Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

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Guys, I know it is very hard, but if you think someone is worth saving, for example your sister or best friend for 10 years, please try to educate them about the harm of hormones.
It’s certainly worth an effort.

Ultimately though, it’s one of the things people need to realize for themselves.

It’s like with drugs. You can tell your friend that “Bob, you really need to get off that fentanyl dude!” And they may even agree with you that they’re not making good choices.

But until they’re ready to make a change, you can’t make that step for them.
 
Guys, I know it is very hard, but if you think someone is worth saving, for example your sister or best friend for 10 years, please try to educate them about the harm of hormones.
The thing is, how would you do this? They'll just accuse 'your' science of being bad data or cherrypicked, or even debunked by correct tranny scientists, and good luck forcefully redpilling them with a tab on the kiwi SRS thread. People HATE unwarranted advice too. They'll convince themselves that your attempt to save them is in itself a form of anti-trans harm.

If anything, the only thing I see working is physically getting down on the floor to your troon-immediate family member and begging them to stop and that's only if they were a weak minded normie capable of empathy beforehand.
 
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The only person i lost was my true self. Still hate myself over it
I tried it. To be honest, it's absolutely correct except, I am perfectly comfortable being an androgynous, straight female with no interest in transitioning.

Jeez if kids use this shit.... wtf?
 

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Wasn't a super close friend, but this guy I used to simrace with went from quiet gay guy to full blow V Tuber troon/femboy.

It's worth noting that the Gran Turismo Esports community has a ton of people like this, including groomers, some of which have been outed for their behavior. We pretty much watched this guy get groomed in real time, which ended up in these results.

I did have a heart to heart with this guy at one point, told him to follow what he believed in, and to treat himself right. Sadly he seems to have simply fallen in with the trans ideology. He started distancing himself from us, then started basically shitting on us for no apparent reason. Eventually just vanished altogether.

His Twitter is basically a timeline of this. Its a shame because he was a good guy, now he seems like a shell of his former self. Just another Twitter troon
 
I did have a heart to heart with this guy at one point, told him to follow what he believed in, and to treat himself right. Sadly he seems to have simply fallen in with the trans ideology. He started distancing himself from us, then started basically shitting on us for no apparent reason. Eventually just vanished altogether.
Your heart really was in the right place but I'm sorry, "follow what you believe in and take care of yourself" to an egg's ears is only "trooning is the right path, I feel I really really want this right now so it must be the correct thing to do, I have problems and transitioning is the right choice".

I don't think it's good advice for those who are very uncertain and crave an outside answer to bring them stability. How many times has anyone seen a strong-willed person doing their own thing get sucked into a cult who wasn't A) bending for a loved one, B) strong willed as in stubbornly self destructive or C) climbing to run the cult themselves through the power of their god complex? Or D) getting MKUltra'd by glowies
 
Your heart really was in the right place but I'm sorry, "follow what you believe in and take care of yourself" to an egg's ears is only "trooning is the right path, I feel I really really want this right now so it must be the correct thing to do, I have problems and transitioning is the right choice".

I don't think it's good advice for those who are very uncertain and crave an outside answer to bring them stability. How many times has anyone seen a strong-willed person doing their own thing get sucked into a cult who wasn't A) bending for a loved one, B) strong willed as in stubbornly self destructive or C) climbing to run the cult themselves through the power of their god complex? Or D) getting MKUltra'd by glowies
I totally agree with you. At that point he wasn't fully into the troon shit, but was questioning.

I did also tell him to not be influenced by the views of others, but good luck with telling the terminally online that
 
This is paining me inside bros. A childhood friend of mine who I've reconnected with appears to be on the cusp of trooning out. I knew from the get-go she was lesbian, and quite frankly I didn't give a shit since I still cared about her as a friend. When I started seeing her use "They/them" pronouns and describing gender in a strange way, it started to set off alarms in my head and fill me with dread. This is getting progressively more and more painful for me to see as I see her start talking like a stereotypical troon, and even using that same teeth-gratingly irritating language like "TRANSPHOBIC, MUH HOMOPHOBIA, MUH SEXISM, MUH RACISM".
I think I'm about to lose my friend to the trans menace. I was so happy to reach back out to her and get something going, but looks like I'm too late and she has consumed the kool-aid. Even if it just ends up being her becoming an enby, It still hurts me inside and feels like a punch in the gut.

