Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Akari Is My Wife]

I never thought I was really autistic up until the moment I realized I’d rather tell the truth than have friends.

I figured going along with it long-term would be more painful, and apparently I was right. The "incel" thing was funny in a way, considering every movement from the time was constantly telling you it was violence not to fuck them.

Back on topic, I know a FTM who's having to wear a catheter while desperately trying to contact the SRS surgeon because she can't pee anymore. It's a shame, this is about the only nice person I've met associated with this stuff who was actually a likeable person and not creepy.

 

[glass_houses]

I never thought I was really autistic up until the moment I realized I’d rather tell the truth than have friends.

Given that autists are the biggest hivemind conformists that ever roamed the earth, and the absolute shitstorm that erupts when someone says, "I disagree, this is my personal experience," telling the truth is not indicative of autism in the slightest.

 

[Terffals]

Given that autists are the biggest hivemind conformists that ever roamed the earth, and the absolute shitstorm that erupts when someone says, "I disagree, this is my personal experience," telling the truth is not indicative of autism in the slightest.

That’s heartening because I definitely feel like some flavor of special ed after being tag team gaslit about basic biology.

 

[Doktor Grimm]

I think that a lot of these types of people would react to these questions with, "Of course not!"

They want to feel like they have power over the situation. In their minds, they won't say, "I'm trooning out because I hate how other people see me. I can't handle it."

I see what you mean. I think the troons who are honest with themselves are easier to deprogram because they manage to maintain that crucial shred of self-awareness. It's a lot harder to reason with someone in denial.

The issue with troonism is that it's multifaceted; you'd need a novel to properly deconstruct every possible justification someone may have for transitioning, which is far more than the average terminally online tranny is willing to read. What these people really need is proper therapy instead of retards like myself yelling at them on the computer. If only they weren't encouraged to cut everyone out of their life who challenges them even slightly.

 

[YourFriendlyLurker 2.0]

Is there a friendly way to deliver that kind of message?

No amount of surgeries, validation, or pronouns are gonna teleportate you from your problems, at the end you are gonna remain the same old self. Fix brains, not bodies.

 

[Nynaeve al'Meara]

My husband just recently let me know that his brother mentioned to him (after a night of festivities and drinking) that my brother thinks he may be transgender. I had gone to bed and my husband was well-buttered himself, but nonetheless I'm quite taken aback.
I'm not shocked, but disappointed. His friend group is largely trans or otherwise gendie sorts. He's a very short and slim-statured gentleman with a calm and introverted demeanor. It just...infuriates me, really. My husband and I are on the same page about, for example, enby identities ultimately just enforcing a limited view of gender, so I know he has some complicated thoughts on it.
It makes me livid knowing that I bet his friends told him that because he isn't traditionally masculine, maybe he just isn't a man after all! Totally progressive, right?

 

[imaginary friend]

Sometimes I wish that I’d remained stupid and oblivious, having no opinions on transgender things. I can’t go back now, because it feels like I’m forsaking basic moral principles if I do. It feels unnatural to even pretend I’m alright with gender nonsense.

I had an online friend (met during the pandemic) who seemed pretty cool, but she was very tumblr-esque, friends with plenty of genderspecials, felt like I was walking on eggshells sometimes. One day she messaged me “hey i only use xe/xem now i am so euphoric hehe” and I just went “oh. okay” because I didn’t know how to respond. Now that I think about it I should’ve known that was a sign she was too far gone.

Things went on as normal until I peaked and proceeded to ask her questions. She kept derailing the conversation HARD in this very saccharine, gaslighty kind of way. I did my own research, and a few days later told her what I thought in a very respectful way, linking many sources that directly contradicted her claims.

It feels so god damn obvious in hindsight that this would happen, but this person who had claimed for the past couple of years that she’d be there for me no matter what, didn’t say a word before blocking me on all social media platforms. We were vulnerable with each other about such sensitive things, but this was too much for her to even try and talk me out of it. The fact she couldn’t even grace me with a response, the absolute coward.

Lesson learned! SJWs will turn their backs on you at the drop of a hat, years of connections cut easily over only questioning the trans doctrine. She’s decent enough to not tell others we know, but it just makes me so pissed. It’s my fault for being stupid and believing in someone like her, but I’m still feeling angry over it, like I was tricked somehow.

 

[Terffals]

Sometimes I wish that I’d remained stupid and oblivious, having no opinions on transgender things. I can’t go back now, because it feels like I’m forsaking basic moral principles if I do. It feels unnatural to even pretend I’m alright with gender nonsense.

I had an online friend (met during the pandemic) who seemed pretty cool, but she was very tumblr-esque, friends with plenty of genderspecials, felt like I was walking on eggshells sometimes. One day she messaged me “hey i only use xe/xem now i am so euphoric hehe” and I just went “oh. okay” because I didn’t know how to respond. Now that I think about it I should’ve known that was a sign she was too far gone.

