Lolcow-themed drinks

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I just invented one.
THE TRUMP:
1 Part Lime Rum Cream
1 Part Amaretto.
1 Part Tequila.
Layer it in a shotglass so that the white rum cream is guarded by the orange amaretto from the filthy Mexican tequila.
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Take the shot and then shitpost on A&H or /pol/.
 
The Bryan D:

1 part Dry Gin
1 part Sprite
2 parts Moscato cherry wine (for flavoring)

Then proceed to scream into the cup, "FUCK YOU BSV! DSP!"

Add lime to the rim.

(I tried this tonight, my mom was more surprised about the screaming than whatever the fuck I was drinking. Actually pretty good.)
 
Dorky idea I had for a mocktail, if they're allowed here:

Greer-mosa
Pour chilled Martinelli's sparkling juice into a champagne flute most of the way to the top. Add in two barspoons of saliva and a couple drops of Angostura bitters. Prepare while litening to Taylor Swift, and serve with a court summons.
 
The Boogie1488: Jagermeister+Remnants of a can of mountain dew your friend half drank+dissolved pain pill
The Terry A. Davis: Shasta+anything really.
 
The Jerry Peet: make an Old Fashioned and mix it with a glass of wine of your choice.
 
Narcissa
180ml Soylent, Original
30ml dark rum (or spiced rum)
Ambien, 2 tablets

Crush the tablets with a bar spoon. Pour all ingredients into a highball glass and stir.

A taste familiar to the eccentric, the Narcissa is a flavourless, malty drink that will ensure you get a good night's sleep. Don't forget to turn off the camera.
 
Chris-Chan's Long Island-
Same as a regular Long Island Iced Tea, but mix in one or more of the following before adding the soda:
  1. A few sprinkles of salt.
  2. Several drops of homemade saline mixture.
  3. One jerk session's worth of semen.
You did it right if it goes down salty.

Sapphire Crimsons-
Pour grenadine into the bottom third of a shot glass. Float blue curacao on top. Drink alone while taking to your demon and ghost BFFs.

El LaBelle-
Prepare a packet of instant gravy mix. Pour into an Old Fashioned glass, and serve with a bowl of French fries and cheese curds. Dump the glass of gravy into the fry and cheese bowl and consume immediately, messily if possible. Buy your Finnish boyfriend a stiff drink for the sight.

All The Fallen-
Everclear in a shot glass. That's it.
Hope it wipes out the memory of last night, you sick fucks.
 
The Jack Scalfani:
Throw cheese, a stick of butter, lard, mayo, undercooked pork and undercooked chicken into an overpriced blender. Blend until it's a paste with the consistency and colour of infected phlegm. Add enough of whatever clear liquor you have on hand to make you forget how you pull 3,000 views per video on a channel with 375,000 subscribers. Consume with only the right half of your face.
 
Dirty Martini, using less vermouth, with cannonball olives and regular olive in the middle of the two= A Jay

Its pretty good and a Bepishouse fave, but I have to use olive brine (from the jar of olives) as cocktail brine isn't tasty enough for me anymore.

Edit: Greek olives also work too, but your garnish needs big tiddays.

Pot of coffee(the bigger the better) three shots Kraken, one shot Bourbon, mix while bitching about women not riding your dick, add a splash of vanilla extract and you've got yourself a delicious Kent Brown you can drink on all day...
Because women hate you and you have no life.
 
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