Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Clint's Burden]

I have nothing but respect for content creators who don't try to aggressively monetize everything. This is an incredible amount of work, thanks for sharing.

Did you ever get anything playable? Even a demo would be rad

No demo, though I can probably tell you about it.

• The intro was done. I was re-writing parts that I didn't think were good for that. There was a lot of expository dialogue, I wanted to cut it down to something a little more palatable.
• The plot was done, everything was written out for it.
• The cooking, drink combo and wand crafting system were entirely there, ingredients were there, recipes were fleshed out on paper. The cooking system was being implemented, the other two weren't just yet.
• Skills were done, animations for them were....about 15-20% done, I wanna say.
• I had a fairly sizable amount of enemies that were purchased, and I was implementing them for the areas that I had.
• I was mostly fixated on environment design. As long as I could have the environments, I could fill them with sub-quests and main quest behavior. I had large parts of Casper already done, with only the sewer area entrance to finish and a single suburb map. There were more environments planned, Evansville and Mills being of roughly equal size. There was Casper Mountain and a stadium area you had to sneak into to see an Ozzy show, via some ventilation ducts. Similar to the portion of Chrono Trigger, where you're captured on the Blackbird. Really liked that idea.
• Music was well into being done. Just some polishing and some extra tracks to be made.
• Character designs were done, for the most part.
• Battle system was done, if only in the process of being tweaked here and there. That was a long portion of development, because I was fixated on making it look a very specific, certain way and that can be challenging with conflicting scripts. Eventually worked itself out, though.
• Build-A-Boglim system was basically done, I just had.....4 more versions to do, and I had to write out a lot of the descriptions and stuff.
• Items were somewhat done. I had it all planned out, I just didn't have time to implement all of them. Sodas/Drink Combos would replenish MP, food or cooking combos for health, various smokables were for healing status effects and reviving characters.
• Weapons were planned out but not implemented yet. Josh's weapons were, of course, as you could craft wands. You could either equip them or sell them on The PayPigPal Network, via his computer in his room. Had an actual computer interface with clickable icons planned, too. It was still gunna be rudimentary. That's how you made money in the game if you weren't grinding; By finding sticks, going to the hardware store, custom building them and selling them for a sum of money that was dictated by their level of quality. Sticks, pieces of leather, chains, 10 or so colours of spray paint, everything had a quality.
• There were.....8 chapters planned, two for each season. I had the assets for the seasonal changes, it wasn't hard at all to do. Had a Halloween themed chapter planned out involving Damien and Megan resurrecting undead, civil war soldiers and holding Undead Homeboy Scotty captive. The Christmas chapter would have been fun, too. I had a lot of fun stuff planned out and it wasn't going to be super difficult to implement it.

Have you thought about giving the game assets/progress you've made to someone else? As in have someone else finish the game for you?

Can't release purchased assets to anyone, as per their agreement. I can release assets I've created or heavily edited, to the point where they aren't distinguishable, I've posted a lot of them here.

I sincerely do not think it's in anyone's best interest to take up this game or complete it. I wouldn't encourage you to do so either. Not because I don't want to see it made, or because I don't believe someone could do a better job, I'm more than confident someone could. I just don't wanna be part of putting someone through the same experience I had, ultimately wasting a lot of their time.

If someone wants to make a game though, I can't stop you. Please consider making it about something else and placing your talents into something you'll be proud of, though. Not this shit.

 

[SnusBurns]

it's fucking crazy how this retard makes real money off his trash crafts & yet somehow lacks the imagination or gumption to keep producing them on a regular basis or branch out into any other medium

You seem to think that stealing wood off public trees and spraying them down with the cheapest spraypaint on the shelf is easy.

All jokes aside, Josh has managed to only make 15 wands in his new place, including the latest batch. His new apartment will be a full year in early November.

 

[Dick Pooman]

Can't release purchased assets to anyone, as per their agreement. I can release assets I've created or heavily edited, to the point where they aren't distinguishable, I've posted a lot of them here.

Are you able to upload any of the music tracks from the game? That song that plays while Cobra is walking around before he opens the costume closet sounds hilarious.

