Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

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Guess Kat's weight.

  • >200 lbs.

    Votes: 22 3.5%
  • 200 lbs.-250 lbs.

    Votes: 125 20.0%
  • 250 lbs.- 300 lbs.

    Votes: 110 17.6%
  • Damn that's a huge bitch.

    Votes: 369 58.9%

  • Total voters
    626
I would assume kat is probably saving as much as she can before the divorce saga since phil pays for everything.
"The divorce saga" is something that a lot of us are anticipating, but I am unsure if it will actually happen. Khet suffers from asperger's according to her sister, and doesn't look like she had the guts to do it herself. However, I propose another theory: the real mastermind behind all of this is Officer Sanders herself, Jenna. Jenna could influence her sister to an even greater degree than the pigroach himself. Khet marrying Phil was all part of Jenna's plan. In about 6 months or so, once Washington state would grant Khet full alimony, Jenna would force her to divorce, not that Khet would mind losing her oh so dear hubby, but Jenna will give her the push, then she'll use her sister's alimony to buy meth and not have to do porn for it anymore. Phil could actually be in big danger if my theory is correct, because a divorce attorney could prove that Phil spends thousands of dollars each month on WWE Champions, and thus, he'd have to pay crazy amounts on his future ex-wife. This combined with the fact that he has no self control could have devastating consequences. It's ironic, but only us, the detractors could warn Phil that this might happen, but he's such a dipshit that he wouldn't listen.
 
And just to add on to the points everyone else has made: Phil is extremely insecure. Regardless of social acceptability of being gay, or anything else Phil will never outright admit it. I am actually like you and lean more towards the low-T asexual thing, but that's the same boat. He hates being judged or mocked for anything, and let's be totally real here if Phil said on pre-stream tomorrow that he was anything other than straight, this board would light him the fuck up. His chat would explode, shit would go off and he'd get bullied for it. He's never going to admit that he's anything but a big tough macho man, even as he sits around letting his house fall apart and letting himself drown in mental, emotional, and financial problems instead of trying to solve them like a real man would.

Something I've also been thinking about with the gay/asexual thing: we know Phil is a mommy's boy. I wonder what his mom's opinion on the alphabet soup revolution is. I also wonder if she's expressed that opinion to her son. I don't think his dad's opinion would affect him as much as his moms, and maybe this is just my experience, but moms tend to be a lot more invested in shit like this. Source: the amount of times my mom has told me she'd be okay with me being gay/trans but she'd be a bit sad still.
Come join us in the Phil psychology thread dood!

Aside from low T, I think mommy dearest might have something to do with Phils weird asexuality.

It can’t be a coincidence that he keeps calling Khat for “My mo-wife!” Afterall!

"The divorce saga" is something that a lot of us are anticipating, but I am unsure if it will actually happen. Khet suffers from asperger's according to her sister, and doesn't look like she had the guts to do it herself. However, I propose another theory: the real mastermind behind all of this is Officer Sanders herself, Jenna.

Granted, Khat might have assburgers, and she might not be the brightest mare in the stable. Or is she?

We don’t really know that much about Khat, but what is one of the things that we DO know about her?

The way she traded a Subaru for a BMW (hint-hint!) and in a relatively short amount of time roped in Phil, back when she thought he was kind of a big deal.

(And fuck, Phil was quite a bit bigger then as a streamer than he is now!)

Now granted, Khat’s plan kinda backfired when the rich lifestyle upgrade she thought she was getting, turned out to be an alcoholic gambling addict with gout and rapidly losing his audience and relevance.

BUT... The point here isn’t that Khat makes dumb decisions. The point is that Khat made a pretty ambitious play when she thought (wrongly!) it would benefit her.

And it’s not unlikely she will try that again!

but Jenna will give her the push, then she'll use her sister's alimony to buy meth and not have to do porn for it anymore.

(Sigh) I was hoping to get a half and half with Jenna for a hundred bucks and a motel room for a day or two thrown in on top.

Are you saying that isn’t likely to happen?!

Bummer! I was kinda looking forward to informing Phil on his stream that we are now bang-bro-in laws, and discuss Jenna’s vagina with Derich in intimate detail in the chat. lol

Possibly even sell her used panties to OIC for 100-200$ since it’s as close as he’s likely to ever get to Khat’s fishflaps.

But basically you’re saying that I can forget all of that?

Fuck!
 
