Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

[Wurstbrot]

I've encountered my fair share of women who thought certain men were funny when I very much did not find them to be, but in Leanna's case, I think it went from finding him funny because she didn't really know him to finding it funny to laugh at him because she realized what he is.

This might just be a projection from my very early relationships, but I heavily assume Leanna just wanted to enjoy her young life without being bothered by responsibilities, because she still had a childish mind as a young adult, means easy to influence and to make her laugh. Immature stupid "jokes" from a famous guy (power positions are sexy), who constantly pretends to be the Know-It-All without really knowing him? Perfect manipulation.
Has she just adopted his opinions and toxicity? Who knows! But she used it to turn against Phil at a certain point, which was glorious.

So, now imagine yourself in her early shoes. She looks at a mature adult who should know how the world works, is an okay-ish looking guy, behaves quite differently from the rest of males, has many opinions, is in a power position, has his own condo and seems to make good money with videogames, has maybe a Papa Bear feeling, quite energetic and constantly moving, makes jokes all the time.

To quote Phil, they had way too different interests. She wanted to travel and such, and he wanted to play videogames. While Leanna developed maturity, Phil decomposed to an old lazy bum who's good for nothing of interest.

There had to be a time when she thought to herself: "Hahaha, oh Phil you're so funny. But now seriously, I need an adult partner. So please stop sitting on your ass all day and get a job." and realized "being funny" in her own opinion is the only positive trait he has and this is not enough in a long-term relationship.
She came home, Phil yelled at games. She started a soap business, Phil yelled at games. She made friends (I assume), Phil yelled at games all alone.
This would maybe be okay if she hadn't figured out his self-centered assholish behavior is not an act and made no stop in their relationship. "I still wait for my apology!" "Uuuuh, NO! ACK ACK ACK".
There had to be a limit to the toxicity she could tolerate in her private life, especially when it comes from an insecure manbaby with the tiniest balls and can't catch a teaspoon of responsibility.

Leanna has a personality and a certain strength, I'm sincerely happy she moved on, I wish her the best. Phil Burnell is not fit for a relationship with any sane strong waifu.

Then we got Khet with the Asperger.

 

[hundredthousand]

This might just be a projection from my very early relationships, but I heavily assume Leanna just wanted to enjoy her young life without being bothered by responsibilities, because she still had a childish mind as a young adult, means easy to influence and to make her laugh. Immature stupid "jokes" from a famous guy (power positions are sexy), who constantly pretends to be the Know-It-All without really knowing him? Perfect manipulation.
Has she just adopted his opinions and toxicity? Who knows! But she used it to turn against Phil at a certain point, which was glorious.

So, now imagine yourself in her early shoes. She looks at a mature adult who should know how the world works, is an okay-ish looking guy, behaves quite differently from the rest of males, has many opinions, is in a power position, has his own condo and seems to make good money with videogames, has maybe a Papa Bear feeling, quite energetic and constantly moving, makes jokes all the time.

To quote Phil, they had way too different interests. She wanted to travel and such, and he wanted to play videogames. While Leanna developed maturity, Phil decomposed to an old lazy bum who's good for nothing of interest.

There had to be a time when she thought to herself: "Hahaha, oh Phil you're so funny. But now seriously, I need an adult partner. So please stop sitting on your ass all day and get a job." and realized "being funny" in her own opinion is the only positive trait he has and this is not enough in a long-term relationship.
She came home, Phil yelled at games. She started a soap business, Phil yelled at games. She made friends (I assume), Phil yelled at games all alone.
This would maybe be okay if she hadn't figured out his self-centered assholish behavior is not an act and made no stop in their relationship. "I still wait for my apology!" "Uuuuh, NO! ACK ACK ACK".
There had to be a limit to the toxicity she could tolerate in her private life, especially when it comes from an insecure manbaby with the tiniest balls and can't catch a teaspoon of responsibility.

Leanna has a personality and a certain strength, I'm sincerely happy she moved on, I wish her the best. Phil Burnell is not fit for a relationship with any sane strong waifu.

Then we got Khet with the Asperger.

So basically the only type of woman who can stand to be with Phil has to be an empty minded simpleton with no aspirations or will of their own. Oh, and will cook dinner each night.

Kat is perfect for him then.

 

[ditto]

So basically the only type of woman who can stand to be with Phil has to be an empty minded simpleton with no aspirations or will of their own. Oh, and will cook dinner each night.

Kat is perfect for him then.

tfw no simple-minded potato-boiling equestrian gf

Spoiler

 

[TheGoutburglar]

@Wurstbrot Those are pretty much my thoughts. What we can easily see of their relationship paints a pretty clear picture of one that only happened because Leanna didn't realize soon enough that at the age of 17, she was already intellectually and emotionally older than Phil. But she still obviously figured that out. They didn't break up because somebody cheated or they both saw that it wasn't working. She walked away from the pigroach because she realized that he's a pigroach.

