Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
he will go shiny on top + skullet
Hey youtube, it's your sexy gothic Cryptkeeper.

300
 

Cobes is shitfaced drunk. I clicked play right when he started talking about breastfeeding.

:stress:

Edit: DISASTER STREAM DICK CHOPPING AND BREAST FEEDING

Hope someone is recording this.

View attachment 2202478

Edit 2: HE JUST PUKED IN HIS HAND
For those interested it's at 41:19 be warned.
 
Holy Shit Kobes managed to make 2 streams out of an 8 minutes 17 seconds video for 3 hours and 10 minutes.

Start:
Drunk cowboy introduction. Received the money for the signed copy of Love and Vanity so it’s in the mail and the person who bought it will also get a signed t-shirt and some tactical soap. Bought some more tactical soap for himself. Making wands and drinking Bacardi and coke. RIP George Floyd.
2:55:
People who complain about BLM complain about everything. Making shot gun shell wands for the next batch so they will be more expensive. Doesn’t care about the money he makes from his wands; he makes them for his fans. Shows off his wand. RIP George Floyd. The quality of Kobes wands has improved since he first started.
5:40:
Glad the assholes who killed George Floyd are in jail. They give cops a bad name. Signed copy of love and vanity is in the mail. Kobes appreciates his fans even if they don’t give him money or buy his stuff. Moar Bacardi and coke.
8:23:
White people don’t know what it feels like to be black. Irish and Scottish people weren’t forced to come to America like Black people were. Having a drink for George Floyd, doesn’t know if he would’ve liked this drink personally.
10:32:
People offended by BLM don’t understand what the movement is about. Kobes explains what BLM is all about. Kobes was swatted at his old apartment but he’s not complaining because it could have gone worse. What George Floyd went through was worse. This is why Kobes doesn’t complain about his trolls. Power to the people. Study magic and empower your mind.
13:07:
People offended by breast feeding and BLM.
14:00:
Puts on a video about people who are offended by breast feeding for 2 seconds. Kobes supports trans rights. Breast feeding has nothing to do with gender. People just looking for things to be offended about. This is exhausting YouTube. A fan sent Kobes a cool sticker that he can use for a wand. Back to the video for 1 second. People who were breast fed as children are transphobic. Kobes has a food challenge planned.
18:00:
Men lactate. Kobes explains breastfeeding. Moar Bacardi and coke. Trolls say he needs to get a job but Kobes just made $234 from selling his tape. Saving some Bacardi for later.
20:56:
Back to the video. Talks shit about his bio mom. Not going to judge his bio mom for what she’s been through. Back to the video.
22:25:
Society is too sensitive. Scenario of woman breastfeeding. Makes this racial for some reason.
25:02:
Back to the video for 1 second. Parrots what’s said in the video. Children in Africa are starving. Kobes explains breastfeeding.
27:40:
Back to the video from 2 seconds. Parrots what’s said in the video. Too drunk to talk now. Long pause. Got 24 wings and some hot sauce for a food challenge. Finishes his drink. Back to the video for 1 second. Too drunk to talk. Back to the video for 1 second. Kobes thoughts on parenting.
32:29:
Back to the video.
33:48:
Kobes appreciates the support he gets from his fans. Looking for his jacket.
36:43:
Found his jacket and the Bacardi and coke. Moar Bacardi and coke. Doing a food challenge later. Back to the video.
39:30:
Reads what’s written on the screen. People are easily offended. Too many snowflakes in our society. Back to the video.
41:09:
Malfunctioning. Unexpected sneeze. Too drunk to speak. Back to the video.
43:17:
Talking about the spicy wings challenge he’s going to do. Back to the video. Whips out his wand. He’s seen this video already. No offense to JK Rowling. Drinking his Bacardi and Coke. Back to the video for 1 second. Prince Harry is racist and accusing Sharon Osborne of being racist. Spicy wing challenge. Back to the video for 1 second. Laughs at Harry Potter jokes and waves his wand around.
48:22:
Parrots what’s said in the video. Finishes his drink. Back to watching the video. Too drunk to say his outro.
Start:
Re-watched his previous video and says he forgot some of the points he wanted to make so he’s going to do the video response again. Puts the video on.
1:40:
Society is too sensitive. Says his food challenge was a disastrous fail and he doesn’t want to talk about it. It’s ridiculous YouTube. Back to the video. Falling asleep of the side of his chair. Parrots what’s said in the video.
5:00:
Big yawn. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Going to make another drink. Back to the video. Only women can breastfeed. Says he made some good points in his last video but not all the points he wanted to make.
9:50:
Society is super racist and super sensitive. Back to the video. He’s falling asleep over the side of his chair.
11:14:
Parrots what’s said in the video. Human milk is sick. Only women can breastfeed. Back to the video. Kobes looks and sounds too bored to respond properly.
18:00:
Alcohol was a bad choice. Went to get his wand. People offended by BLM. Getting breast fed is not bigotry. People are too sensitive.
22:20:
Kobes parents didn’t care about gender inclusive language. Kobes supports trans rights. Anyone offended by breastfeeding is a secret sexist against women. Dogs and cats also breastfeed.
28:50:
Laughs at the Harry Potter jokes again. Isaac Butterfield has cheeky Australian humour. No offense to JK Rowling. Back to the video. Parrots the Harry Potter jokes.
34:40:
Kobes explains breastfeeding. People offended by breastfeeding are secret gays. Surprised he slept all day. Back to laughing at the Harry Potter jokes. Didn’t mean to sleep all day.
38:53:
One of his wands will have a cobra cult symbol on it and a shot gun shell. It will be more expensive than the other wands. Shot gun shell wands are more expensive than the standard wands because he doesn’t get to go to the shooting range that often.
41:19:
Pukes in his hand.
42:54:
Returns and blames the wings for making him puke.
43:51:
Gets his wings. Talks about the wings. Yukbang.
49:56:
Back to watching the video. He still has sauce on his chin.
50:39:
Wipes his face in his coat. Talking about wings.
51:55:
Unless you’re a paedophile no one cares about your sexuality.
55:12:
Goes outside for a smoke. Doesn’t mind that he has to smoke outside now.
59:17:
Returns. Drops his knife. Back to the video. No one cares what your sexuality is. People offended too easily.
1:08:19:
Tranny rant
1:18:32:
Checks his phone. Owns the trolls by blocking and deleting texts. Kobes is a cis straight male and proud. Back to tranny rant.
1:20:40:
Sick burns on Yaniv. Back to tranny rant.
1:32:30:
Owning the trolls by blocking their texts. Kobes doesn’t let his trolls get to him because there are bigger problems in the world. Kobes supports o age consensual trannys. Reads a text from a fan who is getting gender realignment surgery. Kobes wishes them luck. Kobes hates Chimos. Troll rant.
1:37:06:
Being a Chimo is against Kobes’ religion. Kobes trolls is nothing like what George Floyd went through. Racism exists! Back to the video for 2 seconds then parrots what’s said in the video. Talks about Ozzy Osborne.
1:40:22:
Kobes definitely doesn’t have a drinking problem. People killing themselves because thy mis-interpret Ozzy’s music. Back to the video for 1 second. Reads his texts. They tried to cancel Sharon for being racist. Back to talking about Ozzy. Kobes gives advice on addiction.
1:44:07:
Kobes keeps his mouth shut when he’s at a bar in case he offends people. They’re trying to cancel Sharon for being racist. People have more rights now than they did in the 1950s. Kobes gives a shit about the right issues and doesn’t like to be reminded that racism exists.
1:47:00:
Racism rant.
1:50:00:
Kobes thoughts on abortion. Moar Bacardi and coke. Power to the people. Fuck racism fuck sexism. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Working on more wands. Talks about his wands he’s making now.
1:54:10:
Drink combo is called a dragon cobra. Coca cola is racism towards wypipo rant.
1:57:08:
Talking about people trying to cancel Sharon again. Educate people instead of just calling people racist.
1:58:28:
Black people are racist too. Racism rant. We are all colours YouTube Power to the people!
2:00:40:
Talking about people trying to cancel Sharon for being racist. Sharon and Ozzy are not racist. #notallwypipo.
2:02:20:
Kobes is glad people are getting their privilege checked but doesn’t like people getting stereotyped as racist or sexist because of their race or gender. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Tranny rant. Racism rant.
2:09:00:
Signed tape is in the mail. KingSoapraJFS!
2:16:55:
Shout out to Bacardi. Talks about peach rum and other flavoured spirits. Calling them girly drinks is toxic masculinity.
2:19:14:
Shills wands, Tee Spring, Tactical Soap. Talks about how quick his wands sell out. Support his channel by just watching his streams. Shows off the wand he's working on. Fan sent him the stickers that he put on the wand.
 
I clipped the part where he tried to take a shot and then barfed for everyone's viewing pleasure. He should stick to the Steel Reserves.