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Some of his other mannerisms and perceptions of himself are definitely still stuck in the past. He refused to wear glasses for the longest time because he didn't want to look like a nerd.
I think this also explains his fascination with dudes. Phil doesn't want to be a geeky nerd, he wants to be the strong and cool jock that everyone looks up to. Phil also sees himself in every character he plays, which is why he always picks the strongest character. It's also why he lies about being a bodybuilder/weightlifter, and desperately insists he's still strong and can beat Tyson in a fight. So, he does idealize dudes and wants to be like them, but isn't necessarily lusting after them.
 
JESUS CHRIST JUST FUCK HER ALREADY PHIL!

Imagine having a decade younger nympho-girlfriend pretty much doing anything to get you and your cocks attention, and Phil is just waddling autistically around the room with his gay little camcorder, and talking about the shitty WiFi and the challenge of hooking a laptop up to a TV.
I posted a video in this thread awhile back of another weekend hotel vacations (side note- such a weird thing Phil used to do) in Seattle (I think). The video starts out with Panda stumbling off the bed, saying she has had too much to drink..and Phil immediately shifts the camera to a box of leftover pizza and starts to get a massive hard on over how delicious it looks.
 
The only real problem I have with the “Phil is gay!” Theory is that it isn’t 1985 or 1995. Phil could come out and not just enjoy sweet bathhouse rumps with sweaty muscle doods, he must surely also be aware of all the extra cash a “Phil: Gaymer on Stream” story would bring him.

New viewers dood! Libtards and fags throwing cash his way because homophobic detractors try to ruin his life! Please contribute! Phil needs money for his PREP pills!

Phil as a low testosterone asexual autist rhymes a lot better with what we’re seeing.
idk I'm sure with how he's always tried to present himself he would think that he couldn't come out no matter what year it is hell everyone knows how secluded he is he still has that mentality

I posted a video in this thread awhile back of another weekend hotel vacations (side note- such a weird thing Phil used to do) in Seattle (I think). The video starts out with Panda stumbling off the bed, saying she has had too much to drink..and Phil immediately shifts the camera to a box of leftover pizza and starts to get a massive hard on over how delicious it looks.
Well if he's not gay, but I think he is then he's just scared of the pussy and most likely if not a virgin only fucked maybe 1 time in his life
 
Well if he's not gay, but I think he is then he's just scared of the pussy and most likely if not a virgin only fucked maybe 1 time in his life
Apologies in advance.

If DSP has fucked every girl he's been with (Kat and Panda), he has taken down 2 ladies in his time (and not that there is anything wrong with that). From what we have seen of Kat, she seems too "evened out" on meds to have an ounce of libido. Even in a place as romantic as DSP's parents duplex, I find it hard to believe that he consummated his marriage. From what we have seen of Panda, I would argue that there were many times where she legit forced herself on DSP. Before them, there was nobody. Despite what many people may believe, the Fighting Game Community wasn't full of groupies saying "Oh my god, you got 4th place at EVO! Have me!".

John Rambo was the one that got away.

The only real problem I have with the “Phil is gay!” Theory is that it isn’t 1985 or 1995. Phil could come out and not just enjoy sweet bathhouse rumps with sweaty muscle doods, he must surely also be aware of all the extra cash a “Phil: Gaymer on Stream” story would bring him.

New viewers dood! Libtards and fags throwing cash his way because homophobic detractors try to ruin his life! Please contribute! Phil needs money for his PREP pills!

Phil as a low testosterone asexual autist rhymes a lot better with what we’re seeing.
DSP is also stuck in the nineties. NWO is the best, and if you don't like them, you must be a faggot!!!! Hahahah
 
From what we have seen of Kat, she seems too "evened out" on meds to have an ounce of libido.
Has it been speculated that she also might be a drinker? Maybe there is room on those Total Wine orders for two.

I did get some Helga Pataki's mother vibes from her brief appearances on stream, but this could be solely a result of whatever med's she ingests.

I just realized Helga's mom from Hey Arnold! Is an Alcoholic... | IGN Boards
 
Source: the amount of times my mom has told me she'd be okay with me being gay/trans but she'd be a bit sad still.
do you just not have a girlfriend?
how many incels were thought to be gay because they were incels?
"He refused to wear glasses for the longest time because he didn't want to look like a nerd. "
the nerd perception still exists among glasses wearers, but now its separated by types of glasses.
gucci or rayban glasses are seen as the cool glasses.
wire frame oval or rectangular glasses are the nerdy glasses.
 
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Come join us in the Phil psychology thread dood!

Aside from low T, I think mommy dearest might have something to do with Phils weird asexuality.

It can’t be a coincidence that he keeps calling Khat for “My mo-wife!” Afterall!

