Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

I think redditors just feel the need to inject their politics into everything. How else are they going to feel good about themselves if they can't mock an autistic drunk for not knowing or caring who their lord and savior Bernie Sanders is.
Yeah, Josh totally doesn't know who Bernie Sanders is. He only obsessed over Bernie during 2016 and voted Trump to spite Hillary. He wanted Bernie over Biden in 2020. During 2021 he would still talk of Bernie's nomination being stolen. Sanders wanted legal weed, which is Josh's #1 issue.
 
Let’s say you wake up one morning and were freaky Friday body swapped with cobra and there was no hope to get to your old body and switch back. What would you do? Just off yourself? Continue business as usual living cobra life? Make the best of it? Try to turn things around?
There is a big chance for josh to have a normal life. He is just to arrogant and pathetic to accept a normal workers life with all its hard work, financial and other limitations, since he wants too hold up the idea he is something "special" with all his magic and cobra shit.

In the given situation, waking up in Josh body i would do the following:

1. Stop drinking
2. Taking a shower
3. Shaving my beard
4. Getting a proper haircut
5. Wash my clothes
6. Getting a job with has low challenges for social abilities

Josh is not a 60 year old bum with total braindamage. If he stops drinking and whining, a workers life might be possible. But he wants to play the misunderstood genius instead of facing life like a adult.
 
What about his YouTube career?!

Josh thinks his YouTube subscribers count is the one big redeemer. A lot of what he says is bullshit lies to seem cool. I think the YouTube arrogance is real though. He frequently talks down to others because they only have a few hundred or acts like he was doing someone else a favour. My favourite is how he tells stories where people from high school (a fucking decade ago) find out he has 30k+ subscribers and is a big star.

I kinda wish half those accounts weren’t dead so he could have a Mass Unsubbing. I really would like to see his reaction
 
There is a big chance for josh to have a normal life. He is just to arrogant and pathetic to accept a normal workers life with all its hard work, financial and other limitations, since he wants too hold up the idea he is something "special" with all his magic and cobra shit.

In the given situation, waking up in Josh body i would do the following:

1. Stop drinking
2. Taking a shower
3. Shaving my beard
4. Getting a proper haircut
5. Wash my clothes
6. Getting a job with has low challenges for social abilities

Josh is not a 60 year old bum with total braindamage. If he stops drinking and whining, a workers life might be possible. But he wants to play the misunderstood genius instead of facing life like a adult.
josh couldn't even mop floors at wendy's. there's no hope for him besides living on a street corner selling "magical" sticks and giving random guys BJs.
 
No he was fine mopping the floor it's those dang jugs of sweet tea that set him up for failure.
Those companies must get tax credits for hiring disabled people. If he wasn’t such a lazy careless fuck, chances are he could work a very simple job. I don’t think he’s too dumb to work, he just don’t put in the effort to learn or even care (story of his life)
 
There is a big chance for josh to have a normal life. He is just to arrogant and pathetic to accept a normal workers life with all its hard work, financial and other limitations, since he wants too hold up the idea he is something "special" with all his magic and cobra shit.

In the given situation, waking up in Josh body i would do the following:

1. Stop drinking
2. Taking a shower
3. Shaving my beard
4. Getting a proper haircut
5. Wash my clothes
6. Getting a job with has low challenges for social abilities

Josh is not a 60 year old bum with total braindamage. If he stops drinking and whining, a workers life might be possible. But he wants to play the misunderstood genius instead of facing life like a adult.

Josh is a haircut and a shower from turning it all around
 
Josh thinks his YouTube subscribers count is the one big redeemer. A lot of what he says is bullshit lies to seem cool. I think the YouTube arrogance is real though. He frequently talks down to others because they only have a few hundred or acts like he was doing someone else a favour. My favourite is how he tells stories where people from high school (a fucking decade ago) find out he has 30k+ subscribers and is a big star.

To be fair, it's the only thing Josh has ever earned if I had a YT channel and had 100 subscribers I'd feel chuffed that 100 people want to pay attention to me - I know Josh has a rather nasty relationship with his subs and has zero legitimate fans but he's got them off his own merits as twisted as it sounds.

