James Rolfe / James D. Rolfe / Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) / Rex Viper and Cinemassacre / Screenwave - Now with not much grieving about a 41-year old man still making videos on YouTube. We're the balls on the dick.

[mlanguishi]

I am shocked but not shocked that he relied on volunteers to do the bulk of the visual effects. Not even Troma is that cheap. Troma will at least promise to pay you and then Jew you.

I wonder if he learned not to pay anyone like that from Doug Walker..

 

[Maurice Maine]

Yeah, I remember him doing some celebration years and years ago for some milestone number, and found his official list of "films" he made. I can't find at the moment, but I remember being surprised that he counted even just completely pointless bullshit he filmed as a child on a lark. That's like, less deserving of being called a film than random shitpost clips I've made, like this duology I made to mock Hogan:
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There used to be a lot of odds and ends on cinemassacre.com, like this FAQ page where you can see some of his sperginess: https://web.archive.org/web/20100411053524/http://www.cinemassacre.com/faq/


Anyone wanna hunt around and find that page?

He also had complete lists of his game collections: https://web.archive.org/web/20100411044204/http://www.cinemassacre.com/2007/03/22/game-collection That hub is down, but the lists themselves are still live, like http://www.cinemassacre.com/AVGN/collection/NES.html. I put NES, SNES, and N64 through both archive.md and ghostarchive.org, but there are a lot, so if anyone wants to run through the rest and archive them, please do. They're probably dreadfully out of date, but whatever, archive everything.

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edit: found his official movie list
https://web.archive.org/web/20080225160758/http://www.cinemassacre.com/Home_page/frameset.html

A few examples:

Because that is literally what it is. Also, it's listed as a 1993 film, so he would have been 12-13 at the time.


He put a song to clips of his ornery cat.


It's literally just his homework from that day





Just dig into that list for yourself. Try to find a lower effort film than just footage of his sister & her friends speaking a foreign language, and then he subtitles it. That's film #72, ladies and gentlemen, from the world's luckiest autistic filmmaker, James Duncan Rolfe.

With those two short clips dunking on HHH you're already up there with Martin Scorsese.

 

[urr13 account]

Reading snippets of James's book on the /r/cinemassacretruth subreddit fully confirmed to me that he is on the spectrum and if he hadn't struck it big with AVGN would be working at a gas station right now.

Disagree, there is no way he would be able to hold down a regualr job even part-time. I think he would be living with and being supported by his parents as they grow into old age.

 

[mlanguishi]

Disagree, there is no way he would be able to hold down a regualr job even part-time. I think he would be living with and being supported by his parents as they grow into old age.

Yep, he's a lucky version of spoony.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

Disagree, there is no way he would be able to hold down a regualr job even part-time. I think he would be living with and being supported by his parents as they grow into old age.

I think he could but he would choose not to.James for sure thinks he's above having a normal 9 to 5 job because he's a genius "filmmaker". Despite the fact the only actual movie he ever made is painfully mediocre and even his own fanbase who it was tailor made for think it's just okay.

 

[mlanguishi]

I think he could but he would choose not to.James for sure thinks he's above having a normal 9 to 5 job because he's a genius "filmmaker". Despite the fact the only actual movie he ever made is painfully mediocre and even his own fanbase who it was tailor made for think it's just okay.

Calling the AVGN movie 'mediocre' is so unbelievably kind and generous. I'd personally call it the worst piece of shit I've seen, including most Rifftrax and BOTW, but not as bad as the Walker movies.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Calling the AVGN movie 'mediocre' is so unbelievably kind and generous. I'd personally call it the worst piece of shit I've seen, including most Rifftrax and BOTW, but not as bad as the Walker movies.

Kickassia was a good movie...

Well the movie wasn't good, but it was pretty funny that Spoony raided the fridge of the guy who let them shoot in his house.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

Calling the AVGN movie 'mediocre' is so unbelievably kind and generous. I'd personally call it the worst piece of shit I've seen, including most Rifftrax and BOTW, but not as bad as the Walker movies.

