Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Long time lurker here. Fascinated by the antics of, and the sheer retardation of our favorite Spokane creep.

No fucking way is he going to successfully make this fight. I highly doubt he even has the resources to arrange transportation to the airport. Even if he can manage to get his fat ass and rancid luggage there, getting through check in and security seems beyond his abilities. And a good thing that is.

Imagine being his fucking seat mate? Aside from the pungent odors of stale piss, mold, rancid sweat, and feces, he has a penchant for public farting, belching, and other varied odious bodily functions. Being trapped in an enclosed space with him is a Dante-esque circle of Hell.

Calling it now. The fat faggot doesn't move from Spokane, and never brings up the subject again.
 
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Goldaor said:
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Sofalaw moment! Unfortunately, as I plan to continue Le weekly Wern, I am not into this anymore. But good guess!
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I didn’t bring up the location of the headquarters as a way to blame you, my main point was the sketchy business practices that will make a refund though for the catfish.

I think it’s a reach to assume that since the company’s based in Canada it must be the Canadian guy who was trolling him on his podcast, the fact that Flighthub has been sued by the city of San Francisco , the state of California, and declared bankruptcy in Delaware shows ample evidence that they are a company operating in the US, granted they’re a lesser known company that I hadn’t heard of but when people want to be cheap they’ll go with the cheapest option and pay for it in the end.
 
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He’s all checked in, no idea if he’s done it or someone acting on his behalf!
I’m going out on a limb here and guessing it wasn’t him as he now appears to be travelling with an infant who has a very interesting name...
883A04AB-AA01-4B39-96FD-A487FD1E9583.jpeg
 
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GoutfootHorseface said:
He’s all checked in, no idea if he’s done it or someone acting on his behalf!
I’m going out on a limb here and guessing it wasn’t him as he now appears to be travelling with an infant who has a very interesting name...
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Awww, how sweet. Hopefully they give little It'snotinthecards Werner some crayons, and some plastic pilot wings.
 
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Telomoron said:
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He's shared or talked about this guillotine routine for the greedy multiple times, not greedy in the traditional sense but greed in the context of "hoarding women"

We all know that dating around or just sleeping around doesn't imply ownership of the group of partners you've been with but let's look at this from a Lucas point of view.

He apparently considers this sort of thing something that should be punishable by death. Being promiscuous or having multiple partners, should be punishable by death. That sounds like something a religious extremist would think.

Funny how much he seems to hate the religious but his rhetoric could be considered in line with the most absolute devout of them.
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Lucas is a classic incel: women are all huge sluts if they don’t sleep with him. Sexual promiscuity by incels like him is not defined as “having many sex partners.” Their definition of promiscuity is “having sex partners who are not me.”

This is why they apply the term slut even to women who aren’t seeing anyone at all. If they’re not willing to date the incel, then they could be carmelite nuns and would still fall under the header of “stupid slut.”
 
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GoutfootHorseface said:
He’s all checked in, no idea if he’s done it or someone acting on his behalf!
I’m going out on a limb here and guessing it wasn’t him as he now appears to be travelling with an infant who has a very interesting name...
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Ugh, good job w.e.ens, you can’t just abide by the common sense rules around here and not interfere.

OTOH maybe this will benefit Lucas. If he’s late getting to the airport (and he will be because he’s an idiot), being checked in already means he won’t miss the check-in window and be barred from the flight.

edit- re: marshal above me ^^^

the baby’s name is Itsnotinthecards. Nobody working at the airport is stupid enough to think that’s a real baby, they’ll see it’s a prank. And I can’t imagine being turned away from a flight because you didn’t bring an infant. Plans change all the time, maybe baby stays home with dad at the last second, and the baby has no ticket, so i doubt they would care.
 
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My my my...it’s getting to a point where taking a 3 day sabbatical from Wernology studies puts you wayyyyy behind on the subject. CA?! Mia?! Little Itsnotinthecards was a nice touch.

I have to agree with my fellow Wernologists who have said, even if Fatty did want to go, there is no way he could manage it on his own. Let’s say for poops and giggles Fats got himself to the airport, once inside he’d be overwhelmed. I don’t know if he could make it past the ticket counter without luking out.

