Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[Vibe_Guy]

"Which game dev is worse than Mald?"
"Heartbound bad, play X game and here's my doctors dissertation where I present in detail why X game is objectively superior"
While valid questions and assertions, we must not forget that an experts opinion is best sought after when analyzing a topic. Lucky for us, there is a rule of thumb coined by a expert professional programmer...some would even call him the greatest programmer that has ever lived.
Terry A. Davis proposed the following question when it comes to code introspection:
Is Heartbound Niggerlicious? Or is it divine intellect? And do the two further the mission statement?

Niggerlicious: otherwise known as "woo-doo", best described as a combination of aesthetics and user interface design. Rarely is one thing only niggerlicious without divine intellect, as that would make it a non-code piece of art. So CSS is basically the most niggerlicious programming language of all time.

Spoiler: example

KFs portraits aren't in of themselves divine intellect, but divine intellect does allow the inclusion of niggerliciousness. When you see a symbol of both male and female spliced together, you think "Uh-huh, so stinkditch reffers to trannies."66`6666

divine intellect: the core and often invisible part of the experience you intend, can be without niggerliciousness but that would confuse non tech-savvy consumers. For example when you play a video game, the niggerlicious part is the one you control (sprites, animations etc) while divine intellect works behind the scenes to make the niggerliciousness happen (source code). The divine intellect is supposed to help propel the program/game/website to perform it's mission statement.

Spoiler: example

witness the DIVINE INTELLECT OF KF (with some niggerliciousness thrown in)

the mission statement: the main function of your project. What are you hoping to achieve. If you make a program to download youtube videos, but it only cleans your temp folder for some odd reason, then you failed the mission statement.

Spoiler: example

This has been explained to give you food for thought. Do you think Hearbound answers the hardest question in programming well? And what is your interpretation of the hardest question in programming relating to heartbound?

Spoiler: my interpretation

the game is unfinished so this graph may change overtime

 

[1983 Opel Kadett]

Are you telling me this nigger couldn’t figure out text auto-wrapping? Does he have to manually type “\n” every time he needs a new line? It might seem like a small thing but if you’re gonna be writing thousands of lines of dialogue, that wasted time starts adding up fast. Even Toby “switch case” Fox figured that out for his dialogue system.

 

[cigint]

And what is your interpretation of the hardest question in programming relating to heartbound?

Pretty much nothing is niggerlicious when your project is less than 30% done. The hardest question in programming isn't "is this voodoo". It's "this is voodoo, but is this too much voodoo for our purposes?" in other words, are you just working on something superfluous that complicates the project without adding utility. He's not far enough along in development for anything to be superfluous yet.

 

[Vibe_Guy]

Pretty much nothing is niggerlicious when your project is less than 30% done. The hardest question in programming isn't "is this voodoo". It's "this is voodoo, but is this too much voodoo for our purposes?" in other words, are you just working on something superfluous that complicates the project without adding utility. He's not far enough along in development for anything to be superfluous yet.

Well? When will we be able to revisit the hardest question in programming when it comes to heartbound?

 

[ADHD Mate]

View attachment 7305208

What's bizzare are those comments above. They suggests that he have some kine of way of parsing data.
Yet he uses arrays to keep dialogue line by line, instead of idk, even just loading txt file, ideally something more robust.
It just shows lack of foresight and general inexperience.

 

[PHUCKERPRIME]

I still can't get that comment of his about becoming a baker as a plan B out of my head.

"Dude, I'm still waiting on that loaf of bread I paid for last month. Is it coming or not?"
"That loaf is 98% complete, stalker child. If you had tasted it in the first place you'd understand, but you clearly didn't so I'm not explaining myself further. By the way, you're banned from my shop. Clownshoe behavior. Be better. Yeeee."

All of this happening off-camera while streaming in the front desk of his ferret-smelling shop because he still can't stop streaming 12 hours a day.

 

[East_Clintwood]

I still can't get that comment of his about becoming a baker as a plan B out of my head.

"Dude, I'm still waiting on that loaf of bread I paid for last month. Is it coming or not?"
"That loaf is 98% complete, stalker child. If you had tasted it in the first place you'd understand, but you clearly didn't so I'm not explaining myself further. By the way, you're banned from my shop. Clownshoe behavior. Be better. Yeeee."

All of this happening off-camera while streaming in the front desk of his ferret-smelling shop because he still can't stop streaming 12 hours a day.

Look he was going to bake the bread but then he hired 15 circus clowns and set up a shelter to care for geriatric guinea pigs instead and now baking doesn't pay the bills. Insane behaviour to expect him to do things just because he said he'd do them.

 

[SlyVMan]

hes so desperate.

 

[suckfest]

hes so desperate.

The dickriding going on is insane

 

[Roachbound]

So this is his second collab after diremaul with another content creator.(first was codemiko)



Should be good. DrK says it is live(so no prerecorded mald bs).

Alot of DrK fans have brought up how poor his first 2 interviews with Mald were in retrospect to the SKG and LSF drama, most had very little clue to his character beforehand, so it will be interesting to see how DrK holds Mald accountable, per his fanbase request.