Bonus note and personal observation: I've noticed that a lot of abusers who just so happen to be troons still have some semblance of power over their victim's minds because their victim feels a weird moral obligation to use the "correct pronouns" and even attack anyone who misgenders their abuser. Bro, they are your fucking abuser and a piece of shit, they don't deserve any respect.
 
This is paining me inside bros. A childhood friend of mine who I've reconnected with appears to be on the cusp of trooning out. I knew from the get-go she was lesbian, and quite frankly I didn't give a shit since I still cared about her as a friend. When I started seeing her use "They/them" pronouns and describing gender in a strange way, it started to set off alarms in my head and fill me with dread. This is getting progressively more and more painful for me to see as I see her start talking like a stereotypical troon, and even using that same teeth-gratingly irritating language like "TRANSPHOBIC, MUH HOMOPHOBIA, MUH SEXISM, MUH RACISM".
I think I'm about to lose my friend to the trans menace. I was so happy to reach back out to her and get something going, but looks like I'm too late and she has consumed the kool-aid. Even if it just ends up being her becoming an enby, It still hurts me inside and feels like a punch in the gut.
Ooff… I’m sorry Kiwi bro.

Don’t indulge that nonsense, and don’t humor them. If she cuts ties, that’s on her but everyone deserves someone in their life who isn’t lying to them. Maybe you can plant some seeds that’ll eventually sprout. I’m sorry.
Bonus note and personal observation: I've noticed that a lot of abusers who just so happen to be troons still have some semblance of power over their victim's minds because their victim feels a weird moral obligation to use the "correct pronouns" and even attack anyone who misgenders their abuser. Bro, they are your fucking abuser and a piece of shit, they don't deserve any respect.
It’s such sort of an insurance policy against performative SJW nonsense.

Misgendering them is basically giving them a free punch. It’s gay and dumb but I understand the reasoning.
 
I was thinking of an old friend from middle and high school. She was nice, we got along well, had sleepovers, went to eachother's birthday parties, etc for years. Junior year she started acting rebellious and having issues with her parents. They were nice enough people, but very religious and involved in their church, and it all made sense when she finally came out as a lesbian. She had full support from both her male and female friends, but after coming out, she just became a completely different person. Not only did being a hyper-sexual lesbian (that never got laid) become her entire personality, but she started violating every boundary possible. With the girls, a friendly hug would quickly become a creepy back rub embrace, an offer to fix a piece of hair would conclude with a flirty compliment whispered in your ear, and she offered herself up for lesbian experimentation unprompted. With the guys, she'd try to connect with them by talking about her favorite topping positions and her thoughts on strap-ons. Needless to say, her original friend group politely started excluding her until all she was left with was the pride club and theater kids.

Shortly after high school, I decided to snoop her instagram. Well, she became a he. I'm telling you guys, she was a true pooner of her time. Gauges, terrible haircut, dudekingbroman language, with zits and double D's! She's taking pics of her pube beard, she taking pics of her armpit hair, she's taking pics of her leg hair in her manly cargo shorts. Just really proud of all that hair.

But then, Kiwis, it got dark. She posts a photo with a caption along the lines of "Finally, I can be myself and post a photo without my shirt on." And there she is in the bathroom, a giant red Gallagher-style scar across her chest. The nipples were looking rough and she was a little heavy so there were some dog ears on the sides. And her smile just didn't reach her eyes like they did in her older photos. I was shocked, confused, and repulsed. At the time I had only heard of people getting these surgeries for cosmetic reasons, but I had never seen it. It was so surreal to me, and I never went back to her page. I just wanted to unsee that post completely.

It's been about a decade since I saw the teet yeet post and curiosity got the better of me. (I wanted to see if she got a rotdog.) What I saw was a slightly neglected instagram account with a new post being made once a month or so. She has a pretty girlfriend and they have a cute dog together. I'd say they're a cute lesbian couple, but ole gal is still larping as a man. That smile still doesn't reach the eyes, though. (No evidence of that rotdog.)