 

[kingcobradev]

Sup doods. I came to register and respond to TWUGames quitting the game. I made a 3D fps game myself https://professionalwandmaker.itch.io/ (trailer here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqk5wXeuREI) and TWU was a supportive and more than cool person.

Beyond putting a playable demo out I also made loads of OC videos (music videos and clips) and I sincerely did it because I loved the community and empathized with Josh himself (between phases of outright hating him and what he represented) and all I can say is Games made the right call. Like himself I deleted my redclit account.

The subreddit was plenty positive and supportive of my own project (as they were for TWU) but we all know that sub (like Josh) has become stillborn garbage, stagnant water. What Josh is now is an abomination and the people (some of them mods) attempting to gatekeep that subreddit, it's just not worth it. You set out to make a meme game for someone they despise and seek ownership of (as I did myself) but it just doesn't make sense anymore. Whether they play your game or not, they HATE Joshua Saunders (understandably) and will always see your game as a footnote in comparison to the most recent video of Josh getting shit face drunk with his tiny FAS brain funded by their dough nations.

I'm proud of you for making the decision to let it go and I hope you know for what it's worth you added genuine humor to an objectively depressing underground figure. That is what is up.

 

[Clint's Burden]

Are you able to upload any of the music tracks from the game? That song that plays while Cobra is walking around before he opens the costume closet sounds hilarious.

https://soundcloud.com/zazzlebar/sets/cancelled-game-ost

Track should be called “Rural Credits" my man.

 

[kingcobradev]

One more thing I want to say about the sub/reddit. Reddit is seriously bad right now. The degradation of the sub is indicative of the site as a whole. We all hit a climax of posting OC and making games the past couple years in the KCJFS sub and those days are so so very over, even though only a few months ago we were in peak creativity. Those days are gone. Redclit is a hive of "people" seething over their own identity crisis and politics. It was always that, but it seeped into even the most obscure subs like the KCJFS sub and it will never recover. We were seriously the last bastion. That's why even the most prolific youtubers like Bitesize are tapping out.

 

[Genetic Mt. Dew]

I think the rabbit hole goes deeper than TWUGames likes to think it does. Esp. around reddit/discord a-logs.

As far as I can tell there are multiple layers to this entire thing.

First layer - pretty much the useful idiot layer which is the head mod of the subreddit BigEye4You he's a britbong who started the sub, doesn't seem to participate in any of the discords but does speak with Soggy aka BiteSize aka Mountain Wizard #1 also another Britbong- BigEye seems to be your run of the mill redditor although he was deathly ill for some time. There is also a new mod of the sub who I think falls into the category of another normie redditor.

Second layer - a-log mods - these are the ones who all chat to one another and courtney on discord. They seem to want to feel special, in this layer you have the Captain of Autism himself GothicKingOprah aka Oprah aka The One Armed Man yes, that's right, he apparently only has one arm. That dude is the ultimate gatekeeper and knows more about Josh than just about anyone. Also in those discords are a bunch of fat female whales who love to 'pretend' to like Josh so that they can all share and view his cock pictures.

Third layer - This contains Cameron/Ryan aka Snails aka Liquid Cobra aka RealKingKobra that's the canuck who thinks he can make money or fame off of lolcows or something. Who knows? Also in this layer I would put Republican_Atheist aka The Mick aka Patrick Kelly he's an interesting character (and in this current thread so I'll let him speak for himself). He found Josh via trappped as he is one of the producers for their sketches back in the day and is close friends with Andrew Ruse.

Republican et al. hate Oprah with a passion and see him and Courtney as being a cancer on the ass of the 'Cobraverse'. They've joked in the past about having Oprah's other arm taken off, they have the money and the means but I doubt they actually care enough. Then there is Don Picton who is also involved and financed the second documentary - Republican financed the first and second.

No idea how much this all fits together but I can tell you that Oprah at least, is in deep with the other a-logs. Even though he considers himself the ultimate gatekeeper - go figure.

Snails also paid Scotty to install some malware on Josh's computer so he could remotely monitor him but Scotty took the money and fucked up the install, or so I'm told.

All really interesting information and quite a lot to take in. What's nuts is how many small but totally separate communities have formed around Josh. The reddit has definitely taken some pretty massive swings over the last few years and the reason all of the children there don't understand it is because they created the current "culture" there.