I'm pretty sure I've made some long rambling posts, as is my style, over in that thread. Honestly, with how fucked his mind is it's kinda shocking it's not something we speculate about more often. A lot of people don't realize how big of an impact your parental figures have in all future relationships, and Phil's weird attitudes towards relationships could be rooted a lot more in that.

From what we have seen of Panda, I would argue that there were many times where she legit forced herself on DSP.

I really hope that didn't happen. I really hadn't thought about it, but it wouldn't surprise me. With how low his sex drive seems to be, and how high she said hers is...Regardless of how attractive anyone thinks she is, pressuring a partner into sex is scummy, and forcing anyone even a spouse into sex is rape and the last thing this ranch needs is another rape story from a lolcow.

I think you answered your own question there. It's probably a very bad idea for Kat to be drinking.

Doesn't mean it would stop her. I knew a guy on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds. I was on the same meds for a bit and one of the things I was told when prescribed them was not to drink while on them. I'd seen this guy kill a bottle of vodka, and then go take his pills. People are retarded.
 
Has it been speculated that she also might be a drinker? Maybe there is room on those Total Wine orders for two.
Some people have said that they more than likely share the drinks. If it was only Phil drinking all that gin, his liver would've melted by now, according to internet specialists. To be fair, we don't know what Phil's been buying. We joke about it being gin, but he had to mix it up once in a while. Hard to tell exactly, but based on the credit card leaks, I would believe that there's two drinkers in that household.
 
I might be misremembering this, but before (or possibly shortly after?) Phil flew Khet out, didn't he allude to her helping him with his drinking? If I'm remembering right, that was one of the reasons he listed her as his soulmaid. It might have just been him vaguely talking about depression, but I could have sworn drinking was somehow brought up.

I only mention this because, if I'm not being a total tard and misremembering things, it's even more hilarious that Phil is spending so much money/presumably drinking with Khet after she "helped" him with his addiction.
 
I might be misremembering this, but before (or possibly shortly after?) Phil flew Khet out, didn't he allude to her helping him with his drinking? If I'm remembering right, that was one of the reasons he listed her as his soulmaid. It might have just been him vaguely talking about depression, but I could have sworn drinking was somehow brought up.

I only mention this because, if I'm not being a total tard and misremembering things, it's even more hilarious that Phil is spending so much money/presumably drinking with Khet after she "helped" him with his addiction.
That came from "Subaru Man", not Phil. In his telling one of the things Phil told Kat while they were still just texting/Tweeting to each other was that he had a drinking problem and the support of a good woman i.e. her could help him overcome it. Phil really has not told us much about Kat and almost none of it is the gushy personal stuff that might make gossip-hungry autists like us perk up so anything juicy you hear about her is probably second- or third-hand.

Personally I am skeptical of this claim because Phil stooping that low (even by his standards) seems just too good to be true and the idea that "help me with my drinking problem" is going to attract anybody, especially a woman who looks and acts catatonic, seems even more absurd. That being said we have no way of verifying so this is all just conjecture.
 
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First of all: You know how Phil says “mom-Eh-Muh wife!”

How often do you think it happens IRL in front of Khat?

Because I’ll fucking bet you it has happened. It usually happens when he’s a little absentminded and doing two things at the same time, so I’ll guaran-fucking-tee it has happened while he was getting ready to order on Doordash or whatever and went: “What about you mo-eh-Khat?”

Phil and Khat probably just ignored it as the socially awkward autists they are.

The following times Phil probably made an awkward “Tuh-heh-heh, how silly!” Joke out of it, like he tried on stream.

(I know some of you deviants are going to go: “What about in the sack?! You think Phil ever goes ‘IM COOOOMMMING MOOOM!!!’?”

Let’s all agree not to go there, shall we?)

That came from "Subaru Man", not Phil. In his telling one of the things Phil told Kat while they were still just texting/Tweeting to each other was that he had a drinking problem and the support of a good woman i.e. her could help him overcome it. Phil really has not told us much about Kat and almost none of it is the gushy personal stuff that might make gossip-hungry autists like us perk up so anything juicy you hear about her is probably second- or third-hand.

Personally I am skeptical of this claim because Phil stooping that low (even by his standards) seems just too good to be true and the idea that "help me with my drinking problem" is going to attract anybody, especially a woman who looks and acts catatonic, seems even more absurd. That being said we have no way of verifying so this is all just conjecture.

I’ll buy it. Mostly because:

1: Subaruman has no real reason to lie. There was no need to make Phil look like shit considering he already is, and if he wanted to make Phil look extra bad, he could have come up with something more outrageous.

2: Kind of a coincidence that Subaruman brought up a drinking problem, that we just pretty much confirmed exists?

