Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Marvin]

Could this why it seems to be mainly affluent and/or kids from broken homes who seem to fall for this? Mum and dad are so busy working and keeping up appearances, so they find Discord groomers and weirdo teachers to fill the void?

I've worried for awhile about the general trend of people moving out to the suburbs to raise families with the false belief that they don't have to actually parent their kids. They get the idea that, because the suburbs have low crimes rates, there's not any serious trouble their kids can get up to if they're not paying super close attention.

So the parents are busy working, as you note, commuting to office parks or urban areas, mostly leaving their kids to be raised by television and dumb bullshit on the internet.

Even fairly busy parents in urban areas seem to be more concerned about their kids because the threats are more immediate (gangs and drugs and whatnot), so they're overall more attentive.

It's not solely about political affiliation either. If parents want to raise their kids with a more liberal perspective on the world, there's totally a way to do that with moderation. You can raise your kids to be sensitive to social concerns, if that's important to you, without teaching them that just because a homosexual does it, it's beyond criticism.

And I don't think a lot of liberal parents are necessarily teaching that to their kids themselves. But in their absence, TV and social media is teaching them that.

That's why you're getting lifelong blue voters getting big surprises when their kids are coming back from their first semester at some dumb liberal college, telling mom and dad that they're cishet patriarchal oppressors and that this is stolen land and blah blah blah.

In the suburbs, sure, your kid is less likely to join a criminal gang, but you still need to keep an eye on them because they're going to join a gender gang instead.

 

[Baraadmirer]

And last thing, I don't know if this is just me but ever since she identified as trans (she identified first as a trans man, now non binary) shes been very easy to anger, even for the slightest thing, she is not taking any hormones, shes just a regular woman, but once she changed her identity she changed her mood, became more annoying, angry and attention seeking.

"Queerness" is political, and are you really super political if you don't see injustice in every waking moment of your life?

 

[Rap Scallion]

My now ex-fiance pooned out and dumped me out of the blue the day before Christmas. Insists on the he/him shit and that she's a Heckin' Strong Man despite being nowhere close to even the laziest form of androgyny. She's going to live her yaoi uke dreams now.

Her family loved me and I loved them. What a way to start the year.

This shit is truly a cult. Is it me or is it indicative that so many girls who poon out are not gainfully employed and have nothing going for them other than sitting online all day?

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

My now ex-fiance pooned out and dumped me out of the blue

I'm very sorry! Where there any red flags in hinsight?

Her family loved me and I loved them.

I also feel sorry for the family of the troon because they are going to grieve too; for you (because you aren't part of the family anymore) and for her (because they lost a daughter and have to deal with a freakish ghoul in her place). They lost 2 people and now because of the troon the family dynamic is going to change. It's going to be very stressful.

This shit is truly a cult.

It is. My friend wasn't able to save her boyfriend from this mad horror either.

Take your time to grieve this person and remember that you are still lucky because you haven't gotten married yet. The pain and stress would be much worse if you were. Also it's not your fault. Your girlfriend decided to throw away her future with you and her body. Don't blame yourself.

 

[You're MDNWU]

are not gainfully employed and have nothing going for them other than sitting online all day?

The terminally online is key.

A common theme I see keep popping up in these stories is typically Discord.

The only people I know or ever see that use Discord are troons, goons, and gamers (who inevitably go either way if no real life).

 

[Rap Scallion]

I'm very sorry! Where there any red flags in hinsight?


I also feel sorry for the family of the troon because they are going to grieve too; for you (because you aren't part of the family anymore) and for her (because they lost a daughter and have to deal with a freakish ghoul in her place). They lost 2 people and now because of the troon the family dynamic is going to change. It's going to be very stressful.


It is. My friend wasn't able to save her boyfriend from this mad horror either.

Take your time to grieve this person and remember that you are still lucky because you haven't gotten married yet. The pain and stress would be much worse if you were. Also it's not your fault. Your girlfriend decided to throw away her future with you and her body. Don't blame yourself.

The only red flag that comes to mind was the sheer amount of vocal trans friends she ended up interacting with online while recovering from surgery a few months ago. She was happy and being more social, our dynamic didn't really change and I was honestly willing to try and entertain it hoping she'd move on from it when she first told me about it.

I (begrudgingly) called her my boyfriend and husband a few times to try and keep the peace, but it felt like trying to convince people the sky is red very quickly.

Don't be like me, never cave to these people, it will only get worse.

