Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

let's be real, cobes would probably be the one person to love aunt myrna's party cheese salad.

cheese, mayo, jello, candied fruits, chips. all things he loves to mix. you'd have to call it something else, though - the word 'salad' would probably trigger him into ranting about how he doesn't like 'health food'.

the '40% less fat potato chips' thought loop is one of my favorites. he's so fucking annoyed that he accidentally made a slightly more healthy choice, he simply cannot bear the thought of not going for the maximum amount of self-destruction.
 
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niggers said:
let's be real, cobes would probably be the one person to love aunt myrna's party cheese salad.

cheese, mayo, jello, candied fruits, chips. all things he loves to mix. you'd have to call it something else, though - the word 'salad' would probably trigger him into ranting about how he doesn't like 'health food'.

the '40% less fat potato chips' thought loop is one of my favorites. he's so fucking annoyed that he accidentally made a slightly more healthy choice, he simply cannot bear the thought of not going for the maximum amount of self-destruction.
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Uncle Cobes' Party Cheese Foodhack
TWU
 
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Agares said:
Inb4 someone posts his nudes and it becomes 9/11 for our eyes.
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Hold the phone Slyvester Stallone.

The schex schtapethh may be fr fr, on dead God on ass. I don't think I'd ever look at Cobeson the same.

I mean, I thought he already disgusted me but there are levels satan should deny. I think Nurgle would recoil in horror.

Imagine a close up on the semitooth while he's gobbling the baconater with black grease streaming down his face, chest, and arms. Bleerghh! "I guess I'm a ranch hand now huh toobz? Hahahahahayesssstttthhhh.".

I just turned my own stomach. Holy frijoles fat man.
 
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UncommonParlence said:
It's the Jessica part that's so gross. I'd be imagining it's her goiter/teratoma speaking every time her demon or "sexy" voice came out. All I'd see is a foul ball of pubes and teeth driving her like a skin puppet.
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all that + the intense, 98F degree hot air blast of humid wendy's and onions in your face? No picture is complete without describing the odor.
 
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Grape Garden said:
He already has. If you are referring to something more destructive it's probably only a matter of time. He sticks to an electric skillet because he wants "to keep his stove clean". Not much damage he can do with a microwave and electric skillet, but life finds a way.
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The thumbnail is perfect for that incident. You can feel the sense of impending doom as he's about to dump wet potatoes into filthy boiling oil. It's like the part in the horror movie where you're yelling DON'T DO THE DUMB FUCKING THING YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO!
 
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Agamemnon Busmalis said:
Premium local honey topped off with Skittles, $1 cordial cherries, and energy drinks.

I think he believes the most expensive ingredient increases the quality of the others.
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Doodt that isn't even real premium honey. It is a massive company that sources honey from specific US regions and leverages massive nationwide deals with large stores to deceive.
 
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Bixby Snyder said:
I’m kinda surprised he never figured out how to pawn shit. I remember it being said he had an entire closet of ‘fan gifts’. Just hundreds of dollars worth of webcams and iPhone stands waiting to be sold
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Why would he? He would have to carry stuff all the way to the pawn shop and speak with a person instead of going live for a half hour for 10x the cash.
 
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UncommonParlence said:
Hold the phone Slyvester Stallone.

The schex schtapethh may be fr fr, on dead God on ass. I don't think I'd ever look at Cobeson the same.

I mean, I thought he already disgusted me but there are levels satan should deny. I think Nurgle would recoil in horror.

Imagine a close up on the semitooth while he's gobbling the baconater with black grease streaming down his face, chest, and arms. Bleerghh! "I guess I'm a ranch hand now huh toobz? Hahahahahayesssstttthhhh.".

I just turned my own stomach. Holy frijoles fat man.
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I've said this before but NAL and Cobra's bedroom fun times have probably created brand new STD's. That carp mouth alone could give any of-age girl crotch rot but I think swamp hags have a resistance to it.
 
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AnOminous said:
The thumbnail is perfect for that incident. You can feel the sense of impending doom as he's about to dump wet potatoes into filthy boiling oil. It's like the part in the horror movie where you're yelling DON'T DO THE DUMB FUCKING THING YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO!
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The thumbnail is like those warning signs that show an example of exactly what you should not be doing. Color the fries, plate, and vet of oil black and have it be a silhouette on a yellow triangle background and you have a quality “don’t be a retard in the kitchen” warning sign
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Star Spangled Bogger said:
Low IQ ain't ever stopped conspiracy nutjobs! I wonder which theories would match Cobes' personality.
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He's genuinely too regarded to "believe" in any conspiracy the way people usually believe in them, because that involves a multi-step causality chain, like for example with moon landing denialism:
There was a space race during the cold war -> The US wanted to win by landing on the moon -> But technology wasn't advanced enough yet -> So they faked it in a movie studio -> This is proven by this and that
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Sure he might say he thinks the moon landing was faked, but he could never tell you why. It'd just be yet another of those things he does to appear more quirky and countercultural. He'd be a poser, pretty much.
 
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As I watch his latest video my friend and I surmise that he doesn't eat anything he cooks for at least 12+ hours, is that so it goes ice cold, turns mostly to mush so that he doesn't get intense pain in his teeth from every mouthful?

Or is there a more obvious reason I'm not seeing. He often mentions multiple time in every 12 to 48+ hour food eating delay "This would be better fresh / warm" and it's just odd.
boglimSlop.jpg
 
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