Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

I'd love a Gothic King Clownbra phase.

You know, again.

1616641797355.png
 
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Umaibae said:
There’s been a few recent videos where Jord seems VERY animated, followed by a few where ya nodding off.

I’m not on the Junkie Josh train, but something is clearly going on here.

I actually chuckled at the Facebook ad-esque shirt he was sent. Hope he wears is.
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People have gotten very annoyed with "meth hypothesizing", but it's clear as day to me that the Sexy Bad Boy is supplementing his Dorito casseroles and Mountain Dew beers with a little something special lately. Even if it was only that one 'Tweakin' with the Warlord" stream, he's gotten into something lately he wasn't doing a year ago.
 
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Here's Kobes' Chillin stream from yesterday:
Start:
Disgusting raspy throat clearing Heyyyyy. Straight into a rant about gun control. Kobes supports Second Amendment rights but fuck mass shootings. Guns sales should be 21 and up.
4:17:
Spills his beer when he opens it. Spills it for the victims. No use crying over spilled beer. Kobes is sick and tired of the mass shootings YouTube.
6:00:
Making things illegal makes it easier for criminals to get their hands on them. Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. Fuck mass shootings. People are violent by nature. Turns into an abortion rant. Makes a joke about putting a baby in a blender.
8:30:
Compares aborting babies to putting down sick puppies. Pitbull rant.
11:00:
Back to ranting about guns.
12:03:
People suck I need a beer. Mass shootings wouldn’t work in Wyoming because everyone carries a gun. Kobes would sacrifice his dream house and a lifetime of sex for an end to violence and rape.
13:55:
Give Joe Biden a chance.
14:43:
Jeffrey Star got a pink AR-15. No judgement. Jeffrey Star impression. Rant about pronouns.
16:06:
More beer. How would you feel if one of your loved ones was a victim of a mass shooting? Talks about the Colorado shooting. Gets upset. Kobes is sick and tired of the violence. Kobes hates his trolls but there are bigger problems in society.
19:42:
Sometimes you just need a drink. Not an alcoholic just society sucks I need a beer. Pronoun rant.
20:53:
Says if he bought his dream house he would get a pet cobra but not happy that they need to be de-venomed under Wyoming law. De-venoming is cruel. Fuck mass shootings. Back to ranting about gun control and dodgy 3D printed guns.
24:40:
Kobes is almost 30 and remembers 9/11. The violence is ridiculous YouTube. Ranting about the mass shooter being an immigrant. We need stricter gun control. Gun control doesn’t work.
27:30:
He’s trying not to be a downer but the world we live in is fucked.
28:20:
Sings some Ozzy. Talking about people calling Sharon Osbourne racist because of her comments about a woman. (Meghan Markle). Everything is racist, it’s ridiculous YouTube.
31:30:
Chuffed with all the tobacco he received in his packages. His fans keep him going. Back to ranting about mass shootings.
33:15:
Kobes has always liked guns even as a kid. Says his parents told him that if his toy guns looked too realistic he couldn’t take them outside. He didn’t like that rule but understands. Says he has an idea for a really cool toy gun when he wins the lottery and he would donate profits to charity.
36:23:
Puts on a video for a couple of seconds then says he feels bad for Cooltaste because of all the things he has wrong with him. Doesn’t like people trying to get him to fight with Cooltaste. Puts away his empty bottles and goes back to watching the video.
39:47:
People will try everything to fuck with you, don’t let it get to you. Back to the video. It’s Dry Bar comedy.
42:27:
Why can’t adults order chicken fingers without it being a kid’s meal? Trying to lighten up the mood of the stream with a comedy reaction. Back to the video. He doesn’t really say anything while he’s watching.
51:00:
Jeep Grand Cherokee ad. Back to watching the video.
 