Things went on as normal until I peaked and proceeded to ask her questions. She kept derailing the conversation HARD in this very saccharine, gaslighty kind of way. I did my own research, and a few days later told her what I thought in a very respectful way, linking many sources that directly contradicted her claims.

It feels so god damn obvious in hindsight that this would happen, but this person who had claimed for the past couple of years that she’d be there for me no matter what, didn’t say a word before blocking me on all social media platforms. We were vulnerable with each other about such sensitive things, but this was too much for her to even try and talk me out of it. The fact she couldn’t even grace me with a response, the absolute coward.

Lesson learned! SJWs will turn their backs on you at the drop of a hat, years of connections cut easily over only questioning the trans doctrine. She’s decent enough to not tell others we know, but it just makes me so pissed. It’s my fault for being stupid and believing in someone like her, but I’m still feeling angry over it, like I was tricked somehow.

Tricked is a great word for it. “We’re here for you for anything, we’ll never judge you” they say. Riiiight.

I have a certain emotional disregulation disorder and I had a hard time staying dispassionate when confronting them on the topics. They repeatedly ignored my proof after proof after proof with telling me I’m being a bitch and hurting their feelings. They told me I was crassly bringing up a sensitive topic.

Uh sorry shm’am I’m just trying to get you to respond yes or no, “is grooming kids wrong” and you keep telling me my tone is the real problem here.

It doesn’t matter if you’re polite about it or a clumsy bitch like I was. The fact of the matter is, they choose every day to wake up and deny nature. They choose to cover their eyes to any injustice that doesn’t affect them. You cannot hold an honest relationship with a person like that.

For the record I’ve been a terf wrecking ball this week. I’m up to like, 4-5 maybe more? Word gets around. Friendship canceled.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Lesson learned! SJWs will turn their backs on you at the drop of a hat, years of connections cut easily over only questioning the trans doctrine. She’s decent enough to not tell others we know, but it just makes me so pissed. It’s my fault for being stupid and believing in someone like her, but I’m still feeling angry over it, like I was tricked somehow.

Tricked is a great word for it. “We’re here for you for anything, we’ll never judge you” they say. Riiiight.

It's a secular religion! Or a metaphysical belief, but from the way they organize and do the shunning, it's way more like a religion.

Except it's a religion that the State does enforce the tenets of. This is baffling and scary both as a free speech enjoyer, and also as someone who becomes upset and confused when written rules are not followed.

 

[Jarry Seinfelt]

I hate talking about my personal life here outside of the absolute broadest strokes. But one of my cousins, and the only one on that side of the family I'm at all close with, has become a really obvious chaser over the last year or two. Five or six years ago, he was very into Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson, but not uncritically so. For instance, he'd text me clips of JBP discussing trans athletes on Rogan and how retarded of an idea it was to let a man into female powerlifting competitions, but he thought it was dumb that Rogan would have Milo or whatever other conservative lolcow on. So, you know, a reasonable and nuanced opinion. But about a year or two back he started cracking the occasional joke about how if he had a trans girlfriend, they'd play video games with him. Nowadays, nearly every conversation with him becomes something about the tranny culture wars or how he wants a trans girlfriend.

It's ironic because he used to be the more conservative out of the two of us, and that makes me think back to something I've heard a few apolitical people I know say: they don't identify as conservative, but their friend circles have more conservatives because they found that moderates and conservatives were more chill and accepting than hardcore left-wingers. Obviously not universal but it's seeming more true to me over the past couple years. I'm pro environmentalism and labor rights and shit but I'm critical of the trans movement. I also don't think society should bend over backwards and totally subordinate everything else to self-admittedly mentally ill men in dresses. Yeah sure, equality of opportunity is important, and it's entirely different from equality of outcome. You can't become a woman, HRT seriously and permanently because men and women are supposed to have different ratios of both sex hormones, the surgeries troons go through are filled with complications unlike any actual medically-necessary procedure, or even a lot of cosmetic ones. Those are simple, incontrovertible facts.

We both live in conservative-ish areas of the country, so I'm not sure what changed. Could be that the Wu-flu broke his brain in that particular way, could be that he doesn't think he's man enough to land a True And Honest woman (he's a bit older than me so maybe marriage is on his mind, seems more a girlbrain thing, though), could be some sort of repressed homosexuality, dunno. Whatever it is, it sucks and I hope he snaps out of it and becomes reasonable again. But, to be realistic, I'm pessimistic on the chances of that happening.

 

[MongInTheMirror]

I have a certain emotional disregulation disorder and I had a hard time staying dispassionate when confronting them on the topics. They repeatedly ignored my proof after proof after proof with telling me I’m being a bitch and hurting their feelings. They told me I was crassly bringing up a sensitive topic.

Uh sorry shm’am I’m just trying to get you to respond yes or no, “is grooming kids wrong” and you keep telling me my tone is the real problem here.