In my experience in the past ten years, the toxic swamp that is troons congregating together that seems to do everybody in at some point or another. The insistence that you must cut everyone off who doesn't respect calling you He/They/Fae/It or whatever, that your family and friends hate you, and that found family will take care of you, until eventually you do something to provoke these thin-skinned NEETs and find yourself alone in whatever unfamiliar expensive blue city you moved to. The Final Fantasy house seems like Wonderland compared to troon congregations.

I genuinely hope she's happy with what she's doing, but I don't think she will be in the end. It really feels like the artsy fartsy types of people are the most vulnerable.

The terminally online is key.

A common theme I see keep popping up in these stories is typically Discord.

The only people I know or ever see that use Discord are troons, goons, and gamers (who inevitably go either way if no real life).

God I hate Discord. I thought it was just TeamSpeak 2.0 back in the day as a cute little gaming space but it became so much worse. It's everywhere and every business and organization has one now.

 

[Ed Special]

Is it me or is it indicative that so many girls who poon out are not gainfully employed and have nothing going for them other than sitting online all day?

Trooning/pooning is almost universally a symptom of having far too much free time. It's far easier to develop self-destructive thought patterns when you don't have your survival taking up clock cycles.

 

[Not A Bunny]

It's far easier to develop self-destructive thought patterns when you don't have your survival taking up clock cycles.

Not just survival, but productivity.

If you are legit good at something, your brain has no time to ponder stupid shit like being born in the wrong body.

I firmly believe people troon out for validation. If you can offer no value to the world, you'll latch onto something that gives you instant gratification with low cost of energy to get it.

 

[FedPostalService]

pooning is almost universally a symptom of having far too much free time.

Nah, pooning is usually not being to process trauma after being raped a bunch, usually as a little girl, and a sprinkling of autism.

 

[Tetopettenson]

a little update on this: her voice is making like my heart and slowly breaking
ive been dropping hints that this might not be the best choice for her to make but something tells me im not getting through to her. heres a word of advice for everyone here, thinking someone is sexy and wanting to look like them doesnt mean you have dysphoria and need to start taking drugs and cutting stuff off. it means you (big gasp) want to be happy in your own skin (thankfully this is something you can do if you just start taking better care of yourself, no surgical intervention required )

Spoiler: mildly horrifying

one morning she quietly complained to me about feeling some pain down below and i asked her if she had any idea what could have been causing it. my first thought was maybe she had a uti or maybe shed done something in her sleep or whatever. imagine my horror when she whispers to me about it being because of "growth". its hard to focus on a lecture after that

lol i write updates on this like its a fucking blog. anyway heres another one. i hate the catharsis of writing in this thread but its the only place i have to talk about it
shes now apparently exclusively attracted to men and she has a bunch of graphic novels about gay men (all written by women who only write about the soft and idealized versions of these relationships) all over her place since the last time i visited. her voice gets harder to listen to every day. she did some singing today and holy shit the amount of range shes lost in just a few months is scary. the other day she started deliberately making her voice crack because she thought it was a cool sign of progress but man did it make me sad. these people dont realize that theres a mourning process for those around them when they start transitioning because its never just their gender, their whole personality seems to change with it. its like the hormones rot their minds, they always seem just a bit more unstable and alien

 

[Not A Bunny]

their whole personality seems to change with it.

This is why people are fine with people being gay. There's never a marked personality change. In fact, there's typically a story of "we always kind of knew".

When someone they know turns up trans and everyone is suddenly confused, it's down to the person claiming to be trans to show some self-awareness and realize that, "oh, hey, this is a big change and people might have a problem with it". But, let's not pretend that the culture surrounds being trans is more or less giving people the finger to people who care about them.

 

[NoReturn]

This is why people are fine with people being gay. There's never a marked personality change. In fact, there's typically a story of "we always kind of knew".

When someone they know turns up trans and everyone is suddenly confused, it's down to the person claiming to be trans to show some self-awareness and realize that, "oh, hey, this is a big change and people might have a problem with it". But, let's not pretend that the culture surrounds being trans is more or less giving people the finger to people who care about them.

Another part of it is that you being gay requires nothing from me.

"I'm gay."
"Ok, you like men's butts. Have fun with that."

"I'm trans."
"Ok-"
"Now you need to call me a new name, use female pronouns, never show any discomfort around my behavior, let me into the bathroom at the same time as you, let me touch and hug you like you would a female friend, and if you oppose any of these I'll report you for being a bigot."