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KillThemCrackasBabies said:
People have gotten very annoyed with "meth hypothesizing", but it's clear as day to me that the Sexy Bad Boy is supplementing his Dorito casseroles and Mountain Dew beers with a little something special lately. Even if it was only that one 'Tweakin' with the Warlord" stream, he's gotten into something lately he wasn't doing a year ago.
Click to expand...
Maybe he just seems tweaky because he idn't getting absolutely shitfaced every day. Hard to say. I do believe he was on some shit in that Warlord stream but I don't think our dark lord is smoking meth. The subreddit consists of 12-year-olds who don't understand how drugs work lol

Maybe he ate an adderall or some other stim. It's basically meth but you don't smoke it and it comes from the hospital so Cobes is probably more likely to imbibe
 
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Happy Birthday Kobes :biggrin:

Here's his chillin stream from yesterday:
Start:
Drinking Mango Pepsi. It’s delicious. Tastes like sweet artificial mango flavour. #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement. Not worried about turning 30 tomorrow. Everything goes downhill once you turn 21.
2:26:
When you’re 18 you can buy an AR-15 and sign up to die for your country but you can’ buy a pack of cigarettes. USA still has more freedoms than most countries. Drink combination of mango Pepsi and Bud Light Platinum. He corked the Curacao.
5:38:
Got some money back on his Tactical soap order. TWU. Going to do laundry and maybe go to Frosties for a few pitchers for his birthday.
6:52:
He’s trying to work on his temper. Complaining about getting texts from people saying he’s done nothing with his life when he is signed by an independent record label and has 21K subscribers.
8:40:
Poot. The stinky boglim can’t get laid because he farts all the time. Doesn’t fart all the time. Can’t help if good food makes him fart. Talks about his spaghetti and meatballs. Might do a chicken alfredo version of it some time.
12:09:
People will always be jealous of other people, whether you’re a celebrity like Kobes or an average Joe. Sacrificing his dry spell to improve gender relations.
13:48:
He feels sorry for his haters. They are texting him less and less because he just blocks and deletes the texts now.
15:10:
Back to talking about his drink combination. People who say he has a drinking problem drink too so they also have a drinking problem. More about how he doesn’t have a drinking problem. Men do stupid things to impress women. Playing wicked guitar and being a YouTube celebrity is a good way to impress the of age ladies. Says he gets more pussy than his trolls do and in the same sentence mentions his 3 year dry spell.
18:57:
Celebrities Kobes despises. One Direction, 5 seconds of summer. Kobes has a record deal from Deathbed Tapes so he is not jealous of celebrities who have record deals. He is doing something with his life. Too late to play guitar.
21:40:
Poot. Kobes won’t fart in front of women. Gender relations double standards in farts. Scenario of couple having a farting contest. 2+2=fish thing again. Rant about women.
27:06:
Grabs another beer for his gender relations rant. Gender relations.
29:55:
Going to do a video response to a video on racism. Talks about the Colorado shooting being made into a racial argument. Complaining about racism towards white people.
33:08:
Puts on the video for 2. Complains about white people being accused of racism. Thinks guns and white people are being used as scapegoats. Lots of white people want to prevent racism but they are also being accused of racism. It’s ridiculous Dood. Back to the video for 2 seconds and gives the definition of racism. Back to the video.
39:07:
Society has bigger problems than Kobes and his drinking problem. Kobes doesn’t worry about his trolls because there are bigger issues in society. Back to the video. Kobes is sick of it Dood. #killallmen again. Back to the video.
