Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

Games said:
Funny you should mention the holes in the wall because that's something Josh does on a blue moon. Forget the video but he remarked one time that he flipped out and smashed his head into the bathroom wall, put a bunch of holes in it. They had to come in and repair them prior to him leaving.

Don't know how the fuck he did this but he's managed to put a hole in his old ceiling.

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Edit: I totally forgot about this one but now that I recall, he actually blasted a hole through his chair sometime in 2017 too. I forget why but I wanna say it was because he was angry about not having a job and something to do with his goatee.
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Even though I know he's capable of it and have seen a couple of his recorded outburts, it's still strange to think that Josh is capable to wrecking shit to the extreme. He just comes off as so lethargic that for him it might be a chore to even kick a door down or put multiple holes in the drywall.
 
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Dick Pooman said:
Null said he might do a MATI person stream about Josh. I might be impartial, but I think Cobra would make a really great episode. Just wait until he finds out about Josh's literal wizardry and abilities to turn stoplights from red to green with his magic wand.
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TMDWU! I want to see his reaction to Kobes' cooking videos and mukbangs.
 
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Ellesse_warrior said:
TMDWU! I want to see his reaction to Kobes' cooking videos and mukbangs.
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He really is like an eccentric autistic onion. There's always another layer. The "french frys" one where he almost burns down his kitchen with hot grease is one of my favorite videos of all time with no exaggeration.

 
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He has countless autistic tendencies and phrases that you can't pick up on immediately, him being a "slow burn lolcow" is true for sure. The more you watch the more you learn and the funnier it all gets

edit:
Speaking of phrases, anyone new to this thread should know about https://lolcowgo.net/ it's instant fun
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Broseph Stalin said:
Even though I know he's capable of it and have seen a couple of his recorded outburts, it's still strange to think that Josh is capable to wrecking shit to the extreme. He just comes off as so lethargic that for him it might be a chore to even kick a door down or put multiple holes in the drywall.
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It's not that he's strong, so much as he laser focuses on the object of his ire when he flies into a psychotic rage and repeatedly hits it until something breaks. He'll kick/stab/punch something until he gets gratification.

Mr Sister said:
He has countless autistic tendencies and phrases that you can't pick up on immediately, him being a "slow burn lolcow" is true for sure. The more you watch the more you learn and the funnier it all gets

edit:
Speaking of phrases, anyone new to this thread should know about https://lolcowgo.net/ it's instant fun
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There's also a comprehensive and growing list of Josh's malpropisms on The Cobrapedia under the Linguistics section.

Linguistics - The Cobrapedia

thecobrapedia.miraheze.org thecobrapedia.miraheze.org
 
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Generic Retard said:
He really has become the tourettes guy, but instead of "Bob Saget!" it's "Fuuuuuuuuuuck" and it isn't staged.
I just wish it wasn't because of his alcoholism though.

Maybe there will be a new "Cobes is your neighbour ASMR" soon.
The first one was so on-point I had a complete breakdown laughing my ass off.
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TMDWU!

Edit: The fall really cracked me up :lit:
 
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@Null Please include the legendary “deep frtd avocado” video in your Cobies stream.

Also, there’s got to be a “best of DTTS” video out there somewhere.
 
