Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[potato sack]

Why the fuck is he even going to the eu twitchcon? He's in fucking USA. I mean, I guess it would the usual bullshit excuse of "networking" but feels like going all the way to eu is an overkill.

i dont even think he did much there. i havent found a single record of him being seen

 

[McSneaks]

Erm, hacking doesn't have geo-restrictions, plebs, so neither do master hackers. Who else is going to hunt down super evil badhacker routerputers plugged into sofas??? Who's going to warn you about plugging your phone into that wall socket??? Who's going to murder the ferrets??

 

[I mean I'm just saying]

Why the fuck is he even going to the eu twitchcon?

A large part might be hanging out with head janny Khronos who's from the UK. Might even be trying to help kickstart Khronos' streaming career to help make up for lost income after the gravy train derailed.

 

[cigint]

Might even be trying to help kickstart Khronos' streaming career to help make up for lost income

This was my first feeling on the matter as well. However, couldn't he pick someone else from his endless list of sycophants? Seeing as Khronos is mainly remembered as the person who puffed up Maldavius into his falsely grounded legal frenzy, I don't see him having the community goodwill necessary to act as the parachute stream, so to speak.

 

[I mean I'm just saying]

I don't see him having the community goodwill necessary to act as the parachute stream, so to speak.

I don't either, but what I imagine is that Khronos is one of the people most dependent on Jason's success after quitting his old job to be a better head janny and has expressed concern of either the possibility or even current reality of his janny income dwindling, so Jason is trying to do him a solid with "I'll help you network and signal boost your streaming career so you can make a little extra when I'm not streaming".
My guess is that Khronos streaming is not going to go well; I don't see existing viewers of Jason tuning into a diet Jason who hasn't even worked at Blizzard, much less new viewers. Considering his part in the Pvt. Parts incident, Kronos may even provide some funny spergouts of his own in response to being hassled by the chat.

 

[1983 Opel Kadett]

My favourite thing about PS is that there's a clip for everything

Fulltime Khronos
Uploaded: Jan 10, 2025, 2 days before the WoW stuff

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aomOWFFXX_M

 

[ScurvyRat]

My favourite thing about PS is that there's a clip for everything

Fulltime Khronos
Uploaded: Jan 10, 2025, 2 days before the WoW stuff

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aomOWFFXX_M

Aged like fine wine.

mald is now streaming to less than 50% of viewers than when he made that post.
Revenue is down massively, being kept afloat by mald buying subs for his audience.
He's lost approximately 25k followers, lost all collabs with big streamers, and Heartbound still isn't even close to being done.

 

[Aidan]

Aged like fine wine.

mald is now streaming to less than 50% of viewers than when he made that post.
Revenue is down massively, being kept afloat by mald buying subs for his audience.
He's lost approximately 25k followers, lost all collabs with big streamers, and Heartbound still isn't even close to being done.

It's insane to quit a job to be a janny no matter what, especially if you live an ocean away from the guy you janny for. If they were co-located at least it'd be more like general assistant and offer proper networking but they're primarily discord buddies. So when Mald falls off, then what? What does a former janny say they've been up to for all that time? And if they find out his online name, which is trivial, they can find out he lied about being a lawyer. What a retard.

 

[potato sack]

So when Mald falls off, then what? What does a former janny say they've been up to for all that time?

apply knotted rope to neck and kick chair away

 

[RandomTwitterGuy]

Okay, so I have a lot to say.

Some of these quotes go back some months.
I am not a game developer, and I primarily code for industrial applications. I mainly work with C/C++, PLC programming in ST and Ladder, Python, and more.

It's not even a good excuse. What the fuck does "20% faster" even mean? Faster than what? A cache miss is a cache miss, it doesn't matter if it's an array or he's just new'ing every int he has, and something tells me there's no need to access any of the storyline bullshit sequentially (except for (de)serialization, which more or less only happens if you press spacebar accidentally), or frequently enough for any of the lolperformance bullshit to matter. Although who the fuck knows, maybe he's reading a bunch of values every frame to get a sweater color or some shit.