42:20:
Calling all white people mass shooters is just as racist as calling all minorities gang bangers. Lists off all the oppressive things white people have done through history and white guilt. Kobes is tired of everything being racist. Back to the video.
46:08:
Banning weapons will make it easier for criminals to get them. No one cares that 10 people died. Fuck mass shootings. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Gun control doesn’t work. Gun control is needed. Gun control doesn’t work. How to buy a gun in Wyoming. You can buy a gun and die for your country at 18 but you can’t smoke. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Kobes hates white supremacy. White slavery. Racism is learned. Talking about the shooter being an immigrant and says he took advantage of the system. Back to the video.
55:30:
White supremacy bad but don’t blame all white people. Back to the video. Watches the add. Credit cards are how the system fucks you so that’s why Kobes doesn’t have a credit card. Scenario of getting a student loan and getting your of age girlfriend pregnant and have to put your liberal arts degree on hold and live a life of debt. This scenario goes on for a while. Back to the video for 2 seconds.
1:02:24:
Scenario of having to take out a bank loan to get your dick sucked. Back to the video. Reads what’s written on the screen. This Colorado shooting is pissing Kobes off. Makes a bad joke about being shot. Back to talking about the shooting. Need to do something other than gun control. Perhaps some gun control. Kobes is making videos to make the world a better place. Remembers 9/11. Back to talking about the shooting. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
1:10:47:
Gets some Everclear to mix with monster for the stream. Complaining about all white people being called racists. Back to the video.
1:13:30:
It’s perfectly natural to go to the grocery store for some groceries and decide to get a vaccine while you’re there. Not all mass shooters are white males. Fuck mass shootings. Back to the video.
1:17:05:
Muslimphobia. Both sides are wrong. Back to the video.
1:20:00:
This is the kind of crap that makes muslimphobia grow. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Attacking guns because it would be muslimphobia to bring up that the shooter was middle eastern. Gun control. Gun control doesn’t work. Fuck mass shootings. Back to the video.
1:23:48:
Complaining about white men being a stereotype for mass shooters. Violence for self-defence is okay. Was Elliott Rogers white? Talks about being recognised as a YouTube celebrity. If Elliott Rogers had just waited patiently he would have found an of age girl who liked him.
1:27:49:
Unexpected sneeze. Back to the video for 2 seconds. White people have systematic privilege because they didn’t experience systematic racism. Back to the video.
1:30:22:
Leaves
1:31:30:
Returns. Not all lives matter rant. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Not all white people are racist. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Parrots what’s said on the video. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Explains how misinformation is spread on social media. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Blue Anon conspiracy theory. Kobes is sick of it YouTube. Back to the video.
1:39:24:
Kobes gets offended at the thought that feminising men is a bad thing. Both sides are wrong. Back to the video for 2 seconds. White people racism. Not all white people are racist. Scapegoat. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Racism is not okay. Back to the video for 2 seconds. We live in a society. Fake news. Back to the video.
1:44:10:
Freedom of speech is being used to harass people. Muslimphobia. Both sides are wrong. Stop hate in general. Stop racism #powertothepeople. Ends stream.
 
