Master: Alright, should we just start with the questions, or do you want me to give you the rules first? Not really rules, just a concept of how this works. I mentioned it before hand, that any questions you don't feel obligated to answer, you can simply pass by saying "pass." Does this seem fair?
Rob: It seems fair, but we'll answer anything, besides, you know..like, super personal stuff.
Master: Absolutely, absolutely. Like I said, some of the questions may come off as intrapersonal, that's why I'm stating this ahead of time.
Rob: These are probably things we've already said.
Master: Probably but you know, they're very, um, invasive? I want to say? Maybe just a little bit. Alright, [laughs] okay. I'm all comfortable now, so let's get this started. Okay, first question that's going to come up, is, can you explain the humor in telling people you fucked your cousin?
Rob: [noises] Okay.
Master: I did warn you ahead of time, you can't like be "Oh, that's not fair." No, I did say ahead of time.
Rob: Okay...I was sitting here, bored, nothing to do. We do not have that many followers on twitter, and the main way that we have obtained likes and subscribers online, has been by posting things that's...are kind of over the top. So, we thought it would be a good idea to post facts about PAB that were over the top, and uh, all of them were not true, and the people that know us, like actually talk to us daily know that they're not true. So, we assume that when we post all of these PAB facts.. [PAB interrupts]
PAB: Um, I think he means like, why the fuck your cousin thing?
Rob: Oh, that's what I'm getting to! I'm saying, [stress sigh] the fuck my cousin thing, along with all the other PAB facts, were meant to just bring more attention into us..by freaking people out. But, they were not all true.
Master: Oh thats, okay, understandable. But, you know, coming from a comedian standpoint myself, when you say something like "I fucked my cousin", you should have said "It was pretty hard, because she was already dead." You know, just follow through with something else. When you just say you fucked your cousin, a lot of people are going to construe that as the idea that you actually fucked your cousin.
PAB: [unintelligible] incest.
Rob: I understand, I understand. Yeah
Master: Yes. She, she's got the idea.
Rob: Yeah.
Master: A good joke generally has a punch line that follows, when you say something just straight up like that, a lot of people will get the wrong impression. But, I think that's a justifiable answer. Is there anything else you'd like to add, or would you like to move on?
Rob: I guess we can move on.
Master: Okay. Okay. I'm not trying to push this, if you feel, if anytime at any point you want to jump in and interject, by all means, please do so.
Rob: That's fine.
Master: Okay. Next question.
Rob: [unintelligible] Okay.
Master: I'm not 100% on how to pronounce your name, so I'm probably going to say this wrong, but um, Allayah?
PAB: My name's Michelle.
Master: Oh, okay, so these idiots don't know what they're doing, at all.
PAB: No, not really.
Master: Ok, well that's fine, okay.
PAB: [unintelligible] name is Kat.
Master: So lets, so let's just go with.. [pause] Okay, so like I said, these questions might come off, if you want to pass, pass, but this was asking how old were you when you had your baby, and how old was Rob?
[Very long pause with lip smacking]
PAB: Uuuh, I was 18, like just having turned 18, and he was 21.
Master: Okay, so just on the cusp of adulthood. Okay, alright, that's fine, like I said, you know, at any point at any time you feel you don't answer just pass. I'm not going to force anything out of you, you don't want to say.
Rob: I mean, and also, we were legally married, so.
Master: Okay.
Rob: I don't see what the issue is anyways.
Master: Okay, it's alright, If, please, by all means if you feel the need to defend yourself please do so. Like I said, I'm not here, I'm not here to harass you. I'm not here to tell you how wrong you are, or how right I am. I'm not here for that.
Rob: I know, it's just, you know.. people are, are like, trying to like, make me look like some type of [pause] I have no idea. And, I'm like, if we were, if we were legally married, in the state we live in, I mean, [pause] I don't see the issue. I mean, and she's of age, and we're, I'm just saying. I don't.
Master: It's okay, it's okay, don't be flustered, don't worry. Like I said, I'm not sitting here judging you. I'm just not wearing pants.
[PAB and Master laugh]
Master: See that, that's a joke. See? See how the momentary laughs [unintelligible] laughter, that's a joke. I'm gonna work some in here, so be careful, I'm gonna have a couple more probably. Alright, if we think that question's good, next one?
Rob: Sure.
Master: Alright, how old were you when you met? You mentioned something, I'm just, I'm going by what some of them said, you mentioned that you met a year ago through Facebook, but, they'd like to see if they can hammer that down, to like a number.
