 

[AnOminous]

As for what I'm looking at, yeah this is going to taste like shit due to the heavy presence of bitters and a sweetener that leaves an aftertaste and in good sized doses can give you the shits.

They aren't even good bitters. Instant coffee has a shitty chemical taste to it, and the actual bitterness of the compounds in the coffee that would add flavor to it are overwhelmed by the chemical taste. (There might be an exception for MRE-style Coffee Instant Type 2, which is better than instant coffee should be.)

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Discussion of Jack and Tammy junior is boring and lame. Jack "Two Stroke" Scalfani is the lolcow here, not his son and daughter in-law. He provides enough content to mock, who cares about the kids?

We make fun of everything Jack creates, terrible food, shitty videos, dumbass kids. It's all content by Jack.

 

[A Duck Selling Lemonade]

 

[AnonymousThrowLala]

Just a few initial notes -
- No profile by sanford promo or weight loss update. Could be another old episode that was shelved.
- A recipe that’s relatively healthy for once. No cheese or sour cream or anything like that. It’s amusing that the “”healthier”” recipes that have popped up recently are likely older and predate the diet, yet the dishes after the diet started have been unhealthy abominations.
- Jack’s weird yellow garlic cloves really freaks me out for some reason.
- Jack uses instant coffee for a rub instead of regular coffee, which seems weird.
- Jack couldn’t find a coffee flavored balsamic vinegar. What? Why would you want that, and why does it exist?
- More weird, nasty brown sugar substitute.
- It looks burned, but Jack can’t light and set his camera settings properly, so who knows.
- Jack makes a passing reference to his eating plan, so maybe this is actually new. I wonder if Sanford told him to fuck off.
- Don’t lick your fingers on camera you fucking slob.
- “The meat is juicin’ in my mouth.” - Jack in the video and also Tammy on a “women’s retreat.”
- More diet references at the end. No mention of Sanford. I think it’s a new video.
- Jack claims more weight has been lost; still looks as fat as ever.

Pretty much a snooze fest. The multiple references to the diet, no “sponsor”, and lack of ANY mention of Sanford makes me think he got a cease and desist.

Someone here mentioned emailing Sanford for confirmation that he's sponsored. Maybe it lit a fire under their ass to tell him to knock it off.

 

[Aaway]

Someone here mentioned emailing Sanford for confirmation that he's sponsored. Maybe it lit a fire under their ass to tell him to knock it off.

yeah i emailed them last friday or saturday and still haven't heard back

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

jack again says paprika has no flavor. how fucked up are this guy's taste buds?

his taste buds have been destroyed from years of eating nothing but burgers, bbq, bacon, and fries

Isn't losing your taste one of the first signs of the varus?

yeah i emailed them last friday or saturday and still haven't heard back

That was because they were busy writing and mailing (both per e-mail and classic letter) Jack a cease and decist in multiple languages e.g. English and Retard.
The other half of Sanford's staff was most likely either lurking here or did watch Jack's cooking show while laughing their asses off.

 

[rubytintedchix]

“It’s not a dry rub. It’s not a wet rub. It’s kind of a dry wet rub though.”

Clear as mud, thanks Strokey.

EDITED TO ADD: also from the same video...

“I can’t have a lot of meat on my eating plan. I don’t know why. I love meat, but anyway...” I bet I know why.

Two pork tenderloins for just the two of them now (unless this is an older video) and they are both on the same eating plan? Sure Jan. Why make so much if you can’t eat it? At least if you’re going to lie to us, make it somewhat believable.

 

[stets]

Does the "explosive" in the title foretells what's going to happen in the bathroom?

Using explosive in the title makes no sense when considering the actual recipe. He also weirdly overlays the word coffee three times in the thumbail. “Coffee Coffee Coffee” on a picture of....pork. It’s weird.

I think it’s probably Jack’s stroked-out version of clickbait. He’s trying to get people to click on the video, but he doesn’t know how to do it because he’s a brain damaged boomer.

 

[captkrisma]

They aren't even good bitters. Instant coffee has a shitty chemical taste to it, and the actual bitterness of the compounds in the coffee that would add flavor to it are overwhelmed by the chemical taste. (There might be an exception for MRE-style Coffee Instant Type 2, which is better than instant coffee should be.)

Onr part that I question is the use of Death Wish coffee in the first place. Is he trying to deviate from A recipe he stole wholesale from a blog like usual?. Even then Death Wish coffee is NOT espresso, it just has higher caffeine content.

That's why Jack mentions espresso balsamic, because the owner of the blog actually went to a specialty oil store and tasted it.

Jack also fucks this recipie up by combining the oil and vinegar and then painting the meat. It flat out says to combine the spices, rub them over the tenderloin, then drizzle the oil and vinegar over the pork.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

Using explosive in the title makes no sense when considering the actual recipe. He also weirdly overlays the word coffee three times in the thumbail. “Coffee Coffee Coffee” on a picture of....pork. It’s weird.

