Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

Your Landlord said:
What can even be done for him at this point?
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The sunkenface era of Kingcobrajfs begins after they pull all his teeth out. That would be kind of goth and he would no longer be a poser.
WhoCares666 said:
I just don't think that's going to happen this time for a number of reasons. I'll try my best to be brief.

He's lost his motivation. He ended his 6 year dry spell. He got his 100 thousand subscribers on YouTube. He defeated the reddit. Money is no longer an issue. He's depressed. He's lonely. Booze has gotten the better of him.

Any drive he had is gone with the wind. In his mind he has accomplished every goal he set out to achieve. He has nothing left to drive him.

I can only think of a lyric from the song Sundown by Gordon Lightfoot to close this out.
"Sometimes I think it's a sin. When I feel like I'm winning when I'm losing again."
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The banning of the subreddit is probably the worst thing to happen to him in a long time. It gave him motivation and he would go through the thing multiple times a day. No its just watch family guy in between wank sessions
 
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Slim Boglim said:
I came across this when looking for pure concentrated cringe on YouTube and I gotta say. Watching this and how painful it was really gave me a new appreciation for Josh’s Shon and Saunders’ bit. one of his very few accomplishments is that his ventriloquist routine is better than that of a nervous teenage girl with serious stage fright. So he’s got that going for him
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Oof. I can see why Shon changed his name and left her for a new comedy partner. I’d do the same.
 
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Hennimore said:
Long stretches of zero content has always been par for the course, you gotta give the boy time to cook in the oven.
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This is the truth. Every single time someone declares shit to be dead Cobes comes back with a video that amazes everyone. It's only a matter of time. And me? Well, I'm always just over here chilling like a rockstar villan waiting patiently for my of age, alive, non related, consenting, cis gendered gothic badgirl know what I'm saying dude? Fuck rape in all forms for that matter too. I hate sickos more then I love sailor moon *loudy slurps 24oz luke warm coors lite*
 
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Down From The Champions said:
Cobra has done some retarded things over the years but letting his teeth rot has to be number 1.

He must of heard Ozzy has dentures and wanted to speed up the process of being a gothic rockstar.
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Sadly this happens to a lot of people with terrible habits or depression. Brushing your teeth, even once a day, will stave off the facerot for at least 60 years if you aren't slamming soda 24/7. I think the skullet and the bad hygiene also speaks for itself in that Cobes has been a basket case for most of his adult life due to either bad parents or lack of parenting, bad life choices, and the lack of a will to live. I won't even mention the fact that his diet is fucking terrible, it would be me 10 more paragraphs.

Someone should have shook him violently when he was young and told him to grow up to be a better person decades ago, but that wouldn't be as funny as me showing my kid the large garbage barge that they might turn into if they don't eat their veggies, brush their teeth, and have proper and regulated hygiene. One thing to mention is that not showering for weeks or months can cause a lot of ill effects as well. Your ears tend to become infectious if you let them muster for months. Your clothes tend to become dingy and full of bacteria when you wear them for weeks straight. Your sink becomes a haven for bugs and shit when you don't clean it for months. The mites in your eyes tend to feed on dead skin bacteria and give you fungal eye infections when you don't wash your face every day.

Since the birth of the homo-sapien we've lived near water and have taken baths almost daily when we weren't killing each other or travelling. Hygiene is almost as important to your health as having a daily regimen and keeping your pearlies clean. Even traveling merchants in medieval times would bring a jug/barrel of water specifically for washing themselves, regardless of that they would use the same water in it.

Brush your teeth and wash your butt, bros.
 
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semitooth said:
wine review

edit: holy moly he drinks the entire bottle in under 30 minutes
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His description of his new "British Humor" shirt almost made me spit my drink out. "It says on the back I'll show you my Big Ben if you show me your minge". Classic cobes.

I also notice him talking about his new song he's making being like "Hammerfall mixed with Ozzy". Has he ever talked about Hammerfall before? I've only ever heard him gush about Ozzy or Cradle of Filth, I wonder if the boy has a new band obsession.
 
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Agares said:
Downing 90% of a bottle of wine in half an hour is MDWU toobz. And I thought my wine tolerance was high.
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biggacracka said:
I looked it up, it's 6% ABV. So it's like drinking a very large beer more than drinking wine
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Yea that's not that much for a normal adult, it would give you a nice buzz but it would be manageable for anyone that drinks a couple of beers in a single sitting. What's more worrying is how much more he probably consumed offscreen. He already said he drank an entire one the day before "but the review didn't turn out right".
 
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Chinese Emperor Qin Shi Huang drinks a mercury and arsenic elixir prepared by his eunuchs in hopes of gaining immortality, 206 BCE, woodprint
 
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Cunning Lettuce said:
He spoke about Hammerfall a long time ago. I thought the paint fumes and Duster had wiped it from his memory. In the good ol' days he listened to Sabaton too.
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He is controlled by whatever the algorithm is currently showing him. It's how he got into Niccolò Paganini: The Devil's Violinist however briefly
 
semitooth said:
wine review

edit: holy moly he drinks the entire bottle in under 30 minutes
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That is the perfect drink for him, you know he likes it too because he's drunk two bottles in less than twenty-four hours. Everything about it's presentation is as if it was made for him. It's even the apple flavoured lol.

They should expect a $200 order of wine incoming any second now TWU.
 
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