About his YT channel, I think it would be best for his mental health just to bin it off, close it don't look back but it's also his only social connection even if it's a one way communication he's really socially awquard when you see videos of him going out he's always sitting off to one side on his own nursing a beer not even trying to be social with the other bar flys. His streams are something he's doing to not feel so alone and he isn't someone who does well on his own, but the only way he gets attention is getting wankerd and chatting shit he can't do with anyone else and he'll have a bunch of captive listeners and for him that's enough.

He's isolated from his family, His "Friends" only show up when they can sponge off him, he's got no place to go, so if he did the smart thing and binned off YT he'd also have to readjust his life in a way he's not able to stop from going down right crazy.
 
There is a big chance for josh to have a normal life. He is just to arrogant and pathetic to accept a normal workers life with all its hard work, financial and other limitations, since he wants too hold up the idea he is something "special" with all his magic and cobra shit.

In the given situation, waking up in Josh body i would do the following:

1. Stop drinking
2. Taking a shower
3. Shaving my beard
4. Getting a proper haircut
5. Wash my clothes
6. Getting a job with has low challenges for social abilities

Josh is not a 60 year old bum with total braindamage. If he stops drinking and whining, a workers life might be possible. But he wants to play the misunderstood genius instead of facing life like a adult.
This ain't it. You hear this line with a lot of reddit-logs and honestly you heard it with Chris Chan even 10 years ago. I understand the argument but it's really just a cope. I understand that for a lot of people holding down a job is a real source of pride but with inflation even a $15/hr job (even in places like Casper WY - if you look at the website for Cobra's apartment building even a shitty ass one bedroom like his costs $700/month now) honestly just is not worth it. If you're at that level, and lets be honest Cobra isn't, you would literally be better off not working bc not only would you qualify for state rental assistance programs, you would also be eligible for foodstamps and possibly even medicaid which if you didn't know is literally the best insurance you can possibly get, there are no co-pays the government literally pays for everything (as close as you'll ever get anyways).

So if you're like Josh, working a job (again this depends on the state) means that you often 'make too much' to qualify for medicaid which means that unless your walmart job is giving you real healthcare (which it doesn't, last I checked they wanted $250/paycheck - half your wages - for a $5000 deductible employee sponsored health plan) which is to say that you literally can not afford medical care just because you took a job. That's not even getting into other more specific programs that would 10x your quality of life. Is having a job with no prospect of "moving up" or eventually qualifying for a job that would provide you with a real life and medical coverage really worth giving all of that up? Not unless you are a fucking idiot...

I'm assuming based on my past experiences that the people making these sorts of arguments are not too far away from Cobra on the SES ladder. If I'm right about that, I just want to let you know that no one cares that you have a job. In America, a loser is a loser - and a loser that is "too good" to accept government handouts (all wealthy people do this by the way) is not only a loser but a stupid loser.

Also, how many times do I have to tap the "Cobra is LITERALLY retarded" sign?
Walmart Greeter
Cobra can not even bathe himself properly or work well with others. He would be making super inappropriate jokes and maybe even wind up getting aggressive/violent with store goers. Also do you really think Walmart want to be hit with the smell of human shit right when they walk into the store?

Remember when Chris got fired from Wendys for doing that Donald Duck impression and scaring a child, even after his manager told him to stop? Well with Cobra I imagine it would be about the same, but it would be an incel rant instead of a Donald Duck voice...
 
Cobra can not even bathe himself properly or work well with others. He would be making super inappropriate jokes and maybe even wind up getting aggressive/violent with store goers. Also do you really think Walmart want to be hit with the smell of human shit right when they walk into the store?
Have you been to a Walmart lately?
 
No he was fine mopping the floor it's those dang jugs of sweet tea that set him up for failure.
No, he admitted once that he kept getting in deep shit from using dirty water to mop and not cleaning well. I forgot which stream, but he said someone had to keep coming back and clean the spots that he missed.
 
Cobra can not even bathe himself properly or work well with others. He would be making super inappropriate jokes and maybe even wind up getting aggressive/violent with store goers. Also do you really think Walmart want to be hit with the smell of human shit right when they walk into the store?

