Lets make a story!!!

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But they didn't, and the world imploded from ennui as a result. And then the Universe had to push the restart button several times before it would get back to normal.
 
Repeatedly hitting it like a sped to accelerate the process, the Universe's finger accidentally slipped off from the restart button right onto the "fill anal cavity with gingers dipped in wasabi to the brim" button.
 
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After several days of violent masturbation and fisting its ass full of ginger, the Universe came in an explosion of glory and got jizz all over the goddamn place. "Fuck this, I'm not cleaning that up today," It said before going back to bed.
 
The universe continued to jack itself off, busting planet sized nuts off in all directions. Its spooge scattering to the far reaches of space.
 
And to celebrate, I bought a fifth of Jameson and got drunk
 
And every in attendance laughed, danced, drank, and dropped their drawers and starting jacking off.
 
Only Jack didn't jack off, which was pretty ironic considering his name. No siree, he had plans, greater plans...
 
Fortunately, a kind woman named Jill offered some to him.
 
To Jill's misfortune, a millisecond before her offering him the delicious condiment Jack had decided he identifies as a BLM activist now, resulting in the sight of the whitish goo sending him into a murderous fit of tard rage.
 
It was at that moment Jill whipped out her tranny cock and knocked some sense into Jack. Sending him tumbling down the hill with his bucket of spooge
 
Thanks to the crackerish condiment, Jack was speeding down the hillside with absolutely no friction to break his ever rising acceleration, enabling him to reach espace velocity by the time he rolled on a conveniently placed ramp.
 
As someone who identifies as a BLM activist, the mere thought of doing something productive and contributing to society in a positive way has made Jack experience nausea like never before, causing him to projectile vomit like he's some scientifically inaccurate jet fighter from a '90s shmup.
 
This vomit decelerated him slightly, but not enough to prevent him from slamming into a black construction worker, causing said worker to fall off of a precarious structure and die. Because Jack lived and sustained trauma to the head, he declared himself superior to all black people.
 
To Jack's biggest surprise, he was flung back through the time stream to the exact moment the first white man was born.
 
Knowing what must be done, pulled down his trousers and began to jack off.
 
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