Keto

[Gus]

you sound fat as fuck

For a 20 meter long underground lizard, I'm actually pretty lean. We'll see when I get older, though.

 

[Zersetzung]

how long should i expect it to take to lose the first 5-10kg or so? i've only been doing keto properly for like the past week and i'm already afraid i might be fucking up slightly without being aware of it.

If you've been eating a normal carby diet you should legit drop that much inside of your first week, but it's just water weight and doesn't really count, but if that doesn't happen then yeah you're probably fucking up you fat glutenous retard.
Everyone has different carbohydrate tolerance: some people can have 50g+ a day and stay in keto. Lots of people try to shoot under 20 or 30g. Personally I aim for zero, but allow up to 10g because organic chemistry and nuts/chocolate. There's blood/piss-testing devices you can buy meant for diabetes-having submammals if you really need solid metrics.
It takes a week or two to really calibrate to your new metabolic shit so don't feel too bad during this period (and legit make sure you're getting your potassium etc during this period or you will definitely feel like shit) but if you don't see that early drop you're probably fucking up you garbage flesh golem

blah blah [fat mouth noises]

you're not fooling anyone

 

[Marissa Moira]

Does the keto diet allow for Monster Zero Ultra?

Also how is the pork rind bread in the keto diets, like what does it taste like?

 

[419]

If you've been eating a normal carby diet you should legit drop that much inside of your first week, but it's just water weight and doesn't really count, but if that doesn't happen then yeah you're probably fucking up you fat glutenous retard.
Everyone has different carbohydrate tolerance: some people can have 50g+ a day and stay in keto. Lots of people try to shoot under 20 or 30g. Personally I aim for zero, but allow up to 10g because organic chemistry and nuts/chocolate. There's blood/piss-testing devices you can buy meant for diabetes-having submammals if you really need solid metrics.
It takes a week or two to really calibrate to your new metabolic shit so don't feel too bad during this period (and legit make sure you're getting your potassium etc during this period or you will definitely feel like shit) but if you don't see that early drop you're probably fucking up you garbage flesh golem

well i have managed to drop about 5kg or so in the first 1-2 weeks so there is some progress at least. if i manage to combine it with enough weight training i should be looking forward to next month or so.

on another note, fathead dough is the shit if you're on keto. i tried out this recipe for a tortilla chip alternative using the dough and it goes fucking insane with guac.

 

[Anti Fanta]

A Keto diet and giving up alcohol has put me in the best shape of my life. I've never been a fatty (apart from one year of ridiculous boozing but we don't talk about that) but I've never been particularly lean either until now. I feel less 'heavy' and much sharper both physically and mentally. It's quite tough at first but well worth the results so make sure you stick at it if you decide to try it.

 

[Gus]

you're not fooling anyone

it is I who is foolish to reply to bait

 

[Hecate]

well i have managed to drop about 5kg or so in the first 1-2 weeks so there is some progress at least. if i manage to combine it with enough weight training i should be looking forward to next month or so.

on another note, fathead dough is the shit if you're on keto. i tried out this recipe for a tortilla chip alternative using the dough and it goes fucking insane with guac.

ive never really liked the taste and texture of almond flour, but ill have to try this out

as a side note, how long do you guys think it took null to give up?

 

[419]

Enjoy your hypoglycemia !

niggas who've never heard of fatty acids or gluconeogenesis be like

 

[Stoneheart]

It's the Atkins diet renamed.
If you compare the 2 side-by-side, the only thing that changed are the terms used.

Original Atkins

 

[Ndnd]

Cheese Chips
hard cheese like cheddar, Parmesan or Swiss tend to work best for this. I like extra old cheddar cheese because it’s so flavourful.

Preheat your oven to 425 F

Grate some the cheese and place into little piles on a lined baking sheet.

Bake until the edges are golden and allow to cool completely.

Roast Chicken
1 whole chicken, 4-5 lbs
1 head of garlic
1 whole onion, cut lengthwise into 1/8 sections
Salt and pepper to taste
Fresh thyme
1-2 Tbsp Olive oil

Preheat your oven to 400F. If your chicken is frozen, allow it to fully defrost and come up to room temperature.

Season the inner cavity of the chicken with salt and pepper. Stuff it with the onion, a sprig of fresh thyme, and head of garlic.

Truss up the legs and drizzle the olive oil all over the skin of the chicken and massage it in with your fingers. Season generously with salt and pepper.

Place the chicken breast side up in the pan and roast at 400F for 15 minutes or until the skin just starts to brown. Bring the temperature down to 325F and roast for another 20-25 minutes.

Remove the chicken from the oven and allow it to rest for 15 minutes and remove the onion, thyme and garlic from the cavity.

The leftovers are great in chicken salad! I like mine with curried mayo, cayenne pepper, avocado, finely diced red onion, and bit of lime juice.

