Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

Guess who's out early on probation.

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this little goldfinger arc did through me for a bit of a loop. who the fuck is this kid? has he just never had video games before and knows josh has gta so thats why he hangs out with him? thats what it seemed like to me haha. The fucking fedora with the cig in it too, jesus christ... I wonder where they met.
 
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Welcome to the Show said:
What do you think Clint should do? What would you realistically do if you were in his shoes?
Click to expand...

Remand him to the custody of an adult care facility.

Courts would do that, with the wealth of video evidence present showing how he's a danger to himself and others, as well as completely being incapable of taking care of himself in general.
Here's a list of shit that's either 100% verifiable or is just on camera for the world to see.
  • Almost burning down his apartment cooking.
  • Making adjacent apartment dwellers vacate their premises due to sickness because of spray paint fumes.
  • Frequently stabbing inanimate objects whenever he's upset.
  • Cutting the faces off female sex dolls in frustration.
  • Fucking child-like sex dolls to the point of collapse, then destroying them in frustration.
  • Pointing his firearm wherever he likes and dry firing it whenever he's drunk.
  • This man cannot open cans with their intended, monkeys-could-literally-operate tools.
  • Incapable of doing his own taxes, much less paying someone to do them for him.
  • Being responsible with money, period. He's 30 and he's not allowed to have his own debit card.
  • Cannot distinguish between two differently colored liquids, after several years of being taught how to do so at his job.
  • Chronic alcoholism, which exacerbates every other issue, including his array of mental illness'.
  • Not being able to bathe properly at the age of 30.
  • Being evicted for playing with a blowtorch not 3ft away from open cans of varnish and combustible paint canisters, among causing $6000 worth of damages.
  • Potentially almost burning down his apartment complex because he doesn't know how to cook with oil.
  • Consistently exposing his penis to people over Facebook, impromptu of nothing besides the promise that they are women.
  • Oh, let's not forget, his rapidly degrading and completely untreated mental illness going on a decade now. He's not just humouring his delusions, he actively lives in them full time.
I'm not saying someone SHOULD remand him to a facility and by no means do I think, relative to other cows, that Josh is this horrible danger. I'm just saying that, if I was his father, I would at least attempt this RIGHT NOW before the situation becomes much worse. If nothing came of it, fine. At least I tried to do something to help my son because it's clear he can't help himself.

Dick Pooman said:
Without a picture for reference, this could be practically everyone in the Cobraverse.
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Warlord is out early on probation.
 
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YOUR MOM said:
Hook Josh up with a "job". Clint seems to have connections. He should get Cobes a "job" shoveling shit on a farm. Josh could shovel shit, rake straw, top off water troughs. If it's as a favor to Clint, Cobes could be kept around and paid a pittance just as an extra hand so if he's late or doesn't show up it's no big deal. It would give Cobes a purpose other than drinking and masturbating. I think he'd like being around the animals and feeling useful.
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Honestly that's an excellent idea. Watching the recap of the Wendy's saga, you forget how proud Josh could be of his job at Wendy's. It's a thankless job and people are shitheads. That sense of pride would eventually wear off. A mule or goat is always happy to see someone with a bag of feed. Animals won't give a fuck if he smells or be put off by his autism.

Also Josh already thinks of himself as a cowboy. As much as he rails against gender expectations and bullshit, he'd be proud to say he works on a farm. He might be a ranch hand, but I imagine in a place like Wyoming, even a retarded ranch hand is still highly respected.
 
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ThrowawayForCobra said:
Remand him to the custody of an adult care facility.

