Laughable wikiHow guides

[Charlie's Chaplin]

http://www.wikihow.com/Defecate

How to Defecate
Although many of us have been defecating for years, there are some measures that can be made to make the process more smooth.

 

[Ultimate Grisby]

Awhile back, I had a bad dream about going to jail and then wondered if there was a jail guide in wikiHow.

The prison one was already posted earlier but this one caught my eye.

http://www.wikihow.com/Prepare-for-Jail

Protect your food from Beagleface Man and his crew of homosexuals.

 

[AnOminous]

Protect your food from Beagleface Man and his crew of homosexuals.

But they're so kawaii!

 

[SU 390]

How to Be a Workaholic

The guy's eyes made me laugh so hard. "Yeah, yeah, uh huh, just give me death's sweet release."

How to Get Good Marks On Your Homework

This one is pretty good because the advice on getting good marks is basically an afterthought. "Draw pretty pictures and be neat and pretty—OH YEAH YOU SHOULD DO WELL ON YOUR HOMEWORK THAT'S IMPORTANT TOO."

How to Drink Urine (Urophagia)

View attachment 14073

I think I submitted this before, but it really deserves to be shown twice because holy shit they're telling you to drink pee and use it as mouthwash.

What a coincidence, I was going to post that Workaholic article.

So in an attempt to better my life I go on this site for informative information. I found several funny wikihows for all you kiwis because I'm starting to like you guys even more. So here you go.

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Workaholic (already posted)



"See the time? Hurry the fuck up and let me get back to my addiction."

"Yeah so I told the boss that Melvin is fucking his wife. I'm definitely getting the promotion now!"

"Why the fuck is the word 'challenge' blocking my view?"
http://www.wikihow.com/Give-a-Speech



"Court Jester? Nope, Court Jackass is what I am."

"I don't mean to be rude, but you all suck."

"Fuck. This is last time I'm ever writing my speeches high on airplane glue."

"Hey watch it! Neal Pert was the shit!"

http://www.wikihow.com/Handle-a-Difficult-Boss



"You mean to tell me that we spent a total of $2,500 on new printer/copying machines and everyone is using them to photocopy their butts?"

"I should've been a pornstar."

"Don't mind me. I'm just inspecting your nose hairs."

"Her breath smells like semen."

"If I catch you eating all the donuts again, you're fucking fired."
http://www.wikihow.com/Kiss-a-Girl-for-the-First-Time
http://www.wikihow.com/Kiss-a-Girl-for-the-First-Time



[exaggerated flirting intensifies]

Guy: "Do you want to have sex?"

Girl: "Yes. Do you have condoms?"

Guy: "No but, anal is the alternative."

Girl: "I'll get my strap on."

Guy: "Never mind."

 

[Silver]

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Glitter-Princess

http://www.wikihow.com/Act-As-an-Ancient-Egyptian-Princess

"There is a language called the ocean language that you could use. Don't worry, it's still English, but you speak differently. For example, instead of saying "awesome, nice, or cool" you say "Swishy" or "Fin-tastic". Instead of saying "What in Earth's name.." you say "What in shark's name..". Instead of saying "scaredy-cat" you say "jellyfish". There are many more phrases in "The Tale of Emily Windsnap" series by Liz Kessler."

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Water-Princess

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Christian-Princess

 

[CatParty]

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Mellow

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Talented

http://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-a-Person-Truly-Loves-You

http://www.wikihow.com/Meet-Girls-Who-Like-Star-Trek

http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Being-a-Loser

 

[morganna]

How to act like a rich daddy's girl

I can't tell what's worse:

1.) The author who tries to pass Juicy Couture and Steve Madden off as relevant brands.

or

2.) The artist who tries to pass a mogwai off for a Shih Tzu?

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

Guys, I found the "Autistic-Girl-Flaps-And-Nothing-Bad-Happens.png" girl on Deviantart. I guess I'm just flabbergasted that the Wikihow artists are actual people instead of a collective consciousness that spontaneously creates pictures of people spanking teenagers and condoms hidden in fedoras from the ether.

Here are some things from her profile that I will give with no context whatsoever.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

from http://m.wikihow.com/Stim-Discreetly:

At a family gathering, your crotchety old grandpa could scowl disapprovingly and imply that your father failed to parent you correctly.

