Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Your Landlord]

Write up a fake scientific paper about a newly found link between pheromone soap and women murdering their ex-boyfriends/husbands.

"69% of all homicide victims were wearing Tactical Soap at the time of the murder."

Adding on: and he is directly blamed for making it so popular in the first place. Sort of like that school shooting bit.
" gawdammit, this is the kind of crap that gives weed, the devil, and MY music a bad name!"

 

[underoo underarmour]

Write up a fake scientific paper about a newly found link between pheromone soap and women murdering their ex-boyfriends/husbands.

"69% of all homicide victims were wearing Tactical Soap at the time of the murder."

This would be amusing, but I doubt you'd need to actually even fake the study. You could probably get away with a video or social media post that references studies, he's not going to read them. In fact, if it was implied that smart people already know about the phenomenon he'd play along like he was already aware.

One could take it a step further and list ways to "cleanse the chemical signature" such as eating nothing but the strongest smelling canned seafood products or using feminine odor products. Cobes smashing a case of sardines while spraying himself down with summers eve and fds... I would very much enjoy such a video.

 

[Rotogravure]

Write up a fake scientific paper about a newly found link between pheromone soap and women murdering their ex-boyfriends/husbands.

"69% of all homicide victims were wearing Tactical Soap at the time of the murder."

Abstract:
In recent years, the burgeoning market for pheromone-infused grooming products has raised questions about their potential psychosocial impacts on interpersonal dynamics and attraction. This study investigates the potential behavioral consequences of “Tactical Soap,” a popular pheromone-laced soap marketed for its purported enhancement of male attractiveness. Through an extensive cross-sectional analysis of 500 women whose ex-partners reported regular use of Tactical Soap, we observed an unexpected increase in self-reported aggression and impulsive behavior towards their former partners. Notably, 30% of participants disclosed intense feelings of frustration, possessiveness, and, in rare cases, homicidal ideation linked to encounters with these ex-partners post-application of the soap.

To isolate the potential effects of Tactical Soap, we conducted a double-blind trial on a subset of participants with varying levels of romantic dissatisfaction and perceived olfactory sensitivity. Findings suggest that the heightened pheromone response, possibly triggered by unique androgen-mimicking compounds within the soap, amplified perceived masculine traits to a degree that precipitated aggressive instincts in female participants. Further analysis indicates a potential interaction between soap-derived pheromones and latent emotional predispositions, amplifying unresolved relational frustrations. This study proposes a new frontier for pheromone-related research, examining how olfactory enhancement products might inadvertently impact emotional regulation and aggressive behavior in ex-romantic partnerships.

Keywords: pheromone, Tactical Soap, attraction, aggression, relationship dynamics, olfactory

 

[funscape]

Write up a fake scientific paper about a newly found link between pheromone soap and women murdering their ex-boyfriends/husbands.

"69% of all homicide victims were wearing Tactical Soap at the time of the murder."

"What up, toobz? Gothic King Cobra back at it again with another video. So, yeah, I’m done with my tactical Bond soap. Those pheromones worked a little too well on my psycho ex, fucking Jessica Boyle—she’s straight-up obsessing over me again. So there's this scientific paper, it says exes can get violent, even murderous from the pheromones. It is what it is toobz. But no skin off my shoes. The hot goth chicks won't be able to resist this sexy bad boy. Trust and believe."

 

[underoo underarmour]

Impact of Strong Deodorants and Seafood Consumption on Pheromone Signaling

Introduction:
Pheromones, chemical substances released by animals, including humans, play a significant role in social interactions and mate selection. However, the influence of modern hygiene practices, particularly the use of strong deodorants, on pheromone signaling remains largely unexplored. Additionally, the potential impact of dietary choices, such as seafood consumption, which may contain compounds with pheromone-like properties, is another understudied area.

Research Question:
To what extent do strong deodorants and seafood consumption affect human pheromone signaling, and how might these factors influence social interactions and mate selection?

