Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[SeizureRobot5000]

He gets high from painting his wands from lack of air circulation right? Do you think Cobra purposfully doesn't open windows to 'hotbox' his apartment so he can get more high from the paint? Wouldn't shock me if he did think like that

Could've sworn he once made a joke that the high he got from paint fumes were an added bonus of wand making, but I couldn't find the clip. Intentional or not, he 100% did not adequately vent his old apartment; the unit above his could not be rented out because of the smoke and paint fumes he'd been farting out for years on end. I am personally convinced that his time spent sitting in that toxic miasma contributed the most to his decline. Spray paint artists wear a respirator even when they're outdoors, much less inside a studio apartment... must have smelled terrible in there.

 

[Bogliacci]

Now he's forced to get his cheap high from the varnish for his table legs.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Could've sworn he once made a joke that the high he got from paint fumes were an added bonus of wand making, but I couldn't find the clip. Intentional or not, he 100% did not adequately vent his old apartment; the unit above his could not be rented out because of the smoke and paint fumes he'd been farting out for years on end. I am personally convinced that his time spent sitting in that toxic miasma contributed the most to his decline. Spray paint artists wear a respirator even when they're outdoors, much less inside a studio apartment... must have smelled terrible in there.

He has he called it a "Side benifit" and rubbed his finger under his nose.

 

[Fortyone]

That's

That's fucking puff. No way they'd post all these details for strangers. That message is aimed straight at captain o.d.d. I'm sure his sister found him and saw how mistreated he was and refused to give him back to Josh. There's no way in hell that cobes' fam would just happen to coincidentally be involved with finding a bearded dragon, in winter, in Wyoming, right after Josh lost his. If you believe this I've got a badass rap album to sell you called blunt wraps and cobra coils.

Yeah I think I might agree, I mean how many fucking bearded dragons are going to be running around some town in the middle of nowhere during the winter?

I wonder if Cobra will react to this, or if he even has the mental capacity to react after abusing so much duster and nasty home made swish aka "mead"

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

That's fucking puff. No way they'd post all these details for strangers. That message is aimed straight at captain o.d.d. I'm sure his sister found him and saw how mistreated he was and refused to give him back to Josh. There's no way in hell that cobes' fam would just happen to coincidentally be involved with finding a bearded dragon, in winter, in Wyoming, right after Josh lost his. If you believe this I've got a badass rap album to sell you called blunt wraps and cobra coils.

I have never heard of someone finding a bearded dragon in a parking garage in my entire life, let alone in a small town of barely 60k people like Casper, that has also had temperatures well below freezing at night for over a month.

His sister probably found Puff in the laundry room or under the dead dog throne during Cobes' well-deserved "vacation" and the family came up with a story to keep him from getting another one. Maybe in one year from the day Puff disappeared Dirty Dancer will give him the lizard back but I doubt it.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Yeah I think I might agree, I mean how many fucking bearded dragons are going to be running around some town in the middle of nowhere during the winter?

I wonder if Cobra will react to this, or if he even has the mental capacity to react after abusing so much duster and nasty home made swish aka "mead"

I've seen, Dogs, Cats, Rabbits, even a goat once - but never a missing lizard poster.

 

[bonified retard]

I am willing to bet money that daddy nipalinos actually found the real Puffthers and decided to do the right thing: Not give it back to his bumblefuck son who almost killed it.

I mean come on boys let’s be real for a second, there’s two lizards native to Australia running around Casper Wyoming in the freezing cold? That girl that Cobies had a weird unhealthy obsession with just magically fuckin’ died too in the vaguest of circumstances.

Come on Nipples your son may be retarded but we aren’t


View attachment 5548684

Sounds nice, but still doesn't make sense why/how he'd rope in a random woman to post the initial "found lizard" post. This Rebecca person's profile is public. They have family, employment, education, etc all public. It all lines up with other socials/linkedin/etc when googling as well. There are zero connections to any of the Saunders family on their page. They also have their current employment as nursing assistant, which would support the claim that they found the lizard near the hospital.

Idk maybe my username checks out here, but an elaborate 3 week Clint scheme to liberate Puff seems just as unlikely as two seperate dragons going missing around the same time.

 

[UncommonParlence]

I have never heard of someone finding a bearded dragon in a parking garage in my entire life, let alone in a small town of barely 60k people like Casper, that has also had temperatures well below freezing at night for over a month.

His sister probably found Puff in the laundry room or under the dead dog throne during Cobes' well-deserved "vacation" and the family came up with a story to keep him from getting another one. Maybe in one year from the day Puff disappeared Dirty Dancer will give him the lizard back but I doubt it.

This is a good point. Cobra wax probably so shit faced that he only thought puff was still on his shoulder. He probably bailed immediately and ran in the laundry room. One of the neighbors found him and called cobes' dad, what all neighbors/land lords are told to do. Can you imagine how hostile cobra comes off as to the normals? Drunkin yelling at all hours, power tools inside, repeated police visits, and not to mention his doordash sign(I'MnotGAY!).

 

[TMDWTFIU]

You guys are retarded if you think this is Puff. There is no great conspiracy to secretly remove Puff from Cobra. Puff is dead.

 

[Tetragrammaton]

That's fucking puff. No way they'd post all these details for strangers. That message is aimed straight at captain o.d.d. I'm sure his sister found him and saw how mistreated he was and refused to give him back to Josh. There's no way in hell that cobes' fam would just happen to coincidentally be involved with finding a bearded dragon, in winter, in Wyoming, right after Josh lost his.

my guess is that puff escaped while cobes was fucked up on duster and either a neighbor or his family found him and they just made up enough of a story that cobes will just think its clearly an entirely different lizard where as anyone else will be smart enough to realize its puff.

it honestly feels to me like most people around cobes know something is wrong with him but because he refuses help they have just accepted that eventually he will just overdose on duster or die from his teeth being infected but until then they just do what they can to make sure nobody else gets hurt because of him this includes animals.

