R
RM 810
Guest
kiwifarms.net
Let's Sperg kiwifarms.net Plays Coming Out On Top - Bros Are Hoes
- Thread starter Hummingbird
- Start date
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
Narrator: At this hour, you got the pool all to yourself. Perfect. You swim enough to get your heart pumping. You feel rejuvenated. You admit, you needed this. It's as if the cool water cleared out the cobwebs in your head. Now maybe you can figure out how to meet some guys this semester. After changing back into your gym clothes, you head over to the weight room to check on Ian.
As you walk over the treadmills, you come across the racquetball courts. You recall how you spent the entire semester of your Sophomore year as a racquetball junkie. It was good way to kill time and avoid, you know, deeper issues. A game actually sounds fun right now. As you walk past, you can't help but to notice a tall, toned figure and admire him appreciatively. He reminds you of Alex.
Adam: Wait a minute-
Alex: Adam!
Narrator: Your stomach does a little flip.
Alex: Funny how we keep running into each other like this.
Adam: Ha, ha. Yeah.
Narrator: Alex glances at your hair, still wet from your swim.
Alex: Enjoy the pool this morning?
Adam: Yeah. I'm trying to keep in shape.
Well, my racquetball partner just called to say he's bailing on me. So how about it?
Adam: Play? A game? With you? (now thinking) What happened? To complete sentences? Why am I? Sputtering incoherently? Get! A hold of! Yourself!
As you walk over the treadmills, you come across the racquetball courts. You recall how you spent the entire semester of your Sophomore year as a racquetball junkie. It was good way to kill time and avoid, you know, deeper issues. A game actually sounds fun right now. As you walk past, you can't help but to notice a tall, toned figure and admire him appreciatively. He reminds you of Alex.
Adam: Wait a minute-
Alex: Adam!
Narrator: Your stomach does a little flip.
Alex: Funny how we keep running into each other like this.
Adam: Ha, ha. Yeah.
Narrator: Alex glances at your hair, still wet from your swim.
Alex: Enjoy the pool this morning?
Adam: Yeah. I'm trying to keep in shape.
Well, my racquetball partner just called to say he's bailing on me. So how about it?
Adam: Play? A game? With you? (now thinking) What happened? To complete sentences? Why am I? Sputtering incoherently? Get! A hold of! Yourself!
caffeinated_wench
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2013
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
Narrator: You borrow a racquet and goggles from the equipment desk. The racquet feels heavy and clumsy in your hand. No wonder its been two years since you handled one. You were a decent, and at times, formidable player. But it's been a while. Plus you're more than a little nervous, given the circumstances.
Alex: Just a quick game, ok? First to ten wins?
Narrator: You hear the eagerness in Alex's voice.
Adam: Sounds good. Let's go.
Narrator: Alex easily mops up the first three points. Your racquet connects with more air than rubber. You're getting demolished. He's up to four to zero when you make your first point. Finally, your body starts to remember how to play. You're begging to make your hits. And not only that, directing the ball instead of chasing it around like a noob. Alex, whose seemingly been coasting, starts to look a little worried. You're catching up quickly. You're also panting and sweating profusely. It's gratifying to see that he is too. Speaking of which, from your position behind him, you see his toned, muscular shoulders. He flexes his well-defined arms, ready to pounce on your serve.
Alex: Just a quick game, ok? First to ten wins?
Narrator: You hear the eagerness in Alex's voice.
Adam: Sounds good. Let's go.
Narrator: Alex easily mops up the first three points. Your racquet connects with more air than rubber. You're getting demolished. He's up to four to zero when you make your first point. Finally, your body starts to remember how to play. You're begging to make your hits. And not only that, directing the ball instead of chasing it around like a noob. Alex, whose seemingly been coasting, starts to look a little worried. You're catching up quickly. You're also panting and sweating profusely. It's gratifying to see that he is too. Speaking of which, from your position behind him, you see his toned, muscular shoulders. He flexes his well-defined arms, ready to pounce on your serve.
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
Adam: (thinking) Mother of God.