I've said this before, but it bears repeating: it's hard to believe it pure coincidence that Phil's current relationship is with someone who doesn't seem to have it in them to "realize" anything. Also really telling that even with that being the case, he clearly doesn't tell her everything, presumably out of fear, or just plain old habit.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

I've said this before, but it bears repeating: it's hard to believe it pure coincidence that Phil's current relationship is with someone who doesn't seem to have it in them to "realize" anything. Also really telling that even with that being the case, he clearly doesn't tell her everything, presumably out of fear, or just plain old habit.

Well and I think his TLOU2 and FF7 remake playthroughs have really hammered home how intolerable Phil finds physical or emotional intimacy. Yeah, we all kind of knew that previously, but in TLOU2 before Abby's sex scene he was lashing out at his viewers like some kind of injured animal, was beet red, and appeared to be in such abject misery that he looked like a man on his way to the gallows.

My point is you're right, it's absolutely no coincidence. Relationships are built on intimacy (it feels really stupid to even have to say that) and if someone's legitimately infuriated by even being exposed to other people being intimate with each other, what possible relationship could they have other than one that's a complete sham? If Khet was mentally or emotionally present enough to want to get close to her own god damned husband, Phil would probably react like she had just shoved a dirty diaper in his face. He's with her to prove what a mature adult he is, that's all there is to it. I'd be surprised if he kissed her more than a few times since their scam-financed marriage.

 

[Full Race Replay]

I wonder what the kiss during the marriage ceremony was like.

I'd be surprised if he kissed her more than a few times since their scam-financed marriage.

I bet Kat kissed him on the cheek one or two times to tease him or try to get him to come on, like on stream

 

[Ultrapenguin]

I wonder what the kiss during the marriage ceremony was like.

I bet Kat kissed him on the cheek one or two times to tease him or try to get him to come on, like on stream

Right, that's what I figure: despite how emotionally vacant Kat seems, she's somehow still probably the only party initiating any kind of close contact between the two. When I say "he kissed her" I purely mean in a way he initiated, and I just can't see Phil ever expressing a desire for closeness with another person, so even a few times seems a bit optimistic; he's likely far, far too insecure and emotionally ill developed for that.

And I'm also quite interested to know what the kiss during the ceremony was like. Not to use the whole "shoving a dirty diaper in his face" analogy again, but that's sort of how I imagine his expression.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Since we're on this subject, got two questions for people who've been following a lot longer than I have been:

1) Were he and Leanna ever affection towards one another on camera?

2) Did Phil ever talk about possibly proposing to her?

Also, I've seen a clip of Khet kissing him on the cheek, at his prompting, after which he looks at the camera with an expression that just screams to me that it was entirely for flexing purposes. This fucker has such a bizarre relationship with relationships, I swear...

 

[L.I.M.B. Commander]

Since we're on this subject, got two questions for people who've been following a lot longer than I have been:

1) Were he and Leanna ever affection towards one another on camera?

2) Did Phil ever talk about possibly proposing to her?

Also, I've seen a clip of Khet kissing him on the cheek, at his prompting, after which he looks at the camera with an expression that just screams to me that it was entirely for flexing purposes. This fucker has such a bizarre relationship with relationships, I swear...

I'll answer the best I can...

1. From what I've seen kinda sorta but they had this weird father/daughter relationship.

2. Nope. Leanna had a fake engagement ring for a while before Phil got her an actual one. The reality: Phil had no intention, from what I've seen, on marrying Leanna.

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[Schmeckel]

Since we're on this subject, got two questions for people who've been following a lot longer than I have been:

1) Were he and Leanna ever affection towards one another on camera?

2) Did Phil ever talk about possibly proposing to her?

Also, I've seen a clip of Khet kissing him on the cheek, at his prompting, after which he looks at the camera with an expression that just screams to me that it was entirely for flexing purposes. This fucker has such a bizarre relationship with relationships, I swear...

1. In comparison to the few shtreemed interactions we've seen Dave have with his horse, he was marginally more affectionate toward his daughter. She'd appear in his videos and he'd awkwardly put his arm around her and do what looked like some really...weird caressing on her shoulder or whatever. Like, normally if you had your arm around your SO, you might gently rub with a thumb our your finger-tips (or so I've heard, I'm on Kiwi Farms so I don't have any semblance of friends or a lover, or anything that would indicate I have a ROBUST life). Phil's caressing looked more like he was uncomfortably petting a dog that walked up to him while at a friend's house. Beyond that, though, there wasn't a great deal of anything physical between the two. With regards to their interactions on shtreems and videos, they appeared to have more natural discourse and banter that would indicate a higher level of comfort. She was totally dominating, and he would act like a little bitch when she'd heckle him ("It must be MY fault when the laundry gets done, and MY fault when there's delicious cooked meals..." *Awkward Phil laughter*). She showed him a great deal of affection and he maybe, if I'm being generous, reciprocated with 1/10 of that to her. And that 1/10 is still infinitely more than he's shown towards Khet. He tends to talk about his wife *thumbs toward door* more than he did Leanna because he keeps trying to give off the air of being a real mature married adult Italian-by-way-of-Poland.