Courts would do that, with the wealth of video evidence present showing how he's a danger to himself and others, as well as completely being incapable of taking care of himself in general.
Here's a list of shit that's either 100% verifiable or is just on camera for the world to see.
  • Almost burning down his apartment cooking.
  • Making adjacent apartment dwellers vacate their premises due to sickness because of spray paint fumes.
  • Frequently stabbing inanimate objects whenever he's upset.
  • Cutting the faces off female sex dolls in frustration.
  • Fucking child-like sex dolls to the point of collapse, then destroying them in frustration.
  • Pointing his firearm wherever he likes and dry firing it whenever he's drunk.
  • This man cannot open cans with their intended, monkeys-could-literally-operate tools.
  • Incapable of doing his own taxes, much less paying someone to do them for him.
  • Being responsible with money, period. He's 30 and he's not allowed to have his own debit card.
  • Cannot distinguish between two differently colored liquids, after several years of being taught how to do so at his job.
  • Chronic alcoholism, which exacerbates every other issue, including his array of mental illness'.
  • Not being able to bathe properly at the age of 30.
  • Being evicted for playing with a blowtorch not 3ft away from open cans of varnish and combustible paint canisters, among causing $6000 worth of damages.
  • Potentially almost burning down his apartment complex because he doesn't know how to cook with oil.
  • Consistently exposing his penis to people over Facebook, impromptu of nothing besides the promise that they are women.
  • Oh, let's not forget, his rapidly degrading and completely untreated mental illness going on a decade now. He's not just humouring his delusions, he actively lives in them full time.
I'm not saying someone SHOULD remand him to a facility and by no means do I think, relative to other cows, that Josh is this horrible danger. I'm just saying that, if I was his father, I would at least attempt this RIGHT NOW before the situation becomes much worse. If nothing came of it, fine. At least I tried to do something to help my son because it's clear he can't help himself.
Click to expand...
Sometimes I wonder if his constantly saying people say he smells good or praise cobras magic are audio hallucinations. That's more worrying to me than this whole list. Especially with the way he Mumbles to himself about rape.
 
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Ellesse_warrior said:
Sometimes I wonder if his constantly saying people say he smells good or praise cobras magic are audio hallucinations. That's more worrying to me than this whole list. Especially with the way he Mumbles to himself about rape.
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We have a recent example of an audio hallucination happen in real time. He thought Tarence Popp gave him a shoutout on the video he was watching. Popp can clearly be heard doing no such thing. Timestamped the video,
 
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SnusBurns said:
We have a recent example of an audio hallucination happen in real time. He thought Tarence Popp gave him a shoutout on the video he was watching. Popp can clearly be heard doing no such thing. Timestamped the video,
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Yeah I remember that but I think it's unclear whether or not he's actually hearing these things or just making it up as part of his delusion that he's a powerful wizard cult leader celebrity
 
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Ellesse_warrior said:
Yeah I remember that but I think it's unclear whether or not he's actually hearing these things or just making it up as part of his delusion that he's a powerful wizard cult leader celebrity
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I think we can confidently say hes suffering from delusions based on that clip. Whether he hallucinates it or not is kind of irrelevant, he actually believes its happening.

www.webmd.com

What Are Delusions of Grandeur?

Delusions of grandeur is when one has a false belief about one's own greatness or skills. Learn the signs of this mental illness, see a few examples, and more today.
www.webmd.com www.webmd.com
 
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LunaLuLu said:
I think we can confidently say hes suffering from delusions based on that clip. Whether he hallucinates it or not is kind of irrelevant, he actually believes its happening.
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Yeah he will fully admit when he mixes up his days, like when he thought it was Friday only for the chat to tell him it was Wednesday a week ago. He'll feel a bit embarrassed by it. Or like when he spelled female empowerment wrong last year and freaked out. But then he plays a video where Popp is clearly not talking about KingCobra, the stream can clearly hear Popp is not talking about KingCobra, yet Josh openly claims Popp is talking about him. Which plays into his claim that he heard Trump thanking him for defeating ISIS, on TV.
 