Narrator: You take a mental snapshot of that sweet, sweet butt for later use. Unfortunately, with visions of his juicy backside burned in your head, you've lost your edge. Alex slams the ball into a corner and it whizzes past you on the rebound. You dive helplessly a sacrifice another point. Alex surges ahead. You try to get your head back into the game, but it's too late. You've lost your concentration and your balance. Alex wins 10 to 6. You drip with perspiration. You lean against the wall and try to catch your breath. Alex looks sweaty, but relaxed.
Alex: Good game, Adam. I really thought you were going to come around in the last half there. Thanks for playing.
Narrator: He reaches out and shakes your hand. It's just a handshake, but his grip sends a shiver down your spine.
Alex: See you in class.
Narrator: He walks off and you return your equipment. As you turn towards the treadmills, you nearly run over an unfamiliar girl hanging out near the courts.
Narrator: For one thing, she isn't dressed for going to the gym. She seems completely out of place. You wonder if she's waiting for somebody. After giving you an odd, indecipherable look. She quickly turns away. You feel unsettled.
Thirty minutes later...
Narrator: Ian meets you out in the hall.
Adam: That was quick.
Dirk: What's wrong?
Ian: This girl, she looked at me. She looked at me, then she looked at my arms, then she looked right at my eyes. Then she gave me this smirk and said, 'don't get too big.'
Adam: Oh, how terrible.
Ian: Adam, I don't know if I want to live in this world any more. I mean, how can arms be too big?
Adam: Everyone's got a preference. Just take a deep breath and it'll be ok.
Ian: Anyway, can we go?
Adam: Sure, just let me shower and change.
Ian: This is supposed to be a safe zone for out kind, Adam. A place where we don't have to fear about being desexualized by women's seemingly arbitrary and unfair standards. What am I supposed to do? Sit around and let everything atrophy? Get weaker and weaker until my limbs are like spaghetti spilling all over the place?
Adam: All right, all right, fine.
Narrator: You take Ian back to the apartment. You finally got some downtime this weekend. In your studies, you're close to flunking out. You and Penny are getting along these days. Recently, you and Ian are doing great. And finally, you got $260 in savings.
Narrator: You take a mental snapshot of that sweet, sweet butt for later use. Unfortunately, with visions of his juicy backside burned in your head, you've lost your edge. Alex slams the ball into a corner and it whizzes past you on the rebound. You dive helplessly a sacrifice another point. Alex surges ahead. You try to get your head back into the game, but it's too late. You've lost your concentration and your balance. Alex wins 10 to 6. You drip with perspiration. You lean against the wall and try to catch your breath. Alex looks sweaty, but relaxed.
Alex: Good game, Adam. I really thought you were going to come around in the last half there. Thanks for playing.
Narrator: He reaches out and shakes your hand. It's just a handshake, but his grip sends a shiver down your spine.
Alex: See you in class.
Narrator: He walks off and you return your equipment. As you turn towards the treadmills, you nearly run over an unfamiliar girl hanging out near the courts.
Narrator: For one thing, she isn't dressed for going to the gym. She seems completely out of place. You wonder if she's waiting for somebody. After giving you an odd, indecipherable look. She quickly turns away. You feel unsettled.
Thirty minutes later...
Narrator: Ian meets you out in the hall.
Adam: That was quick.
Dirk: What's wrong?
Ian: This girl, she looked at me. She looked at me, then she looked at my arms, then she looked right at my eyes. Then she gave me this smirk and said, 'don't get too big.'
Adam: Oh, how terrible.
Ian: Adam, I don't know if I want to live in this world any more. I mean, how can arms be too big?
Adam: Everyone's got a preference. Just take a deep breath and it'll be ok.
Ian: Anyway, can we go?
Adam: Sure, just let me shower and change.
Ian: This is supposed to be a safe zone for out kind, Adam. A place where we don't have to fear about being desexualized by women's seemingly arbitrary and unfair standards. What am I supposed to do? Sit around and let everything atrophy? Get weaker and weaker until my limbs are like spaghetti spilling all over the place?
Adam: All right, all right, fine.
Narrator: You take Ian back to the apartment. You finally got some downtime this weekend. In your studies, you're close to flunking out. You and Penny are getting along these days. Recently, you and Ian are doing great. And finally, you got $260 in savings.