Spend most of your family reunion time entertaining the children, far away from your grumpy grandpa

Decide not to attend the family reunion. (You can develop a "fever" for this purpose.) This will allow you to be yourself without giving fuel to your grandpa's rants or experiencing the stress of wondering when he'll complain. If you are under 18, ask your parents' permission first.

The author's really got some grandpa issues to work out.

 

[SU 390]

Guys, I found the "Autistic-Girl-Flaps-And-Nothing-Bad-Happens.jpg" girl on Deviantart. I guess I'm just flabbergasted that the Wikihow artists are actual people instead of a collective consciousness that spontaneously creates pictures of people spanking teenagers and condoms hidden in fedoras from the ether.

Here are some things from her profile that I will give with no context whatsoever.

That guy is like, "Get me the fuck out of here."

 

[Heretics on Holiday]

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Glitter-Princess

Glitter princesses must dislocate their arms!

 

[Hat]

Guys, I found the "Autistic-Girl-Flaps-And-Nothing-Bad-Happens.png" girl on Deviantart. I guess I'm just flabbergasted that the Wikihow artists are actual people instead of a collective consciousness that spontaneously creates pictures of people spanking teenagers and condoms hidden in fedoras from the ether.

Here are some things from her profile that I will give with no context whatsoever.

I looked on her account, particularly at this drawing that was included in the guide. The picture itself was uploaded in late November of 2014; the article was featured on the sixteenth of January of this year, indicating that it was made recently. Nowhere in the description of the drawing does the artist mention the article, and neither do the comments. Also, the character appears in a lot of her other works that do not appear in the article, as does what appears to be an updated version of the flapping girl.

My diagnosis: the weirdos on wikiHow stole this lady's art.

EDIT: Well, I was wrong in my diagnosis. You can all sue me for malpractice.

Spoiler: I Actually Made an Account Just to Ask

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

I looked on her account, particularly at this drawing that was included in the guide. The picture itself was uploaded in late November of 2014; the article was featured on the sixteenth of January of this year, indicating that it was made recently. Nowhere in the description of the drawing does the artist mention the article, and neither do the comments. Also, the character appears in a lot of her other works that do not appear in the article, as does what appears to be an updated version of the flapping girl.

My diagnosis: the weirdos on wikiHow stole this lady's art.

Where is the updated version of the picture? I can't find it.

 

[Hat]

Where is the updated version of the picture? I can't find it.

Not the picture itself, but the character, though this is purely speculation on my part. The artist has a character that looks kind of like the flapping girl, and I can see how it might be a newer design. That said, I might just be seeing things that aren't there.

 

[AnOminous]

from http://m.wikihow.com/Stim-Discreetly:

[quoting laughable Wikihow]

Spend most of your family reunion time entertaining the children, far away from your grumpy grandpa

That reads like

"Drag the children off out of the sight of the adults, because nobody could possibly read this the wrong way."

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

Not the picture itself, but the character, though this is purely speculation on my part. The artist has a character that looks kind of like the flapping girl, and I can see how it might be a newer design. That said, I might just be seeing things that aren't there.

I looked into the discussion page for the Wikihow article and it looks like she started it, so no foul I suppose. Even with that said, you would have thought she would mention Wikihow somewhere.

 

[Hat]

I looked into the discussion page for the Wikihow article and it looks like she started it, so no foul I suppose. Even with that said, you would have thought she would mention Wikihow somewhere.

Good to hear. The artwork may be silly, but that doesn't mean it deserves to get stolen.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

That reads like

"Drag the children off out of the sight of the adults, because nobody could possibly read this the wrong way."

Looks like this is where TGK learned how to get his stim fix

 

[Heretics on Holiday]

http://www.wikihow.com/Know-the-Difference-Between-a-Princess-and-a-Fairy-Princess

Every parent of a little girl who is obsessed with princesses needs to know this one vital difference - which princess type is it that she cares about? A princess and a fairy princess are quite different creatures and when selecting gifts, costumes and party set-ups, you do not want to be mixing them up! As a parent, it is very important to know the difference between these two types , otherwise you will be disappointed and disappoint your daughter at every turn, every gift, every suggestion.

Someone didn't have a happy birthday.

 

[Positron]

...thereafter the poor girl will be drawn to the downward spiral of alcoholism, drug abuse, larceny, and denial of Santa Claus. All because of her thoughtless parents' failure to distinguish different types of princesses.