I think he’ll be in the transit center through the winter, then come spring, slither back to the woods.
 
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I'm certain that it's a catfish being an asshole, but is there any chance he has family in Southern California that might have flown him there as a way to trick him into getting treatment? He might be more compliant in a place where he doesn't know anyone/the area well enough to run off.

I'm just spitballing. And kind of hoping for the best. I've been following Lucas for a long time and I know he's a giant pile of garbage, but I'm hopeful that someone will, I don't know, lobotomize him or something.
 
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Patchwork Ragdoll said:
Story time.

A sweet voice can be heard through the intercom speaker. 'Paging Dr. Nigæ, Dr. Nigæ we need you in the operating theater.'
Lucas confidentially strides toward the operating theater. This is it Dr. Nigæ will finally be able to show his genius to all his peers. He's nervous as he scrubs his hands, the water going down the drain takes on a yellow brown hugh for a few moments then finally runs clear. A hot zoomer nurse has entered the area to assist Dr. Nigæ with his gloves and mask. She's very attractive, but Dr. Nigæ is a professional and only eye rapes her for a moment before he triumphantly says, "ok, I'm ready to save the human race from telomere attrition."
Dr. Nigæ and Nurse Bae enter the theater. The observation area is packed. Dr. Nigæ's mom & stepdad, king roy, brother Seth, his hot niece, kiki & ella, all the kids from grade school that mocked him and called him faggot. He'll show them all, he'll have the last laugh now, he's a brilliant genetic researcher after all.
Dr. Nigæ's eyes move to the empty operating table in the middle of the theater. "So were is my patient?" He hears someone laughing in the observation area but before he can look to see who a trio of huge male nurses appear. Dr. Nigæ's eyes dart nervously around the room, were is his patient? Another laugh from above catches Dr Retards attention, he doesn't notice the trio is closing in on him until it's too late. A shreik is heard as the first nurse makes contact, it's loud, shrill, and more animal than human. "Get off me faggot, Trump supporter, fuck the thin blue line!!!!" The trio (all ex military) subdued Dr. Retard easily. And through his shreiks and flailing secure him to the operating table.
"You can't do this I'm a brilliant genetic researcher! Reee! Reeee!"
Nurse Bae simply ignores his protests and goes about her business. After the IV has been placed, she leans down and gently touches his shoulder, "it will all be over soon lucas."

*fade to black*

Lucas scampers happily into the TV room. He notices a rerun of the simpsons is on and claps his hands in excitement as nurse Bae steers him toward his favorite seat. Once settled nurse Bae gives lucas a box of raisinets. Delighted with his treat and show lucas sways happily in his chair.
The operation could not have been more successful, lucas is no longer a treat to anyone, he's actually happy for the first time in a long time.
Lucas swaying gleefully in his chair looks toward nurse Bae, he laughs and smiles. Nurse Bae laughs and smiles. The couch cushion laughs and smiles. Lucas claps his hands. So happy.

Sorry, this is what covid isolation has reduced me to. I am ashamed.
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@denysdemontfort

When I saw you talk about Lucas getting treated this jumped to my mind
 
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klickitat said:
What needs clarification, exactly? He said he's not the one catfishing the legendary dumbass.
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Thanks bro. I think the screenshot of the sofalaw post saying the same thing (that he's the catfish) with the caption 'Sofalaw moment!' and the vague syntax of 'not into this' was a little difficult for me understand. So the sped in me saw 'good guess!' possibly being congratulatory
 
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QueenBurritoSupreme said:
This reminded me of a factoid: Lucas is heavily into the BDSM lifestyle and identifies as a sexual sadist who loves anal torture above all. He has apparently been booted from many Facebook groups devoted to the practice but I'm not sure as to why as I never ares to join them so I wasn't privy to the situation.
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Do we have any screenshots as proof of this widely held belief that Lucas is into anal torture? I'm quoting the oldest post in this thread that I could find that references it, by Doctor of Wernology @QueenBurritoSupreme .
 
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