I'm not at all surprised to see that people hate Oprah. He's been nice the few times I've chatted with him but you can tell he thinks he's the real King.

it's fucking crazy how this retard makes real money off his trash crafts & yet somehow lacks the imagination or gumption to keep producing them on a regular basis or branch out into any other medium

It's honestly crazy to me why he isn't pumping out these wnds left and right. Even Clint said this to him when he first quit the dish pit to focus on wnd making, and he was doing well for the first 4 -5 batches. Now he's been ruined though. He knows he can do 45 minutes worth total of work and make $234 no problem, and all he's out is a discounted bar of bond soap.

If the guy made 10 wnds a month, he'd have more money than he knew what to do with.

 

[kingcobradev]

They're legitimately fucking mad over it. That's not what's up

They are (some of them) genuinely unhappy people who attempt to con normal people and/or exceptional people into feeling their own discontent. They are reddit. I myself was routinely insulted by the mod gothickingoprah for daring to make a game of the subject he was gatekeeping. For some reason they have convinced themself they are above other lolcow farms. They are in fact the bottom of the internet, even 4ch has more frivolity.

 

[Dick Pooman]

Third layer - This contains Cameron/Ryan aka Snails aka Liquid Cobra aka RealKingKobra

Is this the same guy who had the pretend YouTube feud with Josh saying that he was the "real" KingCobraJFS and said he was going to open a competing wand store?

 

[DarkJordDrinkCombos]

Is this the same guy who had the pretend YouTube feud with Josh saying that he was the "real" KingCobraJFS and said he was going to open a competing wand store?

yea, he private all his cobra stuff though and is seemingly done with the community.

 

[kingcobradev]

Is this the same guy who had the pretend YouTube feud with Josh saying that he was the "real" KingCobraJFS and said he was going to open a competing wand store?

The KingKobra era was a low point that the subreddit chooses to ignore because it was so embarrasing they refuse to acknowledge it happened. If they had any dignity they would have ignored it or banned the subhumans pushing it. They did the opposite because going on facecam with a bandana for internet attention was something they could see themselves doing. Something they could empathize with. Making genuine OC? Making a game? Like Josh, this only intimidates them.

 

[Clint's Burden]

All really interesting information and quite a lot to take in. What's nuts is how many small but totally separate communities have formed around Josh. The reddit has definitely taken some pretty massive swings over the last few years and the reason all of the children there don't understand it is because they created the current "culture" there.

I'm not at all surprised to see that people hate Oprah. He's been nice the few times I've chatted with him but you can tell he thinks he's the real King.


It's honestly crazy to me why he isn't pumping out these wnds left and right. Even Clint said this to him when he first quit the dish pit to focus on wnd making, and he was doing well for the first 4 -5 batches. Now he's been ruined though. He knows he can do 45 minutes worth total of work and make $234 no problem, and all he's out is a discounted bar of bond soap.

If the guy made 10 wnds a month, he'd have more money than he knew what to do with.

Josh is aware that this is something he could do, though he refuses, as the level of work involved would be much harder than what he could and currently is doing.

His bills are basically paid, along with his groceries and amenities. People buy his shirts, they buy his wands, they send him money and whatever dopamine fix he’s chasing and if ever there’s a problem, his dad will usually bail him out.

Josh can basically just do nothing except hedonistically drink and eat, almost entirely at his own whim. He can sleep all day, drink all day, pretty do whatever he wants whenever he wants. Without any sort of responsibility or expectations placed on him.

My man basically stumbled ass over tea kettle into his own early retirement plan. Of course, I don’t envy the guy. He’s not very bright, people constantly fuck with him and he’s got his own assortment of nuances to his grift but it works for him, I guess.

 

[kingcobradev]

Josh is aware that this is something he could do, though he refuses, as the level of work involved would be much harder than what he could and currently is doing.

His bills are basically paid, along with his groceries and amenities. People buy his shirts, they buy his wands, they send him money and whatever dopamine fix he’s chasing and if ever there’s a problem, his dad will usually bail him out.

Josh can basically just do nothing except hedonistically drink and eat, almost entirely at his own whim. He can sleep all day, drink all day, pretty do whatever he wants whenever he wants. Without any sort of responsibility or expectations placed on him.