Rob: Well I could give you the whole story, if you want it.
Master: Absolutely!
Rob: Well, we-we were friends on Facebook for 4 years, and we had been friends for 4 years. But we never really, you know, hung out or anything. Because, 4 years ago, you know, she was too young for me to date or anything, but, we'd only, we've only seen each other like, seen each other at the mall like once or twice, but we have never actually like hung out or anything. And last year, I met her, I mean this is gonna give me a lot of hate too, but the fact that we're still together kind of justifies anything in a weird way, but anyways, we met last year, the summer of last year. She just had turned 18.
PAB: [unintelligible] no..
Rob: Yeah, you were practically, you were practically 18, and over the summer, and we hung out, we really had a connection there. And, before the summer, around the end of the summer, she moved in with me, and we got married. That is a little crazy, because, you know, most people don't do stuff like that, but, that's what happened.
Master: Okay, okay. So how long have you actually been married as of now?
Rob: Uh...for, a little bit over a year.
Master: A little bit over a year, okay, okay, and how..[Rob interrupts]
Rob: Like you can tell when we got married by when like, when we first started doing the pony vore videos.
Master: Mhm. Mhm.
Rob: 'Cause those did not exist until we were together.
Master: Okay, Alright.
Rob: And we started them like a month after we got married.
Master: I got that. Alright. Um, how long would, how long would you say you were dating eachother? Like if you put a term to dating, how long would you say you dated each other?
[Rob and PAB whisper]
PAB: I feel bad though.
Rob: I told her to tell you that she said she..we were dating for like, 2 or 3 weeks.
[Rob and PAB laugh]
Master: Okay, that's fine. Oh, like I-Hey, I'm not judging here. I've done stupid things too. Wait, that didn't come out right. Never mind, like I said-[Rob interrupts]
Rob: For the fact that we haven't had a divorce is like, amazing.
Master: Okay. Alright. Alright. Alright, um, next question? You good? You feel, feel good on that one?
Rob: I guess so.
Master: Alright, let's move on to the next question. Alright, this one, this one's gonna come off as a little dickish but I'm gonna reword it to my way. When you say you collect disabilities, and you state them as seizures and anxiety, how...how would you rate those on the level?
Rob: Okay, there was a, apparently there was a misunderstanding.
Master: Okay, by..please.
Rob: With everybody just attacking us without actually giving us the chance to explain anything.
Master: Okay.
Rob: I do not get any money from the government.
Master: Okay.
Rob: That was a misinterpretation. When I said I'm disabled, it doesn't mean like I'm so disabled I'm getting something out of it. It's the fact that I have a really bad anxiety problem. and I have like, phy-physical manifestations , you know, where my heart beat fast, or I feel short of breath, or, you know, something stupid like that.
Master: Mhm. Mhm.
Rob: I mean, it happens to me randomly. And, I go to the hospital ,and they say well, we can't find anything wrong with you, so it's just anxiety. You need to be, you know. You need to just deal with your panic attacks and your physical manifestations of stress and they'll eventually stop. But the thing is, I have a hard time dealing with it, so I have a hard time holding a job. Because ever since, like, she had the seizure and stuff, you know, it's just..it's really hurt me because you know, that's when we stopped making videos for like, the entire summer because I wasn't able to do anything. And I'm the only one who can edit the videos because she doesn't know how.
Master: Okay, okay. So what you're saying is that your, while, while it's considered a disablity it is in no way whatsoever monetized by the government?
Rob: Yes, it's more of a, it just prevents me from holding a job, basically.
Master: Okay, alright. So this next question's gonna come off a little less antiquated, but allow me to break it down, I'll just break it down for the last half. Do you plan on trying to monetize PAB?
Rob: No. That's a bad idea.
Master: Okay. Alright.
PAB: [laughs] That's such a bad idea.
Rob: [unintelligible] I believe that we have the right to like, you know, 'cause I believe that..
[Master coughs]
Master: Excuse me.
Rob: PAB is a parody. Huh?
Master: Oh, excuse me, I coughed.
Rob: I believe that like PAB is a parody, like a spoof, you know? I believe that you know, we have to right to make, you know, PAB videos, as I don't really see the harm in it. I don't see..we're not, we're not..I believe it's like in the category of making a parody, like I've already said. But the thing is, we don't own the rights to like, the characters. So, I don't think that legally it would be a good idea for us to monetize anything. but, I believe like, on a non-profit level, we have the right to.