Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

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Guess Kat's weight.

  • >200 lbs.

    Votes: 22 3.5%

  • 200 lbs.-250 lbs.

    Votes: 125 20.0%

  • 250 lbs.- 300 lbs.

    Votes: 110 17.6%

  • Damn that's a huge bitch.

    Votes: 369 58.9%
  • Total voters
    626
TheGoutburglar said:
I just assumed Phil moved to an office to feel superior. He used to use his living room when he first moved to this condo, didn't he? That didn't look like his office in the last Leanna stream. Would be pretty funny for that trait of his to bite him in the ass, as his roommate makes themselves at home in his living room, instead of confining themselves to their own office.
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He's always streamed from that same office. He made a few changes early on, but it's always been in that room.
 
TheGoutburglar said:
I just assumed Phil moved to an office to feel superior. He used to use his living room when he first moved to this condo, didn't he? That didn't look like his office in the last Leanna stream. Would be pretty funny for that trait of his to bite him in the ass, as his roommate makes themselves at home in his living room, instead of confining themselves to their own office.
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Completely agree. Phil loves to talk about how what he does is a job, and when you work in a job, you have an office. Given how reluctant he is to change anything in his "professional workspace" I imagine laziness is a big factor as well. Phil can't even hang a vest rack in his office, and when his half-assed velcro attempt failed, he just left it on the ground. The fact he managed to put up those boxes in the background is honestly a small miracle in and of itself.
 
Sparkletor 2.0 said:
Kat's pretty dumb, but she did somehow manage to outsmart the pig.

She moved her Playstation downstairs with a big comfy couch, big screen TV, surround sound, a cool breeze blowing through the house, the fridge and bathroom (and liquor cabinet) are right there. Meanwhile Phil sits on his piece of shit chair in his dusty cramped office sweating his pools of sweat squinting at his TV at a weird angle.

Downstairs is where Phil should have been streaming all along. Fucking idiot. His "job" could have been so much more comfortable. He could have set up his props behind him.

I bet the only reason he has an office is because he can write it off as a business expense.
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Kat has it made! She went from a shithole in Michigan with Subaru man to a condo in Seattle but not IN Seattle. All she has to do is warm up Phil's DoorDash in the microwave, work a few hours here and there to get out of the house, have access to the liquor cabinet, lick her salt, and play Skyrim for the rest of her days.

Meanwhile, the sucker that she fooled into putting a ring on it is sitting upstairs, cursing at the dentheads, with the door closed, and being the blue collar worker making $150K a YEAR, but playing broke. Hell, she doesn't even have to sleep in the same bed as the fucking idiot!

Yeah, Kat played Phil like the idiot he is! She's living the high life!
 
Cyber Bowling said:
Completely agree. Phil loves to talk about how what he does is a job, and when you work in a job, you have an office. Given how reluctant he is to change anything in his "professional workspace" I imagine laziness is a big factor as well. Phil can't even hang a vest rack in his office, and when his half-assed velcro attempt failed, he just left it on the ground. The fact he managed to put up those boxes in the background is honestly a small miracle in and of itself.
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Mature adults also sip mature adult beverages whilst relaxing in their study listening to mature adult music.
 
Beverly Sutphin said:
Kat has it made! She went from a shithole in Michigan with Subaru man to a condo in Seattle but not IN Seattle. All she has to do is warm up Phil's DoorDash in the microwave, work a few hours here and there to get out of the house, have access to the liquor cabinet, lick her salt, and play Skyrim for the rest of her days.

Meanwhile, the sucker that she fooled into putting a ring on it is sitting upstairs, cursing at the dentheads, with the door closed, and being the blue collar worker making $150K a YEAR, but playing broke. Hell, she doesn't even have to sleep in the same bed as the fucking idiot!

Yeah, Kat played Phil like the idiot he is! She's living the high life!
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I hope she's skimming some of the monthly grocery allowance and investing it in a S&P 500 ETF.

Because Phil's ability to make money is not going to last forever,
 
Preferred Penne said:
Mature adults also sip mature adult beverages whilst relaxing in their study listening to mature adult music.
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Only the finest of total wine orders and video game soundtracks for Phil and Khet. When he's feeling in more of a cultured mood, he'll even indulge in frantic finger chewing while listening to African tribal music (or whatever weird phrase he used to describe it)
 
JT Marlin said:
I hope she's skimming some of the monthly grocery allowance and investing it in a S&P 500 ETF.

Because Phil's ability to make money is not going to last forever,
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No way she's doing that, we're talking about trailer trash who has been couch surfing/gold digging most of her adult life. Even if she were putting money in her own rainy day/ditch Phil fund it'd be in a savings account or under the mattress, not an ETF because she probably has no idea what that is or how to set it up.

I also think Kat has to be around for the long haul because it's not like she can do much better: The overlap between "men making $120k/year", "men spending like a drunken sailor", and "men willing to settle for Kat" is pretty small so unless the stars align perfectly the alternative to Phil isn't another rich mark, it's going back to squatting in Podunk Michigan. Combine that with Phil's desperation to keep her around and I suspect that spending on things she wants will be one of the last things he cuts back on.
 