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
I didn't get a response and we need to keep the game going so we're going to do some dang studying. Since this one was a bit long, I cut some small stuff.
Narrator: You spend some extra time going over a tough chapter.
Monday...
Narrator: Looks like a hectic week ahead. You dive into your reading assignments. It's time for the next anatomy lecture. Your stomach still flutters with butterflies. In any case, you promised yourself that you would try to pay attention today. You won't get distracted this time. Alex does seem to acknowledge you, aside from a perfunctory nod. Well, at least he's keeping it professional. You guess he will be level headed about things. After all, it's not him you so much have to worry about. It's you and your filthy, wandering thoughts. You need to get a grip. You're just another student of his.
Alex: -so when you crush the muscle fibers and connective tissues underneath,
Adam: I need to focus.
Alex: but don't break the skin, you have a bruise-
Adam: (thinking) Concentrate!
Adam: (thinking) Don't do this to me, brain.
Alex: -as the blood flow is disrupted-
Adam: (Thinking) Get it together, Adam!
-it's similar in certain aspects, but not at all of the same things as a clot-
Narrator: You feel your member engorgin with blood as you look down in horror as your extremely visable boner reveals itself along your pants' leg.
Adam: (thinking) Think about girls. Think about girls.
-clots get all the press, but contrusions are actually-
Boner, I command you to leave me now!
Narrator: You grip your pen so hard that it snaps into pieces. Loudly. The broken plastic cuts into your hand and a spot of blood appears.
Adam: Shit!
Narrator: The entire class, including Alex, turns towards you.
Alex: Um, Mr. Sandler, are you alright? (In reality, his shirt reappears.)
Narrator: Your mouth agape and your eyes wide, you try to think of something to say. All while your epochal hardon tests the very physics of your denim's molecular structure.
Adam: Uh, yeah, I just, you know, hate bruises. Man, I really hate him.
Adam: Ok. Good to know. I hate them, too.
Narrator: Your boner refuses to subside and maintains its impressive size as Alex continues his lecture. As you step out of the lecture hall, Penny charges toward you with her camera poised. She seems more excited than usual.
Dirk: You know if this app thing doesn't work, you can always become a paparazzo.
Penny: Very funny, Dirk. Listen, we're putting Tanning Spray on hold! I'm embarking on something more revolutionary. Dirk, I'd like to introduce you to your new social scene, bursting with infinite possibilities.
Dirk: Brofinder? As a beta tester, I'm almost too scared to ask.
Penny: Consider it a gateway to meeting all manner of awesome dudes. I just released the beta and it's already got over a hundred users. There are even some bros around here.
Dirk: I can't wait to meet them, um him. Seriously Pennster, this is silly. First of all, I'm sure there are already a couple of apps like that for gay guys. Secondly, this seriously sounds like a social network where you just meet up with, uh, bros for a tailgate party.
Penny: But don't you see? That's the beauty of it. It's got a very laid-back vibe to it. It's not all hot-and-heavy right off the bat. I'll market it as a more casual social dating network. Imagine just meeting up with a bro at a sports bar. Talking corroborators. Trading beef jerky recipes. You know, bro things. Low key, you know? And then, if the two guys are compatible, well, that can take it from there. I told you that I'd be your wingwoman, right? Now it's time to more forward. Whenever you're ready, just log in and check for fist bumps.
Dirk: Fist bumps?
Penny: That's how you can tell if a bro likes your profile by giving you a fist bump.
Dirk: A fist pump? Why not a chest bump?
Penny: That's only if you want to meet.
Monday...
Narrator: Looks like a hectic week ahead. You dive into your reading assignments. It's time for the next anatomy lecture. Your stomach still flutters with butterflies. In any case, you promised yourself that you would try to pay attention today. You won't get distracted this time. Alex does seem to acknowledge you, aside from a perfunctory nod. Well, at least he's keeping it professional. You guess he will be level headed about things. After all, it's not him you so much have to worry about. It's you and your filthy, wandering thoughts. You need to get a grip. You're just another student of his.
