Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

Jimmy snipes said:
I am not a cobra hater but I can't help but dislike almost every video ever since he let that demegorg into his life to end his pathetic 6 year try spell. That decision is why we are in the trailer today:(
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You're looking at this with 20/20 hindsight. At the time of the I got laid twu video it was a big win for Cobes and we all agreed. I think the only person who really knew the full extent of Jessica's insanity was Messica. She was too jetlagged to be her usual crazy self in the first trip. She was crazy, sure. But I don't think we expected a second and even third trip. It only got dark in the second trip.

Also she was way better looking back then. The extent of her decay in the span of a year is fucking insane.
 
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BlastMonk said:
Cirrhosis confirmed and serious enough he can't sleep on his side ever. His front two incisors are just straight up gone with all his teeth being broken, degraded and brown or black at their roots. Josh could die this year since we know he'll never get help.
He's also been wearing the same shirt for at least six days straight.
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He's fatter than ever though.
 
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I'm watching some old cobra guitar noodling videos and have some questions...

Has he ever played music with anyone else? Band set up or anything??

Has cobes ever done a live performance?

What's the consensus on how a live gothic Kingcobrajfs show would go?

I imagine he would show up late, waaaaay too drunk (naturally), wearing his most degraded Ozzy shirt, creep out every of-age cisgender female by staring at them too much. He wouldn't be able to set up the backing track to a PA system. So he'd have to connect his phone to a Bluetooth speaker and try to play along to that.

A spectacle I wish one day we can see but at his current rate of decay I don't ever foresee a cobra concert happening cobros... TMDNWTFIU Toobz
 
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BlastMonk said:
Could be abdominal swelling worst case scenario, or he's gaining weight from all the calories in all the booze and food hacks.
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It’s that, but he also just slams booze 24/7 and doesn’t give his body any time to heal or recover. Drink for 2 weeks straight, you’ll feel the same.

The only way you could explain this shit to Cobra is with weird alchemical forumlas from these gay magic books off Amazon.

“Dood the law of equal exchange which governs all magic, as we all know, it governs Ozzy and pepperoni pizza and everything….it goes like this; If you wanna do something you gotta pay for it, and if you drink a lot, your liver pays. It’s not an infinite bank machine, eventually you die and that’s it. No more Ozzy, no more pizza, no more mom or dad. You get to leave, everyone has to stay behind and cry. That’s what you’re doing, dood. You’re just like Puff, wandering off into the unknown and leaving everyone to suffer your absence. When you sacrifice yourself, everyone pays for you.”

He’ll stop drinking for 3 days if that works. 4 days if Ripp Steakface is in the background holding a TWU sign.
 
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YouGuysAren'tThatSmart said:
He's fatter than ever though.
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Yeah I've been keeping tabs intermittently on Cobra and just looking at him now compared to a couple of months ago he looks FAT.
And not just his body - his face looks fatter. He has fat face.
His voice also seems different like its a little deeper and also more lispy, which I would guess is probably tooth decay related.
Also looking positively unkempt, although I suppose that's normal.
His necklace is cool though, super goth twu.

Screenshot 2025-05-04 141031.webp

Also lmao. i love this dood.
 
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Without TMI, I have drank a fuck load in a short period and your liver will literally hurt. It will stop most people (like me) from drinking but Cobes probably does the opposite and powers through to dull it. His liver probably is just wearing out from years of constant steady abuse. I know the human body can take a lot of shit (look at the homeless) but he seems to be sliding off quickly now.

I wonder how often Cobes has his freakouts off-camera? I know occasionally we see dents in the fridge, bumps on his forehead, or fucked up knuckles. I'm surprised no one who went to school with him has stumbled into our den of villany and told a few stories of him being fucking weird and disruptive in school.
 
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Bixby Snyder said:
Without TMI, I have drank a fuck load in a short period and your liver will literally hurt. It will stop most people (like me) from drinking but Cobes probably does the opposite and powers through to dull it. His liver probably is just wearing out from years of constant steady abuse. I know the human body can take a lot of shit (look at the homeless) but he seems to be sliding off quickly now.

I wonder how often Cobes has his freakouts off-camera? I know occasionally we see dents in the fridge, bumps on his forehead, or fucked up knuckles. I'm surprised no one who went to school with him has stumbled into our den of villany and told a few stories of him being fucking weird and disruptive in school.
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Not to go too TMI either, but in the interest of Cobes speculation and a warning to others:
I pushed past that point Bixby describes and it only gets worse. Appetite disappears and your muscles, kidneys, and quite literally everything hurts. Keep going and a special pain appears deep in your abdomen, like there is lava inside of you, and you become unable to keep anything down, not even water.

Pancreatitis is a bitch, doodt, and Cobra is well on his way. The pain he is experiencing is where his recent attitude is coming from in my opinion. Josh is absolutely freaking out daily, and likely ranting to himself 24/7 from his smoking room.
 
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