UncleTusky said:
: The overlap between "men making $120k/year", "men spending like a drunken sailor", and "men willing to settle for Kat" is pretty small so unless the stars align perfectly the alternative to Phil isn't another rich mark, it's going back to squatting in Podunk Michigan.
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Every year that passes the probability over her going back to her hometown frozen shithole of Gaylord Michigan becomes even smaller. Kat is dumb but even she knows a parked car or a meth addicts trailer is not better then her free ride at the snortfort. I don't feel sorry for her at all. She somehow lucked into a guys life who is making 8 times what he should be just by being his fan. She got picked at random during one of his binge drinking sessions to come marry him. She would have worked retail and paid off a trailer with her meth dealer boyfriend if it weren't for Phil. Kat is somehow even luckier then him.
 
Deathfromabove said:
Every year that passes the probability over her going back to her hometown frozen shithole of Gaylord Michigan becomes even smaller. Kat is dumb but even she knows a parked car or a meth addicts trailer is not better then her free ride at the snortfort.
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I agree, she is with the right gaylord.
 
Schrödinger's Kat:

1.) Kat is both so hideously fat that no one would want to fuck her

2.) Kat is getting dicked down by Tyrone and Jim regularly

I see lots of theories about how Kat struck it big with Phil (she did) and how her dating prospects are slim to none (they are) but then simultaneously suggest that she’s a landwhale and getting blacked nonstop behind Phil’s back.

Rate me MATI but it’s a logical inconsistency gosh darn it and it’s ruining my immersion into this season.
 
DerichLovesSSI said:
Schrödinger's Kat:

1.) Kat is both so hideously fat that no one would want to fuck her

2.) Kat is getting dicked down by Tyrone and Jim regularly

I see lots of theories about how Kat struck it big with Phil (she did) and how her dating prospects are slim to none (they are) but then simultaneously suggest that she’s a landwhale and getting blacked nonstop behind Phil’s back.

Rate me MATI but it’s a logical inconsistency gosh darn it and it’s ruining my immersion into this season.
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There's always the streotypical "black guys love fat white ladies and hate commitment" that can bind both realites. The Phil being a cuck thing is based less off of Kat and more on Phil being a lameass who apparently, allegedly, super speculatively, based off of the tiny window we get into his life didn't fuck Panda and just generally has a low sex drive. Kat's a fucking beige wall of a human from what we've seen and what's come out. The most we've gotten is when Jeff Subaru said she was neurotic and insecure.

In reality, the truth of the whole matter at the end of the day is probably, maybe, I don't really know you guys but I think Kat just rides along until things stop working out or something better comes along. She was willing to move cross country with some dude she saw three times with seemingly nothing in her possesion besides a PC because he was offering more than Subaru man. Her doesn't have a familial support system and probably not many friends considering everything. Yeah she married him, but it was a minor investment, will it become an issue if she ever leaves? Maybe, but she probably isn't thinking about that because she lives in the moment. Kat has reached the peak of zen and is just floating down the river of life.
 
There's one reason Kat chose to cheat on Subaru Jeff and go with Phil. Money and a comfortable place to live. Jeff seemed like a douche with weird hobbies that forced her to do lame stuff, but c'mon it's Phil...

Kat isn't a great catch, but it's current year where tons of fat single mothers have their choice of normal0 guys on Tinder. She could easily find other men than Phil, if she wants.

I doubt she wants to... until the money starts drying up. Which is the main reason why I think Phil begs as hard as he does. Most disagree, but I think that's why Leanna left, and will probably be why Kat leaves eventually.
 
DerichLovesSSI said:
Schrödinger's Kat:

1.) Kat is both so hideously fat that no one would want to fuck her

2.) Kat is getting dicked down by Tyrone and Jim regularly

I see lots of theories about how Kat struck it big with Phil (she did) and how her dating prospects are slim to none (they are) but then simultaneously suggest that she’s a landwhale and getting blacked nonstop behind Phil’s back.

Rate me MATI but it’s a logical inconsistency gosh darn it and it’s ruining my immersion into this season.
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You honestly think black guys don't fuck fat white women?
 
DerichLovesSSI said:
Schrödinger's Kat:

1.) Kat is both so hideously fat that no one would want to fuck her

2.) Kat is getting dicked down by Tyrone and Jim regularly

I see lots of theories about how Kat struck it big with Phil (she did) and how her dating prospects are slim to none (they are) but then simultaneously suggest that she’s a landwhale and getting blacked nonstop behind Phil’s back.

Rate me MATI but it’s a logical inconsistency gosh darn it and it’s ruining my immersion into this season.
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Both are jokes/exaggerations that, admittedly, a few odd posters treat as fact.

She's almost certainly gotten fatter given what we know about their diet/activity, but I don't think anyone actually believes she's 500+ pounds or whatever.

Pretty sure the Tyrone joke dates back to Leanna. Jim got added in the early days when Phil would (most likely) lie and say Kat was going to the gym. From the limited information we have, Kat leaves the house less than Phil. Really, the joke is less about Kat being unfaithful and more the implication that Phil is such a shitty husband she'd have no choice but to cheat. IMO, worked better in the Leanna days because she, for whatever reason, wanted to sleep with Phil.
 
DerichLovesSSI said:
Schrödinger's Kat:

1.) Kat is both so hideously fat that no one would want to fuck her

2.) Kat is getting dicked down by Tyrone and Jim regularly

I see lots of theories about how Kat struck it big with Phil (she did) and how her dating prospects are slim to none (they are) but then simultaneously suggest that she’s a landwhale and getting blacked nonstop behind Phil’s back.

Rate me MATI but it’s a logical inconsistency gosh darn it and it’s ruining my immersion into this season.
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Niggos love fat white women
 
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