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Start:
Vaping and shoeing off his vape pen while coughing up a lung. He git it in a care package. Shows off the other stuff he got in the care package.
2:56:
Got his bike fixed TMDWU. Shills his PayPal. Wands ate on the mail. Going to start the day buy drinking straight vodka first thing in the morning. Saw a car crash on his way from the post office. Talks about the car crash.
8:21:
Talks about when he went to frosties. All the of age ladies said he smells good. Talks about his burger. Reads chat and says shon is male not trans but he supports trans rights.
12:02:
More vaping. Talks about tactical soap.
14:15:
RiP Chester Bennington. Having some vodka for Chester. Fuck suicide. Talks about Good Mythical Morning.
17:42:
Puts on a good Mythical morning video for 2 seconds and starts talking about Chester Bennington being murdered by Hollywood pedos. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Talks about a video he saw of a Linkin Park song being played on a bell tower.
22:15:
Drinking songs make people want to drink. Back to talking about Chester.
27:40:
Miming the song into a bottle of vodka.
31:00:
Talks about the tazer he got in his care package and he wants to make a movie about a gene spliced snake. Vipertech #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement shows off his sperg shirt. Okay to say sperg if you are one. Life is precious, lice it to the fullest. Shows off the cigars and tobacco he got in his care package.
35:35:
Back to talking about Chester. Fuck suicide. People giving alcohol a bad name. Got screwed out of $100 because the PayPal transfer still didn't work. Opens his new lighter.
40:00:
Not trying to replace Chester but going to sing just like him. Vaping and coughing. Vocal cover singing into his vodka bottle.
46:14:
Got his bike fixed. Finishes the vodka.
47:55:
Guitar. Mumbles to his rape demon. Checks the vodka to see if its empty. Cracks open another bottle of vodka. Guitar shredding. Not an alcoholic. Back to guitar shredding.
58:00:
Humble bragging about playing guitar. Back to the video and drinking vodka. Drops the vodka cap. Guitar shredding. Back to the video.
1:01:30:
Chemistry is potions class. He just prof. Snaped our brains. Science is magic. Guitar shredding. Talks about his guitar. Back to guitar shredding. Back to the video. Drinking vodka and dancing in his chair. Plays the national anthem.
1:09:00:
Puts the vodka away. Talks about drinking vodka at 9am. Back to the video. Says she's a but tipsy. Guitar shredding. Talks about his guitar. Back to the video for 2 seconds.
1:12:10:
Moar vodka.
1:13:01:
Unexpected sneeze x2
1:14:12:
Global warming. Talks about his guitar. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Vaping and coughing. Moar vodka. Sitting in a drunken stupor.
1:21:46:
Chester was murdered mumbling. Whispers to his rape demon.
1:24:17:
Checks his phone. Trolls are jealous fans send him alcohol. Kobes is 30 so he's old enough to enjoy tobacco. Puts his collar and bandana on. Reads a fan text. Hat on. Back to the video.
1:29:00:
Singing onto his vodka bottle. Moar vodka. Looks like he's going to puke. Back to the video.
1:32:14:
Dancing in his chair with his vodka. Watching the video and drooling.
1:36:15:
Mumbling about flavoured tobacco getting banned. Wanders off.
1:37:22:
Returns to vape and cough. Talks about vaping and cigarellos .
1:41:35:
Passing out. Moar vodka.
1:43:24:
Drooling drunk
1:44:34:
Shows off his wand. Vaping. Drooling. Mumbling. Coughing.
1:51:15:
Mumbling a poem about trolls. Talking about summoning demons. Moar vodka. Drooling. Vaping and coughing.
1:59:09:
Moar vodka. Spits it back into the bottle. Sits in silence passing out.
2:03:23:
Smoke break.
2:24:43:
Returns. Out of breath. Ends the stream.
Start:
Only drinking 1 beer. Says he had a breakthrough with his temper earlier. Got a flat tyre on his bike. Had to cut the inner tube. Kept his temper though and walked the bike home. Going to get it fixed tomorrow.
3:45:
Puts on a video for 2 seconds. Pissed off about his bike. Back to the video. Its an Isayic Butterfield tranny rage bait video.
5:04:
Talking about pregnant man emoji. Back to the video for 2 seconds. Parrots what's said in the video. Back to the video. Fuck suicide. Back to the video.
8:49:
Switches off the video. Swatting flies. People too easily offended.
10:08:
Not an alcoholic. Just having 1 beer. Says he's quite sober. Kobes doesn't care about pregnant man emoji.
 
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ThrowawayForCobra said:
Warlord is out early on probation.
Click to expand...
This is actually news to me. Good for him, I sure hope those reports of him being punked out weren't true.
TheGooGooMuck said:
Honestly that's an excellent idea. Watching the recap of the Wendy's saga, you forget how proud Josh could be of his job at Wendy's. It's a thankless job and people are shitheads. That sense of pride would eventually wear off. A mule or goat is always happy to see someone with a bag of feed. Animals won't give a fuck if he smells or be put off by his autism.
Click to expand...
Go back and watch that saga; he routinely fucked up, was by his own admission slow, was apparently reprimanded by sticking his hands in a urinal, and was routinely hours late. And that was a "lobby assistant" gig, a position i've only heard of being held by two legendary retards; Kobes and CWC.

I'd be legitimately shocked if there was any gig he could actually hold without constantly fucking up and being reduced to one hour weeks.
 
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Working on a ranch somewhere is his best bet if he wants to have a steady job that he can keep if he's concerned about trolls. It's out of the way, he's not in a public place where people wanting to fuck with him can just show up, and there's no HR department for retarded weens to call. It's a situation where the only one to blame for his potential on-the-job failures is himself.
 
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