Alex: -so when you crush the muscle fibers and connective tissues underneath,
Adam: I need to focus.
Alex: but don't break the skin, you have a bruise-
Adam: (thinking) Concentrate!
Adam: (thinking) Don't do this to me, brain.
Alex: -as the blood flow is disrupted-
Adam: (Thinking) Get it together, Adam!
-it's similar in certain aspects, but not at all of the same things as a clot-
Narrator: You feel your member engorgin with blood as you look down in horror as your extremely visable boner reveals itself along your pants' leg.
Adam: (thinking) Think about girls. Think about girls.
-clots get all the press, but contrusions are actually-
Boner, I command you to leave me now!
Narrator: You grip your pen so hard that it snaps into pieces. Loudly. The broken plastic cuts into your hand and a spot of blood appears.
Adam: Shit!
Narrator: The entire class, including Alex, turns towards you.
Alex: Um, Mr. Sandler, are you alright? (In reality, his shirt reappears.)
Narrator: Your mouth agape and your eyes wide, you try to think of something to say. All while your epochal hardon tests the very physics of your denim's molecular structure.
Adam: Uh, yeah, I just, you know, hate bruises. Man, I really hate him.
Adam: Ok. Good to know. I hate them, too.
Narrator: Your boner refuses to subside and maintains its impressive size as Alex continues his lecture. As you step out of the lecture hall, Penny charges toward you with her camera poised. She seems more excited than usual.
Dirk: You know if this app thing doesn't work, you can always become a paparazzo.
Penny: Very funny, Dirk. Listen, we're putting Tanning Spray on hold! I'm embarking on something more revolutionary. Dirk, I'd like to introduce you to your new social scene, bursting with infinite possibilities.
Dirk: Brofinder? As a beta tester, I'm almost too scared to ask.
Penny: Consider it a gateway to meeting all manner of awesome dudes. I just released the beta and it's already got over a hundred users. There are even some bros around here.
Dirk: I can't wait to meet them, um him. Seriously Pennster, this is silly. First of all, I'm sure there are already a couple of apps like that for gay guys. Secondly, this seriously sounds like a social network where you just meet up with, uh, bros for a tailgate party.
Penny: But don't you see? That's the beauty of it. It's got a very laid-back vibe to it. It's not all hot-and-heavy right off the bat. I'll market it as a more casual social dating network. Imagine just meeting up with a bro at a sports bar. Talking corroborators. Trading beef jerky recipes. You know, bro things. Low key, you know? And then, if the two guys are compatible, well, that can take it from there. I told you that I'd be your wingwoman, right? Now it's time to more forward. Whenever you're ready, just log in and check for fist bumps.
Dirk: Fist bumps?
Penny: That's how you can tell if a bro likes your profile by giving you a fist bump.
Dirk: A fist pump? Why not a chest bump?
Penny: That's only if you want to meet.
caffeinated_wench
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2013
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
Penny: Sweet! You rock. Stop pouting. You'll thank me when you end up having your wedding at a monster truck rally.
Tuesday...
Narrator: After a night of studying, you lie on your bed, horny. Your thoughts drift to your naked neighbor upstairs. Every Tuesday.
Tuesday...
Narrator: After a night of studying, you lie on your bed, horny. Your thoughts drift to your naked neighbor upstairs. Every Tuesday.
caffeinated_wench
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2013
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
Narrator: Your heart pounding, you slip on a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. You barely breathe as you creep down the hall, convinced your roommates will catch you at any moment. Tiptoeing inch by inch towards the door, you open it in super-slow motion, making no sound and finally escaping down the hall. You climb the stairs and walk down the hall towards your neighbor's apartment. The coast is clear.
Adam: (thinking) You like making noise, Jed? We'll see how much noise you'll be making tonight.
Narrator: You stumble towards the apartment as a boner tents up in your pants. Holding your breath, you knock. The door swings open.
Narrator: The stops talking as soon as she sees your crotch.
Girl: Oh no.
Adam: Wait.
Girl: Oh HELL no!
Adam: I can explain!