And then I saw a picture she took with an old mutual friend of ours, and my little shriveled kiwiheart started beating again. The good memories came rushing in, and I just wanted to put any ancient drama behind us and catch up. I opened up her DM's all excited to say hello to my old friend. But I just sat there with some combination of surprised pikachu and the math lady meme on my face trying to figure out what to say for 3 minutes. This chick transitioned after we last spoke. What the fuck do I say? ("dood!") Does she even want to be reminded of that part of her past? Will it upset her? Is this even worth the effort? As I struggle with the message, I realize that the precedent is already set, and I'll always be walking on eggshells around her, even after the elephant in the room gets addressed. I'll either have to play pretend, or hurt her feelings and deal with whatever consequences that brings. Not worth it.

Her being a tranny is the only thing that kept me from inviting her out for a platonic cup of coffee. A big part of me realizes that a bullet was dodged, but it gets me down a bit once in a while.
 
I have two friends who trooned out, they're both people who I've met on the internet but that always seemed like there was something going on with them.

The first guy was an artist friend I've met, I remember him very anti-SJW and cringing at any gender specials. He was a NEET who hated his dad as well as some other members of his family, they did shitty things and were very abusive, not giving him food for example and ruining every time he had time for himself, but this isolated him more from all people of his own blood and the outside world. I remember encouraging him to start drawing his own original ideas and comics, so he started getting to it some time later, and at first I was happy for him to get something nice to distract himself and be productive, but man it became an obsession to him. He truly believed any criticism to his art was a criticism to him, this honestly was an early warning that I missed that he had issues separating real life from fiction. At the end at one point, he decided to ditch me and a couple of other friends to surround himself instead by yes men. He saw clout as the ultimate thing and became buddy-buddy with people with large followings but scummy SJW-like behaviour. He then became a massive furfag, you've seen that one image of how furry porn turns you gay? That literally happened to him, he was bi for most of his life until dog penis became too appetizing. After that, he fell for the egg grooming shit and starting drawing his fursona as a thick ferret with big dong and started going by she/her and plastering the troon flag in every social media he had. The biggest fucking twist was him getting a "headmate", which is SJW speak for tulpa, he started believing he was two people and one was a femboy dog that was also his boyfriend. He never finished his comic because he got too deep into badly drawn furry porn, he keeps starting projects and dropping them. His art has gotten more sloppy and worse, he's addicted to weed and doesn't leave his apartment. I know friends who know him irl and they say he hasn't talked to them since he trooned out. He became just another terminally online furfag troon who is an unironic schizo.

The second guy was also an artist friend and I was closer to him, saw the whole transformation, he was always very awkward around women. He was sadly groomed and raped by a mentally ill woman when he was a minor so it probably had a play on that. However he never got proper therapy for it, I was the first person he told his trauma to without lying (he told his parents when they found out woman clothing in his room, but never said the age of his abuser or that it was rape). He only was able to talk to me because I was more masculine than most girls he knew, but he was never able to talk to women successfully when he started going to uni. He started saying he wished he was a woman for sexual reasons, he said also being a woman would make life be on easy mode. After graduating, he tried finding someone on dating apps but was always unsuccessful cuz he always saw too many red flags on every girl he dated. During lockdown, he started crossdressing, at first just small things like women pyjamas or shirts, but it escalated into needing more. He started getting cheap clothes on Etsy, started going in public getting excited whenever others thought he was a woman, taking advantage of the mask to hide his very obvious jawline. Crossdressing became a daily thing to him, his family invited him to NYC one time and all he did was buy women clothes in secret. His fashion sense was and is fucking awful, I told him one time to try maybe buying male clothes for once cuz his recent purchases have been not great, he got so mad at me. In the end we grew more and more distant but I always noticed how he changed his pronouns, from he/him to he/they to they/them until ultimately she/her. He announced he was trooning out, but something seemed fishy, so I found his Reddit account that he never shared with me or our group of friends. He was getting hormones through crypto as well as DIY hormones, and he insisted he knew what he was doing. He also was posting pics of him crossdressing for horny redditors on r/196 to say how much he passes (he was hiding his chin in most pics with his phone lol!) and how hot he is. I know he never got diagnosed with dysphoria because HRT is legal in his country iirc (TERF island tho), he never went to a therapist. He also mentioned how going on estrogen has made him less horny, he said he used to think about sex everyday, jerking off also at least once per day, and is worried this killed his sex drive so he's gonna force himself to get turned on because without horny he's bored. I still feel sorry to what happened to him as a kid, but I'm so glad I got distant to him, finding his Reddit has creeped me out and it shows the obvious AGP behaviour.

