Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Subaru Man Jeff has a somewhat similar appearance to Phil... the dark, hairy type with an oddly shaped head. Although, he's like a decade younger, in better shape and looks quite a bit better. Jeff's weakness is that he works normal jobs and has less money than Phil. He also does outdoor activities which probably annoyed Katherine along with his Marvel addiction. He also is with a far hotter woman than Katherine now that has a decent job, so he's doing well.

I can't feel bad for Jenna. She's a cute, above average looking young woman that would get unlimited attention and support from society if she stopped being retarded. Tutorial mode, if you will. Just shut up and clean yourself up.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I can't feel bad for Jenna. She's a cute, above average looking young woman that would get unlimited attention and support from society if she stopped being retarded

I think it's pretty likely that she's for-real mentally ill. What can you expect?

 

[Iron Hamster]

I think it's pretty likely that she's for-real mentally ill. What can you expect?

Just to be wacky and keep it in the family we could even say she's for-real mentally phil. Begs for a living, has no life, but puts up shitty streams. But even she is not bankrupt.

 

[Fuckyoudad]

I don't think it's been confirmed that she only works 15-20 hours a week but if there is truth to it then that's a lot of free time on her hands. The idea that she'd spend any time at all in his chat seemed too out there before you decrypt Phil's endless obfuscation of real world notions and that if he tells you she's always working hard dood that essentially means she's hardly working at all. If you follow the logic that everything he chooses to share online in the mahdern era is either fallacious or flat out nonsense simply designed to preserve the grift - that he actively tells you he's withholding information that could be used to "hurt" his family then there's a good chance he's talking about things like his wife's "support". Like what is she doing Phil stealing customer credit card details at work to prop you up?

At this point I could at least imagine her within the frame of "my wife helps me out in so many ways behind the scenes guise" being a part of the notion that Phil tips himself on slow days. Water breaks and phone checking could easily be him interacting with her when he thinks it's appropriate for some savior to help project the illusion of success when the pigs aren't coughing up the cash. If he was passing money to her on another account that was to be handed back to him later on for show.. is there legal standing that would suggest this kind of generally harmless yet still clearly manipulative behavior was against paypal's ToS?

 

[DZoomer]

I don't think it's been confirmed that she only works 15-20 hours a week but if there is truth to it then that's a lot of free time on her hands. The idea that she'd spend any time at all in his chat seemed too out there before you decrypt Phil's endless obfuscation of real world notions and that if he tells you she's always working hard dood that essentially means she's hardly working at all. If you follow the logic that everything he chooses to share online in the mahdern era is either fallacious or flat out nonsense simply designed to preserve the grift - that he actively tells you he's withholding information that could be used to "hurt" his family then there's a good chance he's talking about things like his wife's "support". Like what is she doing Phil stealing customer credit card details at work to prop you up?

At this point I could at least imagine her within the frame of "my wife helps me out in so many ways behind the scenes guise" being a part of the notion that Phil tips himself on slow days. Water breaks and phone checking could easily be him interacting with her when he thinks it's appropriate for some savior to help project the illusion of success when the pigs aren't coughing up the cash. If he was passing money to her on another account that was to be handed back to him later on for show.. is there legal standing that would suggest this kind of generally harmless yet still clearly manipulative behavior was against paypal's ToS?

I'd guess that PayPal wouldn't really care. It's not like that's illegal. The company that probably would see a problem with that would be Twitch. As scummy as Twitch is, if one could prove that Phil fakes donations to himself, that may be too much for Twitch to ignore.

But alas, it's impossible to prove that, so...

 

[UncleTusky]

I don't think it's been confirmed that she only works 15-20 hours a week but if there is truth to it then that's a lot of free time on her hands.

It was confirmed in the bankruptcy filing. Her gross income was about $1,350 / month; dividing by King County's $15 minimum wage gives ~90 hours / month or ~20 hours / week. The filing also claimed that she did not work at all in 2018 meaning she did literally nothing that year. I'd have to look but I believe the switch to frozen meals came before she started working (which is a new level of lazy).

At this point I could at least imagine her within the frame of "my wife helps me out in so many ways behind the scenes guise" being a part of the notion that Phil tips himself on slow days. Water breaks and phone checking could easily be him interacting with her when he thinks it's appropriate for some savior to help project the illusion of success when the pigs aren't coughing up the cash.

I'm very skeptical of this line of logic - Phil's description of his relationship with Kat is so unconvincing and contrived that it's hard to see this as anything more than a roommate situation, and her helping him launder money like that blows a huge hole in the idea that he's this rich successful streamer (and let's be honest, that's the real reason she's with him). It would also mean that he couldn't do it/couldn't do it as much on the days when she is working and I don't think he really changes his tune on Fridays + weekends.

EDIT: Added a few words and fixed a typo

EDIT EDIT:

He also does outdoor activities which probably annoyed Katherine along with his Marvel addiction.

In my opinion is the real reason she left him for Phil. By all accounts Kat wants to do nothing all day besides play Skyrim in her office/bedroom (have they even been to Seattle since mid-2018?) and does not appear to be capable of living on her own. From that perspective, she probably either did not care or actively disliked that "Subaru Man" did stuff outside the house whereas Phil was one of the few people alive who shared her (complete lack of) ambitions. I know we can't know what he sent her via Twitter but it's not hard to tell from his feed that he is a complete shutin and spends like a drunken sailor which is right up her alley.

 

[Iron Father]

I can't feel bad for Jenna. She's a cute, above average looking young woman that would get unlimited attention and support from society if she stopped being retarded. Tutorial mode, if you will. Just shut up and clean yourself up.