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That toot at 8:35 was for each and every one of us.
Ellesse_warrior said:
Happy Birthday Kobes :biggrin:

Here's his chillin stream from yesterday:
View attachment 2031064
Start:
Drinking Mango Pepsi. It’s delicious. Tastes like sweet artificial mango flavour. #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement. Not worried about turning 30 tomorrow. Everything goes downhill once you turn 21.
2:26:
When you’re 18 you can buy an AR-15 and sign up to die for your country but you can’ buy a pack of cigarettes. USA still has more freedoms than most countries. Drink combination of mango Pepsi and Bud Light Platinum. He corked the Curacao.
5:38:
Got some money back on his Tactical soap order. TWU. Going to do laundry and maybe go to Frosties for a few pitchers for his birthday.
6:52:
He’s trying to work on his temper. Complaining about getting texts from people saying he’s done nothing with his life when he is signed by an independent record label and has 21K subscribers.
8:40:
Poot. The stinky boglim can’t get laid because he farts all the time. Doesn’t fart all the time. Can’t help if good food makes him fart. Talks about his spaghetti and meatballs. Might do a chicken alfredo version of it some time.
12:09:
People will always be jealous of other people, whether you’re a celebrity like Kobes or an average Joe. Sacrificing his dry spell to improve gender relations.
13:48:
He feels sorry for his haters. They are texting him less and less because he just blocks and deletes the texts now.
15:10:
Back to talking about his drink combination. People who say he has a drinking problem drink too so they also have a drinking problem. More about how he doesn’t have a drinking problem. Men do stupid things to impress women. Playing wicked guitar and being a YouTube celebrity is a good way to impress the of age ladies. Says he gets more pussy than his trolls do and in the same sentence mentions his 3 year dry spell.
18:57:
Celebrities Kobes despises. One Direction, 5 seconds of summer. Kobes has a record deal from Deathbed Tapes so he is not jealous of celebrities who have record deals. He is doing something with his life. Too late to play guitar.
21:40:
Poot. Kobes won’t fart in front of women. Gender relations double standards in farts. Scenario of couple having a farting contest. 2+2=fish thing again. Rant about women.
27:06:
Grabs another beer for his gender relations rant. Gender relations.
29:55:
Going to do a video response to a video on racism. Talks about the Colorado shooting being made into a racial argument. Complaining about racism towards white people.
33:08:
Puts on the video for 2. Complains about white people being accused of racism. Thinks guns and white people are being used as scapegoats. Lots of white people want to prevent racism but they are also being accused of racism. It’s ridiculous Dood. Back to the video for 2 seconds and gives the definition of racism. Back to the video.
39:07:
Society has bigger problems than Kobes and his drinking problem. Kobes doesn’t worry about his trolls because there are bigger issues in society. Back to the video. Kobes is sick of it Dood. #killallmen again. Back to the video.
42:20:
Calling all white people mass shooters is just as racist as calling all minorities gang bangers. Lists off all the oppressive things white people have done through history and white guilt. Kobes is tired of everything being racist. Back to the video.
46:08:
Banning weapons will make it easier for criminals to get them. No one cares that 10 people died. Fuck mass shootings. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Gun control doesn’t work. Gun control is needed. Gun control doesn’t work. How to buy a gun in Wyoming. You can buy a gun and die for your country at 18 but you can’t smoke. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Kobes hates white supremacy. White slavery. Racism is learned. Talking about the shooter being an immigrant and says he took advantage of the system. Back to the video.
55:30:
White supremacy bad but don’t blame all white people. Back to the video. Watches the add. Credit cards are how the system fucks you so that’s why Kobes doesn’t have a credit card. Scenario of getting a student loan and getting your of age girlfriend pregnant and have to put your liberal arts degree on hold and live a life of debt. This scenario goes on for a while. Back to the video for 2 seconds.
1:02:24:
Scenario of having to take out a bank loan to get your dick sucked. Back to the video. Reads what’s written on the screen. This Colorado shooting is pissing Kobes off. Makes a bad joke about being shot. Back to talking about the shooting. Need to do something other than gun control. Perhaps some gun control. Kobes is making videos to make the world a better place. Remembers 9/11. Back to talking about the shooting. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
1:10:47:
Gets some Everclear to mix with monster for the stream. Complaining about all white people being called racists. Back to the video.
1:13:30:
It’s perfectly natural to go to the grocery store for some groceries and decide to get a vaccine while you’re there. Not all mass shooters are white males. Fuck mass shootings. Back to the video.
1:17:05:
Muslimphobia. Both sides are wrong. Back to the video.
1:20:00:
This is the kind of crap that makes muslimphobia grow. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Attacking guns because it would be muslimphobia to bring up that the shooter was middle eastern. Gun control. Gun control doesn’t work. Fuck mass shootings. Back to the video.
1:23:48:
Complaining about white men being a stereotype for mass shooters. Violence for self-defence is okay. Was Elliott Rogers white? Talks about being recognised as a YouTube celebrity. If Elliott Rogers had just waited patiently he would have found an of age girl who liked him.
1:27:49:
Unexpected sneeze. Back to the video for 2 seconds. White people have systematic privilege because they didn’t experience systematic racism. Back to the video.
1:30:22:
Leaves
1:31:30:
Returns. Not all lives matter rant. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Not all white people are racist. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Parrots what’s said on the video. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Explains how misinformation is spread on social media. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Blue Anon conspiracy theory. Kobes is sick of it YouTube. Back to the video.
1:39:24:
Kobes gets offended at the thought that feminising men is a bad thing. Both sides are wrong. Back to the video for 2 seconds. White people racism. Not all white people are racist. Scapegoat. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Racism is not okay. Back to the video for 2 seconds. We live in a society. Fake news. Back to the video.
1:44:10:
Freedom of speech is being used to harass people. Muslimphobia. Both sides are wrong. Stop hate in general. Stop racism #powertothepeople. Ends stream.
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Our dark lord has blessed us with some videos on his birthday, and he's PISSED OFFFFFFFF! Apparently, there's been a bit of a to-do with the Subreddit fucking with Scrapper Steve (the guy who fucks animals) and it might result in a lolsuit. Cobes also admits that he's a "functional alcoholic."