That last story was really what drove me to make a KF account, I can't take troon shit anymore. Even if these two fags are creepy nowadays, they were just victims at first of shitty relationships. I wish I never lost my friends, I wish tranny groomers never got them, I wish they got proper therapy and help for their issues. But that's life, I can only hope one day they wake up and detransition, if not their uncheck mental issues will probably kill them.
 
one of my bffs literally just changed his profile pic to the tranny flag, like right now, in the past 10 minutes. what in the FUCK am I supposed to even do or say. jesus christ my stomach is in my throat. WHY ARE ALL MY FRIENDS FUCKING TROONING OUT LATELY. I'm gonna have 0 friends left soon.

I literally don't know how to go forward with this. Do I wait for him to bring it up before I cut ties? LITERALLY DUNNO WHAT TO DO HERE. I'm not gonna sit around and watch him mutilate himself but this is a 16 year friendship. I waited for my other tranny friends to go too far and that didn't take long before I cut them out too.

He's been hanging out with a specific AGP coomer that wormed it's way into our mutual friends so I blame that, and he values this coomer over the rest of us at this point so there's nothing I CAN say that won't make him choose the coomer retard over us.

What. The. FUCK!
 
He's been hanging out with a specific AGP coomer that wormed it's way into our mutual friends so I blame that, and he values this coomer over the rest of us at this point so there's nothing I CAN say that won't make him choose the coomer retard over us.
As someone that went through the same experience a year ago, here's my advice:

LEAVE or at least start distancing yourself from this person.

The moment your friend started to chase the coom, he is already lost. Watching a friend's original bright and fun personality slowly fade away as a new personality, that is just unwarranted self-importance packed with a porn addiction and very backwards understanding of womanhood, starts to emerge is extremely painful and heart-wrenching to watch.

You might ask if there's room for you and your friend to compromise, the answer is there isn't.
You give your friend an inch by respecting his new pronouns and he's gonna take a mile by demanding you to accept his chosen absurd new name he picked from anime or porn.

The moment you put your foot down if you keep compromising is the moment he will abandon you, because if you're gonna not give him that dopamine rush through validation,
you outlived your usefulness to him, no matter how much years you two spent together.

I know this idea is painful and hard, especially if that person is someone you've been friends with for years but it will save you lot of trouble.
It's better to rip off the band aid now it will hurt but, the pain will be minimal than let a wound completely fester and get worse while pretending it's not so bad.
 
Had a good friend I've known since middle school troon out recently. Always knew him as a cheerful guy, super charismatic, a little naive but capable of really interesting conversation at times. Overall a fun person to be around. At some point he declared himself a femboy and started wearing skirts and thigh highs in public, which I found strange but decided to put aside for the sake of self expression or whatever. And yet, there was something off-putting about his presentation of femininity - he'd always prance around in the same knee-length skirt and candy cane striped socks, this exaggerated caricature of what he thought a woman SHOULD look like.

It all went downhill at a shocking rate after that. He changed his name and pronouns (first to they/them, then they/she, then she/her), adopted this awful cutesy uwu-speak, started wearing padded bras to give himself "gender euphoria", the whole nine yards. Now incapable of any conversation not related to sex, or trans activism, or children's media, yet has adopted this self-righteous worldview that he's "not hurting anyone" despite the fact that he's clearly tearing himself apart and most sane people are mortified by his mere existence.

Shame really. He had a wonderful mind. I've tried to reach out to him, but it's impossible to get anything to stick when he has a blindly supportive circle of friends to coddle him whenever anyone threatens to burst his bubble.
 