3: Phil himself mentioned “drinking way too much” during his “Muh depression” beg-ments.

4: Let’s not look at this the way a normal person does, but the way an autistic hermit would. Autists like Phil don’t know people, but they know STEREOTYPES, and the “saved by a good woman” one is a powerful one that Phil would know from movies etc.

5: “I need a good woman to save me from Muh drinking! Wouldn’t come across as cringe to Phil. He wouldn’t stop to think “Fuck, it might make her reconsider what mess she’s getting into!” Phil would think it’s romantic and that women are nurturing and caring (like say... A mother!). Since Phil lacks the ability to understand others, he would therefore assume that Khat ALSO think it’s kind of a romantic thing to say.
 
First of all: You know how Phil says “mom-Eh-Muh wife!”

How often do you think it happens IRL in front of Khat?

Because I’ll fucking bet you it has happened. It usually happens when he’s a little absentminded and doing two things at the same time, so I’ll guaran-fucking-tee it has happened while he was getting ready to order on Doordash or whatever and went: “What about you mo-eh-Khat?”

Phil and Khat probably just ignored it as the socially awkward autists they are.

The following times Phil probably made an awkward “Tuh-heh-heh, how silly!” Joke out of it, like he tried on stream.

(I know some of you deviants are going to go: “What about in the sack?! You think Phil ever goes ‘IM COOOOMMMING MOOOM!!!’?”

Let’s all agree not to go there, shall we?)



I’ll buy it. Mostly because:

1: Subaruman has no real reason to lie. There was no need to make Phil look like shit considering he already is, and if he wanted to make Phil look extra bad, he could have come up with something more outrageous.

2: Kind of a coincidence that Subaruman brought up a drinking problem, that we just pretty much confirmed exists?

3: Phil himself mentioned “drinking way too much” during his “Muh depression” beg-ments.

4: Let’s not look at this the way a normal person does, but the way an autistic hermit would. Autists like Phil don’t know people, but they know STEREOTYPES, and the “saved by a good woman” one is a powerful one that Phil would know from movies etc.

5: “I need a good woman to save me from Muh drinking! Wouldn’t come across as cringe to Phil. He wouldn’t stop to think “Fuck, it might make her reconsider what mess she’s getting into!” Phil would think it’s romantic and that women are nurturing and caring (like say... A mother!). Since Phil lacks the ability to understand others, he would therefore assume that Khat ALSO think it’s kind of a romantic thing to say.
In addition, the narrative that he engages in binge drinking within the confines of his Renton Bachelor pad further supports the "manly man" stereotype that Dave has tried to assert so often; a rugged rule breaker who drinks hard liquor, who is plagued by a "darkside" (see his need to be medicated during adolescence & eponymous username), and only though the love and unending support of a fair maiden, will the light and positivity trounce it's adversary.

Essentially, Dave feels a personal connection with those facebook posts so often shared featuring some cliche quote displayed across a backdrop of an edited wolf that displays this dichotomy. Total vagina repellent.
 
That came from "Subaru Man", not Phil. In his telling one of the things Phil told Kat while they were still just texting/Tweeting to each other was that he had a drinking problem and the support of a good woman i.e. her could help him overcome it. Phil really has not told us much about Kat and almost none of it is the gushy personal stuff that might make gossip-hungry autists like us perk up so anything juicy you hear about her is probably second- or third-hand.

Personally I am skeptical of this claim because Phil stooping that low (even by his standards) seems just too good to be true and the idea that "help me with my drinking problem" is going to attract anybody, especially a woman who looks and acts catatonic, seems even more absurd. That being said we have no way of verifying so this is all just conjecture.
Thank you, I knew the memories were based on something. I'm pretty skeptical as well, not so much because I don't think Phil is above doing that sort of thing, but I don't think Phil would ever admit he has a problem, least of all something he was at fault for. I suppose he could have said it was the trolls that drove him to drinking. Still, I don't think his pride would actually let him admit to doing something wrong. His past "apologies" are typically about how times have changed and he's grown up, but avoid actually holding himself accountable for anything.

I also think it is too clever for Phil. I know it's basic level manipulation, and for anyone else I could see them thinking about it, but this is Phil, who needed help to get the brilliant idea of spinning in his chair. It also seems like a weird thing for Khet to mention to the dude she was cheating on. Then again, it's also a weirdly specific thing for Subaru Man to lie about. But, with no actual evidence backing it up, I'm inclined to agree it didn't happen.
 