Bulletproof Coffee
16oz strongly brewed coffee
1 Tbsp coconut oil
1 Tbsp heavy cream
1 Tbsp unsalted butter
Pinch of kosher salt

Note: you absolutely need a blender for this in order to break up the fat. It doesn’t need to be fancy. I use a knockoff Magic Bullet and it works fine. A stick blender would work as well.

Blitz everything in a blender until the mix resembles a foamy latte. Drink while hot. It’s loaded with fat, but only comes in at 282 calories per serving.

Strawberry Ice Cream
Makes 2 servings

You’ll need a blender or food processor for this.

Ingredients:
1/2 cup of frozen strawberries
1/4 cup of heavy cream
1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract
Low carb sweetener of your choice (optional)

Pulse the frozen strawberries until they break up into small chunks.

Drizzle in the heavy cream a bit at a time and blend on low. Add the vanilla extract and sweetener and blend thoroughly. It should be similar in consistency to soft serve

 

[Fliddaroonie]

I've been put on keto by my GP, for epilepsy. Anyone got any advice on how to get back to solid poops and not feeling like fucking death, while staying on it please?

 

[janedoe]

two weeks into keto and i really hate it. not because i'm hungry or have cravings, in fact i am rarely hungry and struggle to even finish meals. i'm thirsty more than anything.
it's just the taste i can't stand. i hate the way fat coats my tongue. i hate putting heavy cream in shit. i hate cheese. bacon used to be my favorite and now it's getting so old. i have been trying so many different meal ideas but it's all just so gross lol

i definitely chose the wrong diet. or the right one, since my binge eating is non existent. can't tell if it's because ketosis is in effect or if i just dread eating these meals and my body is like NO.
i haven't hopped on the scale, bc tbh i wasn't fat when i started this, just flabby. i wanted to get cut enough for my muscles to show, since i have been lifting weights more and more and i heard low-carb diets would be good for getting rid of water weight.

anyway, i'll keep at it for a month, but afterwards i'm just going to stick to clean eating. hopefully my metabolism hasn't been ravaged by this shit haha because i am going to need a lot of protein for muscle growth.

 

[feral cat #6385]

Keto taco shells are god tier

1. Get round provolone cheese slices

2. Microwave on parchment paper for like 2 minutes (depends on your microwave idk), cheese should have started to brown

3. Hang them on a towel rack or similar horizontal bar shaped item (paper side down obviously don't be a barbarian) and let them cool off and harden into delicious taco shaped objects

Never tried it with that type of cheese. I use a mix of shredded cheddar and mozzarella. Cooked in the oven on wax paper at 350-375 degrees until it starts to brown.

 

[Bezmenov]

Does the keto diet allow for Monster Zero Ultra?

Also how is the pork rind bread in the keto diets, like what does it taste like?

Necro'ing this
Answering the first question: yes. 5g carbs but 2g are Erythritol so 3g net carbs (in b4 "dirty keto")
Answering the second, never done pork rind bread but have done pork rind & almond flour breading for stuffed chicken breasts and they turned out pretty good, not quite panko but still pretty good. When you're processing the rinds, you'll want to take your rind crumbs to a paper towel to get as much of the oil out of them as you can otherwise they tend to gum up when you're mixing it with the almond flour.

Keto is good if you can stick to it, I've been on it for a while now and combined with IF (8/16 or sometimes 6/18 ) it's completely overhauled my life. Plus, seeing all my friends who got fat as shit during quarantine/lockdown has only motivated me further to stick with it indefinitely.

Investments:
Spiralizer - good for zucchini/squash noodles. Obviously not the same as pasta but at 1/10th the calories it's a big improvement. Put em in paper towel to get to most of the moisture out and discard the center seed spirals because they're 99% water. Blanch em for a minute in boiling water to get them up to temperature. Serve em with whatever pasta sauce you make, just did carbonara with bacon and it was great.

Food processor - good for cauliflower rice, if you're lazy or bad with a knife you can make pretty short work mincing a head of garlic or a root of ginger. See above re: calories vs. the original. Cauliflower rice is also roughly 1/10th the calories. Soak up as much moisture as you can with a paper towel and fry that shit in a wok with some peanut oil and a little sesame oil and it's a fine staple.

Food scale - if you're going hardcore into the world of macros then it's essential for meal planning.

Piss strips - when you first start out it's a good idea to keep track of your ketosis, once you know and feel comfortable in it you can probably scale down how often you check because you'll sort of naturally know if your body is on the right track. I checked twice a day for the first 2-3 weeks I was in it just to make sure I wasn't fucking up.

Also, switch up the recipes; don't fall into the meme of Bacon and Avocado 24/7 because you will burn out. Lots of asian and indian recipes work totally fine with little to no modification, plus there's plenty of websites/cookbooks with recipes that are easy enough to acquire.