I've had these conversations, and it's infuriating for anyone, TBH. The denial programming is just so impenetrable it feels like you're talking to a fucking android. I distinctly remember getting into this one night with a college friend - it was weird, she was from the Middle East (so you'd think she'd understand misogyny better than most) but a rather sheltered, upper-class background. I was talking about the overweening misogyny of troons, how they act exactly like the worst type of men, and they generally had no access to the experience of "being a woman" in the first place. No matter how many examples I have, no matter the evidence, she just did not get it. At one point I asked her if she would accept it if I one day just turned around and started "identifying" as a member of her ethnicity despite never having been to the area, not speaking the language, etc.

When she actually told me she would, I just threw my hands up in frustration. I don't know how you're supposed to converse with these people. It's impossible.

 

[Jarry Seinfelt]

I've had these conversations, and it's infuriating for anyone, TBH. The denial programming is just so impenetrable it feels like you're talking to a fucking android. I distinctly remember getting into this one night with a college friend - it was weird, she was from the Middle East (so you'd think she'd understand misogyny better than most) but a rather sheltered, upper-class background. I was talking about the overweening misogyny of troons, how they act exactly like the worst type of men, and they generally had no access to the experience of "being a woman" in the first place. No matter how many examples I have, no matter the evidence, she just did not get it. At one point I asked her if she would accept it if I one day just turned around and started "identifying" as a member of her ethnicity despite never having been to the area, not speaking the language, etc.

When she actually told me she would, I just threw my hands up in frustration. I don't know how you're supposed to converse with these people. It's impossible.

These people take some sociological concept that makes sense in a very specific context, and torture every single definition of every single word in it, to their advantage. Look at how many social media trannies identify as POC, despite being white as the driven snow. It's not just Dolezal type shit but it's an extreme convolution of the idea that a few hundred years ago, a guy like Frederick Douglass would've been considered less black than a field slave, because his father was white (his mother's owner, IIRC), he was a house slave, and he knew how to read and write. I legit know a blonde, blue eyed white guy who considers himself a minority because his dad's of Polish ancestry, even though his dad's also an Ivy League educated lawyer and he has personally never wanted for anything in his life. Doesn't speak a word of Polish and hasn't been outside of the Northeastern USA or California either.

 

[NX-01]

Had a friend in high school that was super weird, but I was still really close with. In the late 2000's, he transitioned - when I was younger, having grown up in the northeastern US, I was very tolerant of it. Just, like, let people do what they want, man. We sort of fell out of touch by the end of the 2000's. I'd heard he went off to Vegas and became a tranny porn star. I'd only hear from him if he needed something. Tried to remain friends with him, but it just got harder and harder to deal with such a self centered narcissist.

Haven't spoken to him in ten plus years, easy. Recently, his name came up in conversation with an old friend, and I was told he's dead now. Probably 41%'ed himself.

There I was, so jaded after watching the pronoun people infiltrate and ruin everything I've enjoyed over the last decade, hearing about the death of someone I was so close to as a teenager, I felt nothing. And only one word popped in to my head:

Good.

 

[SIMIΔN]

Tell her she is bringing dishonor to her family and she's making her ancestors cry.

Update, she brought up that her father died when she was young, so her mother was her only source of love.
I didn't ask about her family, as I wrongly assumed it might have been violent.
She told me she would like a mixed-race baby one day, I guess I can relax about her trooning out.
I think the masculine dress is just to make it clear to her mother that she really doesn't want her mother introducing single men to her.

 

[gugui]

Had an ex who was fine at first then trooned out mid relationship and started to become the female version of me
It’s bad already that he was a faggot but now he’s a tranny faggot
Ruined a perfectly fine relationship due to being a selfish AGPtard

 

[NoReturn]

It makes me livid knowing that I bet his friends told him that because he isn't traditionally masculine, maybe he just isn't a man after all! Totally progressive, right?

I've gotten that same line personally and so have a couple other people I know. I wonder if it's an "egg" shibboleth they use for identifying each other.

 

[teriyakiburns]

I've gotten that same line personally and so have a couple other people I know. I wonder if it's an "egg" shibboleth they use for identifying each other.

Planting a seed of doubt, about identity or belief or some other aspect of their life, is usually one of the first steps to indoctrinating someone into a cult.

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

Planting a seed of doubt, about identity or belief or some other aspect of their life, is usually one of the first steps to indoctrinating someone into a cult.

Can't it be used the same way to help them getting out of it?

 

[Terffals]

Can't it be used the same way to help them getting out of it?

In my experience, once they’re in, they become extremely resistant to outside ideas. It’s one of the big signs it’s a real, albeit leaderless, cult.

 

[Baraadmirer]

Can't it be used the same way to help them getting out of it?

I say it's harder. When they were questioning their identity or gender they didn't have a perceived social net to fall back on for support. With the online troon groups the lovebombing makes it harder for them to question any niggling doubts they may have.