I don't agree. I think as far as low budget films go it very much is just mediocre. It's not one of those offensively bad movies you have to turn off halfway. I think it's worst sin is just being boring and way too long. If I had to give it a numerical rating It'd be a 4 out of 10.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

With those two short clips dunking on HHH you're already up there with Martin Scorsese.

Well think of it, in just 13 seconds of footage, it's telling a relateable story with images, text, and music. We have a likeable protagonist, we have a despicable villain with a defining trait (handing out tophats), we have tragedy (receiving a tophat from the villain), and we have an ambiguous ending (the protagonist has received another tophat--will the misery ever stop?).

What does your average James Rolfe film have in comparison?

Yep, he's a lucky version of spoony.

No, I think James actually has a work ethic, it's just that like many autistic people, he needs someone to help him focus on the actual important things instead of spending hours and hours adjusting the cameras or his VHS collection or thinking we want to hear endless stories about his kids or climbing a mowden or all the times he shit his pants in elementary school. James can be worked with as Mike Matei and even fucking Screenwave prove, Spoony just doesn't give a fuck about anything.

 

[mlanguishi]

James can be worked with as Mike Matei and even fucking Screenwave prove, Spoony just doesn't give a fuck about anything.

I just can't agree with that, not anymore. James hasn't given a shit about anything in a really, really long time besides his kids. Certainly not about his content or 'work'.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

I don't agree. I think as far as low budget films go it very much is just mediocre. It's not one of those offensively bad movies you have to turn off halfway. I think it's worst sin is just being boring and way too long. If I had to give it a numerical rating It'd be a 4 out of 10.

Which is honestly worse than just being flat-out bad - at least really horrible movies can be fun to watch while drunk and snark at. Being just mediocre is the worst kind of movie to watch because there's no redeeming value to it. Not good, but not so-bad-it's-good either. It just exists as an actual thing that happened.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

Which is honestly worse than just being flat-out bad - at least really horrible movies can be fun to watch while drunk and snark at. Being just mediocre is the worst kind of movie to watch because there's no redeeming value to it. Not good, but not so-bad-it's-good either. It just exists as an actual thing that happened.

100%. I can watch a "so bad it's good" movie like The Room with my friends and have a fantastic time. Watching the AVGN movie with friends would be painfully boring and a waste of time. The movie is also 5 minutes short of being 2 hours long so not only is it very dull it's long on top of that. It's the main reason why I've only ever watched it once.

 

[mlanguishi]

100%. I can watch a "so bad it's good" movie like The Room with my friends and have a fantastic time. Watching the AVGN movie with friends would be painfully boring and a waste of time. The movie is also 5 minutes short of being 2 hours long so not only is it very dull it's long on top of that. It's the main reason why I've only ever watched it once.

I think our definitions are a bit different, that' s all. I consider the completely unfunny, too long, condescending early woke-era AGVN movie 'worse' than those 'fun' bad movies so I don't call it mediocre. I hate this thing. 'Mediocre' is more like the Star Wars sequels. I can watch those. 'Bad' to me is something like a Talking Cat. The AVGN movie is in the 'shit' tier that if I ever end up resorting to watching again I'd seriously wonder if I'd gone insane.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Honestly the funniest scene I can remember from the avgn movie is when the avgn fanboys literally were lining up to die for him. It was such a goofy moment, and it sucks no one ever clipped it because the rest of the movie is boring.

 

[Pringles Can]

I don't agree. I think as far as low budget films go it very much is just mediocre. It's not one of those offensively bad movies you have to turn off halfway. I think it's worst sin is just being boring and way too long. If I had to give it a numerical rating It'd be a 4 out of 10.

It's been a long time, but from what I remember it wasn't even mediocre or a B movie at all. I just remember it was boring as all hell. All I remember is that the only people who really liked it were the people autistic enough to buy tickets to see the thing in theaters. Which makes sense as they pretty much are the big fanboys of James. Maybe this weekend I'll watch though it again to see if maybe I am misremembering it, but as I said I just remember the movie being just terrible.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I skimmed through the AVGN movie and sadly there’s no scene where AVGN fans get killed for the Nerd. It was a Mandela effect on my brain. But I’ll say it really feels egotistical for him to rip off Return of the Jedi where the bad guy is like “You’ll do anything for the love of your fans” and shit.