Remember when Chris got fired from Wendys for doing that Donald Duck impression and scaring a child, even after his manager told him to stop? Well with Cobra I imagine it would be about the same, but it would be an incel rant instead of a Donald Duck voice...

No, he admitted once that he kept getting in deep shit from using dirty water to mop and not cleaning well. I forgot which stream, but he said someone had to keep coming back and clean the spots that he missed.

Some places have those jobs designed to fill a roll in society (and tax credits or funding to the employer) and give them something to do, not every special needs person can do the job they ask but they give them a lot of leway and it takes seriously bad performance for them to bin you off - Chris claims it was the donnald duck impression but the staff didn't like him and he couldnt do the basic duitys they gave him so had to bin him off, with Cobes they just cut his hours back hoping he'd take the hint and try and find another job.

Cobes could do well in something where he could work on his own with occasional interaction with others, but it would have to be something that doesn't require much in the way of analytical thinking where you can learn the hard and fast rules easily.
 
Cobes could do well in something where he could work on his own with occasional interaction with others, but it would have to be something that doesn't require much in the way of analytical thinking where you can learn the hard and fast rules easily.

He would need a make work position with literally no responsibilities and no contact with anyone but the occasional coworker.
Josh at his peak 10 years ago had issues getting to work on time and following simple instructions, there is no way he would be able to be productive these days after years of social isolation, alcohol addiction and severe cognitive decline.
I'd love to be full of hope, but in his current state he's really as successful as he realistically can be (without his dad and youtube money he'd just be another Warlord and likely dead or in jail).
He literally got kicked out of a vocational boarding school for slow-in-da minds for smoking pot and screwing a grapefruit.
There is no silver lining for people like Josh, I'm afraid.
 
He would need a make work position with literally no responsibilities and no contact with anyone but the occasional coworker.
Josh at his peak 10 years ago had issues getting to work on time and following simple instructions, there is no way he would be able to be productive these days after years of social isolation, alcohol addiction and severe cognitive decline.
I'd love to be full of hope, but in his current state he's really as successful as he realistically can be (without his dad and youtube money he'd just be another Warlord and likely dead or in jail).
He literally got kicked out of a vocational boarding school for slow-in-da minds for smoking pot and screwing a grapefruit.
There is no silver lining for people like Josh, I'm afraid.

I was looking at his area and while it's isolated its a semi- rurual area there are plenty of jobs in that sort of environment he could do but your right his brain is far to addled to maintain a job most people could do with little effort.

If he got himself sober he could do more but getting him sober is the problem, then keeping him sober when he has a setback.
 
Yeah, Josh totally doesn't know who Bernie Sanders is. He only obsessed over Bernie during 2016 and voted Trump to spite Hillary. He wanted Bernie over Biden in 2020. During 2021 he would still talk of Bernie's nomination being stolen. Sanders wanted legal weed, which is Josh's #1 issue.
he though trump/biden wanted to legalize weed. his whole personality is nothing but drugs.
 
This is just a thought but does Clint have any form of legal power / responsibility over Josh? I know his SSDI is paid to him not cobes but does that mean he has other control as well or the power to force him into a rehab etc? He's always been delayed and clints took him to psychiatrists in his youth because of his behaviour etc and it wouldn't shock me to find out Clints got some custodial roll legaly because of that.
 
If he got himself sober he could do more but getting him sober is the problem, then keeping him sober when he has a setback.

He doesn't want to be sober.
Even back when he was living with Clint he'd drink a while lot of energy drinks and started smoking as soon as the law allowed it.
Even during the Wendy's Era he consumed a lot of alcohol (he'd post his booze hauls on facebook).
The only thing keeping him from becoming an actual alcoholic was having a finite amount of cash and being regarded with money which meant he'd immediately ran out of money after getting his check.
He always was defiant and impulsive and has an addictive personality (see porn, spice, alcohol, caffeine), people like him usually end up in a perpetual loop of homelessness and imprisonment, especially with his very limited intelligence.
 
Back