Lost in life
- Thread starter funkybitch
- Start date
-
🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
-
Want to keep track of this thread?
Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
Create account
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2025
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2023
funkybitch
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2025
Are you trying to tell me that if I want my life fixed I need to become a nazi?
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2023
not necessarily, but an earnest re-examination why base conditions are the way they are can open doors of consciousness, and personal growth
i'm not even convinced most young western people have the background prerequisites to become nazis, the psycho-linguistic conditioning is almost absolute
TLDR; I'm not the boss of you, but try doing psychedelics, in a safe environment with trusted friends, I would have never understood that the bad guys won WWII, and our lives were previously destined to be mere flotsam and jetsam in the aftermath of that global catastrophe - if I never did psychedelics
Hail the rising Sun.
invisibult plus+
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2024
@Perfect Day was onto something when he said to redirect your addictive tendencies, but like everyone else said, don’t do roids. That’s adding oil to a grease fire. If you want direction in life, ask yourself what you got out of gambling in the first place, why you did it.
GAMBA on analyzing what went wrong, GAMBA on new experiences that lead to a sustainable outcome, GAMBA on learning shit, memorize words in a foreign language with flashcards or something idk. But the important thing is, if you really want to change, is to be honest with yourself. Not just what went wrong, but why it went wrong and what caused it. A trick to thinking about it is putting yourself outside your shoes, give yourself advice as if you were advising someone else. But only you really know
what’s in your heart.
GAMBA on analyzing what went wrong, GAMBA on new experiences that lead to a sustainable outcome, GAMBA on learning shit, memorize words in a foreign language with flashcards or something idk. But the important thing is, if you really want to change, is to be honest with yourself. Not just what went wrong, but why it went wrong and what caused it. A trick to thinking about it is putting yourself outside your shoes, give yourself advice as if you were advising someone else. But only you really know
what’s in your heart. 
Meriasek
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 16, 2020
Might also just be the hope that a boost of testosterone will temporarily bring back energy, motivation, and some form of aggression, which might help dig him out of his hole.
funkybitch
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2025
The problem is theres no drive in me anymore. I feel seriously fucked in the head, like I'm not from this planet anymore or something.. anyways fuck my life@Perfect Day was onto something when he said to redirect your addictive tendencies, but like everyone else said, don’t do roids. That’s adding oil to a grease fire. If you want direction in life, ask yourself what you got out of gambling in the first place, why you did it.
GAMBA on analyzing what went wrong, GAMBA on new experiences that lead to a sustainable outcome, GAMBA on learning shit, memorize words in a foreign language with flashcards or something idk. But the important thing is, if you really want to change, is to be honest with yourself. Not just what went wrong, but why it went wrong and what caused it. A trick to thinking about it is putting yourself outside your shoes, give yourself advice as if you were advising someone else. But only you really know
invisibult plus+
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2024
Considering what happened, that’s not surprising you’d feel that. Even if you don’t feel like doing anything, start small. Memorizing 5 things, doing some sets at the gym, things like that. Genuinely touch grass o algo. Your brain is trying to protect you from a lot of hurt, and the way out is showing it that things can get better. Small things add up, even if they seem pointless at first.
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2021
If someone gets into a major accident it can take months to years before they are able to walk and function again. You took a major wound, and got your whole world rocked. You have to accept that its going to be tough now, and for a time. But with time, you will be able to build something new. But it will probably be hard work. Nobody goes through something like that unscathed. Be wary of substance abuse, it will only make your situation way worse.
Also, depending on which holidays you engage in, consider looking into community held thanksgivings, Christmases and new year eves etc., or volunteer somewhere during those events. Those days can be tough to go through alone.
Even if its just something stupid like playing a game and chatting with people online during such an occasion, is better than being alone.
There's plenty of people in your situation looking for others to keep them company.
You fucked up, and took your fall. You too deserve redemption. Build what you can and grow.