Was housed with a gay for a few months once. The first time we met he felt the need to apologize to me "If his anxiety made me uncomfortable while I was moving in." I hadn't noticed but in hindsight it was nice of him to wave a giant red flag in my face my first day there.

I got to know him and he was a real "seringe-inseminated, girl name, two moms, hundred partner, feminized body with hair and sweat gland mods, 'every stereotype is true we just lie about it' " type and so were all his friends. Very informative.

One time he told me he was gonna troon out at 40 because old gays are disgusting and invisible in their own "communities", but "women" aren't. If only he knew.

Eventually he went full tweaker and started trying to seal my shit so I had to leave abruptly or commit a hate crime (honestly chose poorly).

I hope he makes it to 40 so I can post him here, but his liver will probably splode from the drug cocktail he gets from his doctor. Sad.
 
The thing is, how would you do this? They'll just accuse 'your' science of being bad data or cherrypicked, or even debunked by correct tranny scientists, and good luck forcefully redpilling them with a tab on the kiwi SRS thread. People HATE unwarranted advice too. They'll convince themselves that your attempt to save them is in itself a form of anti-trans harm.

If anything, the only thing I see working is physically getting down on the floor to your troon-immediate family member and begging them to stop and that's only if they were a weak minded normie capable of empathy beforehand.
The reason why this won't work is because the troon cult casts skepticism as harm. It is very difficult to voice doubts when everyone around you is proclaiming absolute faith.

A better plan IMO is figuring out why they are trooning out in the first place. Maybe they want the sense of community or acceptance. Maybe they want relief from anxiety or self-doubt. Maybe they feel vulnerable and are looking for a sense of control. Alternatively, maybe it is how they cope with a history of childhood sexual abuse, OCD, or just plain ol' 'tism.

If you can figure out how trooning benefits them, you can steer them towards a much less harmful way to satisfy that unmet need or loosen its grip on them.
 
one of my bffs literally just changed his profile pic to the tranny flag, like right now, in the past 10 minutes. what in the FUCK am I supposed to even do or say. jesus christ my stomach is in my throat. WHY ARE ALL MY FRIENDS FUCKING TROONING OUT LATELY. I'm gonna have 0 friends left soon.

I literally don't know how to go forward with this. Do I wait for him to bring it up before I cut ties? LITERALLY DUNNO WHAT TO DO HERE. I'm not gonna sit around and watch him mutilate himself but this is a 16 year friendship. I waited for my other tranny friends to go too far and that didn't take long before I cut them out too.

He's been hanging out with a specific AGP coomer that wormed it's way into our mutual friends so I blame that, and he values this coomer over the rest of us at this point so there's nothing I CAN say that won't make him choose the coomer retard over us.

What. The. FUCK!
Damn, sucks.
I’ve read a lot of trans/detrans stories and not a single one says “My friend told me not to so I didn’t” or “I chose my friend over the popular brainwashing cult that fixes all problems”.
They never mention friends.
 
Damn, sucks.
I’ve read a lot of trans/detrans stories and not a single one says “My friend told me not to so I didn’t” or “I chose my friend over the popular brainwashing cult that fixes all problems”.
They never mention friends.
As much as they have opened their eyes, the implication there might be that their ego was bruised by being told their choice was wrong by their friends at the time. These kinds of people tend to be narcissistic in a way, after all. That might be why they never acknowledge the friends they've lost or that maybe, just maybe...their friends were right.
 
I miss my best friend so much. We were so close, spent so much time together and bonded over the cards we were dealt in life. The pain dealt to us by the hands of men in our childhoods and adolescence caused us both to experience gender dysphoria. We fantasized normal, healthy relationships larping as gay yaoi uwu boys on the Internet and kept our pronouns close. Soon enough we were both dabbling in cross sex hormones.

Fortunately I put down the koolaid two years ago. Not her.

When I realized the damage the transcult had done to me, I couldn’t bear to watch her do it to herself anymore. It was hurting me so bad. She was no longer going by male pronouns but now demanded everyone to call her by it/its pronouns. Despite her friends validating her I tried to be the voice of reason; this is not going to help you. This is just going to hurt you even more. But she said I was wrong, even health professionals were calling her by her new pronouns and that I just needed to be open minded. No.