 

[Not A Bunny]

"I'm trans."
"Ok-"
"Now you need to call me a new name, use female pronouns, never show any discomfort around my behavior, let me into the bathroom at the same time as you, let me touch and hug you like you would a female friend, and if you oppose any of these I'll report you for being a bigot."

Also, you can't even be neutral. You have to be "respectful".

Or, alternately, you're providing them the most basic human dignity, else you're denying their existence.

Fucking trannies are all such teenage girls.

 

[Stevie Dicks]

Could this why it seems to be mainly affluent and/or kids from broken homes who seem to fall for this? Mum and dad are so busy working and keeping up appearances, so they find Discord groomers and weirdo teachers to fill the void?

You're certainly correct. Now to be honest, there's almost no affluent kids who attend my school, it is a public school in a big American city, so I can't attest to that dichotomy. But I can say that I work in an area with a lot of poverty and gang violence, a lot of these kids' dads are in gangs or in jail or just were never around. I feel like that says all it needs to say.

Also worth noting that the sizable population of South Asian kids at my school NEVER identify as trans, and from my observation even the poorest of Indian American families have a tight family bond and work in actual jobs. I know the Farms has interesting feelings on India, but their family-focused culture has (in my opinion) led to a lot less troon outs than their white/black/Hispanic peers.

Also, you never eluded to this, but an interesting thing I noticed is that trans identified females usually start their "transition" journey much earlier than trans identified male students. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this connects to how TIFs often transition to escape the politicization of the female body (which makes sense early in puberty) and TIMs often transition due to their sexual proclivities (which makes sense late in puberty). I feel like no one talks about this so I just wanted to mention it.

I understand being worried about your job, but when you see a kid getting put on the train to Auschwitz, you need to send an anon note to the parents or something. You cannot stand idly on innocent blood. You know it.

Oh I have non-anonymously broken school policy to inform parents of name/pronoun changes, especially if the kid is in my homeroom/AP classes and they're directly my responsibility. It's never bitten me in the ass and I'm planning on playing dumb if they ever catch on that I'm doing this. Unfortunately, the school is so massive that I don't have the contact information of every parent, and the only way to get them would be to ask their homeroom teachers or administration for this contact info, which would be very suspicious as I don't have them as students, so why would I need it?

The saddest part about that is that I'm mostly teaching honors and AP classes across all grade levels. So, to put it perhaps cruelly, it's the dumber kids who are probably more suggestible who's parents I can't really reach out to.

 

[Ed Special]

The saddest part about that is that I'm mostly teaching honors and AP classes across all grade levels. So, to put it perhaps cruelly, it's the dumber kids who are probably more suggestible who's parents I can't really reach out to.

Honestly, in my experience in high school (during the Obama admin, to keep things vague), it wasn't the tards or normies who were trooning and getting into genderspecial cult shit, it was the AP and Honors kids. If I had to guess, I'd say your school's probably seeing similar patterns.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

The saddest part about that is that I'm mostly teaching honors and AP classes across all grade levels. So, to put it perhaps cruelly, it's the dumber kids who are probably more suggestible who's parents I can't really reach out to.

I don't think dumb as in low IQ leads to the kind of suggestibility that leads to trooning out. I think smart kids with no common sense are far more vulnerable to it. In particular wordcels- you can talk a gullible wordcel into anything if you can make it sound pretty with lots of nice big flowery wordy wordwords.

Pooners are mostly the girls who were told they are "smart and good at writing!" and troon teens are mostly boys who were all on track to be a "computer programmer" to the point of it being utterly predictable every time I look into another case. Like that black kid who got trooned out right from the mental ward in DC- black boy in DC, you're thinking, surely this one was a low IQ basketball American- nope, he was taking early admit engineering classes at the local college.

 

[Tragon Dirtle]

I don't think dumb as in low IQ leads to the kind of suggestibility that leads to trooning out. I think smart kids with no common sense are far more vulnerable to it. In particular wordcels- you can talk a gullible wordcel into anything if you can make it sound pretty with lots of nice big flowery wordy wordwords.

Pooners are mostly the girls who were told they are "smart and good at writing!" and troon teens are mostly boys who were all on track to be a "computer programmer" to the point of it being utterly predictable every time I look into another case. Like that black kid who got trooned out right from the mental ward in DC- black boy in DC, you're thinking, surely this one was a low IQ basketball American- nope, he was taking early admit engineering classes at the local college.

