Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Glif has some shit to say about Cobes...
 
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AnOminous said:
No you should just chimp out like a jackass any time someone talks about something you're not interested in. That improves the thread quality immensely.
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Non-sequiter dude, but your outrage posts read in a John Goodman voice are what keep me going when I have to continually write the same shit over and fucking over in professional emails at this point. Good god YES I WILL FILL OUT THE PAPERWORK BY 4PM, BERNICE.
 
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Agares said:
I'm just imagining him being gifted a Mountie hat and watching it slowly decay into a pie high.
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If I remember right, a fan got him a genuine Akubra which is a high quality Australian made hat, which usually last a lifetime. I wonder what became of that (or is it the pie high hat?).

Occasionally I feel sorry for the boy, like when he thought he was about to smoke some Cuban cigars but it turned out to be an elaborate troll of a glitter bomb, or the time someone sent him a cool hat but it was too small and didn't fit, and trolls told him he had to break it in and he hurt himself trying to squeeze it on.

Poor Cobes, can't win 'em all.
 
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There are tons of gifts I think he would appreciate but he either wouldn’t care because it’s not booze or cobra themed.

He probably would like Harry Dresden book series, but even getting an audio book to work is too much for him.

Tools for his juan business is a waste. He’ll either kill or horribly maim himself with anything more potent than a screwdriver.

Guitars? He would ‘play’ once or twice and that’s it — unless there is a cobra on it.

I’m kinda surprised he never figured out how to pawn shit. I remember it being said he had an entire closet of ‘fan gifts’. Just hundreds of dollars worth of webcams and iPhone stands waiting to be sold
 
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BubbaRobot887 said:
Am I the only one who is shocked that someone as drunk as Cobra is all the time manages to do as much cooking as he does without starting a fire?
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He already has. If you are referring to something more destructive it's probably only a matter of time. He sticks to an electric skillet because he wants "to keep his stove clean". Not much damage he can do with a microwave and electric skillet, but life finds a way.
 
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Grape Garden said:
He already has. If you are referring to something more destructive it's probably only a matter of time. He sticks to an electric skillet because he wants "to keep his stove clean". Not much damage he can do with a microwave and electric skillet, but life finds a way.
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One of the first Cobra videos I ever watched. Knew I'd be in for a ride the moment he revealed that seething vantablack failed chemistry experiment in his wizard's cauldron.
 
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Star Spangled Bogger said:
If I remember right, a fan got him a genuine Akubra which is a high quality Australian made hat, which usually last a lifetime. I wonder what became of that (or is it the pie high hat?).
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If that was a black leather cowboy hat, I think that's the one that became his current pie high. Turns out finely crafted Australian leather isn't rated for boglims.
 
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Bixby Snyder said:
I don’t think his resistance is ‘legendary’ as much as he just suffers off-camera with god knows how many issues. He clearly is in pain from his teeth, doesn’t eat for a possible multitude of reasons, his appearance has aged him well over a decade than his years, and he seems to have mini-seizures on camera. Hell, even his speech is drastically different from the Lesbian Aunt days.

Boy is not long for this world at this rate
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He visibly suffers on camera with god knows how many issues. The legendary resistance is referring to how he hasn't hospitalized himself or required serious medical intervention so far. He has eaten raw/improperly prepared food countless times, improperly stores frozen food in the refrigerator, abused multiple substances to date, leaves prepared food out to nibble on for days, and lives the most sedentary of lifestyles.
 
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BoglimTeacher said:
He has eaten raw/improperly prepared food countless times, improperly stores frozen food in the refrigerator, abused multiple substances to date, leaves prepared food out to nibble on for days, and lives the most sedentary of lifestyles.
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I honest-to-god thought you were talking about Jack Scalfani. The "aunt myrna's party cheese salad" guy.
 
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IsaacShraeder said:
One of the first Cobra videos I ever watched. Knew I'd be in for a ride the moment he revealed that seething vantablack failed chemistry experiment in his wizard's cauldron.
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At first I wasn't sure if the color was the pot or the oil, but the rich brown color of the oil as it boiled over told me all I needed to know. It's the exact shade of brown as one of those Coke-flavored Icees, like one you'd get at a gas station.

Homemade gutter oil, TWU.
 
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