Checked it out at it again and phone does look to be a good guess.
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2015
What time is Werns flight to his queefy Cali bae ovulator kween?
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
Let's take a deep breath and appreciate this moment.
Lucas Colby Werner is about to attempt to board a plane to California to be with Mia.
Mia is alleged to be a Native American Gen Z ovulator. Mia spent $109 on Lucas's ticket. Mia has offered him a place to stay.
The thought that Mia may be a catfish must have occurred to Lucas.
Where is Lucas going to spend the night, if not with Mia? If he gets on that plane, the answer to that question is going to be pretty interesting.
Part of the excitement of this moment comes from the context of Lucas's misadventures. I'm sure we're all familiar with the story of how Lucas came to Spokane. It's especially relevant this morning.
Are you concerned that his sexual deviancy hasn't been properly sourced? Accuracy is important.
The Queen's an excellent primary source for this one, and I suspect she may be sitting on a receipt or two. Lucas has discussed anal at some length in his videos, and posted about his fondness for it on FB. He's bragged about going up in Suzanne's butt. I believe there's also some interesting shit on the subject related to his FetLife profiles, if you want to go digging around there.
Not to mention all the fisting stuff.
But no, much as I wish there was a screenshot of Lucas waxing erotic about bleeding bae butts, have yet to encounter one.
Lucas Colby Werner is about to attempt to board a plane to California to be with Mia.
Mia is alleged to be a Native American Gen Z ovulator. Mia spent $109 on Lucas's ticket. Mia has offered him a place to stay.
The thought that Mia may be a catfish must have occurred to Lucas.
Where is Lucas going to spend the night, if not with Mia? If he gets on that plane, the answer to that question is going to be pretty interesting.
Part of the excitement of this moment comes from the context of Lucas's misadventures. I'm sure we're all familiar with the story of how Lucas came to Spokane. It's especially relevant this morning.
Once upon a time, Lucas bought a bus ticket to Couer d'Alene so that he could be with Joy Baker. You may know Joy as @QueenBurritoSupreme. Take a look at this:
Hmmm. That was hard, wasn't it? I've always had the impression that it did not take much for Joy to entice Lucas to spend his tardbux to come to her. Changing his FB status to "in a relationship" immediately after purchasing his ticket was a nice touch. Anyway, Lucas got on the bus and disappeared from FB for a while. When he returned, it was to announce that he was homeless and had MRSA:
You would think that Lucas would have become more careful at this point. But no. Lucas is a lolcow, and that means he doesn't learn. The catfishing continued and became surreal.
Lucas summarizes the results of getting on the bus to Coeur d'Alene:
Lucas has been catfished several times since, notably by the despicable Corina and aidsy Shao.
Hmmm. That was hard, wasn't it? I've always had the impression that it did not take much for Joy to entice Lucas to spend his tardbux to come to her. Changing his FB status to "in a relationship" immediately after purchasing his ticket was a nice touch. Anyway, Lucas got on the bus and disappeared from FB for a while. When he returned, it was to announce that he was homeless and had MRSA:
You would think that Lucas would have become more careful at this point. But no. Lucas is a lolcow, and that means he doesn't learn. The catfishing continued and became surreal.
Lucas summarizes the results of getting on the bus to Coeur d'Alene:
Lucas has been catfished several times since, notably by the despicable Corina and aidsy Shao.
I've never seen one.
Are you concerned that his sexual deviancy hasn't been properly sourced? Accuracy is important.
The Queen's an excellent primary source for this one, and I suspect she may be sitting on a receipt or two. Lucas has discussed anal at some length in his videos, and posted about his fondness for it on FB. He's bragged about going up in Suzanne's butt. I believe there's also some interesting shit on the subject related to his FetLife profiles, if you want to go digging around there.
Not to mention all the fisting stuff.
But no, much as I wish there was a screenshot of Lucas waxing erotic about bleeding bae butts, have yet to encounter one.
DeletedSoul
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2018
I know this is super incredibly late, but I have been very busy at work and only minimally around, even on Facebook.
To answer the question, SOFALAW is still around and very much active. For a while Facebook's group settings meant that even a closed group (where the group is searchable but people can only join when approved) would still show posts by members and/or the member list. Since Facebook doesn't offer the same anonymity as a separate website, I made the group secret at the request of members who didn't want to be publicly associated with Lucas in any way.
I've brought up the idea of opening SOFALAW back up to make it easier for people to join since, but members have shot it down each time due to the same kinds of privacy concerns.
Also I think the group being secret has helped keep it from being Zucced to this point.
