Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Mr Sister said:
If there was a video to do timestamps its probably this new drink combo one. He gets hammered fast. 27:45 admits he likes the Twilight movies, 29:50 says he likes to drink his own blood when he gets nosebleeds, 31:00 digs through cigarette butts for a smoke... I'll watch the rest later lol I have it downloaded in case it gets deleted but idk how to compress it well it's too large to upload
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This one seems like it's good enough to get a relatively quick Bitesize version, I notice with the reletive dry spell (lawl) of interesting videos that the minute one of them is actually interesting, he jumps right on it.
 
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Jord has been dry on the milk lately, but this video seems promising for once. I tuned in for a little while, but it was 3am my time and my sleep is more valuable than watching a retard in Wyoming sit like a toddler on his dead dog’s chair.
 
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This bloody-mouthed inbred smells good.

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Raise your goblets of Tequila and candy flavoured food colouring for Bitesize :drink: . I've edited the video archive posts ITT to include his timestamps. Will start archiving the older videos with the timestamps once I get a chance.


edit:
0:26: says his fan mail video got blocked because of a copyright strike.
1:28:Shills po box
2:00: Flavour enhancers from his care package. Shoutout to Courtney
3:10: Drink combination is tequa and flavour enhancers. Tried to make the pizza again yesterday but burnt it
4:30: #notallautists
5:00: struggling to open packet. Calls himself a sperg
6:25: flavour in glass. Goes to get a spoon.
7:00: stirring. Pretty blue colour. Natural fruit juice flavour.
8:00: flavour takes all the burn out of the tequa and makes it go down too smooth. Be careful you don't get too drunk.
9:48: Says its 10:17 am where he is (Angela he's drinking tequila!)
10:48: shills merch, shills PayPal, KingSoapraJFS
11:50: smurf tongue. Smurf of age pussy joke.
12:50: trying tutti frutti flavour. Tequila is 42%. Dangerous to drink because of how smooth it is.
15:10: talking about his vday album
16:02: Drink 2 destroyed. Can feel the burn when it hits his stomach. Looks like blood.
17:12: Green apple flavour. Green is Kobes favourite color. Calls himself a sperg and retard. Owning the trolls by calling himself a retard.
19:30: syrup turns black because of the previous drinks. Goth as shit.
21:30: Green apple is sour. Shoutout to his video sponsor- the fans.
22:28: Drink 3 destroyed.
23:31: next combination is cherry. Free advertising for Jelly Belly
26:06: This one also looks like blood yes x2
Youtube Susan wouldn't like him to puke on stream. He's lucky his channel is still up because of his content.
27:56: Twilight is good.
28:46: his whole mouth is dyed from the syrup.
29:53: talking about how he drinks his nosebleed blood. Blood tastes good.
31:26: squeezing cigarette butt's into his pipe.
32:14: talks about how he can suck the life force and energy out of people just by being around them. LMFAO
33:31: vampires magic protects them from sunlight. They can wear sunscreen.
34:30: kobes believes in vampires, aliens and ghosts. Talking about how he can fill his pipe from used cigarette butt's.
35:44: vampires are his favourite movie monster because they are goth and he has seen bats irl. Bats R Kool.
37:27: Katy Williams, Ron White and Jeff Dunham are his favourite comedians. Ron White just tells it like it is. Kobes and homeboy Scotty went to see Ron White story.
39:48: George carlin made a mean joke about Wyoming
40:42: pretty mean to name asperghers after the dude who discovered it. Ass burgers jokes.
43:31: what's the deal with airplane food stand up routine. Then it's just a weird rant about scenarios on planes that didn't happen.
48:25: back in my day we had frosty the snowman. Olaf BTFO
49:09: talking about when he and Clint cleaned his old apartment
50:25: kobes lives his new apartment. He's never had any complaints. Burnt his pizza last night but eventually wants to get that food hack right.
51:39: complaining about airport food
53:39: shills people suck I need a beer shirt for paddy's day.
55:29: sneeze
55:52: sneeze
56:18: talking about his dream weed combinations. Encourages his fans in states where weed is legal to grow it. More about weed.
58:13: pronouns rant
59 39: pedo rant
1:01:08: shows off his ozzy tattoo. No homo.
1:02:29: Daniel filth shriek. Talking about people who can't shriek like Daniel filth. Talks about his album.
1:04:52: kobes isn't afraid to be himself and tell it like it is and that's why he has haydurs
1:06:07: destroys his drink and instantly regrets it.
1:07:30: countdown to dirty 30
1:08:17: shills tapestry. Someone bought tshirts TMDWU.
1:11:10: tries to put his headset on with his hat still on
1:12:40: watches fashion nova swimsuit haul. Cute of age blonde, smash the like button bro. Creepy reaction
1:17:02: White bikinis are not racist rant
1:18:30: back to being Creepy. gender relations rant. And back to Creepy.
1:22:17: kobes would unsubscribe from these types of channels and close his x videos account if he had an of age goth GF. Talking about his dry spell and gender relations
1:24:09: drink combination. All flavours with tequila. Jelly Belly #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement tequila #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement
1:26:29: kobes watches hot of age chicks on youtube for their quality content not because they are attractive
1:28:98: back to the Creepy reaction. Kobes has lots of of age chicks who want to fuck him but trolls are cock blocking him.
1:31:20: bathing suit cover ups are gender inequality. Back to Creepy reaction.
1:33:40: youtube censors men for dancing in cock holsters but let women be naked on youtube rant. Gender relations rant. Back to Creepy reaction.
1:37:05: women are catty cunts rant. Back to Creepy reaction.
1:38:36: hiccups. If kobes wasn't live he would be jerking off right now. Chaturbate is great. Complaining about women with hiccups. If she's too fat for you it's body shaming. Gender relations rant with hiccups.
1:45:40: rant about being called Creepy in school for being Creepy towards girls in his school. Ethics of sunspots and bathing suits. Ranting about nit being allowed to Fat shame fat gorls in bikinis. Body shaming movement works for women but not for men ???
1:50:40: drinks and instantly regrets it.
1:51:17: gender relations rant.
1:53:00: Stephanie one piece bikini in job core story. Rant about one piece swimsuits.
1:58:55: gender relations rant. Keeps calling women cunts.
2:00:45: Creepy reaction. Slows down the video so he can lurk moar.
2:02:15: he will one day go to a bar and a hot of age goth chick will recognize him from youtube and end his dry spell.
2:04:20: fixing his boner
2:05:25: calls women cunts again with his mic
2:06:53: poot
2:07:25: vocal cover kansas dust in the wind
2:11:35: vocal cover dunno what song
2:16:00: destroys drink. Vocal cover 6am life is beautiful
2:20:26: mic RIP
2:22:08: vocal cover papa roach blood brothers
2:23:51: polishes off the tequila. Spits it out. Gonna save it for later. Mid song pipe break.
2:28:15: back to the song
2:29:30: explains papa roaches lyrics
2:30:21: spits up tequila.
2:30:40: back to the song. Keeps fucking up.
2:32:36: stumbling
2:33:35: smoking cigar butt
2:35:33: sneeze
2:38:00: passing out
2:40:56: gets pizza
2:43:02: passing out