Also god the filmmaking is terrible since it switches between competent filmmaking, what you’d expect from an Internet review, or literally using toys as props and making it obvious (like a bratz doll for the female character being held by the kaiju robot). It’s fine to have stylistic suck but the film isn’t committed to any of it.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

The only person I can think of who wrote a worse autobiography is Evangelist Dr. Robert McKim Sr. of Carrolton, Ohio.

 

[BrunoMattei]

I skimmed through the AVGN movie and sadly there’s no scene where AVGN fans get killed for the Nerd. It was a Mandela effect on my brain. But I’ll say it really feels egotistical for him to rip off Return of the Jedi where the bad guy is like “You’ll do anything for the love of your fans” and shit.

Also god the filmmaking is terrible since it switches between competent filmmaking, what you’d expect from an Internet review, or literally using toys as props and making it obvious (like a bratz doll for the female character being held by the kaiju robot). It’s fine to have stylistic suck but the film isn’t committed to any of it.

A good example of being bad on purpose in a movie:

It's a good gag. It's all about the setup and then the subversion of what you expect. A good use of subversion. The funny thing is that James was capable of doing this joke before:

The gag of tossing around an obvious dummy and then the boxes appear out of nowhere is a good gag. Why it didn't work in the AVGN movie (there's a box gag in that too) is interesting to dissect. Was it bad timing? Did the actors not sell the audience on the joke? Were the use of boxes such a cliche for the AVGN that we all expected it?

There's so many ways you could have done the box gag:

The villains drive through a wall of boxes only for there to be another wall and then another and another before they say "Where the fuck did all of these boxes come from?" Then the camera pulls out and reveals they're surrounded by boxes and have lost James and co.

Or, the villains see the wall of boxes and one remarks "They're just empty anyway! DRIVE!" And then boom, the boxes are filled with bombs or some other bullshit and totals their vehicle.

Or, as the villains plow through the boxes nothing happens. Off camera a guy comes over and laments the loss of his boxes. We keep following him as he approaches his family telling them the boxes are gone and their livelihood is no more. The family hugs the father as they cry. We get a quick montage of the kids being taken away by an orphanage, the wife prostitutes herself and dies of a drug overdose and we cut back to the husband as he blows his brains out off camera. Then smash cut back to James and co. going "I guess we lost them!?"

Or even, you go back to video game bullshit and there's a guy in an ape costume throwing boxes. The villains go "Where'd these boxes come from?" And the ape guy appears and throws a box and/or barrel at their vehicle and totals it.

All of these gags would require the time to pull them off effectively...

 

[demicolon]

We get a quick montage of the kids being taken away by an orphanage, the wife prostitutes herself and dies of a drug overdose

Bruh

Or even, you go back to video game bullshit and there's a guy in an ape costume throwing boxes.

Nintendo is sending a ninja squad to your approximate location. Please stand by.

Anyway, the movie couldn't not suck because it was centered on AVGN while trying to make it "realistic". It was so cringe. If it was something like Gamestop Clerks where James plays an unlikable antisocial weirdo fixated on NES games during 2005 and Mike plays the hoodie guy that shat on Dante, it would have a chance at being good. They could even shoot it in B&W, which is a style James is a master at. Bootsy and Kyle could be Jay & Silent Bob. AVGN could lament I wasn't even supposed to review this shitty game today! Mike could answer gay porn when asked what he's watching on TV.

Then, 5 minutes before closing down the business, AVGN gets robbed at gunpoint and shot by Ryan Schott. The end.

 

[BetterFuckChuck]

https://i.redd.it/drpppochl4431.jpg

From an old 4chan post where someone claims to be a relative and describes it. You can choose to believe it as there is no proof other than that, but seeing how James was described back then and what we have recently learned about him, I believe everything which is written in that post.

Spoiler: The Post

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dudes rock