 

[Hadniridea]

hes so desperate.
View attachment 7305463View attachment 7305464

Dude had two months... shouldn't he have, idk, made sure all implementation was finalized before today, so that his update could go live in the am after he woke up?

 

[VanClyde]

What a convoluted way of saying he doesn't know how to fix his packages so he's just starting a fresh linux VM

 

[p1138]

hes so desperate.
View attachment 7305463View attachment 7305464

"Game is back to mostly negative from people saying it never gets updated"

First of all, dude went over a year without updating it. Second, there's only been ONE negative review as of May 1st

https://steamcommunity.com/id/infiniteprimus/recommended/567380/

I wanted to give this game a positive review. I really did.

But unfortunately, the long development time alongside the lackluster monthly updates promised makes me hesitant to recommend this game.

Not to mention, it makes no sense for a 2D RPG, story-rich game to have these extremely minimal, barren monthly updates. Playing only part of a chapter, access to only a few new rooms and pieces of dialogue every few months, crossing your fingers that the new update is substantial only for it to be some minor changes to an already unfinished game, simply doesn't make sense.

Just enjoy the demo and only buy this game once it is completely finished, or simply spend your time with another indie game.

From someone with 5 hours on record. It's not an unreasonable statement to have been made. The reality is Mald got himself 7 other negative reviews during the last week of April with most of those reviews having 2-10 hours on record. Even the 3 positive reviews he's received recently, 1 of them wants him to finish the game already and another complains about a lack of localization to German, because for some fucking reason Mald decided Russian was the choice to go with in addition to French, Spanish, Japanese, and Portuguese(and he's whined about problems doing the Russian localization as well).

 

[my penis is on fire]

View attachment 7305208

>As you know, I designed my game to be Hackable
>Why does all the text look like that? Well you see, formatting text is hard, so I wrote my own markup language. All by myself.
>Why not just use BBCode? Well actually, the way I do it is 20% faster than BBCode.
>See, BBCode is from 1998. It's so much easier to write faster code now. I could write a raytracing engine in BBCode, I just wish I had time since I'm running a ferret rescue with 58 ferrets.
>Why not use it for easy customizability, since it's a widely used formatting standard? Listen. The thing about hacking is the first thing you learn is you have to constantly adapt. Just cause I said my game is hackable doesn't mean I'm gonna go easy on you.
>Why is all of the dialogue stored in a single global array?
>Mods, do your thing. Another organized Reddit hate campaign. Clownshoe behavior.
>...
>Heartbound fangames are still banned by the way.

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

IT'S THE FIRST OF MAY JASON

WHERE'S THE UPDATE, JASON?

WHERE IS IT?

View attachment 7302956

IT'S OKAY I'M NOT ANGRY

I JUST

I JUST WANNA KNOW WHERE THE UPDATE IS

JASON

Look at this guy...
Clownose behavior dude.

Everyone knows Jason releases it at the very last second possible of the first day of the month.
stretches
Yep, bannin this dude. Concern troll. Incredible.

 

[potato sack]

update is out after 2 months, somehow on teh 1st of may

maldy is sweating here bois

according to mald that's around, considering the average of 21 days where he works on it, around 63 hours of work
it amounts to bugfixes on linux and steamdeck, and to dialogue for one scene

for context imagine you enter a room in undertale and talk to one npc. this is for whatever the npc says. truly hes writing the manifesto that will shake the very foundations of the earthbound clone zeitgeist

 

[ExsanguinateHorizon]

Mald talking about how he streams to enable his game development as if most indie developers don't have other commitments, especially early on. He talks like it's virtuous that he's chasing money when really he's a greedy, lazy fuck.

They also make a lot of smaller games that usually fail or at least fail to get much traction despite being perfectly enjoyable, or make them to fund the game they actually want to make. This is easier than ever with how powerful and accessible game making tools have become. Make an interesting game and people will clamor at their favorite big name streamers to give it traction, even dogshit meme games like Banban were 'successful' with this method.
Stardew, Lethal Company, REPO, all of them had predecessors that got virtually no attention and made no money, or like Fear and Hunger went unknown for a long while before blowing up.

 

[el gordo]

hes really passing off a hot-fix as a monthly update isn't he

 

[Crescent Fresh]

View attachment 7306149
update is out after 2 months, somehow on teh 1st of may

maldy is sweating here bois

according to mald that's around, considering the average of 21 days where he works on it, around 63 hours of work
it amounts to bugfixes on linux and steamdeck, and to dialogue for one scene

for context imagine you enter a room in undertale and talk to one npc. this is for whatever the npc says. truly hes writing the manifesto that will shake the very foundations of the earthbound clone zeitgeist

IT ISN’T ACTUALLY FINISHED YET?

Mald literally just threw the unfinished update on and said he’ll fix it later instead, amazing.

Somehow he did more and less than I expected at the same time.

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

IT ISN’T ACTUALLY FINISHED YET?

Mald literally just threw the unfinished update on and said he’ll fix it later instead, amazing.

Somehow he did more and less than I expected at the same time.

Releasing it was the April update, fixing it is the May update. Insane behavior dude, he promised two updates what more do you want from him.