 
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Dick Pooman said:
Our dark lord has blessed us with some videos on his birthday, and he's PISSED OFFFFFFFF! Apparently, there's been a bit of a to-do with the Subreddit fucking with Scrapper Steve (the guy who fucks animals) and it might result in a lolsuit. Cobes also admits that he's a "functional alcoholic."

View attachment 2031705
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I like that it became a wee Harry Potter video in the middle.

Start:
Shoutouts fir the birthday wishes. Reads out a troll text. Kobes texts back. Troll rant.
3:20:
Says he's only got 2 hate comments the last 2 days all the others were positive. Fuck the trolls.
4:31:
Trolls are miserable so they want kobes to be miserable rant.
5:28:
Enjoying his birthday so far. Woke up, had a beer and a smoke. Fuck cyberbullying. Scrapper Steve is investigating kobes' cyberbullies.
7:16:
People suck I need a beer. Calls himself a functional alcohol.
8:14:
Not e-begging. Shills PayPal, Teespring and tactical soap. Troll rant.
9:32:
Might go live again later he'll see how he's feeling.
10:18:
Doing a video response.
11:10:
Starts video
11:49:
Kobes hates rape. Back to the video.
12:39:
Cancel Bugs workouts because he simulates girls getting raped on tiktok. Fuck rape. Bugs workouts wouldn't like to get raped so he shouldn't rape. Turns into a big thing about kobes making spaghetti and meatballs. If you can't get laid get a sex doll.
15:44:
Back to the video for 2 seconds. This is cringe dude. Back to the video.
17:09:
Kobes already watched the video before doing the reaction. Cancel Bugs workouts. Describes the video. Back to the video.
19:26:
Rape is bad. Back to the video. He's just making disgusted faces and saying this is gross.
21:38:
Describes the videos. Cancel Bugs workouts.
22:47:
Kobes could have a six pack if he stopped drinking and eating cheeseburgers. Gets up to grab his wand.
23:45:
Kobes would use the crutiotious curse on rapists and send dementors after them too. That's how kobes feels about the whole situation. People are lucky Harry Potter spells aren't real because he would use them irl. Talks about Dolores Umbridge for a bit.
26:39:
Back to the video.
28:45:
Talks about getting in trouble in school for being creepy with girls. Double standards.
31:17:
Every chick kobes ever tried with said no and he still hasn't raped. Fuck rape. This is why men like Kobes aren't given a chance.
32:56:
More beer. Talks about yesterday's drink combination. Fuck rape. Back to the video for 2 seconds. #killallmen Bugs workouts simulating rape on tiktok. No wonder women are pissed at men.
33:35:
When Kobes and friends fix society everyone will be happy. Scrapper Steve is investigating his trolls. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Complaining about music videos being overly sexual. Fuck rape. Some old people jokes.
38:55:
Back to the video.
39:20:
Nearly pukes.
40:15:
Reads a fan text. Fuck rape. This tiktok is cringe. Back to the video. This is too ridiculous for Kobes to comprehend YouTube.
43:00:
People say his content sucks when there's people on tiktok simulating rape. Kobes is empowering people's minds with magic and Isuzu. Jesus and moses practiced demon magic. Back to the video.
46:24:
Just because women are the gatekeepers of sex doesn't make the sex objects. Vaginas are high maintenance. Back to the video.
49:00:
It's ridiculous youtube. This guy is far creepier than kobes. Back to the video. #killallmen rant. Going to finish his beer and upload the video. Kobes likes bud light platinum.
52:35:
Trolls said kobes wouldn't make it to 30 but he's still here. Messes with his beer bottle. More beer. Makes a shandy.
55:06:
Spills mountain dew. Yeh dirty 30. Fuck rape. Ends stream.