Thank you, I knew the memories were based on something. I'm pretty skeptical as well, not so much because I don't think Phil is above doing that sort of thing, but I don't think Phil would ever admit he has a problem, least of all something he was at fault for. I suppose he could have said it was the trolls that drove him to drinking. Still, I don't think his pride would actually let him admit to doing something wrong. His past "apologies" are typically about how times have changed and he's grown up, but avoid actually holding himself accountable for anything.

I also think it is too clever for Phil. I know it's basic level manipulation, and for anyone else I could see them thinking about it, but this is Phil, who needed help to get the brilliant idea of spinning in his chair. It also seems like a weird thing for Khet to mention to the dude she was cheating on. Then again, it's also a weirdly specific thing for Subaru Man to lie about. But, with no actual evidence backing it up, I'm inclined to agree it didn't happen.

There’s no reason to believe that Subaruman heard it from Khet as opposed to read it in their messages by himself, since he was the one to discover the cheating.

As for admitting to wrongdoing, Phil would definetely so if he thought it could benefit him or make him look cool.

Just yesterday on Ack The King he talked about how he always “got angry” and “reacted with anger in the past” whenever something bad happened.

(Wow! Phil is such a badass!)

We also know from the Rambo interview that Phil would often react with apologizing IN PRIVATE when doing some bs, but without ever following it up with action or not doing the same thing again later.

So one on one, Phil has previously admitting to doing things wrongly in the past. Again, when it benefits him.
 
There’s no reason to believe that Subaruman heard it from Khet as opposed to read it in their messages by himself, since he was the one to discover the cheating.

As for admitting to wrongdoing, Phil would definetely so if he thought it could benefit him or make him look cool.

Just yesterday on Ack The King he talked about how he always “got angry” and “reacted with anger in the past” whenever something bad happened.

(Wow! Phil is such a badass!)

We also know from the Rambo interview that Phil would often react with apologizing IN PRIVATE when doing some bs, but without ever following it up with action or not doing the same thing again later.

So one on one, Phil has previously admitting to doing things wrongly in the past. Again, when it benefits him.
I feel like most of the time if he admits some kind of wrongdoing, it's always with an asterisk about how he only did something wrong because of a bunch of other reasons, or saying something like it was acceptable at the time, but not cool now etc. He does it in the most passive way possible without really owning up to it, insisting it was somehow the trolls or detractors. I think the closest he gets to blaming himself is when he talks about depression, but even then, that's depression caused by detractors, so they're still really at fault.

Him straight up saying he has a drinking problem feels too direct. It's possible it was worded in typical Phil fashion and we only heard an abridged version. I'd maybe be more inclined if Phil mentioned it, but it seems like if anything, he tries to bury how much he drinks. IMO, there's plenty of things to be critical about with Phil that's backed up by more reliable evidence, so I'm willing to disregard third hand "he said/she said" style of information. That was one of the issues with the escort saga, where it started off with the escort saying things that reasonably made sense/we could see Phil doing, but not having any real evidence backing it up.
 
I feel like most of the time if he admits some kind of wrongdoing, it's always with an asterisk about how he only did something wrong because of a bunch of other reasons, or saying something like it was acceptable at the time, but not cool now etc. He does it in the most passive way possible without really owning up to it, insisting it was somehow the trolls or detractors. I think the closest he gets to blaming himself is when he talks about depression, but even then, that's depression caused by detractors, so they're still really at fault.
Well, he does straight up admit to drinking too much in his “Muh depression” videos, so I could totally see him try to “woo” Khat in the most autistic way possible: “I need a good woman to save me from Muh drinking and Muh dark
Side!”

(Phil probably watched Leaving Las Vegas once, and thinks all women have a savior complex.)

Tits-Burnell put it well:

In addition, the narrative that he engages in binge drinking within the confines of his Renton Bachelor pad further supports the "manly man" stereotype that Dave has tried to assert so often; a rugged rule breaker who drinks hard liquor, who is plagued by a "darkside" (see his need to be medicated during adolescence & eponymous username), and only though the love and unending support of a fair maiden, will the light and positivity trounce it's adversary.

The fact that Subaruman tells us about something we pretty much also just confirmed with his own bank statements also makes it more likely imho.

Do we know for sure if Phil pulled an “I need a good woman to save me from muhself!” on Khat? Nah, but it definitely has the ring of truth and I could totally see it happening.


Anyways, let’s wait... wtf?!
They'd then proceed to make passionate love as Phil whimpered, eventually screaming for his mother at the point of climax.

Did... Did... DIDNT I JUST SAY LETS NOT GO THERE?!

The world has clearly lost a very talented DSP Erotic Fan Fic writer when you decided to join the Farms!

(Yes, they exist. And I encourage you to make full use of your talents!)
 
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