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2022
So are you still a narcissistic, impulsive gambling addict? I'm trying to figure out what you actually want. If you want to repair your life then you've already identified the problem, and the only way to repair relationships is with a lot of time and effort. People won't trust you if you tell them you've changed, because you destroyed the trust already. So they will only believe it in your actions. That will take a long time, so either it's worth it to you, or it's not. If it is, then the journey starts one day at a time basically.
If you don't really want to change, then you just have to embrace your new life as a reckless & rootless lone wolf. Which means working in Sales is probably your calling, as someone else mentioned. Or if you're too lazy for that and don't care enough to repair your relationships, and you're dead set on killing yourself, then travel somewhere you've always wanted to go and start a new life there. That could kick start a change for you, and worse case scenario if you still decide to kill yourself, at least you'll have lived some new experiences.
Or if you want some notoriety, take out George Soros or something, then you'll have your own Wikipedia page at least, and your friends and family will finally respect you again.
funkybitch
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2025
See heres the thing...first off I don't know if I'm an narcissist? who tf know, I might be one.
Second I made peace with sadly probably never talking to people from my "old" life so I don't really care about reconnections with them.
The problem lies in what to do, where to begin. I got all the answers to ehat to do but I feel stuck, I don't know wtf is happening in my brain.
It feels like I come to my senses for 10mins everyday but then drift back to numbness and 0 care about what is going to happen to me?
I don't know how to explain it better.
I feel the need to press restart and begin from being a child and hopefully not make retarded decisions like I did in this life.
Reading my posts it seems like I got depression or something, I feel like blowing my brain off with a shotgun sometimes but then I get stopped by something? and get slight like 0.0001% motivation to not do it and just go back to bed and do nothing - so wtf is this. My brain feels destroyed beyond repair.
Is this the result of stress? trauma?
I also feel like a big piece of shit for letti g all the people that seen me as genuine down. Well once up in this lifetime I was a good friend, boyfriend, son but this all changed.
All changed when I became a degenerate gambling addict. And now I see no point in going on in my life.
Praying something kills me soon.
Let all the immigrant scum in my vountry and please one of them stab me in the neck and let me bleed out also stomp my brain in.
Private Tag Reporter
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2024
I recommend posting your journey on youtube, the good, the bad, and the funny 
funkybitch
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2025
Theres nothing to journal.I recommend posting your journey on youtube, the good, the bad, and the funny
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2022
So like I said then, move somewhere else far away and start over. We don't need more whiny little bitches in the world, so stop being that and start taking the actions needed to rebuild a new life.
Perfect Day
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2025
My dude, from what I gather here, you still live with your mom and you have a girlfriend, not a wife, if I had a guess I'd say you're probably in your early 20's. Yet you talk like you're a washed up 50-year-old with no kids. You're not Nick Cave drinking himself to death in Las Vegas. You're entering adulthood. You haven't fucked up your life, you haven't even started living yet. What you're going through is a common coping mechanism for young men entering manhood, trying to avoid taking on responsibilities. You should become a man, yet you still act like a boy. I believe you are a smart guy, but here lies the problem, that instead of using your faculties to do something productive, you waste them pointlessly.
Your gambling was just a way for you to exhaust your limitless energy into something. It's a distraction. Some guys waste away chasing bitches, getting high, even playing too much video games or gooning. You get nothing from it, and nothing will come out of these things. Weber would say the tragedy of men like you is not that you have this fire, but that you burn it pointlessly. Take that restlessness and bind it to something you can stand on, something that's yours.
The fact that you don't feel like it doesn't matter. How you feel doesn't matter. Man is a machine with feelings, if you're feelings get in the way of your work, ignore them. Pain is a thing of the mind, the mind can be controlled. You are a sentient creature capable of reason, not a slave to your emotions. You must win this battle against the self, this is what makes you human.
You say that you don't believe in god. Very well... but what are you. You are a weird agglomeration of molecules into a consistent whole that thinks and pursues a motion for a short duration of time. You are incredibly lucky, that all this dirt, air, shit and cum came together at a minuscule point in time to form what you are. And when you die, all these things that formed the complex architecture of what you are, will come apart and you will stop existing and then nothing. So what are you going to do, sit there like an asshole and wallow in sadness? This is your decision, you are in control, you decide that you're sad and you decide that you don't give a shit and you decide to move on. Recognize your errors and start moving on. It doesn't have to be instant, you just have to start.