 
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The PO box has potential to lead to some interesting food hacks. People sending weird food for him to try or non-alcoholic drinks. With how a-logy his viewers are it's going to be full of cheap vodka and dildos. Josh isn't interesting enough on his own, he's a smelly retard who needs to tard wrangle other retards into being video material.
 
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ASMR vid
The Boglim King feasts on pigs' feet at the stroke of midnight

This is more unsettling and cursed than for the obvious reasons.

Umaibae said:
Jord has been dry on the milk lately, but this video seems promising for once. I tuned in for a little while, but it was 3am my time and my sleep is more valuable than watching a retard in Wyoming sit like a toddler on his dead dog’s chair.
Click to expand...
I'm glad for the break of his gender relations rants.
 
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Summary:
It's midnight so he's whispering. Drinking water. Eating pigs feet for our sick entertainment. 2:00: pigs feet asmr. Says they taste okay.

Edit: Starting with 2016 archives
Drink combo and guitar playing 2016-01-02

Josh tells the wine snobs to stuff it (2:50-4:07) | Very Cultured wine tasting (5:00-6:56) | Making and tasting root beer liqueur and red wine drink combo (7:00-13:00) | Very bad guitar playing (16:00-End)

political bull shit 2016-01-02

Just Josh talking politics he has no understanding of. Very boring.

Playing my created gta 5 online deathmatch on the ps3 2016-01-03

It's a poorly framed video of Josh playing GTA V. Nothing interesting in this one.