View attachment 2204536

These are truly the moments that make Cobe Watching worth the time. Like seeing a horrific car accident while on the way to work.
 
Might be the first time Toby Keith lyrics are used as a segway to support BLM.
lol ya i thought the same thing.

this one of his worst fucking streams ever. fucking plastered the entire time, and literally just repeats himself OVER AND OVER AGAIN. CAn you BELIEVE some people are OFFENDED by BREAST FEEDING??? how many times did he say that? and then he wakes up from his "nap" and says he missed some points, then proceeded to repeat the exact same thing for another hour. hope those paypigs are proud of the content they're sponsoring.
 
lol ya i thought the same thing.

this one of his worst fucking streams ever. fucking plastered the entire time, and literally just repeats himself OVER AND OVER AGAIN. CAn you BELIEVE some people are OFFENDED by BREAST FEEDING??? how many times did he say that? and then he wakes up from his "nap" and says he missed some points, then proceeded to repeat the exact same thing for another hour. hope those paypigs are proud of the content they're sponsoring.


Donate to Talk Shit would be more beneficial at this point. At least some genuine advice would come through rather than the manipulations of the Discord Cabal.
 
wow he's live right now and still talking about "chestfeeding". i don't remember the last time cobes was so triggered over a single topic

edit: "you should have to pass a test before you can call yourself a woman. can you start an argument over nothing and make it the man's fault?" proceedes to imagine an argument between a couple where the lady is mad at her boyfriend because she got stuck behind a red light. no mention of wands here surprisingly. he then gives advice to leave early to get places on time. this has nothing to do with anything he was talking about, other than his insane example of an argument. what a beautiful mind.
 
Last edited:
wow he's live right now and still talking about "chestfeeding". i don't remember the last time cobes was so triggered over a single topic

edit: "you should have to pass a test before you can call yourself a woman. can you start an argument over nothing and make it the man's fault?" proceedes to imagine an argument between a couple where the lady is mad at her boyfriend because she got stuck behind a red light. no mention of wands here surprisingly. he then gives advice to leave early to get places on time. this has nothing to do with anything he was talking about, other than his insane example of an argument. what a beautiful mind.
That would make an awesome Kate Winslet vid; a comp of Cobes' autistic ramblings as a trailer for 'A Beautiful Mind'.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ellesse_warrior
Latest Wendy's Saga:

Kobes' latest streams:
Start:
Been making wands and working on his album. The eraser of women. Brings up chest feeding again. Waiting patiently for a hot of age goth chick. People are offended at Disney putting a gay in 101 Dalmatians.
No alcohol for his video but that's not a problem.
3:30:
Women's rights
5:18:
Wearing a cradle of filth t-shirt a fan sent him. Starts the video for 2 seconds and then goes on a rant about mass shootings and people being offended so easily and inclusive language.
7:39:
Back to the video. It's Sydney Watson.
8:28:
So woke it comes off as offensive and creepy. Back to the video.
9:41:
Pronouns is getting to be too much. People get offended too easily. Kobes is offended by mass shootings. Back to the video.
12:36:
No one likes to be fact checked. No likes to be proven wrong. Being right might offended someone. People offended by independent people. Back to the video.
14:53:
Parrots what's said in the video. Kobes supports trans rights but Caitlyn Jenner was not born a woman. Back to the video.
Kobes supports trans rights but insulting to give woman of the year to Caitlyn Jenner. Back to the video.
19:28:
Parrots what's said in the video. Being harassed for being trans is not the same as being harassed for being a woman. Back to the video.
21:25:
Gender relations. Being harassed for being trans is not the same as being harassed for being a woman. Trans people should have their own athletic leagues. The 90s was a simpler time because no one cared about pronouns. Gender relations.
25:10:
Back to the video for 2 seconds. Men have less privilege now because women took it. Women have more privilege than me because they are mothers. Back to the video.
28:05:
Kobes supports trans rights but Caitlyn Jenner didn't deserve woman of the year. Caitlyn would've been much braver if she came out at the height of Bruce's career. Back to the video.
30:17:
Okay for trans firefighter to get woman of the year. Steaming snatch. Privilege. Gender relations. Participation awards. Everyone's a goddammit snowflake. Back to talking about chest feeding. Trans is okay once your 18 and over. Human sperm is offensive call it human gravy. Back to tranny talk. Kobes has a trans friend.
39:17:
Back to the video for 1 second. Trannys. Talking about periods. Back to the video for 1 second. Kobes speech is not violent. Gender fluid jokes. Back to the video.
43:26:
Parrots what's said in the video. Colours and gender relations. Tranny rant.
Thinks cis = cyst. Birth Gender is a better term. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Tranny rant. Back to the video.
51:00:
Parrots what's said in the video. If trannys were real women they wouldn't be offended by pictures of vaginas. Back to the video for 1 second. Parrots what's said in the video. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Reads a tweet about pussy hats being transphobic. Labia joke. Back to the video.
56:05:
Get over yourselves overly offended trannys. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Chest feeding. This whole thing is stupid. Men trying to erase womanhood. Back to the video.
59:28:
Laughs at ad about toxic poop. Back to the video. Womxn. Back to the video.
1:01:50:
Womxn is because these women all hates their exes. Back to the video.
1:03:05:
Just Rowling isn't transphobic. Can crush for the fans. Eating some boneless pork he made earlier. Explains how he cooked it. Trannys.
1:07:02:
Men forcing women to be single moms. Back to trannys. Womben wombirls - surprisingly this makes more sense than womxn. Back to the video for 2 seconds. If Gender isn't real same sex and trans doesn't exist. Jk Rowling. Back to the video.
1:15:00:
If you want to identify as a woman you should have to pass a test first. Scenarios.
1:20:50:
Back to the video. Trannys in sports. Back to the video.
1:26:00:
Pronouns. Back to the video.
1:28:58:
Women are not just birthing people. Back to the video. Kobes supports trans rights. Back to the video. Parrots what's said in the video.
1:33:53:
Back to the video. Feminine women and masculine men are being replaced with gobbledygook. Back to the video. People on both sides ate blowing it out if proportion. Back to the video.
1:36:48:
Kobes final thoughts. Kobes supports trans rights. Breastfeeding chest feeding.