Look at this asshole, this is you, this is how it ends:
Now get off your ass and go fix something.
Perfect Day
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2025
This shit makes me so fucking mad nigger you have no fucking idea. I even had to correct the typo in the quote because you wrote vountry instead of country.
People live with cancer, some kids are molested and have to grow up through years of abuse, our species lived through plagues, ice ages, wars and you're here crying about your gamba sesh and your mom. What kind of man would speak like that. Fucking hell, you're starting to sound like Bossman "I'm gonna kill myself guys I swear I'm gonna do it"
Stop feeling sorry for yourself! You don't deserve to be sad because you haven't had anything taken away from you. You just want to feel sorry for yourself because that's easier than doing literally anything at all. Here is my advice: man up! And don't ever say that shit again. Don't even think it. Or else kill yourself like your brother said.
funkybitch
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2025
Didn't mean it in a literal way. But yeah I preffer to he taken from this planet.
Also I'm entering thirties so no im not some "kid"
Lived in apartment with ex, and yes now I live with my mother and I see I'm going to be homeless soon- thats also a reason for no motivation since I'm waiting for this to happen.
Now heres one good thing I havr in mind, and thinking about it, it sure is sus that I might avtually be a narcissist.
I'm like 80% sure that one girl I see daily likes me alot so I'm thinking about getting to know her and use her for housing and hopefully starting life as normal.
Would that be a good move or should I just stay away from people and possibility of fucking up my life even more. Should I just go live in a forest and get eaten by wolfs...man I don't fucking know.
And to add I get everything you people are saying-it feels like I understamd everyone but nobody really understands where I'm coming from (tbh I dont know myself)
Might actually need to get myself to check in into jail or mental hopital to get lobotomy.
Perfect Day
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2025
Dude I know exactly where you're coming from. It's not that hard to figure out. You sound like me when I was 14. This is the worse emo shit I've ever read.
Stay away from that girl until you have shit figured out. She has a daddy too who doesn't want her to be a part of your downfall.
Do you want to be homeless? Do you want to sit on the floor, a literal bum with that pitiful look in your eyes as you beg people for change? Do you want men to cast their eyes upon your shriveled form with disgust, even hatred, figuring out ways in their mind to get rid of you, maybe coming back at 2 in the morning with a can of gasoline and a pack of matches? And maybe a woman to take pity on you and drop whatever change she got from her job in your blackened palm. And a black guy to walk past you, in a suit, bearing a nice watch and thinking, "da white man be fucking stoopid and shit".
"Live in a forest and get eaten by wolVEs" (not "wolfs")??? What fucking forest has "wolfs"? Do you live next to Yellowstone? NO. This is misery porn you're playing in your head.
"get myself to check in into jail or mental hoSpital to get lobotomy" what are you talking about? We stopped performing lobotomy in the 1950's! This doesn't make any sense.
You're reaching THIRTY nigger, do you want to start thinking and feeling like a teenage boy again? It's time to grow up. I tried to give you good advice and everybody here made an effort to reach out to you .
Now, concretely, you have two options. Either you take some of the advice and make some minimal effort to get your shit together or you can stay here, wallowing in misery and do nothing.
Whatever you do, leave this poor girl alone. I'm not saying don't get into a relationship. But the thought of getting into a relationship and use her for housing is DESPICABLE.
Just to be clear I'm not being mean for the sake of being mean or because I'm heartless, but at this point I'm convinced this is what you need to hear. So come on big guy, stop being a pussy and start helping yourself. Nobody here is going to physically raise you and put you back on your feet. And for the records, yes, being homeless is worse than being dead.
funkybitch
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2025
Problem is that the homeless part is unavoidable at this point. So I need some back up plan lined up even if it's not coming from genuine intents.