Ordering a sling for my shotgun 2016-01-04

Josh talks about ordering a sling for his shotgun. Boring and useless video.

talking about my gta 5 online deathmatch 2016-01-04

Josh talks about his failure to record a screen (Start-2:10) | Josh talks about his deathmatch he created in GTA V (4:16-6:54) | Josh gives his opinions on GTA Online and player created matches (6:55-10:30) | Josh talks about a specific match of his created game mode that irked him (10:31-12:15) | Josh rants about how he hates kids playing GTA V and the parents that enable them (12:45-19:05) | The rest of his video is him talking more about his created game mode

smoking a cigar and doing a drink combo 2016-01-06

Dank cigar smoking (Start-3:28) | Josh struggles to open a bottle (4:25-6:20) | Crazy whiskey and monster drink combo (7:30-10:30) | Talks about Bailey's party and powerball (10:30-11:35) | Josh talks about making ice cream bread for Wendy's crew xmas (12:00-13:12) | Josh talks about the dangers of dating after winning the lottery (15:30-16:12)

my poitical and other topics 2016-01-09

Regurgitated mainstream political opinions with a jarring interruption for tobacco products talk (Start-36:00) | On men, women, and the dating scene (36:00-49:39) | Abrupt segue into King Cobra snakes that turns into a rant about Playboy magazine (36:00-1:05:57) | More enlightening political views (1:05:45-End)

powerball has gone up 2016-01-10

Josh talks about the powerball (Start-2:35) | Josh talks about making ice cream bread (2:35-4:16) | Josh fantasizes about winning the powerball (4:17-End)

I think I might be asexual 2016-01-10

Ice cream bread talk (Start-3:16) | Josh thinks he might be asexual (3:26-7:43) | Josh hopes his plans with Bailey work out (7:44-9:47) | Josh talks about HB Scotty being a ladies man (9:48-11:54) | Josh talks about dating and sex (12:00-16:17) | Josh smokes to medicate his asperger's and ADHD (16:18-19:02) | On asexuality, society, and women (19:33-26:25)

eating some ice cream bread 2016-01-10

Josh announces he didn't go to the work party and eats ice cream bread (Start-1:50) | Josh vents about an impersonator online (1:52-4:40) | Josh talks about his youtube experience, why he uses youtube (4:58-6:07) | Josh is sorry he didn't make an ice cream bread video, gives play by play description of him making ice cream bread (6:07-9:17) | Josh vents again about his online impersonator and his trolls (9:18-11:36) | Responds to a comment about ice cream bread, talks more about eating ice cream bread (12:45-13:58) | Josh responds to a comment by talking about his experience with his social anxiety (18:00-20:37) | Let's do a fat line of this snuff (21:00-22:12)

Rest in peace Lemmy from Moterhead and David Bowie 2016-01-11

It sucks losing two musicians, Lemmy and David Bowie. Josh drinks a Camel Black Extra as tribute to the fallen + a moment of silence (Start-3:07) | Medical marijuana would've saved David Bowie's life *sips* (20:21-21:20)

Ranting 2016-01-12

Story about clogging his toilet and slipping on the floor. (00:57-4:49) | Josh tells a joke and explains it right afterwards (5:48-6:52) | The mystery of the missing mail key (6:53-8:20) | Josh relates life to a video game (8:20-9:25) | Josh talks about his music getting played on the radio (10:10-11:02) | Josh talks about his fans and why he won't get a PO box (11:05-13:50) | Josh talks about his sense of humor impacting his daily life then tells a bad joke (13:52-14:50) | Josh gives kudos to the people who fixed his toilet (14:52-16:30) | Josh talks about almost breaking his phone then gets into a rant about cussing (16:33-20:45) | Josh rips some fat lines of blueberry snuff (20:50-25:11) | Josh talks about unhealthy habits (25:55-30:15) | The movie Idiocracy scares Josh and relates it to the 2016 Paris terrorist attacks (30:16-32:07) | It's legal to kill pedophiles in some parts of the world (41:04-42:51) | Justice can be a cruel mistress and weed vs alcohol (42:57-46:00) | How cannabis cures hangovers (46:02-49:23)
 
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KillThemCrackasBabies said:
Has he bothered with a "girly beer" like the Steel Reserves or Mike's Hard ever since he started his MGTOW phase? I know he's always tried to enjoy Jack given it's manly, apparently cowboy-like aesthetic but I wonder if he's trying to make a point to abstain from the kind of alcohol that allegedly got him made fun of in favor of more traditional "gentleman" drinks like whiskey and tequila.
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Speak of the Gothic Devil, he's drinking an Angry Orchard tall boy right now on his "video responce" stream. He just called out people for saying that he drinks "girl drinks" hahaha
 
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Kobes' latest video responce stream:

Start: checking out his hair. Going to re do his pizza food hack again.
0:59: going to do a video response to Hinter Avallone. Plays an excerpt from love and vanity.
2:30: angry orchard hard apple cider #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement
3:15: definitely not complaining about March being womens history month
4:45: sneeze
5:01: wyoming was the first state to allow women to vote. Gender relations rant. Calls women nasty slags.
11:00: saying he's drinking girly drinks is toxic masculinity. Going to do his pizza bacon food hack again later. Screaming sicilia pizza is his new favourite pizza #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement
12:41: Marlborough nxt #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement cigarettes cause more cancer than the kingcobraJFS subreddit. Rant about his subreddit trolls.
14:50: rant about womxn and feminazis. Massive burp in the middle of making his point. Explains how the clitoris works.
17:18: shoutout to chaturbate
18:19: back to ranting about womxn. Keeps burping.
19:56: feminazis. Gender relations rant
21:27: scenario of couple in Walmart with a crying baby to explain why he's okay with his dry spell
22:37: reads whats written on the screen. Gender relations rant.
24:50: more booze. 10.6% alcohol beer. Rant about feminazis
27:00: complaining about people telling him not to drink so much. Gender relations rant.
29:40: Does an episode introduction and theme song for his livestream in the style of DBZ. Talks about DBZ.
31:25: poot. Gender relations rant.
33:18: plays the video for more than 2 seconds. Gender relations rant.
34:46: parrots whats said in the video
35:23: feminazis need dick. Romantic bath and cake scenario. Back to Gender relations rant. Really just complaining about women.
40:00: ranting about gender relations. Society is making it too easy for him to constantly rant about gender relations
41:35: parrots whats said in the video
46:06: parrots whats said in the video
46:38: equality doesn't exist because "the gays" can have a parade but straight people can't have a parade. It's ridiculous youtube
48: 14: plays the video for more than 2 seconds. Culture wars rant. Kobes believes in free speech. Lists off all the things he doesn't think free speech applies to.
50:35: phone on airplane mode. Take that trolls.
51:11: you cannot please everyone youtube. Pigs feet are delicious. Might do a cheeseburger with the when he finally hacks the pizza with bacon.
53:29: Kobes goes live when he wants to. Talks about the wands he's making. Rant about womxn.
55:03: back to video. Keeps burping. Rant about Mr. Potato head being transphobic. 56:20: LIBERRERIAN and something about a belly stars story teaching people to knock off their racism
57 56: back to video. Rant about racism. Tucker carlson is right though that people use racism and sexism to distract from the bigger issues. We live in a society.
1:00:00: the Western world is going to be turned into a dictatorship and people are too busy fighting over the wage gap to notice. Wyoming pride. USA
1:02:20: ranting about paying taxes and Compares his wand business to mcdonalds. Rant about 1%.
1:04:41: rant about universal health care and weed. Keeps burping. Says some figures that probably should be checked. Chomos get the death penalty.
1:06:53: back to ranting about Mr potato head
1:08:00: Hunter Avallone makes a joke about it being a conspiracy to ensure Jeff Bezos doesn't pay taxes and kobes goes on a rant about having to pay taxes on his wand business and the 1%.
1:11:13: government is doing sneaky experiments with aliens and we have to pay taxes.
1:12:10: rant about area 51 raid
1:13:20: men in black movies were real. Don't ask him how he knows.
1:14:24: Gender relations rant.
1:15:16: very creepy about the of age chick in the state Farm commercial. I hope he never says "Joshy like" again
1:16:30: reads a post someone sent him from Sydney Watson's social media about couples who are obese and skinny. Rant about trolls bodyshaming couples.
1:18:40: he's going to make his pizza hack happen and maybe do a stand up comedy routine. Rant about double standards.
1:20:40: Kobes accepts he will probably become obese because of his lifestyle. He will get an of age sexdoll I he eventually doesn't end his dry spell. Scenario about getting a lap dance off his hypothetical of age sexy girlfriend. Rant about weight.
1:25:00: has the hiccups. Someone bought a tapestry, and tshirts. Shills his merch.
 
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Did anybody catch what the "I'm sorry" stream he did tonight was all about? It was removed by the time I saw the notification.

Edit: nevermind, he ended up restarting the stream. I still have no idea what the title is about. So far it's self-pity incel stuff.
 
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RollingRock said:
I have no idea what the drama is about but he is live
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beat me to it, any speculation? He just literally now mentioned his neighbors "shouldn't have to put up with that crap" so I imagine a neighbor came by and told him to shut the fuck up.
 
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