Methodology:
A multi-faceted approach will be employed to investigate this research question:
* Pheromone Analysis:
* Sweat Collection: Sweat samples will be collected from participants under controlled conditions, both with and without the use of strong deodorants.
* Chemical Analysis: Gas chromatography-mass spectrometry (GC-MS) will be used to identify and quantify the volatile organic compounds (VOCs) present in the sweat samples, including potential pheromones.
* Behavioral Assays: Participants will be exposed to the collected sweat samples in controlled settings, and their behavioral responses, such as attraction, aversion, or neutral reactions, will be observed and measured.
* Dietary Influence:
* Dietary Surveys: Participants will complete detailed dietary surveys to assess their seafood consumption patterns.
* Blood and Urine Analysis: Blood and urine samples will be collected to measure levels of specific compounds found in seafood, such as omega-3 fatty acids and certain minerals, which may influence pheromone production or perception.
* Sociopsychological Assessment:
* Questionnaires: Participants will complete questionnaires to assess their self-perceived attractiveness, social confidence, and mating success.
* Social Interaction Observations: Participants will be observed in social settings to assess their interactions with others, including nonverbal cues and social behaviors.
Expected Outcomes:
This research aims to shed light on the complex interplay between human behavior, pheromones, and environmental factors. By understanding how strong deodorants and dietary choices may influence pheromone signaling, we can gain valuable insights into human social interactions and mate selection. The findings of this study may have implications for personal hygiene practices, dietary recommendations, and even the development of novel products or treatments that enhance human attractiveness and social well-being.

 

[Light-Blue Yoshi]

Now make a men's rights MGTOW comedic reaction video about it cause our boy ain't gonna read all that

 

[Sicko Hunter]

Incredibly kino thumbnail.

 

[Lesbian Sleepover]

The peace offering dates back deep in the lore of the Cobra verse. Think about scrapper Steve when they had an actual like a peace Treaty ceasefire thing. This is the same deal where you eat a pizza or in this case, a sandwich or whatever and it's a peace offering. It's an olive branch and you're supposed to accept it. Except she doesn't live fully in his weird world

 

[Law]

Josh claims he sent Jessica a "peace offering".

Simp!

How fucking wild would it be for a lolcow to get a traumatic brain injury; the kind that rewires your whole brain and makes you have a whole new personality, and come out of it normal, sane, and intelligent.

This was kind of what happened to Pad when he got on anti-depressants.

Incredibly kino thumbnail.

He looks like he's 60 years old, Jesus.

 

[Smegward]

Someone should send him Allen's coffee flavoured brandy. It should be close enough to get a reaction.

 

['Ole Dente]

Write up a fake scientific paper about a newly found link between pheromone soap and women murdering their ex-boyfriends/husbands.

"69% of all homicide victims were wearing Tactical Soap at the time of the murder."

You have to make it 70%. 7 is a magic number and he believes in it hard, like REALLY hard. It’s one of those weird semi-forgotten quirks of Cobra, he would obsess over the numbers 3 and 4 because they’d add up to 7. He read about it in some Pagan magic thing and then Harry Potter really reinforced that, it just itches the autism in his brain.

The peace offering dates back deep in the lore of the Cobra verse. Think about scrapper Steve when they had an actual like a peace Treaty ceasefire thing. This is the same deal where you eat a pizza or in this case, a sandwich or whatever and it's a peace offering. It's an olive branch and you're supposed to accept it. Except she doesn't live fully in his weird world

It’s a regular custom to break bread to heal riffs. It comes from the jews but it permeates a lot of Christian areas of the country.

You can tell that Josh is really trying not to be an asshole about this but she makes it impossible with how much of a retarded cunt she’s being.

Edit:

Pure retard kino. Enhance photo, Jarvis.

It’s beautiful.

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

The peace offering dates back deep in the lore of the Cobra verse. Think about scrapper Steve when they had an actual like a peace Treaty ceasefire thing. This is the same deal where you eat a pizza or in this case, a sandwich or whatever and it's a peace offering. It's an olive branch and you're supposed to accept it. Except she doesn't live fully in his weird world

I knew I'd heard him reference a peace treaty before like he's actually at fucking war. At least this time around, that's closer to the truth.

Oh, Cobies...

 

[Racist Parrot]

View attachment 6633320

Pure retard kino. Enhance photo, Jarvis.

View attachment 6633324

It’s beautiful.

Oh god he's too clear, grease that picture up some.