Girl: You are NOT bringing that thing in here! You better turn the fuck around,
Adam: But I thought-
Girl: and you march you and that dick to wherever you came from! THIS ISN'T A MOTHERFUCKING PORNO!
Narrator: You start backing away. Doors begin to open one by one along the hall. Like groundhogs emerging from their holes, the faces of the neighbors crease with worry. You mumble an apology while you scramble for the stairs, your cheeks burning hot pink. You cringe with embarrassment as you slink back into your bedroom. As you lie in bed, your heart pounding, you hope no one called the police. At least you're not horny any more. For the remainder of the week, you avoid eye contact with everyone in the building.
Wednesday...
Narrator: After a morning filled with classes, you meet Penny for lunch.
Penny: So how about I buy lunch today, Dirk?
Dirk: Funny, you sound just like Ian when he wants to borrow something expensive that is easy to break.
Penny: Dirk, the only thing I want to borrow from you is a bit of friendship. And your presence at a special get together on Friday.
Dirk: All my hairs are standing on the back of my neck. Your relatives must be involved.
Penny: That's just the sign of anticipation. My uncle is having a fundraiser for his re-election campaign. I'm allowed to bring one guest.
Dirk: Phil's dad? Phil's not going to be there is he? I'm still regenerating all the stomach lining I lost from having brunch with him last week. And since when have you been interested in dressing up for fancy dinners?
Penny: Since never. But there's going to be a couple of rich tech-industry types there. Including the woman who made the Shhhh-app.
Dirk: That stupid app where you press a button and it goes "Shhhh'?
Penny: One of many. She's also the mastermind behind the fart app, the queef app, the shart app, the blart app and the sproing app.
Penny: I'm going to ask is she has any advice for a struggling young developer like myself.
Dirk: Well, you certainly don't need me there. Go hang out with Phil.
Penny: But he's going to be busy working the crowd for his dad. Pleeease?
Adam: (thinking) You like making noise, Jed? We'll see how much noise you'll be making tonight.
Narrator: You stumble towards the apartment as a boner tents up in your pants. Holding your breath, you knock. The door swings open.
Narrator: The stops talking as soon as she sees your crotch.
Girl: Oh no.
Adam: Wait.
Girl: Oh HELL no!
Adam: I can explain!
Girl: You are NOT bringing that thing in here! You better turn the fuck around,
Adam: But I thought-
Girl: and you march you and that dick to wherever you came from! THIS ISN'T A MOTHERFUCKING PORNO!
Narrator: You start backing away. Doors begin to open one by one along the hall. Like groundhogs emerging from their holes, the faces of the neighbors crease with worry. You mumble an apology while you scramble for the stairs, your cheeks burning hot pink. You cringe with embarrassment as you slink back into your bedroom. As you lie in bed, your heart pounding, you hope no one called the police. At least you're not horny any more. For the remainder of the week, you avoid eye contact with everyone in the building.
Wednesday...
Narrator: After a morning filled with classes, you meet Penny for lunch.
Penny: So how about I buy lunch today, Dirk?
Dirk: Funny, you sound just like Ian when he wants to borrow something expensive that is easy to break.
Penny: Dirk, the only thing I want to borrow from you is a bit of friendship. And your presence at a special get together on Friday.
Dirk: All my hairs are standing on the back of my neck. Your relatives must be involved.
Penny: That's just the sign of anticipation. My uncle is having a fundraiser for his re-election campaign. I'm allowed to bring one guest.
Dirk: Phil's dad? Phil's not going to be there is he? I'm still regenerating all the stomach lining I lost from having brunch with him last week. And since when have you been interested in dressing up for fancy dinners?
Penny: Since never. But there's going to be a couple of rich tech-industry types there. Including the woman who made the Shhhh-app.
Dirk: That stupid app where you press a button and it goes "Shhhh'?
Penny: One of many. She's also the mastermind behind the fart app, the queef app, the shart app, the blart app and the sproing app.
Penny: I'm going to ask is she has any advice for a struggling young developer like myself.
Dirk: Well, you certainly don't need me there. Go hang out with Phil.