My man basically stumbled ass over tea kettle into his own early retirement plan. Of course, I don’t envy the guy. He’s not very bright, people constantly fuck with him and he’s got his own assortment of nuances to his grift but it works for him, I guess.

If there is one thing both myself and the subreddit could agree on: Josh is a piece of shit these days. They don't understand the meaning of seeing the best in him and believe making a game about him is a way to worship him. I think what they really want more than a game is X amount of people to join in and state the obvious about the current cobra: he is a piece of shit living off handouts from people who hate him. He can never and would never acknowledge anything positive made about him.

If someone wants to make a game though, I can't stop you.

The "official" subreddit already did more than enough to stop people from making a game about Josh. I say this not just from my own experience but from witnessing reactions to your own decisions.

We could have done something worthwhile for an internet subculture but we saw the signs and were told explicitly: just let it go. The real game now is guessing when this lolcow will die of "fan" funded alcoholism.

Just ask yourself this: how do two gamedevs simultaneously decide within one year that a lolcow isn't worth finishing a free to play game about?

The community and the person it was built around has something to do with it right? Not in reddit world. Not in the current cobra era. Somehow we just "don't get it".

Sorry Josh. Sorry "official" subredclit. YOU don't get it. You've become unironic garbage.

 

[Clint's Burden]

Just ask yourself this: how do two gamedevs simultaneously decide within one year that a lolcow isn't worth finishing a free to play game about? The community and the person it was built around has something to do with it right?

Not in reddit world. Not in the current cobra era. Somehow we just "don't get it".

No Josh. NO "official" subredclit. YOU don't get it.

It's alright, bud. Let her go, it's not worth getting upset about. Said what you had to say about it, now put some positivity back into your life. Don't fixate on some shit that isn't worth your time.

 

[Wendell Stamps]

My first farms post but here we go; if I fuck up, berate me.

I genuinely jumped over here just to see the full departure notice from @ThrowawayForCobra as I remember a few back and forth’s we had over the development of the game, so I’m a bit saddened about the decision to scrap it all; yet I support and understand it. I’ve also not been active in the sub for a long time due to the same reasons that have caused him, and @kingcobradev to dip out from their long-term projects. I’ve met and lost “friends” on the sub simply because I didn’t share their rage when he first turned off his chat, many months ago. Not that anyone cares but it’s true, that place has become a pit.

oh, and Oprah can definitely get fucked. Didn’t know he only had one arm, lmao.

 

[Ellesse_warrior]

Josh is aware that this is something he could do, though he refuses, as the level of work involved would be much harder than what he could and currently is doing.

His bills are basically paid, along with his groceries and amenities. People buy his shirts, they buy his wands, they send him money and whatever dopamine fix he’s chasing and if ever there’s a problem, his dad will usually bail him out.

Josh can basically just do nothing except hedonistically drink and eat, almost entirely at his own whim. He can sleep all day, drink all day, pretty do whatever he wants whenever he wants. Without any sort of responsibility or expectations placed on him.

My man basically stumbled ass over tea kettle into his own early retirement plan. Of course, I don’t envy the guy. He’s not very bright, people constantly fuck with him and he’s got his own assortment of nuances to his grift but it works for him, I guess.

If Kobes made sensible decisions he wouldn't be a lolcow and probably no one would watch his streams or find him interesting enough to talk about

 

[New & Improved Username]

If the reddit fags are reading here - do not send Cobes hair removal shit in a shampoo bottle. You could seriously damage his eyes, like hospital/permanent damage/cops involved.

 

[Ellesse_warrior]

