Loveline - Kiwi Edition - Currently taking calls for advice related to love and health matters.

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Cool kitties club said:
Fox Mulder or Alex Krycek Bf :feels:
s2+ep5+mulder+swimsuit+krycek.PNG
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Fox mulder all the way hes obviously the better fbi man
 
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I like to dump vials of pee on women I find attractive, but I'm worried that this might get them pregnant. What protection should I use?
 
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I know how to type things into 'Search' bars, so I'd be great at giving medical advice. In fact I just did a Goggle search for 'Cure for all diseases' and Goggle has provided me with the ultimate panacea, whorship the machine. I now provide the answer to all your medical woes:
It's cancer-aids, lots and lots of cancer-aids. You should just neck yourself as there is no cure for cancer-aids :cryblood: or just keep spreading your cancer-aids around. Do whatever feels right to you :)
 
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Is this the advice thread or the hookup thread? Because I'm both looking for a harem of trap slaves and methods for acquiring said traps.
nippleonbonerfart said:
I like to dump vials of pee on women I find attractive, but I'm worried that this might get them pregnant. What protection should I use?
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Always wear a tinfoil lined ski-mask to prevent the females from locking on to your alpha brain waves and acquiring your bank account info.
 
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Code: 
/**
 * Please GNU, let me meet her. All I want to is to find that perfect
 * license I know exists. Its’s copyleft and respects my freedom and
 * covers all the software I make, perhaps even this software itself.
 * The license who won’t secretly say you can make this proprietary,
 * the license I can tell people about (even if only possible online)
 * and spent nights talking about and laughing and sharing source code.
 * A license who can reciprocate the love I put in, the license who I
 * can make feel safe and secure unconditionally and can fill this gaping,
 * empty void in my source code. Please, just let me find this license.
 * I’ll change everything about my software if that’s what it takes.
 * Please, I just can’t take the proprietary software anymore.
*/
 
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I was going to say, the only dating advice worth taking from strangers on the internet is: Don't take dating advice from strangers on the internet.

But I guess you're not looking for advice, you're looking for people looking for advice?

Hell, fuck it, let's give you a shot then, with a theoretical scenario that may be somewhat based on a real person. Not based on myself, but I'm going to write it in the first person. Again, this is not based on myself, and I've changed a few inconsequential details to keep it as far from powerlevelling someone I know as much as I can:

I'm a young adult who just started seriously dating. I met a somewhat troubled person who I have a lot in common with. They have some problems though, lying, or at least, extremely exaggerating, as I've caught them several times in the past saying things that just weren't true. Also, several of my family members have said possessions have gone missing, although the person I'm dating insists they did not take anything. I care deeply about this person though, I've never had a connection with someone like this before.

Now this person isn't allowed into my house, because my parents say this person stole from them, and they insist they didn't steal anything. My parents said if they admit to taking it and apologize maybe they'll be able to come to my house, but they won't, because they say they didn't steal it. I initially thought they did, because my parents don't usually accuse people of stealing from them, but I've had multiple conversations, confrontations even, where I told them to just admit it, and that my parents are caring people who will forgive them, but they are consistently saying they didn't steal anything. I don't think my parents are lying, but what if they're wrong? They are sure they're right, and I feel stuck in the middle.

So the situation kind of sucks. I have to keep going over to their place, which isn't very nice, and it's a pain in the ass to get to work from there. I'm spending most of my money to get lyfts to their place, or getting hotel rooms to spend the weekend at.

I don't want to abandon someone I care about because my parents don't like them, but I can tell my parents are hurt that I don't believe them over this person. I just don't know what to do.
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If the ambiguity is too confusing let me know and I'll try to clear it up. I think the parties are identified consistently enough, but I am the one who wrote it.
 
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BigRuler said:
two possibilities:
either your parents are engaging in a conspiracy to frame your gf as a liar and thief for... reasons i guess?
or your gf really is a liar and thief, and you are blind to it because you have fallen for her so hard.

obviously as a stranger on the internet i have no way to find out the truth and know for sure, but consider this:
your parents have no incentive to make up false accusations against your gf. furthermore, your gf is a confirmed serial liar (by your own admission). without further information, it looks like your gf is lying to you and your parents are right about her stealing their shit.
also you would not be "abandoning a person because your parents don't like them", you would be leaving the person for literally committing crimes against your closest family members.
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Hey cool, serious advice.

I see your take on the situation pretty much matches mine, that's good. Now I just have to somehow get the person in the situation to see that...
 
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