 

[Youtube Celery]

How fucking wild would it be for a lolcow to get a traumatic brain injury; the kind that rewires your whole brain and makes you have a whole new personality, and come out of it normal, sane, and intelligent. Can you imagine the nightmare if Cobes woke up from a coma non-retarded and no longer bog-brained and had to see first hand his life and his antics through the eyes of a sane and reasonable person? It’d be like waking up after a night of partying where you got a little too drunk and made an ass of yourself so you feel that morning after embarrassment and shame… only it’s your entire life. Your current circumstances. Imagine Josh having the lucidity to look back and see every single place where he went wrong, where he was a fool and a boglim, how miserable the state of his life is now and all of the things he did that lead to it. They say “if only you knew how bad things really are”. But imagine waking up one day and you have an epiphany and you become acutely aware “how bad things really are” all at once

Like Neo waking up from the Matrix but instead of learning humanity are living batteries in a destroyed world run by robots you wake up and learn you’ve been a retarded internet clown, a fucking boglim your whole life

I'm taking notes from this for my first webtoon comic "that time I was reincarnated as a boglim".

Or could you imagine a perfectly normal family man swapping bodies with Cobes? A race against time to undo Cobra's sicko spell before the agony of Cobra's body drives him insane.

 

[BallBuster II]

So I see he made a drink with Amaretto, I can't believe it took him this long to find that. He used di Amore too, which is the bottom shelf, 40 proof trash. Yea it tastes fine, but it is way too sweet, for an already sweet by design alcohol. The most popular brand is obviously Disaronno which is 56 proof, not as sweet.

Now anyone who used to steal Mom and dad's liquor when they were kids I am sure got into the amaretto or sambuca once or twice in their lives and woke up the next morning regretting it. After dinner drinks have high sugar content and aren't meant for pounding, but for sipping. They will make you miserable if you drink too much. The fact that he had poured at least 1 half glass of the stuff is just crazy. Yea the alcohol % is low but it is just proof that the guy has an iron stomach. It's far from the worst thing he has ever consumed, but it is just crazy to think about consuming so much of such a sweet alcohol.

 

[biggacracka]

NAL will be back in Casper in 3...2.. Maybe she can spend Christmas in Casper. That would be a trip.

So I see he made a drink with Amaretto, I can't believe it took him this long to find that. He used di Amore too, which is the bottom shelf, 40 proof trash. Yea it tastes fine, but it is way too sweet, for an already sweet by design alcohol. The most popular brand is obviously Disaronno which is 56 proof, not as sweet.

Now anyone who used to steal Mom and dad's liquor when they were kids I am sure got into the amaretto or sambuca once or twice in their lives and woke up the next morning regretting it. After dinner drinks have high sugar content and aren't meant for pounding, but for sipping. They will make you miserable if you drink too much. The fact that he had poured at least 1 half glass of the stuff is just crazy. Yea the alcohol % is low but it is just proof that the guy has an iron stomach. It's far from the worst thing he has ever consumed, but it is just crazy to think about consuming so much of such a sweet alcohol.

It's probably not even sweet enough for him, judging by his sugar slop MEAD

 

[bonified retard]

The peace offering dates back deep in the lore of the Cobra verse. Think about scrapper Steve when they had an actual like a peace Treaty ceasefire thing. This is the same deal where you eat a pizza or in this case, a sandwich or whatever and it's a peace offering. It's an olive branch and you're supposed to accept it. Except she doesn't live fully in his weird world

The pizza party with Steve was like 2 years after the Summer drama, well after they already made up. He 100% sent that sandwich order to her by mistake (again). This "peace treaty" was a spin to make him look less dumb imo.

 

[Quandale Octavius Dingle]

I have no clue about the intricacies of wine, but from what I've gathered... Has Cobes finally discovered bum wine? Boy looks EXTRA frazzled.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

I have no clue about the intricacies of wine, but from what I've gathered... Has Cobes finally discovered bum wine? Boy looks EXTRA frazzled.
View attachment 6634555

He's undergoing some form of Transbolglimfication for sure, I think it's that he's entering middle age biologically so that last flush of youth" he has is finally leaving him and he's turning into his final form.

 

[biggacracka]

The bogrysalis is complete, soon our beautiful boggerfly will emerge