Here's more 2016 archives and BCV summaries

Spoiler: ARCHIVES & BCV SUMMARIES AUGUST 2-15th 2016

Makeing an example 2016-08-2 Josh gets a Christian postcard in the mail but without thinking, Josh shows the postcard and reveals his full address | 1:45 fuck this cocksucker right here | 2:15 fuck your skygod! Josh tears it up and spits on it in the trash | 2:50 Josh is mad that they are trying to shove their religion down your through while Satanists wouldn't do it | 3:50 Josh rants about religion | Josh noodles on guitar for a long time | Marlbro smooth 100 review 2016-08-03 0:50 Josh got paid but didn't get that much from work | 1:58 Steve and his wife are over helping him out with something | 3:00 Josh's next pay check should be larger | Josh washed his bandana | 4:18 Josh finished work and someone gave Josh a bottle of Jager | 6:10 Jeremy Rogers' birthday is tomorrow and he's going to his birthday party and Steve bought an AR 15 | 7:20 a fan is in Casper and left him a note | 11:21 Josh may be poor but he never complains about it | Josh talks about breastfeeding in public | Eating a Wendys Cheese burger and frys 2016-08-06 Josh eats a burger and fries | Audio is out of sync | I got some pipe tobacco sent to me 2016-08-08 Josh deleted the video of him ripping up the religious postcard but it was too late, the fans had his full address | 0:50 Oprah sends Josh a card | 2:22 Josh can't spend the dollar on the sex doll | Josh talks about the pipe tobacco sent to him and wendys food | 11:18 Josh plugs his PayPal | 12:07 Josh can't save up because he's not getting a lot of money from work | Advice video 2016-08-09 Someone in the comments calls Josh dumb for drinking/smoking stuff sent to him by a fan | 3:00 Josh mentions getting a sex doll because of his autism | 4:33 Josh would rather smoke weed then have sex | 5:50 Josh was convinced in high school that he would never get a girlfriend | 8:54 Josh has standards when it comes to women | 9:33 Josh slept in until 2pm on his day off | 13:22 Josh made 4/5 of the women he fucked orgasm | 14:32 Josh talks about saving up for a sex doll and talks about winning the lottery | 33:00 Josh says when he doesn't try, he gets a girlfriend so he's not trying anymore | 35:00 Josh has used his mind powers in the bar to make girls look at him | 38:47 for Josh's 4k subs he's going to do the t-rex burger challenge | Not trying 2016-08-09 Josh's hair looks good, you can't tell he has trikateria | 4:00 Josh got told not to repress his sexual urges, Josh talks about being single and struggling with dating | Josh talks about Casper's bars being no smoking | 12:40 the sandbar got shut down, Josh talks about quarter beer night | Josh talks about local bars | 15:23 Josh talks about a bartender in the Sandbar giving Josh shit for being a Satanist and she got fired | 22:40 - 25:44 Josh saw a raven haired goth girl in the Sandbar Wendy's Chicken sandwitch review 2016-08-12 Josh eats a burger and fries Silly Circles foood review 2016-08-12 Josh reviews a cereal called 'silly circles' | Josh was too lazy to wash a spoon so he's using a fork instead | 20:43 caffeine | 21:31 Josh gives a shout out to Jack Me-hoff | 22:14 Josh gets told to change his look to get a girlfriend and removes loads of comments | 24:03 someone should send a pocket pussy | 27:22 Josh gets asked how often he washes his hair and he will leave it a few days so the grease builds up | Want a King Cobra t shirt 2016-08-15 Josh made a custom t-shirt to sell | 2:33 if you buy a shirt and wear it and send Josh a picture you will get a shout out | 3:00 Josh thinks they will sell really well because of what happened to the pins made by a fan | 5:20 Josh went out skateboarding before Making steak and eggs 2016-08-15 7:50 Josh burns his steak and it gets really smoky | 14:25 Josh got a new microwave | 22:35 Josh eats it off the plate close up |

Spoiler: ARCHIVE KingCobraJFS - Smoked Salmon

 

[Buffalo Chicken Sandwich]

Whole lot of bitching and moaning in this thread today.

I really try and keep my cobra talk here fun, but let's try something different

@ThrowawayForCobra Games, it sucks to hear that the game isn't coming out, but I have to say I am not surprised in any way. You've been teasing it for years, and I'm sure you've been doing your best every single day, but it's still a bit letdown, especially when you're making a fucking earthbound clone in rpg maker. I hate reddit as much as the next cool cobra, but you have earned their ire, currently.

Rate me mad if you want, but you guys are shitting this thread up because you want attention for something you're not going to complete.

 

[Umaibae]

Wait, so you think TWUgames is talking about the mods of the subreddit? You think they are a-logs? This post is confusing because those mods are often accused of simping for josh too much. Isn't that the opposite of an a-log?