I mean, I get that the evidence is thin, but I hope you can agree that it's reasonable to suspect you'd do this, given your incessant poop touching thus far.
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2019
My theory is that he hasn't bragged about Mia because he thinks sofalaw or the orchards would contact her and scare her away.
After all, we're just a bunch of cock-blockers and haters, surely that's the only reason he's not drowning in teen-fuck-mommy pussy.
After all, we're just a bunch of cock-blockers and haters, surely that's the only reason he's not drowning in teen-fuck-mommy pussy.
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2017
He's been chimping out about GenZ greed lately, so it is possible he is wise to the catfish. Even so, I hope his sense of adventure gets the better of him. And I hope the flight attendents he will deal with today contact me and I will pay their liquor tab after it is done!
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2019
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
Can you imagine what will happen if the agent checking him in asks about his infant child "it's not in the cards". Reeee! Moooo!
Airport police may be called for the hobo melt down. Maybe this will be after he checks his hobo sack.
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2017
Imagine being the entry-level first officer or flight attendant, sitting on short-call reserve, thinking you are going to time out and go home, only to be called in for this guy's trip.
I created this account after lurking for a long time simply to question, has no one yet pointed out that Lucas is almost literally an embodiment of Ignatius Reilly from A Confederacy of Dunces? Like, the similarities are so uncanny it makes me question if this is a performance art piece 
neutral grandpa
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2020
what time is the flight again? I doubt hes going but just want to check
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
They are very much alike. They are both exceptional and think they are brilliant. They're both fat asses. And if Lucas ever ran a hotdog stand he would just eat all the hotdogs! Wow! I haven't thought of that book in while, but Lucas is very similar to him. Great observation!I created this account after lurking for a long time simply to question, has no one yet pointed out that Lucas is almost literally an embodiment of Ignatius Reilly from A Confederacy of Dunces? Like, the similarities are so uncanny it makes me question if this is a performance art piece
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2017
First leg is United Express 5606 from Spokane to San Francisco, leaving at 3:07 PST. He has 90 minutes to get lost/distracted in SanFran before the flight to John Wayne, United 406, leaving at 6:57 PST.
UA5606 (UAL5606) United Flight Tracking and History 21/12/2020 (KGEG-KSFO) - FlightAware
Track United (UA) #5606 flight from Spokane Intl to San Francisco Intl
UA406 (UAL406) United Flight Tracking and History 21/12/2020 (KSFO-KSNA) - FlightAware
Track United (UA) #406 flight from San Francisco Intl to John Wayne
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
That would be funny if he missed his connecting flight and decided to become a San Francisco bum. Another city well known for it's large hobo population.First leg is United Express 5606 from Spokane to San Francisco, leaving at 3:07 PST. He has 90 minutes to get lost/distracted in SanFran before the flight to John Wayne, United 406, leaving at 6:57 PST.
UA5606 (UAL5606) United Flight Tracking and History 21/12/2020 (KGEG-KSFO) - FlightAware
Track United (UA) #5606 flight from Spokane Intl to San Francisco Intlflightaware.com
UA406 (UAL406) United Flight Tracking and History 21/12/2020 (KSFO-KSNA) - FlightAware
Track United (UA) #406 flight from San Francisco Intl to John Wayne
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2017
I was so caught up in the euphoria of SoCal Hobo saga, that I forgot I lived in a world were Street-shitter Wern Saga was a possibility.
Yes, and he’s obsessed with everyone else being a slut/immoral as a paper thin cover for his desperate need to be fucked. He has a weird obsession with fake medieval history. Myrna/Lana as the various gen-z thots he’s in love with but hates at the same time. So many parallels.
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2019
Moving to India or SE Asia with the most common street shitters may be the only way Lucas could get pussy.
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2014
How many people here follow the antics of Chris Chan fanatic/ween Jacob Sockness? He’s an insane tard living in SF in government housing and if by some stroke of luck Lucas ends up stranded in SF let’s hope they cross paths as Jacob frequently orbits people with kiwi farms threads.
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2017
My Fedsmoker/Wern crossover never came to pass, so I will have to settle for this.
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
God damn, this is like watching a horror movie where a hapless character doesn't know the slasher is hiding under the stairs, and casually goes about their business.
Surely Lucas must feel some tension as he approaches the plane. The fear that maybe, just maybe, Mia won't be waiting for him at the airport with open arms? The worry that he may find himself in a strange, indifferent city?
Surely Lucas must feel some tension as he approaches the plane. The fear that maybe, just maybe, Mia won't be waiting for him at the airport with open arms? The worry that he may find himself in a strange, indifferent city?
Sockness is boring when he's not trying to get up in CWC's butt.