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Here's the first two streams from yesterday:
Start:
Doing a video response to a video about vegan booty. Vegan teacher bad. Puts on an Isayic Butterfield video for 2 seconds. Kobes doesn't care if your vegan. Talks about vegan booty going into Louis Vuitton covered in period blood, top less of all things to protest. Not an alcoholic. Cage free eggs.
3:02:
Back to the video for 2 seconds. Vegan teacher and vegan booty are the reason people hate vegans. Back to the video.
4:35:
Kobes pretending he doesn't care about his haydurs. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Kobes was offended by the vegan teacher using the enword. This is the kind of crap that will make people eat meat. Back to the video.
6:20:
People pretend to be couches when certain things are allowed in society. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Doing a Halloween offer on bonfire. Anyone who buys a shirt will get a shout out. Back to the video.
8:00:
Kobes respects women but he wants to call them cunts and smack them. Back to the video.
9:48:
Shows off some shirts fans sent to his PO box. He got a 420 demon ninja shirt. Vegan booty rant. He also got a snake skin button up shirt. Vegan booty and vegan teacher rant while he cleans up. Back to the video.
14:36:
Vegan booty rant. Fake Australian accent coming in nicely toobz. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Calls vegan booty and vegan teacher cucumber cunts. Nit an alcoholic.
17:26:
Says he'll be posting his Patreon videos tomorrow. Shills his Patreon. Back to the video. The only Isayic Butterfield video he didn't like was the one he did on crystals. Vegan rant. Fake Australian accent coming in nicely toobz. Back to the video for 2 seconds.
19:40:
Scenario of being a farmer. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Complaining about Tee Spring taking down his store. Back to the video for 2 seconds.
21:27:
Plant murder. Back to the video.
22:37:
Explains the fight between vegan booty and the farmer. Kobes wouldn't hit a woman unless it was self defence. Back to the video.
24:00:
Reads what's written on the screen. Scenario of meat eater protesting a farmers market. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Reads what's written on the screen. Vegan booty period protest rant.
27:00:
Back to the video for 2 seconds. Shills a hoody. King cobra OF? Shills Patreon. Back to the video. Vegan booty rant.
31:36:
Meat eaters don't act like extremist vegans. Imagination argument with vegan. Back to the video.
32:57:
Gender relations Double standards in sex offenders. Back to the video.
34:06:
People don't eat their dogs. Kobes explains evolution. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Vegan teacher 9/11 rant. Thanks fans who sent him cigarettes. Back to the video.
36:25:
Kobes hates mongoose but they play an important part in the cobra eco system. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Vegan booty is a cucumber cunt. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Vegan booty is frail from her vegan diet so no need to get violent with her.
38:36:
Kobes respects women even when they are cunts. Back to the video. Vegan wedgie. Gender relations in sexual harassment. Back to the video for 2 seconds. No means no regardless of gender. Back to the video.
41:49:
Scenario of meat eater wanting all over the farmers market to protest vegans. Back to the video.
Start:
Says he's not wearing the shirt he received with the Japanese writing because he googled what the writing meant and found out it meant rapist. He tore up the shirt and threw it away. Fuck rape in all forms. Shills his anti rape shirt. Kobes doesn't care how long his dry spell lasts, fuck rape.
3:42:
No beer. He's going to send the replacement wands tomorrow after he gets his Patreon money and pays his rent. Shills ocean hero.
5:28:
Back to ranting about the shirt. Reads chat.
7:09:
You don't have to buy his merch or send money to his PayPal. Boglim chronicles is ripping off his content. He's trying to get into a habit of not wearing the same shirt for more than 5 days. Talks about his new snake akin shirt TWU.
8:32:
Marijuana tells him he hates rape. Fuck the haters he focuses on his supporters. Muh tism.
10:00:
Shows off his Mrs. Green staff.
11:10:
Reads the receipt for the shirt and threatens to dox the sender. Gives put his name and town.
12:40:
Kobes would still be famous even if he stopped streaming for a month. Reads chat. Says if you want slow mode off on chat send money to his PayPal and he'll take it off for a couple of streams. He's lowered his price to $30-$40. Reading chat. Stream ends abruptly.

New merch Ring Cobra
RING COBRA.PNG
 
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... The dumbass got booted out of teespring for using THAT EXACT same cobra design as someone has copyright'ed it. now he's using it on the new store...

He just doesn't learn at all.
 
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GrinningCat said:
... The dumbass got booted out of teespring for using THAT EXACT same cobra design as someone has copyright'ed it. now he's using it on the new store...

He just doesn't learn at all.
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I think it was @Games who figured out it’s a clip art included on this website he’s now using.
 
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Umaibae said:
I think it was @Games who figured out it’s a clip art included on this website he’s now using.
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It was @Dick Pooman on this post for history's sake.

Also this new Wendys order, I wish I knew what the person thought when they saw that come in.

Wendy’s Big Bacon Cheeseburger Double with bacon jam, mayonnaise, ranch sauce, smokey honey mustard, bourbon and bacon sauce, lettuce, crispy onions, crinkle cut pickles, sweet onions, tomatoes, jalapeño slices, avocado, american cheese slice, creamy cheddar dip, cheese sauce, american cheese slice, shredded cheddar cheese, applewood smoked bacon, cheddar bun.

Baconator fries with mayonnaise, ghost pepper ranch sauce, applewood smoked bacon, cheddar cheese sauce, shredded cheddar cheese, and extra bacon.
 
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Genetic Mt. Dew said:
Wendy’s Big Bacon Cheeseburger Double with bacon jam, mayonnaise, ranch sauce, smokey honey mustard, bourbon and bacon sauce, lettuce, crispy onions, crinkle cut pickles, sweet onions, tomatoes, jalapeño slices, avocado, american cheese slice, creamy cheddar dip, cheese sauce, american cheese slice, shredded cheddar cheese, applewood smoked bacon, cheddar bun.
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Toppings: yes

This is almost as hedonistic as the $65 pizza hut big box dinner.
 
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Dick Pooman said:
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Ok here's a cut of Josh tripping on his gothic throne worn out prospector hat. Probably the funniest yet saddest thing I have ever seen.
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That baldness/thinning makes DSP look like Fabio in comparison. There’s a point in most men’s lives where you just have to accept the fact that you can no longer rock the long, metal hairstyle of your youth.
 
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