I think it’s probably Jack’s stroked-out version of clickbait. He’s trying to get people to click on the video, but he doesn’t know how to do it because he’s a brain damaged boomer.

Jack most likely did mean "exclusive" and not "explosive", but his stroke damaged brain...
Alternatively: It was a freudian slip, because Jack already knew what everbody who actually will eat this shit will get and that's three explosive days on the shitter.

 

[Sir Jack Scalfani]

Mushbrain is in full view on the latest Eye to Eye video....entitled....
"Faith in the IN THE workplace"
He has the same typo plastered all over the video.... He really is brain damaged...


I could only get through 5 minutes of it, Jack is particularly obnoxious in this video....really ingratiating himself all over some newcomer to the channel and member of his murder church....

 

[DrunkenDozing]

idk if this is just me being retarded but I can't fucking stand the way he pronounces cumin. he's used it in the past like 3 recipes and every time he says COO-MIN. the correct pronunciation is kyoo·muhn. obviously very nit picky and it doesn't really matter but if your going to consider yourself a cook, I feel like you should know how to properly pronounce the ingredients you are using.

Spoiler: Scatporn.jpg

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Good God it looks like actual turds. Like its predigested literal feces.

Plus didn't the One Armed Wonder blame his first stroke on caffeine? Now here he is jamming coffee on his food. Diet limits his grease intake and bang off he goes overindulging on one of his other vices.

 

[captkrisma]

So...Jack wants you to waste up to $40 ordering espresso balsamic vinegar? Fuck that shit, here's how you make your own infusion. It's very similar to making flavored vodka, so if you know that process you're pretty much good to go.

1. Get some Mason jars and put whole espresso beans in the bottom. Fill up about a 1/4 of the jar.
2. Take balsamic vinegar. Not the super expensive shit, because you're not fucking insane. Heat it up to where its steaming, but not at a boil.
3. Pour the hot vinegar into the jars and wait for it to cool down.
4. Cover the opening of the jar with some plastic wrap and store for a week in a cool, dark, and dry place. Swirl it around at least three times a day.
5. After a week strain the vinegar with some cheesecloth to avoid getting coffee beans fragments.

PS: Don't heat up vodka if you're using this recipe for that, just pour the booze into the jars at room temp.

 

[a dinosaur]

The original recipe called for 3 tablespoons of ground coffee, which would have around ~540mg of caffeine. Jack used what looks like the whole box of Death Wish instant coffee ($14.99) instead, injecting 2,400mg of caffeine into that cursed slurry. Jesus wept.

Also, idiot forgot to add salt. Again.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

jack again says paprika has no flavor. how fucked up are this guy's taste buds?

his taste buds have been destroyed from years of eating nothing but burgers, bbq, bacon, and fries

I wish I could say Jack is the only one who has said that but even when we briefly mourned the loss of Aunt Fee earlier in the month in this topic, I had to note that she said the exact same thing in her sink chicken video.

Maybe boomers lack the gene necessary to taste paprika? I dunno.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

I wish I could say Jack is the only one who has said that but even when we briefly mourned the loss of Aunt Fee earlier in the month in this topic, I had to note that she said the exact same thing in her sink chicken video.

Maybe boomers lack the gene necessary to taste paprika? I dunno.

Strange, I'm a boomer too and I can taste Paprika. Maybe the stuff Jack is using is so old it lost any taste?

The original recipe called for 3 tablespoons of ground coffee, which would have around ~540mg of caffeine. Jack used what looks like the whole box of Death Wish instant coffee ($14.99) instead, injecting 2,400mg of caffeine into that cursed slurry. Jesus wept.

Imagine my utter lack of surprise. I don't even understand why he was using instant coffee to begin with when the recipe says ground coffee. If he did want to use instant coffee why not a cheaper brand?

So...Jack wants you to waste up to $40 ordering espresso balsamic vinegar? Fuck that shit, here's how you make your own infusion. It's very similar to making flavored vodka, so if you know that process you're pretty much good to go.

1. Get some Mason jars and put whole espresso beans in the bottom. Fill up about a 1/4 of the jar.
2. Take balsamic vinegar. Not the super expensive shit, because you're not fucking insane. Heat it up to where its steaming, but not at a boil.
3. Pour the hot vinegar into the jars and wait for it to cool down.
4. Cover the opening of the jar with some plastic wrap and store for a week in a cool, dark, and dry place. Swirl it around at least three times a day.
5. After a week strain the vinegar with some cheesecloth to avoid getting coffee beans fragments.

PS: Don't heat up vodka if you're using this recipe for that, just pour the booze into the jars at room temp.

Why should Strokebrained Jack do these five steps when that lazy sob can just waste 40 of Tammy's dollars? Jack is like the goverment, they're both good at spending other people's money.