She's a homeless mongoloid, I doubt it's by choice. Any guy she could land in her condition would probably be a Leonard Lake type serial killer. She needs to be in a mental health institution would be my guess.

 

[Iron Hamster]

All he's got is a roommate that when she finds out she gets half of everything in the divorce might tell him to free the beast.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I think it's pretty likely that she's for-real mentally ill. What can you expect?

I used to think the mom's version of the demon possession story was just the mom's schizophrenia. Her little daughter tried to murder her with a kitchen knife, no sweet little girl would do that.

Now I've seen Jenna in all her glorious insanity. Getting punched in the face at McDonalds for telling a stranger to stop raping her. Accusing everybody including her foster mom of being a pedophile. Screaming in the streets that she is a sand nigger. Posting Instagram pics of things she's stolen and the abandoned buildings she lives in. Trying to summon her dead father's spirit in the middle of a sex for money hook up.

She's a strange lady.

 

[ReentryPhantom]

I used to think the mom's version of the demon possession story was just the mom's schizophrenia. Her little daughter tried to murder her with a kitchen knife, no sweet little girl would do that.

Now I've seen Jenna in all her glorious insanity. Getting punched in the face at McDonalds for telling a stranger to stop raping her. Accusing everybody including her foster mom of being a pedophile. Screaming in the streets that she is a sand nigger. Posting Instagram pics of things she's stolen and the abandoned buildings she lives in. Trying to summon her dead father's spirit in the middle of a sex for money hook up.

She's a strange lady.

The story was, from what Jenna told us, is that the older sister tried to sacrifice her to Satan, and then the mom put the older sister in the closet because she was possessed.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

At this point I could at least imagine her within the frame of "my wife helps me out in so many ways behind the scenes guise" being a part of the notion that Phil tips himself on slow days. Water breaks and phone checking could easily be him interacting with her when he thinks it's appropriate for some savior to help project the illusion of success when the pigs aren't coughing up the cash. If he was passing money to her on another account that was to be handed back to him later on for show.. is there legal standing that would suggest this kind of generally harmless yet still clearly manipulative behavior was against paypal's ToS?

I don't think Phil tipping himself makes any sense, let alone why he'd need Khet for that. For one, if Phil wanted to artificially inflate his tips numbers to project the illusion of success, he could just lie and say a big tip came in without having to fake tip himself. We pretty constantly see a lazier version of this, where Phil just insists he's successful, usually followed by him calling someone a moron, then contradicting himself by saying it was slow and tips help out because he can't afford groceries.

We've also seen plenty of slow days where Phil goes into overtime or begs until he gets something in tips. It isn't about success, it's just about getting money. Him tipping himself would contradict that. Phil also believes that, if people see he's already got money, they are less likely to donate, hence the repeated begging. He wouldn't want to put up his own money because, in his mind, it is less likely to generate tips, since his paypigs think he doesn't need it. He is sometimes smart enough to cause competition, insisting people can dethrone the top tipper or whatever, but I genuinely think Phil is too stupid/lazy to tip himself to try and generate that kind of competition.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Trying to summon her dead father's spirit in the middle of a sex for money hook up.

This one's actually pretty clever if you ask me. It serves to, ah, deflate the customer as well as wasting minutes on the clock.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

The story was, from what Jenna told us, is that the older sister tried to sacrifice her to Satan, and then the mom put the older sister in the closet because she was possessed.

No, reread the court documents. Jenna allegedly attacked the mom with a knife and the mom locked her in the closet for over 24 hours with no food, water, or bathroom. The older sister then told people at school and the police got involved.

 

[Abe Vigoda]

Isn't the most likely outcome that the mom was also a batshit schizophrenic, and the shit-teir genes and horrific upbringing made Jenna just as batshit?

 

[FelixGibraltar]

I used to think the mom's version of the demon possession story was just the mom's schizophrenia. Her little daughter tried to murder her with a kitchen knife, no sweet little girl would do that.

Now I've seen Jenna in all her glorious insanity. Getting punched in the face at McDonalds for telling a stranger to stop raping her. Accusing everybody including her foster mom of being a pedophile. Screaming in the streets that she is a sand nigger. Posting Instagram pics of things she's stolen and the abandoned buildings she lives in. Trying to summon her dead father's spirit in the middle of a sex for money hook up.

She's a strange lady.

PLEASE tell me there's a video of the McDonald's punch situation!!

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

PLEASE tell me there's a video of the McDonald's punch situation!!

She didn't record the fight, but she made a video outside with like a black eye and told the story.

Then she took it down before anyone archived it.

The pic of her black eye is still on here. Look back at like August 3rd

 

[Kosher Dill]

Then she took it down before anyone archived it.

Not quite

 

[Iron Father]

She slapped a guy on his chest and got in his face and then got chokeslammed. That's gold.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Not quite

jenna.mp4

Ah, nice.

The mp4 in your previous post didn't load so I thought it was lost.

Good work!

 

[TheGoutburglar]

@Fuckoffdad Everything Phil says about Khet is automatically filed under "Suspect" for me until we get some cold hard proof that she's still in his life, because he reads the Farms and therefore knows we think she may be gone. Phil doesn't just let stuff like that go, his "mature adult with a business degree and a wife" LARPing is very important to him, our speculation WILL inevitably prompt some kind of attempt to shut us down in some way. Why else do you think he all of a sudden lets Jasper come into his "office" even he clearly hates the cat, and for months didn't want him in there? Because he knows that Jasper's presence makes some people skeptical of the "Khet is gone" theory.

Same probably goes for the line about Khet being so helpful behind the scenes. He's just trying to make it sound like she's there, and that his marriage isn't a sham, because he knows we lean in at least one of those directions, and he ain't having either one.