Penny: But he's going to be busy working the crowd for his dad. Pleeease?
caffeinated_wench
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2013
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
Penny: Aw, you're the best, Dirk. Making these valuable industry connections is the most important thing I could be doing right now. Especially for the product I've got planned.
Thursday...
Narrator: The next morning, you receive another email from the coordinator at the Student Learning Center. She asks if you could return to the athletic house after your classes today.
Thursday...
Narrator: The next morning, you receive another email from the coordinator at the Student Learning Center. She asks if you could return to the athletic house after your classes today.
caffeinated_wench
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2013
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
Narrator: After classes, you head to the athletic house. As you wait for someone to answer the door, you get a nervous flutter in your stomach.
Dirk: (thought) Shit, what's wrong with me? Snap out of it, Sandler. This English comp class is a fundamental building block of education. I, Adam Sandler, am going to make Brad see that academics aren't a waste of time.
Narrator: You imagine Brad taking a mic at a post-game conference.
Imaginary Brad: I'd like to thank my couch, my team and the man upstairs. But I especially want to thank my main man, best friend and tutor, Adam Sandler. Adam showed me how to communicate as beautifully on a page as I do in the field.
Narrator: The room erupts in thunderous applause. Whistles and howls of approval fill the room. You sigh, imagining. You're catapulted back into reality as you stand face-to-face with Brad who reeks of beer and looks like he's on the third day of a four day bender.
Brad: Don't worry, I've got pizza money some wh-
Adam: I'm Adam, your tutor, remember?
Brad: Oh yeah. I remember you now. Yo got me in a bunch of trouble with my brother. (He sighs.) Come on, let's go upstairs. (Now in his room.) Why did you rat me out, you weasel?
Adam: Hey, I left ten minutes after the session started! Don't you think that's a little suspicious.
Brad: Ok, you have a point. This time we'll have to be more careful.
Adam: This time?
Brad: Yeah, we're in luck. Beau's at a captain's meeting. Grab my assignment off my desk, run on out here and get started.
Narrator: You can almost hear your mom scolding you, "Adam Sandler, is this truly the young man we've raised you to become? Did you hear what that boy is saying? He's just as lost as you are."
Adam: Get out of my head, mom!
Brad: Wha?
Adam: Oh, uh, nothing. Anyway...
Dirk: (thought) Shit, what's wrong with me? Snap out of it, Sandler. This English comp class is a fundamental building block of education. I, Adam Sandler, am going to make Brad see that academics aren't a waste of time.
Narrator: You imagine Brad taking a mic at a post-game conference.
Imaginary Brad: I'd like to thank my couch, my team and the man upstairs. But I especially want to thank my main man, best friend and tutor, Adam Sandler. Adam showed me how to communicate as beautifully on a page as I do in the field.
Narrator: The room erupts in thunderous applause. Whistles and howls of approval fill the room. You sigh, imagining. You're catapulted back into reality as you stand face-to-face with Brad who reeks of beer and looks like he's on the third day of a four day bender.
Brad: Don't worry, I've got pizza money some wh-
Adam: I'm Adam, your tutor, remember?
Brad: Oh yeah. I remember you now. Yo got me in a bunch of trouble with my brother. (He sighs.) Come on, let's go upstairs. (Now in his room.) Why did you rat me out, you weasel?
Adam: Hey, I left ten minutes after the session started! Don't you think that's a little suspicious.
Brad: Ok, you have a point. This time we'll have to be more careful.
Adam: This time?
Brad: Yeah, we're in luck. Beau's at a captain's meeting. Grab my assignment off my desk, run on out here and get started.
Narrator: You can almost hear your mom scolding you, "Adam Sandler, is this truly the young man we've raised you to become? Did you hear what that boy is saying? He's just as lost as you are."
Adam: Get out of my head, mom!
Brad: Wha?
Adam: Oh, uh, nothing. Anyway...
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
Brad: No.
Adam: Why not? I don't get it.
Brad: I'm gonna have to read books and stuff.
Adam: How awful.
Brad: Then, like, write about them.
Adam: Can you believe this place?
Brad: Exactly. Who needs that hanging over their head? Seriously, I'd rather stand in for the D-line's tackling dummy.
Adam: Come on, it won't be that bad. What about the days when you were a good student?
