💼 Careercow Joe Cracker / Robert C. McGee

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Joe_Cracker said:
There should have been an OFP long before I made that.
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Your idea is a failure. The fact that you don't realize it (but everyone else does) is rather telling.

Here's the officer exam. Basically, if you tell Robert what he wants to hear then you become an officer. Competence is obviously not required.

The idiot test said:
OFP officer test: Pass this test and you will have the right to be an official OFP officer: Copy and paste the text in an email and send your text results to onlineforumpolice@live.com and type in subject "OFP officer test results"

1. True or False: The staff can penalize a member for what they say or do off the forum.

2. Should members be allowed to double post on any forum despite the rules? Yes/No

3. If the rules are clear on the steps that lead to a ban, must they be followed despite a member's behavior? Yes/No

4. If a member has posted 100 times on a single forum, are they eleagle for a staff position? Yes/No

5. True or False: A member must pay no less then $4.99 USD to be unbanned from any forum.

6. If a member buys available advertising space, and is penalized before the agreement is over, does the the forum reserve the right to take down his or her add without a refund? Yes/No

7. True or False: Issuing a permaban is always the answer to a spamming member.

8. If a group of members target a member for any reason and the member get's banned because of the group. Is that ban going to be valid? Yes/No

9. Are the staff answerable to the members for any actions that are deemed wrong to the membership without OFP involvement? Yes/No

10. Are questionable bans always invalid at the end? Yes/No

11. Can a member be banned for acts of piracy on a forum? Yes/No

12. If a forum exists to highlight a subject that is questionable to a younger audience, can they be penalized for posting pornography? Yes/No

13. True or False: As an OFP officer, I can choose a forum and make it my beet.

14. If I discover evidence of a federal or state crime, should I be the one to alert either federal or state police? Yes/No

15. True or False: A member can be banned for harassing staff via email.

16. True or False: As an officer I should always have my PC,Mac, or smartphone ready at all times to check my beat no matter what.

17. True or False: It is a contradiction and distraction to be both an OFP officer and a forum staffer.

18. True or False: Anything that happens on facebook or twitter can be handled by the OFP.

19. If the member lives in the U.S. and the forum's server is based in Europe, can the OFP still take action? Yes/No

20. True or False: I am completely helpless if the one I am fighting with is also an OFP officer.

21. True or False: A member can claim ownership of copyright for the contents of a post to prevent it from being removed.

22. True or False: If a forum doesn't recognize the OFP, there is nothing I can do.

23. True or False: Someone has posted personal information about someone who isn't a member of a forum and the staff are not responsible for the outcome.

24. True or False: Someone has made a post about Star Wars when the forum is about Star Trek, the post should be removed.

25. True or False: Someone is posting allot about these "Just loose it" plans and it has the classic signs of a pyramid scheme, they should be removed.

26. I just found a forum that says in it's rules that there are no second chances, what should I do?
A. Alert potential new members
B. Email them and ask the rules be changed
C. Look for another forum
D. None of the above

27. I just got an email stating that I have been denied membership to a forum, what should I do?
A. Reply and ask why
B. Tell them that I pose no risk
C. Tell them that I'm an OFP officer
D. None of the above

28. A popular forum has just faced a cyber-attack, what should I do?
A. Ask who was banned in the last 6 months
B. See if it has happened to others
C. Ask if they have up to date anti-virus software
D. All of the above

29. A member is having computer problems and is having problems staying logged in to the forum, can this be a problem to the staff? Yes/No

30. True or False: All permabans are permanent and cannot be undone.
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Oh man, talk about a blast from the past. Ol' Joe was pretty much my introduction to Internet culture back in 2003. I was really into Zelda back then and frequented several fansites and forums for the series. I never commented on his stuff, but I loved to lurk and marvel at his delusions. Even with my stupid tween brain, I thought it was silly, though harmless. I guess you could say that he was also my introduction to lolcows.

This is actually kind of nostalgic. I'd completely forgotten about him until now. Most of those Zelda fansites have sadly been lost to the sands of time, but Joe lives on in my heart. :heart-full:
 
So Joe is going to suspend his least interesting project ever, unless he can raise money from his audience, all of whom knows he never finishes anything.

Well, damn. That is a solid plan.
 
Alan Pardew said:
lol good luck with that. What happens if you can't get the money required?
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Then I can't use my HDV camera which I use to film everything from new extras for a new Unknown Creature DVD and a potential kickstarter video. I have to have a working system to in order to make anything for you guys.
 
Joe_Cracker said:
Then I can't use my HDV camera which I use to film everything from new extras for a new Unknown Creature DVD and a potential kickstarter video. I have to have a working system to in order to make anything for you guys.
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Do you have a lower quality camera to make kickstarter videos? I think they would forgive you if it wasn't in full quality.
 
UnwiseKhan said:
Do you have a lower quality camera to make kickstarter videos? I think they would forgive you if it wasn't in full quality.
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I don't really understand What Joe is planning to do. I think he should present a video business plan, listing his projects, and what he needs to make them. Just like Major movie studios do.
 
Joe_Cracker said:
Go to Apple.com and see what a Mac mini costs if you want a keyboard and mouse.

I can't make a good presentation without a proper system.
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I am not interested in what kind of computer you want to buy. I'd like to know what kind of movies you want to make and how many. How much progress have you made on any of them?
 
Joe_Cracker said:
Go to Apple.com and see what a Mac mini costs if you want a keyboard and mouse.

I can't make a good presentation without a proper system.
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Why do you need a Mac?
 
ChurchOfGodBear said:
I am not interested in what kind of computer you want to buy. I'd like to know what kind of movies you want to make and how many. How much progress have you made on any of them?
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I've already stated to in earlier posts what kind of movies and web shows I want to make. You yourself gave me an outline for one. While writing Unknown Creature 2, I got a new character and I would like this guy for the part his name is Alphonso McAuley vine://user/956403236640890880
 
Joe_Cracker said:
I've already stated to in earlier posts what kind of movies and web shows I want to make. You yourself gave me an outline for one. While writing Unknown Creature 2, I got a new character and I would like this guy for the part his name is Alphonso McAuley vine://user/956403236640890880
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You've given us some random thoughts, but no sign of progress. If you want money, tell us what movies you want to make, when you plan to make them, and what you've done so far. A real studio would call this a "quarterly report"
 
Maybe Robert should issue some OFP judgment calls for people to give him money. Clearly he'll have the support of all registered forums (only one ever, his own).
 
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