Start:
Got 3 packages from fans. Got a cradle of filth t-shirt TWU.
2:14:
Dublin pipe tobacco. Reads the note.
3:28:
Pooping animal toy. Pipe tobaccos. Guitar picks. Cigars, microphone, hemp string, hippy beads, blunt papers TWU.
7:46:
Letter has a wax seal. Reads the letter. Cleans up.
12:55:
Trying out one of the cigars. Goes outside to smoke it.
22:08:
Returns. Cigar wasn't bad YouTube. Says he needs to find a place to do tobacco reviews outside.

Start:
Showing off the pipe tobacco he got in his care packages.
3:42:
Kobes found out one of his fans is getting bullied in school. Kid paints his nails just like kobes and is autistic. Kobes gives the kid and his dad a shout out. Packs his pipe.
6:40:
Kobes got bullied in school for wearing nail polish. Says he accidentally wore sparkly nail polish. Gives kid advice on dealing with bullies.
10:15:
Talking about the pipe tobacco and how to pack and smoke a pipe.
11:24:
Goes out to smoke still talking about bullying on his way out.
16:05:
Returns. Tobacco review.
17:00:
Getting rejected from chicks in high school prepared kobes for the dating world. Bullies prepared kobes for dealing with trolls. Kobes didn't bully kids with autism just super annoying kids.
19:15:
Talks about his pipes. Going to watch a Dharman skit about a kid with autism getting bullied. Posts video link in chat. Talks about bullying.
21:40:
Shills his po box.
22:00:
Puts on Dharman video.
22:51:
People with autism are smarter than people give them credit for. Autism makes you super awkward. Kobes explains how it effected him trying to pick up girls in high school. Electric bill is $60 so he's making wands so he can pay it. Back to the video.
27:55:
Explains what's going to happen in the video. Back to watching the video.
29:30:
People look the other way irl when people are getting bullied. Back to the video.
30:48:
Shitty when friends stab you in the back but much worse when it's your family. Kobes sisters were bullied too. Chicks are mean to each other for no reason. Talks about bullying a child that made fun of him for waving his wand at a traffic light. Talks about being bullied got being a famous youtuber.
37:22:
Says homedad Clint went to his school to tell everyone to stop bullying him when he was a kid. Guitar shredding. Back to the video for 1 second. Guitar shredding.
39:20:
Back to the video for 1 second. Subscribe for more. Back to the video for 1 second. Parrots what's said in the video. Back to the video for 1 second. Different ability. Pipe tobacco.
41:15:
Back to the video.
43:09:
Rain man. Back to the video.
43:46:
Kobes explains autism.
44:48:
Back to the video.
47:00:
People getting offended by everything jokes. Final thoughts on bullying.

edit fixed attachment
 
Back