Let's Sperg Let's Sperg: Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition - The Adventures of Alabamy Tranny
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caffeinated_wench
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He's pretty close, so you tell him to do a backflip when he jumps. How dare he be more privileged than you!
Well. That didn't work out like you hoped. Imoen scolds you for not even attempting to talk him out of it, but you just tune her out. What's done is done. It doesn't look like there's anything else over here, so it might be time to move on, yes?
Nevermind. Imoen's in the mood to chat.
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- Feb 3, 2013
Pick option 3. The world is out there for you and you must turn it into a world that only you can love.
He's pretty close, so you tell him to do a backflip when he jumps. How dare he be more privileged than you!
Well. That didn't work out like you hoped. Imoen scolds you for not even attempting to talk him out of it, but you just tune her out. What's done is done. It doesn't look like there's anything else over here, so it might be time to move on, yes?
Nevermind. Imoen's in the mood to chat.
caffeinated_wench
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Imoen has always been rather accepting of you and your enlightening world view. It should come to no surprise that you share this dream of yours, too. When you tell her of your goal, Imoen is dismissive and tells you of her own idea of adventuring - to have fun. Yawn. She muses that one day someone will tell stories about the adventures of Imoen the Quick and her trusty sidekick.
Wait what.
Sidekick?!
caffeinated_wench
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You're feeling very offended right now. How dare she mock your t r a n sblackness by insinuating you're her sidekick! That's like slavery!
You tell her your suggestions.
Imoen is less than pleased, and in a huff she tells you she's going to keep quiet. That'll learn you!
It's time to continue on your journey, and with only two potions left you guess you'll need to buy more once you reach the Friendly Arm. Imoen thankfully doesn't bring up any more of her triggering sidekick suggestions, but you crywrite about the event into your journal anyway.
You decide to head back to the road and follow the path to the inn. It is here that you meet a portly, bald-headed man by the name of Kolssed. He greets you politely, noting that the two of you appear far more hospitable than the other travelers he had met despite the forests being as dangerous as they are. It's a fine day, isn't it? he says to you, trying to make conversation.
Imoen takes the initiative and introduces the two of you, telling him your names and that you're both adventurers just starting out. You're pretty sure you were supposed to be keeping a low profile, but Imoen is a simple girl.
caffeinated_wench
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Fuck off! you tell the man. Tumblr warned me about you!
What are you even talking about, he asks you, confused as all hell by your reaction.
Hissssssssss. You're not really sure why you hissed, but it makes him back up nonetheless. It might be your catkin instincts kicking in.
Easy there, he tells you. You're all friends here.
What's this? An accusation? I mean, sure your dad was a white cis male, but you wouldn't kill him. Who would pay for your internet and food? Who's he to tell you that you won't make friends, anyway? You'll have him know you have a thousand followers on your blog! He shrugs and tells you he doesn't know what a blog is but your attitude is still shit.
You could apologize for your outburst and possibly try this again, or assert that you don't need his help, whatever kind that is.
caffeinated_wench
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You insist that you're a strong, independent black transwomyn who don't need no help from a white cis male, to which Kolssed only shrugs and allows you to carry on your way. He does leave you a warning about your attitude and something about it not getting you far. Which you immediately pay no heed to, since you've made it just fine so far.
Sure, your dad's dead and you're out in the middle of nowhere, but you've made it!
You continue to walk and notice further along the path there are two gentlemen standing there twiddling their thumbs. Your knowledge of the Internet tome told you that this means they must be a gay couple and thus they're oppressed as fuck. You should say hi!
You approach the mage first.
We're off to a fabulous start.
His partner, Montaron, notes that you're looking mighty roughed up too. Probably because you fought a wolf on the way here. Xzar offers to give you some healing potions, a token of goodwill he says. Imoen is uncertain of the gesture, of course.
You don't know what Imoen's talking about. He looks entirely trustworthy and sane. Still, do you need his help?
caffeinated_wench
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You tell the mage that you can manage well enough, thanks. With his wild eyes, he questions your lack of trust in them - two humble travelers waiting suspiciously on the road. His partner takes great offense to this; if you knew better, you'd say he was just itching for a fight.