The "designed for you to hack it" is such fucking retarded cope I can't even. Sure, I'm going to randomly change a bunch of unlabeled numbers in a text file and hope something good happens. Is this the Mald h4x0r1 (and I'm guessing coding) tech? Bang your head against a wall until your skull cracks? Even if there was some method to retardation, who the fuck is going to invest probably hundreds of hours in this shitty "game" when even the author himself won't?

Shit like this where he was talking about a giant fuck off array.
What is so dam critical that you need to load everything so dam often that 20% faster is meaningful? Maybe I don't understand GameMaker, and I know you can not do fun memory shenanigans like in C++.

So I thought maybe there was something to it that I was missing, but then there's this.

Well if he doesn't make games I guess technically he won't work with them ever again...

This was an 11 hour stream?
Look I don't know much about this stuff, but it just looks like he's typing in notepad descriptions. I don't think that's how coding works.
It looks like he's making descriptive text for items.
View attachment 7377870

This is YAML, for those unfamiliar with it. You can view it as a means to store data in a specific, uniform manner that is easy for programs to utilize effectively. It facilitates the sharing of configurations between different systems, and it works well with features like hash maps and dictionaries that tend to be fast for programming.

This is all fine. However, GameMaker has built-in support for JSON, which performs the same task as YAML, albeit faster and more challenging to read.

Spoiler: Random JSON I found

IF 20% is that fucking important, why the fuck is he not using JSON that is built into GameMaker and is know to be faster then YAML.
Now, the honest answer is likely "I like YAML and big dumb Array", and that is fine, but there is no reason to make op some retarded "It is 20% more fast, I smart HAXOR!!!" reason.

For me, using Gamemaker is whatever, it's how he presents himself while failing to make progress when he is so quick to talk down to others. Gamemaker works for what he wants to do, he's just lazy and incompetent. He scammed fans and is now making even more money doing something else so Heartbound is just an ego thing at this point but there's no push to finish it because it doesn't materially do anything for him and won't at this point.

A GameMaker game that barely gets updates, what is he doing?

he already did this. i was under the impression that he made it run on the smart fridge, because that's how i heard the story being told.
One example (YouTube) (to be fair, he did show the video after this on stream, but not in the short)
Another example (YouTube)

Jason calling a rectangle-shaped alpha-channel shadow a "fully 2D-raytraced custom lighting engine" is merely dumb and obnoxious, whereas his habit of attaching himself to other people's accomplishments is flatly disgusting and a serious regression. I don't disagree with you on the distastefulness, just on the order of severity.

losing my shit at "fully 2d-raytraced custom lighting engine"

If THIS is what he is wasting his fucking time on, no wonder it is taking fucking ages.
What the fuck is the point in making "SUPER 2D raytracing that a Smart Fridge can run" what value dose it give in your game compared to pre-baking all of it, which would not only be faster, but would likely be better. Dumbass is making a 2D game, use the fact that it is a fucking 2D game to your advantage.

Hey Ferret fucker, the first thing you do in any fucking coding project is not the bells and whistles, but all the RAW fucking shit that needs to be done.

 

[Black Willow Lurker]

IF 20% is that fucking important, why the fuck is he not using JSON that is built into GameMaker and is know to be faster then YAML.

He's not using YAML for ShartBound, it's for """his""" Minecraft """""MMO""""" (that can only support like 20 concurrent players or something), and as far as anyone knows most of the useful work is being done by another dude (and the authors of all the plugins they're using), while Mald is is just copy/pasting some item stats or whatever.

But yes, the whole "20% faster" is completely irrelevant. At best he could've used it as an excuse (a poor one) to explain why his code looks like he's trying to write ASM in a high-level language, but as far as I know he didn't (yet?).