Brad: Aw Hell, my brother must've told you that. Beau thinks he knows me, but he really doesn't. I can't write worth crap, man.
Adam: Ok, so its been a while, but most things aren't good on the first draft. We'll make it better on the revisions.
Narrator: Brad looks doubtful. A knock on the door interrupts your conversation.
Brad: It's open.
Narrator: A girl pokes her head in, completely oblivious to you. You're assaulted by the smell of cotton candy and bubblegum.
Girl: Brad, the rager is going to be at 10, ok? I'd be broken up if you missed it. Especially after what happened at your birthday bash.
Brad: Uh, you mean how I polished off an entire cake on my own, right? That was some damn good cake.
Girl: Oh Brad, did you forget that I could suck a hotdog through a straw? Or perhaps do you need a refresher?
Adam: New kicker?
Girl: Yeah, you know. After Roman put the last one in the hospital.
Brad: Three cracked ribs. Never play slaps with Roman.
Adam: How do you break someone's ribs playing slaps?
Brad: Roman's not exactly a gracious loser.
Adam: But no, I'm not the new kicker. I'm here to tutor Brad.
Girl: What? Really?
Narrator: Daisy shoots a look at Brad. He shrugs.
Brad: Don't look at me, Beau hired him.
Daisy: What the Hell? All tutoring assignments for the team go through me. See, I usually tutor the boys myself, or assign them to other girls if I'm booked.
Adam: I guess I slipped through the cracks then. (Makes a *wooosh* sound with a swipe of his hand.)
Daisy: I'll have a chat with Beau.
Adam: Well, you know, Brad is just fine with having me as his tutor.
Daisy: Oh really? I can write his papers AND provide him with some fun perks.
Narrator: She bats her eyes at Brad, running her tongue across the top of her lips.
Daisy: What do you have to offer?
Narrator: Brad looks interested in what you have to say.
Adam: Why not? I don't get it.
Brad: I'm gonna have to read books and stuff.
Adam: How awful.
Brad: Then, like, write about them.
Adam: Can you believe this place?
Brad: Exactly. Who needs that hanging over their head? Seriously, I'd rather stand in for the D-line's tackling dummy.
Adam: Come on, it won't be that bad. What about the days when you were a good student?
Brad: Aw Hell, my brother must've told you that. Beau thinks he knows me, but he really doesn't. I can't write worth crap, man.
Adam: Ok, so its been a while, but most things aren't good on the first draft. We'll make it better on the revisions.
Narrator: Brad looks doubtful. A knock on the door interrupts your conversation.
Brad: It's open.
Narrator: A girl pokes her head in, completely oblivious to you. You're assaulted by the smell of cotton candy and bubblegum.
Girl: Brad, the rager is going to be at 10, ok? I'd be broken up if you missed it. Especially after what happened at your birthday bash.
Brad: Uh, you mean how I polished off an entire cake on my own, right? That was some damn good cake.
Girl: Oh Brad, did you forget that I could suck a hotdog through a straw? Or perhaps do you need a refresher?
Adam: New kicker?
Girl: Yeah, you know. After Roman put the last one in the hospital.
Brad: Three cracked ribs. Never play slaps with Roman.
Adam: How do you break someone's ribs playing slaps?
Brad: Roman's not exactly a gracious loser.
Adam: But no, I'm not the new kicker. I'm here to tutor Brad.
Girl: What? Really?
Narrator: Daisy shoots a look at Brad. He shrugs.
Brad: Don't look at me, Beau hired him.
Daisy: What the Hell? All tutoring assignments for the team go through me. See, I usually tutor the boys myself, or assign them to other girls if I'm booked.
Adam: I guess I slipped through the cracks then. (Makes a *wooosh* sound with a swipe of his hand.)
Daisy: I'll have a chat with Beau.
Adam: Well, you know, Brad is just fine with having me as his tutor.
Daisy: Oh really? I can write his papers AND provide him with some fun perks.
Narrator: She bats her eyes at Brad, running her tongue across the top of her lips.
Daisy: What do you have to offer?
Narrator: Brad looks interested in what you have to say.
