Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Big Dogs Gonna Eat]

Man dude, he's messed up lmao. Imagine going to someone else's house and getting absolutely sloshed like that.

Do you think he managed to stumble back home or do Walt and Angie let him pass out on the couch?

It wouldn't be that strange if it was friend group of dudes in their early 20s, but the endearing thing about most of the characters in the cobraverse is they all exist in that mental state still.

 

[Captain Ahab]

Josh is just too boring to attract anyone. All he wants to do is sit at home and drink. I don’t think he even watches movies or plays games. He literally does nothing and would have nothing to talk about with a potential partner. He claims to be a rockstar but can’t even play a basic scale or a chord on top of being completely fucking tone deaf. He claims to be a warlock wandmaker but he doesn’t know shit about magic or spirituality, and his wands look like something a retarded child would make.

He‘s as bland as it gets. Women will forgive a lot, but being boring is not one of those things.

 

[Bixby Snyder]

It will be interesting to see how he copes if he loses his YT channel. I know he will blame it on the trolls but I think his 'Youtube Fame" is the only real thing he holds up as proof he's a success.

Also, I think everyone here knows Cobes is unattractive, weird, dumb as fuck, and going no where fast -- let alone picking up a woman.

I'm just kinda surprised he hasn't thought of banging out a Casper whore (literal one). Especially with all the Feminist and MGTOW videos about either it being liberating for the woman or just being a man venting some 'needs'.

Also, could the clip channels just cut his shit up from wherever he streams and upload as usual?

 

[cgk qqq]

In this case cobes might be right his trolls are more pathetic than he is

cobes had a line a while ago where he said "my trolls are more obsessed with me than i am with alcohol"
im starting to believe him

 

[GG Allin illegitimate Son]

If he loses his YouTube channel, he will just bitch at YouTube for not understanding he’s autistic and say he was so famous the trolls got jealous and had to get him kicked off YouTube. That right there is proof he controls their sad and pathetic lives.

Not much will change and the story will stay the same.

 

[BoglimArchives]

Dude even cyraxx has a girlfriend I think Cobra can manage to find someone it might not be someone we would ever consider dating but I think he can find a bottom of the barrel woman

The problem is not necessary the woman, the problem is Josh. It’s like….look, granted there is some homeless crack-fiend out there that would bang Josh, without question.

The problem stems from Josh. He will die on the hill of “I control me, you don’t tell me what to do or emotionally influence me, go fuck yourself.”

I remember this time he was on the phone with this woman who was reasonably attractive, local and was ready to fuck him. They dated for like a day, and it didn’t last longer than that because she said “If you don’t get over here, I’m going to kill myself.” Josh responded with “Yeah? Maybe you probably should” then hung up. He will dump perfectly good pussy on a whim, it is amazing to see. Also why he’s so goddamn alone. Homeboy is completely unable to make concessions or attempt to communicate, he’ll end shit on a dime for little reason. So even if he gets a chick, it never lasts that long. He dumps them or they dump him. The guy is fucking unmanageable.

 

[Goblin9]

They dated for like a day, and it didn’t last longer than that because she said “If you don’t get over here, I’m going to kill myself.” Josh responded with “Yeah? Maybe you probably should” then hung up. He will dump perfectly good pussy on a whim,

Excuse me, what? Do you really think a woman threatening suicide if you don't visit is perfectly good pussy? That is some seriously sketchy pussy you do not want to go any where near. Josh did the right thing and told her to fuck off. Any one who threatens you with suicide unless you do what they want is a nutcase and "do it faggot" is the only response you should give them. Are you going to say Gothie is good pussy next?

 

[Grift Garrison]

Cobes telling the suicide baiter to kill themselves is the smartest shit he's ever done.

 

[Bogliacci]

THE RETURN OF THE KING AND THE EBOGGING

 

[Lesbian Sleepover]

THE RETURN OF THE KING AND THE EBOGGING

My man's is made out of the back of ducks

 

[Bogliacci]

My man's is made out of the back of ducks

Delusions comin in nicely.

Also love how he says he knelt during the national anthem to show his patriotism when that's the exact opposite of why people were doing it lmfao

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

I guess this is where he’s seeing COF. Lol Devil driver is opening. God, both of them suck.

 

[BoglimArchives]

Excuse me, what? Do you really think a woman threatening suicide if you don't visit is perfectly good pussy? That is some seriously sketchy pussy you do not want to go any where near.

Just lie to her, fuck her and leave? Block her number and be on your way?

She’s a young woman. They are histrionic and, more importantly, harmless creatures. It’s like you’ve never fucked one before.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

They dated for like a day, and it didn’t last longer than that because she said “If you don’t get over here, I’m going to kill myself.” Josh responded with “Yeah? Maybe you probably should” then hung up.

Actual unironic Chad behavior from m'lord I'm shocked.

 

[RollingRock2]

Two tone nails now that's goth

 

[CasperDivorceLawyer]

Excuse me, what? Do you really think a woman threatening suicide if you don't visit is perfectly good pussy? That is some seriously sketchy pussy you do not want to go any where near. Josh did the right thing and told her to fuck off. Any one who threatens you with suicide unless you do what they want is a nutcase and "do it faggot" is the only response you should give them. Are you going to say Gothie is good pussy next?

You are arguing with THE Games, the leading Cobraology expert he would know the mind of Josh better than you

 

[BoglimArchives]

You are arguing with THE Games, the leading Cobraology expert he would know the mind of Josh better than you

I don't think it's an argument, we just disagree on the issue. It's really not that big of a deal.

 

[HiveDull]

What a wonderful return.

Edit: Lmao he says that LN calls Angie to ask for Josh. He's still coping and sneeding about her. Hanging out with the chick that you've been creeping on is goth af, toobz

Edit 2: Therapy confirmed boyzz. Looks like he isn't too intelligent to convince Papa Clunt to get out of it lmao

 

[Devious Dave]

I don't really believe in therapy but I hope it works for cobra I wonder if his therapist will watch any of his videos

 

[YouGuysAren'tThatSmart]

I guess this is where he’s seeing COF. Lol Devil driver is opening. God, both of them suck. View attachment 4525409

Isn't Devildriver Christian?

Edit: They aren't. I'm getting them confused with someone else, but I can't remember the band. Anyway, what's he been up to? Just getting drunk and rambling incoherently?