 

[RandomTwitterGuy]

He's not using YAML for ShartBound, it's for """his""" Minecraft """""MMO""""" (that can only support like 20 concurrent players or something), and as far as anyone knows most of the useful work is being done by another dude (and the authors of all the plugins they're using), while Mald is is just copy/pasting some item stats or whatever.

But yes, the whole "20% faster" is completely irrelevant. At best he could've used it as an excuse (a poor one) to explain why his code looks like he's trying to write ASM in a high-level language, but as far as I know he didn't (yet?).

Fair enough about Minecraft. I don't know enough about that to comment on it.

The question is, why would you need 20% faster for loading of states, how badly has he fucked up the system where 20% would be meaningfully.
From my reading in GameMaker, using JSON as your save system, it should be O(n) to load a state..

 

[Aidan]

The question is, why would you need 20% faster for loading of states, how badly has he fucked up the system where 20% would be meaningfully.
From my reading in GameMaker, using JSON as your save system, it should be O(n) to load a state..

You've put more thought into this than he has. His 20% performance boost cope is cope and it's unsubstantiated as far as I know.

 

[cigint]

He's incompetent and didn't know any other way to handle the need for a data structure that can grow from one end as he needs more flags/values to be stored. It's literally as simple as that, no need to pull out the dusty CompSci 101 for this one.

He says he made it "because it's 20% faster" for the same reason he says he made it "because he wants it to be hackable": it's a lie that he thinks makes him sound cool. Whether it's actually faster or not is purely incidental.

 

[RandomTwitterGuy]

You've put more thought into this than he has. His 20% performance boost cope is cope and it's unsubstantiated as far as I know.

He's incompetent and didn't know any other way to handle the need for a data structure that can grow from one end as he needs more flags/values to be stored. It's literally as simple as that, no need to pull out the dusty CompSci 101 for this one.

He says he made it "because it's 20% faster" for the same reason he says he made it "because he wants it to be hackable": it's a lie that he thinks makes him sound cool. Whether it's actually faster or not is purely incidental.

I 100% get that this is him being insecure and trying to cover it up with some meaningless metric because he is the COOL HAXOR GUY with 7 years at Blizzard.
To me, it's this bewildering stupidity that surrounds it all that makes me poke at it.

"I want it to be hackable", yeah because a fucking JSON file in plain text is so fucking hard to HAXOOOR!!!.
It is so fucking amazing to me that if he only had a bit of humility and confidence to say "Fuck it I don't know, or I like it this way" Then he likely would not be on kiwi farms.

His insecurity drives everything; it's impressive.

 

[alogatog]

It is so fucking amazing to me that if he only had a bit of humility and confidence to say "Fuck it I don't know, or I like it this way" Then he likely would not be on kiwi farms.

His insecurity drives everything; it's impressive.

I think it really is fantastic how his largest and most defining trait is ego. Every single one of his traits that he could be shit on for all stem from the fact he is physically incapable of going “fuck my bad I’m not perfect”.
His masturbatory personality just absolutely fucking oozes out of every pore- watching the clips he spams on jewtube is like listening to the teachers pet no matter the topic.
He *HAS* to be the smartest guy in the room. He is *ALWAYS* right. He *MUST* be perfect, and he surround himself with people who make him feel like he is.
I mean, he is perfect. Just as a lolcow, and not much else

 

[PHUCKERPRIME]

lost all collabs with big streamers

Did the kitboga collab get cancelled?

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

Did the kitboga collab get cancelled?

No, it still happened, though I don't think anything noteworthy happened

 

[PHUCKERPRIME]

No, it still happened, though I don't think anything noteworthy happened

Damn, the elite h4xx0r known as Maldavious and Kitboga meeting event was so monumental nobody noticed.

I hope Kit had the worst possible opinion of him after that.

 

[Gutes Zeug 2.0]

Deltarune came out today, maybe it will inspire Mald to work a little bit