 

[NoodleFucker3000]

I 100% assumed Puff #2 was going to end up in the boglims den, pretty sure Clibt checked the reddit, saw the 500 unhinged threats in the comments and decided it wasn't worth it.

 

[convulsion swell]

You guys are retarded if you think this is Puff. There is no great conspiracy to secretly remove Puff from Cobra. Puff is dead.

Thank you. I also feel like it is insane to believe this was actually Puff.

my guess is that puff escaped while cobes was fucked up on duster and either a neighbor or his family found him and they just made up enough of a story that cobes will just think its clearly an entirely different lizard where as anyone else will be smart enough to realize its puff.

Does Cobra's family have a history of participating in gay ops targeting Cobra like this? I ask your forgiveness if I have not lurked long enough to have read about one.

 

[Kingfisher9000]

You guys are retarded if you think this is Puff. There is no great conspiracy to secretly remove Puff from Cobra. Puff is dead.

This. You guys honestly think Cobes is the only person in Casper trashy and stupid enough to lose a bearded dragon outside? Not a chance. I bet dozens of them go missing in that city every year.

 

[TMDWTFIU]

Thank you. I also feel like it is insane to believe this was actually Puff.


Does Cobra's family have a history of participating in gay ops targeting Cobra like this? I ask your forgiveness if I have not lurked long enough to have read about one.

No, they deal with him as little as possible. On top of that someone even posted a picture comparison showing they're two completely different lizards.

 

['Ole Dente]

Sounds nice, but still doesn't make sense why/how he'd rope in a random woman to post the initial "found lizard" post. This Rebecca person's profile is public. They have family, employment, education, etc all public. It all lines up with other socials/linkedin/etc when googling as well. There are zero connections to any of the Saunders family on their page. They also have their current employment as nursing assistant, which would support the claim that they found the lizard near the hospital.

Idk maybe my username checks out here, but an elaborate 3 week Clint scheme to liberate Puff seems just as unlikely as two seperate dragons going missing around the same time.

The family probably legitimately found the lizard. Clint swooped in because like usual he’s doing all the work while his smelly son is sighing heavily and making excuses. He finds out it’s actually Puff, tells his son and everyone else it’s another lizard and rehomes it. I don’t think it’s that outlandish, all he does is lie to his son to make him feel better. He lied about the woman he was obsessed with, he tells him he’s proud of him, he tells him he’s doing really good, all lies to spare him reality. What’s a lizard in comparison to that? I don’t think it’s an insane theory, I have watched this man fuck a sex doll to death and try to convince people crackheads stole it for the frame. More insane shit has happened here.

 

[TMDWTFIU]

The family probably legitimately found the lizard. Clint swooped in because like usual he’s doing all the work while his smelly son is sighing heavily and making excuses. He finds out it’s actually Puff, tells his son and everyone else it’s another lizard and rehomes it. I don’t think it’s that outlandish, all he does is lie to his son to make him feel better. He lied about the woman he was obsessed with, he tells him he’s proud of him, he tells him he’s doing really good, all lies to spare him reality. What’s a lizard in comparison to that? I don’t think it’s an insane theory, I have watched this man fuck a sex doll to death and try to convince people crackheads stole it for the frame. More insane shit has happened here.

How does lying about the lizard and letting Cobes think he's out there by himself make Cobra feel better exactly?

 

[Mister Baranavichy]

How does lying about the lizard and letting Cobes think he's out there by himself make Cobra feel better exactly?

On the off chance, 0.5%, that the "sister found puff and rehomed him out of pity" cenario is real, I'd say their ideia would be something along the lines of convincing him that puff is brumating and will only come back in the spring, but that by that time he probably already "relearned his wild side" so it's better for Josh to "let him be happy with his freedom" instead of caging him back up and "be happy that you let puff rediscover who he is after a wonderfull time together".
Assuming I'm even thinking to hard, they probably are hoping he just forgets about him, which will be hard with a long as shit tank in his house, even with duster brain

 

[Gay Baby Jailer]

I think its pretty unlikely Clint manages to arrive and find puff just in time to avoid freezing to death, especially without cobes knowing about it. Doesn't really make sense for it to warp some 3 miles to the hospital in freezing cold either. It was probably some "comfort animal" someone had at the hospital. It actually sort of makes sense that way.

 

[Slim Boglim]

The “this is actually the real puff” conspiracy is so retarded. What’s more likely. A retard junkies in Casper lost or abandoned a bearded dragon? Or cobra lost a bearded dragon, it somehow survived for weeks in the Wyoming winter, it traveled miles to a different place, and was picked up by somebody else. Or they found puff, gave it to a random lady, told her to hang on to him for a few weeks and then post about it in Facebook, where they can then pose as picking up the lizard and then rehoming it?

Somebody else lost or abandoned a lizard it’s not a deep weeks long conspiracy involving multiple people, convincing people to post on Facebook to fabricate a story, to heist a stupid fucking lizard.

I get things have been boring lately but this embarrassing fanfic puts even redditors to shame

He lied about the woman he was obsessed with

What exactly are you referring to because if it’s the “Alicia Rodie killed herself” meme you fell for Reddit misinformation

 

[ColombianGhost]

You guys are retarded if you think this is Puff. There is no great conspiracy to secretly remove Puff from Cobra. Puff is dead.

Agreed, is better to accept that puff died that believing is some scheme to fuck Cobra, that guy is probably just a clout chaser