Most of the actual a-log posters seem to hate the mods on the subreddit.

Nah, the mod “hate” is tame and/or nonexistent compared to how it was a few years ago. People were not afraid to call out Oprah for being a gatekeeping weirdo on a regular basis, and the sub was pretty quick to shut down all forms of poop touchery, power leveling and faggotry. It was mainly a place to make jokes/perpetuate Jord’s sayings, look at good fan art and video edits, and keep up with the tard and his tard exploits. It hasn’t been like that in far too long. The Reddit crowd now blindly worships whatever idiot comes in and backs up the current vibe — like the Teatherd guy.

(Speaking of power leveling: It has gotten MUCH worse on the sub, esp. with all the people who see no shame in letting the world know they’re an alcoholic, they have terrible hygiene, they aren’t getting laid, they’re autistic, etc. Some posters are becoming bigger cows than Cobra.)

I like that one Reddit moron says someone here suggested the “bad” content creators like Teathered should “hang themselves.” No such comment here in the last 10 pages. lol

No demo, though I can probably tell you about it.

• The intro was done. I was re-writing parts that I didn't think were good for that. There was a lot of expository dialogue, I wanted to cut it down to something a little more palatable.
• The plot was done, everything was written out for it.
• The cooking, drink combo and wand crafting system were entirely there, ingredients were there, recipes were fleshed out on paper. The cooking system was being implemented, the other two weren't just yet.
• Skills were done, animations for them were....about 15-20% done, I wanna say.
• I had a fairly sizable amount of enemies that were purchased, and I was implementing them for the areas that I had.
• I was mostly fixated on environment design. As long as I could have the environments, I could fill them with sub-quests and main quest behavior. I had large parts of Casper already done, with only the sewer area entrance to finish and a single suburb map. There were more environments planned, Evansville and Mills being of roughly equal size. There was Casper Mountain and a stadium area you had to sneak into to see an Ozzy show, via some ventilation ducts. Similar to the portion of Chrono Trigger, where you're captured on the Blackbird. Really liked that idea.
• Music was well into being done. Just some polishing and some extra tracks to be made.
• Character designs were done, for the most part.
• Battle system was done, if only in the process of being tweaked here and there. That was a long portion of development, because I was fixated on making it look a very specific, certain way and that can be challenging with conflicting scripts. Eventually worked itself out, though.
• Build-A-Boglim system was basically done, I just had.....4 more versions to do, and I had to write out a lot of the descriptions and stuff.
• Items were somewhat done. I had it all planned out, I just didn't have time to implement all of them. Sodas/Drink Combos would replenish MP, food or cooking combos for health, various smokables were for healing status effects and reviving characters.
• Weapons were planned out but not implemented yet. Josh's weapons were, of course, as you could craft wands. You could either equip them or sell them on The PayPigPal Network, via his computer in his room. Had an actual computer interface with clickable icons planned, too. It was still gunna be rudimentary. That's how you made money in the game if you weren't grinding; By finding sticks, going to the hardware store, custom building them and selling them for a sum of money that was dictated by their level of quality. Sticks, pieces of leather, chains, 10 or so colours of spray paint, everything had a quality.
• There were.....8 chapters planned, two for each season. I had the assets for the seasonal changes, it wasn't hard at all to do. Had a Halloween themed chapter planned out involving Damien and Megan resurrecting undead, civil war soldiers and holding Undead Homeboy Scotty captive. The Christmas chapter would have been fun, too. I had a lot of fun stuff planned out and it wasn't going to be super difficult to implement it.

Can't release purchased assets to anyone, as per their agreement. I can release assets I've created or heavily edited, to the point where they aren't distinguishable, I've posted a lot of them here.

I sincerely do not think it's in anyone's best interest to take up this game or complete it. I wouldn't encourage you to do so either. Not because I don't want to see it made, or because I don't believe someone could do a better job, I'm more than confident someone could. I just don't wanna be part of putting someone through the same experience I had, ultimately wasting a lot of their time.

If someone wants to make a game though, I can't stop you. Please consider making it about something else and placing your talents into something you'll be proud of, though. Not this shit.

This sounds like it would have been amazing. Thanks for letting us imagine it in all its glory.