No for real, didn't find it. The video appears on page 56ish but I couldn't find the convo.
This guy has it right. The whole "Jake is being forced" was an assumed narrative. Has anybody asked Jake if he was forced into doing things against his will?
Does her approval matter?
You tell us whether her approval matters. Alison posts that she is happy that you have Fran as a gf but no one here buys it.
Jake you do realize that despite what she tells you, Alison fantasizes about killing--or at least seriously physically hurting--you, Fran and the pets. I don't mean this as a joke or as an attempt to wind you up, I mean this is standard BPD polarized thinking when they aren't idealizing their significant other. Sometimes the self-harm is in reaction to feelings of guilt that they may experience when their rage subsides. If I have time I can post excerpts from psychopathology textbooks to substantiate what I am saying.
Also, you appear to be experiencing cognitive dissonance in relation to Alison's BPD and this is being facilitated by both you and Alison repeatedly referring to BPD as a
mental illness as opposed to a
personality disorder. BPD--as its name indicates--is a personality disorder
not a mental illness. A
personality is a stable and pervasive manner of relating to self and others and a stable and pervasive set of behavioral traits. Alison's disorder is at the level of her personality hence it is self-contradictory to on the one hand state that she has BPD and that she also has a good personality--that's not how personality disorders work. If someone has BPD we can safely assert that they have a
bad personality.
When those with BPD appear to be behaving in a pro-social, altruistic or loving manner they are doing so because they expect something in return. This is so fundamental a part of BPD that it is stated in DSM-IV-TR which I can excerpt for you. The illusion of pro-social behavior arises because you are conceptualizing a personality disorder as a mental illness. For the sake of clarification, consider Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)--a mental illness. Even with unipolar depression there are peaks and troughs of dysthymia and at their worst the depressed person may behave selfishly, but when the dysthymia subsides they will return to their affectionate and considerate self. When the depressed person is behaving in a pro-social manner it is a manifestation of a pro-social personality--the depression was obscuring their (typically) normal personality. This isn't the case with BPD, the anti-social behavior is an expression of the disordered personality itself
not some affective disorder which is interfering with the expression of a non-pathological personality.
Contrary to your and Alison's misinformation campaign about BPD there is no positive side to BPD.
Alison and yourself are contributing to public misundertstanding about mental illness and personality disorder which I which you would refrain from doing.
ETA: Because I am feeling pro-social here's the relevant excerpt from DSM-IV-TR (I don't have DSM V but I doubt the BPD entry has changed much).