I left her without a word. Blocked all of our contacts on social media, her number, etc and cancelled events we were to go together.

Last I saw her she has a beard and probably got her breasts chopped off. I still miss her so much. I wish things could’ve been different but I did what I needed to do for my sake. Call me cruel, I don’t care. I needed to get out with or without her.
Quoting my previous message if anyone wanted to follow this circus.

I cannot fucking believe this. I posted here before about losing my best friend to troonery (and almost myself :autism: ) and now my own mother is in a similar situation. Her best friend’s husband just told her he wants to be a woman. This is a woman with 4 daughters, late 20s-30s and a teenager. Within the past few years she’s had 3 operations due to breast cancer: removal of the first breast, the second as a preventative measure, and then reconstruction surgery this year. Meanwhile, she’s distraught due to complications and poor aesthetics of the surgery (along with managing her autoimmune illness) and the assclown is out getting pedis/manis and came home to her with pierced ears a la 8 year old's first trip to Claire's. Trannies constantly make it about themselves; always come out at their loved ones’ lowest. She’s kicked him out of the house fortunately and got in contact with a lawyer. Hasn’t told the kids about her husband’s deviancy (they’ve probably already caught on anyway) but it’s coming up soon.

She cries on the phone to my mother, asking her what she did wrong in her marriage. If she wasn’t affectionate enough or gave him enough sex, hideous things no wife in a decades long marriage should ever have to think about. My mother doesn’t know how to console her, has no idea what to tell her other than it isn’t her fault. She said something along the lines of: what do you even tell someone in a situation like this? You’re now a woman after 30 years of marriage, as your wife struggles with complications of breast cancer, auto immune diseases, etc? Are you serious? She told her husband that he broke her heart. Troonery is inherently selfish and I'm really hurting for her.

Top hat me, I’m seething and cannot cope. :(



I know I shouldn't have done it but I also snooped through my ex best friend's socials. She indeed had a double mastectomy, has a whispy pube beard all over her face and is now in a polycule with a bunch of furries she met on the internet. :cryblood:
 
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If you can figure out how trooning benefits them, you can steer them towards a much less harmful way to satisfy that unmet need or loosen its grip on them.
I believe I made a comment like yours earlier in this thread, actually. Except now I think people should just cut their losses because have you tried steering anyone to make a different choice? Even (especially) your closest loved ones? It's like a lottery of life whether it will work depending on their personality and your own interacting together. To even influence someone to that degree about such a personal choice requires an insane amount of time and mental effort that is psychologically exhausting. Worth it if it's your kid still under your household but good luck if you rolled rebellious spawn or if the brainwashing in state schools is stronger than you and your singular income of resources. Are you really ready to pull out a pen and lots of paper to figure out how to basically psy-op someone for their own good? How many evenings would you give up to be there for them? Would you do that for free?
She cries on the phone to my mother, asking her what she did wrong in her marriage. If she wasn’t affectionate enough or gave him enough sex, hideous things no wife in a decades long marriage should ever have to think about.
See, this is why not all cases are a matter of 'unmet needs'. This woman shouldn't be blaming herself for her husband's perversion. Most likely he just developed a secret porn addiction and wants to jerk off to his AGP fantasy which is a need desire that can't be met in real life. She could give that man all the sex in the world but he wouldn't want it because what he wants is to be a retard in a dress. He's chasing a dragon because he likes how it looks regardless of all else in his life, including his marriage, and some people are just that idiotic and selfish. No failure in a marriage turns husbands into AGPs otherwise half the world would be trannies, it's a problem that starts with him and not her and I hope you tell her that, hell, even show her my post. She has good chances of coming out of this alright because she sounds like she's a strong person (and has the balls to get a lawyer and kick his ungrateful ass out) but she is definitely going to have to go through a grieving process.

If you, Wallace, are in a position to influence another person away from that evil successfully, more power to you. But some people just can't be saved and our armchairing is wasted on them.
 
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