RollingRock said:
PICKLE RIIICK fuck rape
Click to expand...
Start:
Making a combo with the drinks he got in his care package. Mumbles fuck rape and makes up his pickle banana drink. This is why people watch his channel.
2:41:
Taste test. It's weird. Says he doesn't want to waste the liquor and it's his birthday. Fuck the trolls.
4:38:
Talks about his earlier video. Trolls = toilets.
5:47:
Trolls are jealous of kobes accomplishments. His drink combination is gross but its liquor so he's going to drink it.
7:40:
Not going to bitch when fans send him alcohol. He is turning their gifts into entertainment. Calling the drink a weird cobra.
10:30:
Imaginary argument with trolls.
11:00:
Says when he was born he was put in an incubator because his lungs weren't fully developed and he's still here. Ordered his anti-rape shirt. Talks about his drink combination.
12:43:
Kobes' weird combinations are what people watch his channel for. Talks about his previous video.
14:57:
Can't even swallow the drink.
15:39:
Texting
16:00:
Kobes is 30. He enjoyed his 20s. Ends stream
 
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Chantal gave Kobes a birthday shout out


Lenin Lime did an edit of the Fan mail video

Here's the rest of the archives for February 2016:
Another shooting in the usa 2016-02-23

Josh discusses the 2016 kalamazoo shooting | Josh rants about guns etc | Extra FOUR days to get a firearm | 4:00 Elliot Rodger | Mass shooting and gun control rant

Astralia legalizes pot for medical use 2016-02-24

Weed got legalised in Australia so Josh rants on weed and the government etc |

Rest in Peace Neil Omer Rogers 2016-02-25

The owner of the cigar Rialto has died | Josh can't make it to the Rialto to meet up with his family and share stories because he's working so Josh does a drink combo | Josh is quite upset and has the sniffles | 7:00 Josh cries when he found out, and shares stories |

working on my 7th album 2016-02-25

Josh talks about Trump and Bernie | 4:20 Josh fixed his computer so he can make music again |

political rant and vocal covers 2016-02-26

Black and white video | Josh talks about religion | Josh watches a video about mulsimphobia | 22:50 Josh talks about the time a christian couple tried talking to him about jebus | 24:35 Josh has a friend that had a friend that christians bombed his house |

working on my 7th album 2016-02-26

Josh shows off his zippo collection at the beginning of the video | 5:00 Josh previews one of his newest songs | Josh talks about making music etc |

Advertising my next album 2016-02-27

Josh shows off sex and suicide in full completed and talks about the song | 1:00 it was busy in Wendys for Josh today and Josh talks about his 60 year old manager and complements her | 11:15 Josh shows off his tattoo and says Wendys doesn't have a problem with it |
Little Ceasers drunken food review 2016-02-28

2:00 Josh called Wendys again and they gave him another day to work (4 hours a day 2 days a week) |

4 men beheaded in the middle east for what 2016-02-29

Josh read an article online that four brothers in the middle east were beheaded for selling hash | 7:00 Josh shows off his underwear | Josh spends most of the time reading comments and responding and talks about the drug war
 
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