Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

Are things looking up in the Cobraverse? Actual content has been uploaded?

I know posting shit from the Reddit is frowned upon, but Jesus Christ this is the most retarded thing I've ever seen in my life. Someone got a tattoo of Cobes mugshot:

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Devious Dave said:
You know maybe joshes life would've turned out better if someone introduced him to Warhammer at a young age maybe he could've dropped the goth thing and got into painting and putting together figurines
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Warlord has already tried. Cobes just tunes out whenever he would sperg about the Space Wolves or whatever the fuck. Also i'm sure he would somehow manage to be even more bankrupt than he already is if he got addicted to plastic crack. Not to mention he barely has the motor skills to carve a shitty table leg looking wand. His models would rival the worst painted "two thin coats" memes.
 
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IKEBURNER said:
The socks, rings, and wand stay on.

Fuck sickos and fuck the forbidden 17

Cobra owns our sad pathetic lives yeeeessss TMDWU
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Cobes is the total package, a outlaw bad boy who will listen to a woman and spend time in the kitchen. Imagine being the lucky girl who comes home beer soaked pizza, garnished in handcrushed Doritos. Not to mention a man who’ll talk about her first period and bra fitting, because he respects the female godess.

Jokes aside, if there was a girl out there who fell under our dark lords spell, she could probably get him somewhat in line. He might listen to an of age gothic girlfriend when she tells him not to have bud lite and cigarettes for breakfast.
 
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DrNow said:
Not to mention a man who’ll talk about her first period and bra fitting, because he respects the female godess.
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Hi, my name's King Cobra, and, uh, something you might not know about me is that I have a good attitude towards menstruation!

That's right, I'm the guy! The guy with a good attitude towards menstruation!

Oh, I know a lot of men are made uncomfortable by this monthly miracle. But not me. No, I embrace it. Embrace it the way the way some men embrace the weekend! Why, I anticipate it the way a child anticipates Christmas!

Did you know that, uh, in a lot of native Indian cultures, menstruating woman were forced to leave the village, lest their powerful magic should overwhelm the Shaman?

If I were Shaman, I wouldn't be so competitive. I'd be more open and giving. I'd be a shaman with a good attitude towards menstruation!

'Cause after all, what is it? A cluster of blood vessels, awaiting a fertilized egg. Providing a safe warm place for that egg to grow. And if a life does not occur, the whole thing is flushed away, and the cycle begins again. Now is that anything to be ashamed of or disgusted by? No! This is the nesting stuff of humanity!

That’s why the woman I shall love will be able to menstruate as fully and freely as she desires.

Even if her monthly flow should build in intensity to a raging rust colored torrent!

An unbridled river of life giving blood flowing from between her legs!

An awesome cataract plunging off the edge of our couch! I wouldn’t be phased!

No, no, even if coureur de bois would come up stream, battling the rapids, and singing a jaunty song!

I would take no offense, rather I would ford across that mighty womanly river, and fetch herbal tea and Pamprin. And then I would mop her brow and admire her fecundity.

For I have a good attitude towards MENSTRUATION!
 
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DrNow said:
Jokes aside, if there was a girl out there who fell under our dark lords spell, she could probably get him somewhat in line. He might listen to an of age gothic girlfriend when she tells him not to have bud lite and cigarettes for breakfast.
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Doubt it. It would probably go like this.
 
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Devious Dave said:
I'll say it I think his apartment is a lot cleaner than I would've imagined he's not as much of a hoarder than I would've thought
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It looks clean, but all the fabrics and surfaces are either mildewy or sticky, and it definitely smells awful. But as for the hoarding, Cobes just doesn't buy anything but booze anymore. Hard to hoard when all you spend money on is takeout and alcohol.

I AM shocked that he isn't a bottle-hoarder, like most alcoholics tend to become after they leave high functioning territory.
 
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Devious Dave said:
I'll say it I think his apartment is a lot cleaner than I would've imagined he's not as much of a hoarder than I would've thought
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I think he doesn't uses his bedroom, at least not anymore. It's my theory that he just sleeps in his bogchair and do most of his living there and the kitchen. You can see in his video that these are the most unkempt rooms
 
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biggacracka said:
I think he doesn't uses his bedroom, at least not anymore. It's my theory that he just sleeps in his bogchair and do most of his living there and the kitchen. You can see in his video that these are the most unkempt rooms
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That's how it happens when you live and drink on your own, you drink yourself stupid pass out, wake up and don't see the reason of going to bed any more unless your that hungover the beds closer to your bathroom.
 
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bonified retard said:
Doubt it. It would probably go like this.
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I mean he's in his 30s now as long as he understands he needs to have pretty low standards he could probably find some 30 year old woman but she's gonna have to be as bad as he is or worse
I wanted to add on to this he is basically a 13-15 year old so maybe he would be able to make some girl feel young
 
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Josh could still get laid but he needs to get his hygiene back to the level he was at in his 20s, ironically before tactical soap and even then the taker is big-chancing some bacterial infection like Summer. The teeth as they are too, he'd be better off without them even. Cyrax, Cool Taste, etc. can get someone. Losing his hair still is a big blow to his ego that affects him and was one of the things that turned him into an isolated alcoholic. His hygiene was the thing that ultimately turned off Goocheese. Cobes still has a lot of pride and ego.

For as much as the dry spell stuff bothers him, I have no doubt that he lasts like 5 minutes max with foreplay. Going off the video of him masturbating to Chaturbate, it's him furiously wanking for a couple minutes while whispering about sickos then spilling out on the carpet without cleaning it. Ultimately, he misses companionship and has said it himself often. So getting laid isn't it and that's why it all comes back to Stephanie. Everyone else including Summer did not provide him what he misses when he gets upset about his dry spell.
 
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biggacracka said:
New video
I had to re-encode the video because the original was slightly too big
View attachment 4243446
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He was so hurt that it didn't contain alcohol. Stupid thoughtless thoughtful package. He was so sure he was about to get wasted. Legitimately looked like he was going to cry. How is he going to fund his addiction without the ability to go live? Dummy should have ordered his sim card immediately so he can operate his 2fa. On another note, BOY is looking real bald today.
 
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