Xzar quickly calms him, noting that you had just been attacked and thus you're probably in no mood to be trusting. At the same time, he sounds very passive-aggressive about you refusing his help. He suggests that as payment - for what, you're not sure - you should go with him and the halfling to Nashkel. Something about shit going down at the mines there. You couldn't be bothered to pay much attention.
Looking at your options, you realize... Oh, right, Gorion told you to find someone at the Friendly Arm Inn. What were their names again? Oh well, you'll probably know them when you see them.
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Kill them both and take their stuff. As a black transwomyn you have the right to take whatever you want from white people until they return your land.
caffeinated_wench
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You graciously invite them into your group--
--and promptly kill their asses dead, for great social justice.
You managed to get a few potions off of their corpses and some scrolls, and new weapons for yourself.
It's time to move on and move on you do - until you meet an old man who is totally not Elminster. Why are there so many people on the road? Is this a very interesting road or something?
Not Elminster greets you.
You can't understand a single fucking thing he's saying.
Imoen proceeds to act like a spastic in front of Not Elminster.
Not Elminster smiles at her and calls her a spirited girl before asking about you. Why didn't he do that in the first place? You're clearly more important to this story than Imoen, little sister or not.
Imoen questions how he knew her name, but he gives no answer. Instead he tells her to shut up and let you speak.
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caffeinated_wench
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You turn the question around on him, which is enough for him to determine what you've known all along: that you're a strong independent transwomyn who can handle herself. Those weren't his exact words, but you know that's what he meant. He leaves you with words of encouragement and your eyes return to the road.
It's fairly peaceful out there, aside from a random gibberling attack and combat music. Birds chirp merrily as you walk along the path, kicking a single pebble with every step. A sign ahead designates a crossroad. To the north is the Friendly Arm Inn, where your foster father suggested you go.
To the south, Beregost, a thriving town just north of Nashkel - that place the mage guy mentioned before you gutted him like a fish.
Which way do you go?
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caffeinated_wench
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East it is. As you depart for roads untraveled, you respectfully bury Xzar and Montaron's bodies. You can't exactly carry them around with you the entire journey.
Close enough. Burying people is too much work. RIP.
Going this way soon turns out to be a terrible, terrible idea. It doesn't take long for trouble to find you, and said trouble is a group of well-armed bandits. Imoen is low on arrows and after a single shot you're in no shape to take them on. The two of you flee to safety, further north into the woods.
With a moment to catch your breath, you check your inventory and guzzle down a potion. Two left. This is troubling. Even more troubling is the stomping of rather large feet growing louder and louder from behind you. When you turn around, you are met by the sight of a charging ogre wearing girdles far too small to have been tailored for it as bracelets. Desperate to not let Imoen notice that you pissed your pants just now, you prepare for a fight - even if your undies are uncomfortably soggy.
The fight is long and brutal, but you emerge victorious. You take the girdles as your prize; they must be worth something, shouldn't they? Unfortunately, you have no idea what either does so you'll need to find some means to identify them. Almost immediately after you start to turn towards the inn - as it's the closest place that has potions - you're accosted by a xvart. It probably smelled the piss.
Naturally, it too is killed and for whatever reason it had a gold coin shoved up its ass. You assume it must be lucky regardless and pocket it.
At last the coast is clear and you head north. You pass a hunter, who warns you not to make too much noise. Imoen protests, saying neither of you were yelling. Yeah, you agree. Neither of you were. (Thankfully she had forgotten your high-pitched shrieking from the ogre fight.)
caffeinated_wench
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You ask him what could possibly be more dangerous than what you've already faced. His answer? Wolves. Something about the iron crisis messing up their usual hunting grounds because people. Looks like all those likes and shares did nothing after all. Who would've thought?
Yeah, well, I really need to get going, you tell him.
I'm serious, he tells you. Wolves is trouble.
I believe you, you tell him. He follows you to the edge of this area's map, making you uncomfortable the entire time. It's quite triggering. Never fear, however, for the gate of the Friendly Arm bids you welcome into its safe walls.
It's night when you arrive, and your feet are weary. Thankfully, you have your infravision to light your way. Sort of. Everyone's red either way. The drawbridge is all that stands between you and a soft bed.
One of the guards at the gate welcomes you. He assumes you know what the rules are.