2. He might have said SOMETHING about proposing/marrying Panda in passing earlier than it came up when it did....but any real discussion in earnest happened after she made her instasnap post and showed up on shtreem not-so-subtly flaunting the ring over his shoulder. Beyond that, he only used the alleged proposal AFTER the Panda went to a different zoo to mate to get pity-bux from his wheelchairs. I can't imagine him ACTUALLY ever planning to propose to her without her low-key nagging him about it.

 

[UncleTusky]

2) Did Phil ever talk about possibly proposing to her?

No. Until the surprise wedding reveal in April 2019 he insisted he did not have the money to get married and would not even want to get married at the courthouse without a ceremony because it would mean Leanna inheriting his debts. This isn't how inheriting debt works, but I'm a generous guy and will say Phil was too retarded to know better here.

Also, this second part isn't 100% relevant but it's extremely funny:

Leanna tweeted about her fake engagement ring (don't quote me here but I think she actually said "fake it 'till you make it") and Phil did not notice. One wonders if she wore it home and if he noticed it then. A few weeks later, during a Jackbox (party trivia with streamchat participation) stream, a troll got into the chat and managed to submit "Leanna's fake engagement ring" as a possible answer-it appeared on stream too not just in chat. Phil had an "oh shit" moment when he saw the post, barely even tried to pretend it didn't bother him, and went on an unhinged Twitter rant post-stream about how we're no-life stalkers and conspiracy theorists for bringing it up. I am willing to bet money that this brave troll is the reason he tried to entrap proposed to her a few weeks later.

I personally don't think he ever planned on proposing or getting married but that's probably because he thought Leanna was going to be around forever even if he didn't. He obviously didn't make that mistake with Soulmare.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Wow... This brings a whole new perspective to how Phil only uses relationships to look like a big boy.

What a shithead.

 

[Maldron the Assassin]

Leanna tweeted about her fake engagement ring (don't quote me here but I think she actually said "fake it 'till you make it") and Phil did not notice. One wonders if she wore it home and if he noticed it then. A few weeks later, during a Jackbox (party trivia with streamchat participation) stream, a troll got into the chat and managed to submit "Leanna's fake engagement ring" as a possible answer-it appeared on stream too not just in chat. Phil had an "oh shit" moment when he saw the post, barely even tried to pretend it didn't bother him, and went on an unhinged Twitter rant post-stream about how we're no-life stalkers and conspiracy theorists for bringing it up. I am willing to bet money that this brave troll is the reason he tried to entrap proposed to her a few weeks later.

That was my favorite DSP moment. The look of total confusion on his face as his chat slowly reveals it to him is priceless. That was a good day.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

I wonder if Leanna meant to troll him with that...

 

[Iron Father]

I don't know why but the fact Kat is obsessed with hotdogs made me laugh so much. This woman is somehow more braindead than The Pig. Mashed potatoes, Taco Bell, hotdogs. Her last name should be Flintstone or some shit.

 

[KillDeer]

She wanted hot dogs for months but Phil said they werent healthy. So then last week Kat found out that "Turkey hot dogs" exist so they decided to check them out and Phil saw they have "half of the bad stuff" of regular hot dog wieners so they bought them and they taste exactly the same as regular hot dogs so thats the reason they ate them twice in one week.

 

[Kosher Dill]

She wanted hot dogs for months but Phil said they werent healthy.

Paging Dr. Freud, paging Dr. Freud.

 

[Synth]

She wanted hot dogs for months but Phil said they werent healthy. So then last week Kat found out that "Turkey hot dogs" exist so they decided to check them out and Phil saw they have "half of the bad stuff" of regular hot dog wieners so they bought them and they taste exactly the same as regular hot dogs so thats the reason they ate them twice in one week.

I never saw this explanation, but it's glorious if true. This is some 'double quarter pounder with a large fry and a diet coke" level logic.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

She wanted hot dogs for months but Phil said they werent healthy. So then last week Kat found out that "Turkey hot dogs" exist so they decided to check them out and Phil saw they have "half of the bad stuff" of regular hot dog wieners so they bought them and they taste exactly the same as regular hot dogs so thats the reason they ate them twice in one week.

A guy who pours several cups of sugar into tomato soup is not allowed to tell anyone, for any reason, that what they're eating or about to eat is unhealthy. And that's just ONE reason why Phil is out of his league there.

 

[Freshtodeath]

Hotdogs are fine once in awhile. Imagine cooking all time for your husband who sits on his ass all day and declared bankruptcy and he won't let you get hot dogs.