"Fear not fellow Kiwi's. I, P. Pufferton, was there for the hearing and wow... just wow. A hearing normally takes about 20 to 30 minutes max so I stupidly didn't bring any paper to take notes figuring it was going to be short and sweet. This wasn't the case at all. This hearing took a little over 2 hours and was worth the price of admission. Let's begin.
I arrived at the court house in Pottstown, PA around 8, and walked in. It's a very nice old train station that's been re-purposed as a legal building. The inside was pretty spartan and was a light color blue. I found the 3 witnesses and Curt already there and introduced myself. Shaner was also there sitting away from everyone with his elderly mother. The witnesses were led into a conference room and we had some general small talk and how it looked like Shaner was representing himself. A few minutes later the witnesses came back out and Len was overheard talking to an official how he had Hy as his legal counsel and that he was doing the case for free. The official said something to the effect of "I'm not sure this is going to work." and we gave each other a bunch of confused looks and speculated how maybe he was just saying this and might still be defending himself. This was about 8:10.
Then, as you all know by now, Mayerson shows up and we are all collectively blown away. Hy is a shorter gentleman with grey hair and very old. You guys have seen the photos so I'll spare the details. Anyway, him and Shaner went into the conference room and the train guys and myself gossiped about how crazy this might get. Curt started getting calls from people and had to leave to move freight cars at the rail yard (This is important later). A few minutes later they came out and it was announced that the hearing was about to begin and anyone who wanted to observe should enter the courtroom. I got up and went into the court room all by myself.... guys.....
The courtroom also blue and was very typical a seat for a judge, witness, defendant, and prosecutor along with two rows of seats for interested parties which in this case was myself and Shaners mom. We sat in the first row with her at one end and myself at the other. Shaner and Hy entered as did the judge, the prosecuting officer, and stenographer. Proceedings then began.
BTW SenHy noticed me sitting in the court room by myself and came up to see why I was there. I told him I was a reporter. He asked with who and I said "The Onion" and that I was a friend of Curt since he had already seen me sitting and talking with him.
Preston was the first witness and he easily got the worst of it. For the first 15 minutes or so it was a very normal proceeding with Hy asking questions about property lines, right of way, and where Preston was when he was allegedly filming Shaner trespassing. At this point I thought Hy was not crazy and might be a legit good lawyer. This was about to change dramatically! After it was proven that Len was in fact on rail road property Hy changed his tune... a lot. He pulled out a stack of screen caps from the Kiwi Farms, walked up to Preston, and asked if he knew about the this forum. Preston said he didn't and Hy then asked if he posted as Cumrobbery. Yes. He said "cum robbery" in a court room. I'll be honest, I had a hard time containing my laughter at this point. However I managed to not bust up laughing so it was all good. Preston said he was aware of the Kiwi Farms but had only gone to read when he discovered Len had posted his dox here. At this point Hy then went back and questioned about the video Preston made of Shaner trespassing. However, this was limited to asking stupid stuff such as what kind of phone he owned, who his provider was, and when the FBI got involved would he be comfortable turning all his devices over to them to prove he wasn't on the Farms. At this point the Judge got involved and said how this had nothing to do with the case where as Hy began quoting legal stuff about how Preston could be charged as a domestic terrorist. Again, nearly started laughing my ass off. The judge, who by the way is pretty bad ass looking, starts yelling at Hy a little bit because Hy's being really dumb and submitting evidence that has no bearing on the case. At this point Hy pointed right at me and said "Mr. McEvoy, do you know this man? He said he's a reporter for The Onion and is a friend of Curt's". The judge looked over at me and I sort of did a half ass wave. Preston confirmed he didn't know me. After that Hy presented a few more screen shots of this thread and the judge started getting mad to the point where I thought Hy might get ejected from the room. But he didn't and after 3 standard questions from the prosecutor Preston left the stand and took a seat 5 or 6 over from me. Preston took over an hour. I was scared at this point with 2 more witnesses to go that I was going to be there for 3 hours or more. I got other shit I had to do today.
George (the one who smashed Shaner in the face with the lantern) was up next and Hy switched tactics. For about 20 minutes Hy exclusively tried to get George mad by saying how there was no way he could have seen Shaner from where he was located on the train by using Shaner's own photos that were clearly taken within 10 feet of the track. George got a little ruffled and when he did Hy said "Oh, it looks like you might have something to hide with you huffing and puffing up there." I'm not kidding that's very close to what he said to George. The judge heard this and stopped that shit pretty fast. Hy then insinuated that the Palladino (the judge) didn't know how to do his job. This didn't sit well with the judge and again Hy almost got ejected. After that the prosecution asked about 3 question that actually had something to do with Shaner's trespassing and endangerment charges. Then George stepped down and took a seat next to Preston.
Finally, the dashing rogue, Bob, commander of the tracks took the stand. Hy switched gears yet again, this time focusing on Bob's credibility as an engineer. However, he first started off by accusing Bob of being Anominous on the Kiwi Farms. Bob said he reads the farms regularly but never posts (Hi Bob!) and found it when Shaner posted his dox here. Hy then started asking about Bob's training and if he was actually qualified as an engineer which has no bearing on this case BTW. Then Hy got even stranger and asked where his training was, if he had certified himself because his license was based out of a rail road he owns (Bob got certified at another line he didn't own), to prove he was an engineer. Hy didn't prepare at all because he didn't know anything about railroading when he came into this. He didn't know what the FRA was, what the CFR was, or how engineers and conductors are certified. As a side note Bob was staring directly into Hy's eyes this entire time and Hy was kinda backing down from it.
The judge had been interrupting Hy on a regular basis in this hearing and by this point was quite sick of all of this. So Hy finished his line of weird questioning and the prosecution told how they had proven that there was enough evidence to take this to trial.
The prosecution got about half way through this final argument when Hy suddenly jumped up and said "There's one more person I'd like to question today!". I was a bit nervous since I was the only person in this room besides Shaner's mom but it wasn't me! He turned around and walked toward the door and said "I'd like to call Curt to the stand!" He then went out into the waiting room and called out Curt's name repeatedly. Of course, Curt had been gone for an hour at least because he had work. I turned to SenHy and said "I don't think he's here anymore. I think he went to work." Hy then looked at me, smiled, and winked and went back to Shaner's table. (As far as I know you can't pull a Perry Mason and call surprise witnesses like that. Not being a lawyer I'd need confirmation though.) Everyone could tell that Hy and Shaner were fuming over this. Shaner had actually brought 2 entire envelopes of screen shots from the Kiwi Farms into court. I think they expected to use Curt as their ace in the hole to prove the Lenspiracy. It was pretty funny.
So finally the final arguments were concluded with all charges proven as valid and going to PA common pleas as you all know by now. As we were leaving the court room Hy got in an argument with the judge about Shaner not having to fill out bail forms. The judge got mad and told him either Shaner can fill it out himself or he would just ask Shaner the info. After that we all left.
It was a huge circus or as they call it in the legal community, a cluster fuck. I'm not even a lawyer and I know that 90% of what Hy was presenting was batshit insane. This brings me to 2 possible conclusions about Hy Mayerson.
A) Hy has bought into the Lenspiracy hook line and sinker.
B) Hy hates Leonard Shaner and is doing this pro bono so that he can get Shaner the maximum sentence possible by purposely being a fucking nut job. He didn't help Shaner's case at all. In fact I think he actually made it worse by pissing off the judge.
So there you have it. That's what I remember about this morning. I'd like to add that because of the length of the hearing that Shaner missed at least 4 fudges."
-Secret Pinkington Pufferton II