Yeah tbh I think that describes me very well. I was presented an image of social mobility that was not possible (but had been for my parents) and sort of escaped into a fantasyland where immense fantastical change of self, self-worth and circumstances were possible by redefining myself through words, particularly as stopped before going down the medical route. But I remember really feeling like I could speak change into existence.

But they're just doing what femfags and desperate teenange girls imagine straight men find hot.
And the straight men they get, actually get off on them debasing themselves for them, not the actual "aesthetic", because it's shit.
Actually, it IS the ridiculessness, which gets them off.

I think a lot of the troons know that and are getting off to the humiliation but can't admit it or they'd be ostracised and lose access to the source of the fetish. I think a lot of the ftms know this and troon to avoid this. While the fake boobs are even more ridiculous, there's plenty of social representation of larger boobs or women's strength vulnerability being ridiculous / humiliating which makes puberty a potentially frightening transformative experience they want to avoid with nothing good on the other side. I've ranted about this a lot on the farms but childhood porn exposure has just rapidly magnified the amount of boys with this attitude and the amount of girls with this corresponding fear.

Also worth noting that the sizable population of South Asian kids at my school NEVER identify as trans, and from my observation even the poorest of Indian American families have a tight family bond and work in actual jobs. I know the Farms has interesting feelings on India, but their family-focused culture has (in my opinion) led to a lot less troon outs than their white/black/Hispanic peers.

Yes, but also they culturally already have the third gender mtf hijras and while the white trans can just hear hijra and think Exotic any south asian potential troon is going to know that their entire family is going to hear trans and either think of hijras, who are literally mentally ill beggars who threaten people and invade normal heterosexual weddings until they are paid to go away.

 

[Waifuchu]

Fucking trannies are all such teenage girls.

Well don't say that, you're going to give them boners.

 

[Everett C. Marm]

My best friend since middle school just fell for it out of nowhere.

His family is one of those giant Catholic families, and is really conservative. I kind of had a vague idea that he might be gay in high school, since he dated girls but only ever very briefly and never went anywhere with them. Obviously his family was and is pretty anti-gay and so he never really engaged with the concept back then. I'm also pretty he has some tism, but he loves hiking, outdoors shit, and planes, and just generally is a fun friend to have. In high school, he started having doubts about religion which we talked about but he never brought it up to his family because they would fully disown him if they heard this (they jettisoned one of his older sisters over her saying the same thing).

We went off to different colleges, he went out of state, but we stayed in touch over a discord server with all our old friends. At some point in the last few months, he joined a different discord server with some mutual friends and this one was full of the groomer-type of tranny. He started spending a lot of time over there with these freaks, and started getting into femboys, talking about thigh highs, all of that. I got a bit worried and tried to pull him back over, dropping some mild information about how HRT is medically unsafe and how some people we both knew detransitioned and are happier, but it's fucking impossible to get autists to change their mind on anything.

Anyway, cut to now and he tells me "I'm on estrogen and spiro and my new name is *name from tranny video game*". I have no clue what to do or what to say. I have lost other people to trooning but he was the one that I always thought would just be fine in the end. I hate the grooming and I hate that they're killing somebody who has been my friend for forever. His main hobby is doing outdoors stuff and the troonshine is going to absolutely demolish his body. The whole friend group is all supporting him blowing himself up and I have no way of getting him to stop.

It is so fucking infuriating. It's like the friend I knew got hollowed out and replaced by some parasite who just says "skirt go spinny tittle skittles uwu :3". He does degen shit like sexting on the main chat in the server and posting borderline porn which is stuff he never would have done before. I don't know how to pull him out of this before he destroys his life. The worst part is I know he is isolated at college, and all his friends are online, so his only interaction is Discord and nobody there ever pushes back.

I'm sorry I don't know how to save you Eli. You were my best friend and I'd give anything for you to stop.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

It is so fucking infuriating. It's like the friend I knew got hollowed out and replaced by some parasite who just says "skirt go spinny tittle skittles uwu :3". He does degen shit like sexting on the main chat in the server and posting borderline porn which is stuff he never would have done before. I don't know how to pull him out of this before he destroys his life. The worst part is I know he is isolated at college, and all his friends are online, so his only interaction is Discord and nobody there ever pushes back.

You have nothing to lose by leveling with him. "Tranny name from vidya will never be my friend. Tranny name from vidya will always only ever be to me the person who killed my best friend Eli. Your life is your own to waste, but I won't stand around and watch you turn into some kind of weird brainwashed clone."