Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[RazorBackBacon]

I'm pretty sure that "I only have sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation." is an ancient 4chan joke from the late 00s, maybe early 10s.

It is. Darf and his wife probably have a normal sex life for overweight rednecks. Which is more than you'd probably like to imagine.

I think JESSICA BOYLE said he throws up every morning, which could be from pancreatitis / liver failure

My money's on gallblader failure. His diet is greasy trash, his gallbladder is probably making too much bile and he has to vomit it up in the morning.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

New Hamburger Stand food hack with an amazing thumbnail to go with it.

To his credit, he actually food hacked it with BBQ sauce and Little Squeezer's sauce cups and didn't endlessly loop about the toppings this time.

 

[Jimmy snipes]

I love that he wears his boots inside lol can you imagine putting on boots 4 sizes too big just to sit around on a chair all day. Jessica BOYLE said his feet reek in one of her old videos

 

[Potion_Time]

Darf was smelting an ingot

I think one of my favorite aspects of the cobraverse is the absolute fever dream cast of characters. From Sex pest Scrapper to literal Lord of the Rings dwarf Darfinly.

 

[Epikusername4]

i liked how he called the chili dog stonerlicious. also fast food arent food hacks rip ozzy fuck sickos

 

[Spaced Outside Cargo]

I think JESSICA BOYLE said he throws up every morning, which could be from pancreatitis / liver failure .

I guarantee the daily vomit is from some sort of acid reflux from the alcohol and super rich diet mixed with a neverending hangover.
Its like when my dog got into half a stick of butter and threw it up a couple hours later, but instead this reliably happens every night.

 

[Epikusername4]

how long do you think it would take for cobra to realize he was in a groundhog day loop if he was in one

 

[RazorBackBacon]

how long do you think it would take for cobra to realize he was in a groundhog day loop if he was in one

About 300 years subjective time.
It'd take a million years for him to care.

 

[anliteralidiot]

My money's on gallblader failure. His diet is greasy trash, his gallbladder is probably making too much bile and he has to vomit it up in the morning.

Maybe, but usually gallbladder problems give you the shits more than anything.

 

[pooterino]

There is no way Josh could power through having pancreatitis. I know people who have had pancreatitis and it’s apparently as painful as kidney stones and/or child birth. You also lose weight without trying. Pancreatitis can also kill you.

Yarp. Seen pancreatitis up close: person usually can't even keep down water, much less a basic juice or even watered down electrolyte drink. They hurl up everything they take in and will roll around screaming about stomach/back/kidney pain. Even if you dose them up with some real heavy narco shit.

Then they get surgery. Or, they die. Either way it resolves!

 

[Potion_Time]

how long do you think it would take for cobra to realize he was in a groundhog day loop if he was in one

What do you mean, he is in one?

 

[Epikusername4]

What do you mean, he is in one?

yeah

 

[ASeabear8952]

There is no way Josh could power through having pancreatitis. I know people who have had pancreatitis and it’s apparently as painful as kidney stones and/or child birth. You also lose weight without trying. Pancreatitis can also kill you.

Josh Block already has pancreatitis and he just turned fucking 24. If I remember correctly he feels cramps/pains on occasion.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Josh Block already has pancreatitis and he just turned fucking 24. If I remember correctly he feels cramps/pains on occasion.

It's genetics. Some people are lightweights and if they become alcoholics, their organs are on borrowed time. Others can tank ludicrous amounts of booze for many years before it finally kills them.

Cobra is somewhere in the middle, IMO.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Maybe, but usually gallbladder problems give you the shits more than anything.

Are you trying to argue that KingCobraJFS does NOT have the shits regularly?

 

[Candover]

how long do you think it would take for cobra to realize he was in a groundhog day loop if he was in one

Josh would be content with it, because it would be endless alcohol, and he can get as drunk as he wants with zero consequences or hangovers.

 

[bookers]

I think one of my favorite aspects of the cobraverse is the absolute fever dream cast of characters. From Sex pest Scrapper to literal Lord of the Rings dwarf Darfinly.

dwarven blacksmith darflinny and floorlord the buxom tavern wench

 

[Whatisgoingon]

I think one of my favorite aspects of the cobraverse is the absolute fever dream cast of characters. From Sex pest Scrapper to literal Lord of the Rings dwarf Darfinly.

Agreed. I miss how he'd just talk to random bums on the street, that and having his old high school weirdo friends made an amazing collection of freaks with odd interactions. Now he has no one but warmload, it's pretty depressing.

When has darf or any of his still alive friends even interacted with him? I think Darf's last interaction with him was that YourFavoriteSon documentary a year ago.

 

[Your Landlord]

What do you mean, he is in one?

Time to break out one of my favorites:

This is a very good representation of what alcoholism looks like, and "feels" like.

 

[bookers]

Time to break out one of my favorites:

This is a very good representation of what alcoholism looks like, and "feels" like.

fuckin burrito he eats at like 8 mins in lmao
ate that shit like it was a pro eating contest