Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

I am thinking part of Lucas saying he wants to work is that he is now basically literally broke from Mallon place taking almost all of his tugboat. But is this really enough motivation for Lucas to actually try to find a job?

I read the rules about working while on a tugboat and they surprised me. I had thought people on SSI could work part time and earn at least a few hundred dollars a month without effecting their monthly check. But apparently that is not the case. Apparently they deduct money from the tugboat based on how much you make. I disagree with that rule and honestly see value in letting people with disabilities try to get in a better place with part time employment and not have their benefits reduced.

Lucas would not like having his tugboat reduced and it almost would not be worth it. But I really just do not see him wanting to work. I still think this is all just talk and no follow through. But we will find out.
 
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Da Dude123 said:
I am thinking part of Lucas saying he wants to work is that he is now basically literally broke from Mallon place taking almost all of his tugboat.
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That's wishful thinking in my opinion. He has a built-in excuse not to work. It was previously because he had no ID card.

Now it's because of the excessive walking (beetus, bc if he walked so much he wouldn't be 400lbs).

It's all a front to earn pity points from gen z ladies who'll give him puss puss because he really wants to participate in capitalism all of a sudden.
 
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klickitat said:
That in and of itself doesn't mean much; the last couple jobs I had that required references made it clear they were supposed to be people not related to me. In one case it was "no family or friends" they wanted professional references from past jobs.

What makes it hilariously sad in Lucas' case is that he's been in Spokane for, what, 5 years now? Something like that, and has exactly zero people he can ask because in five years he's made exactly zero friends.
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Agreed, and I’d honestly side-eye any employer that did accept references from family members or friends, unless the candidate is a 16-year-old applying for their first ever job. When employers ask for references, they’re looking for people who can speak to your professional abilities and what you’re like as a coworker… not your experience as an “insult comic” on YouTube. Even if Lucas does manage to scrape together a few people who will lie on his behalf, I can’t imagine even an understaffed grocery store would be impressed by a man in his 40s who has to use strangers or casual acquaintances as professional references. Yikes.

It’s a good thing that Lucas doesn’t actually want a job because he’s made himself incredibly unemployable. Even if Google weren’t a thing, he’s a terrible candidate on paper and I can’t imagine he’d interview well. What would he even talk about? His brief stint at a community college where he creeped on young girls? His insane telomerase theories? Not that he’s ever going to get an interview, but I’d pay good money to watch that unfold.

Edit: I take that back. Who could turn down this stellar resume?

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Amewsed said:
That's wishful thinking in my opinion. He has a built-in excuse not to work. It was previously because he had no ID card.

Now it's because of the excessive walking (beetus, bc if he walked so much he wouldn't be 400lbs).

It's all a front to earn pity points from gen z ladies who'll give him puss puss because he really wants to participate in capitalism all of a sudden.
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I don't know, I think it's partly because he's broke, and he can't lurk and spy on teenage girls while he loafs on his ass at his daycare.

It's all bullshit anyway, he WON'T get a job, and no one will hire him.

If, by some miracle, he DID get hired, he would quit the first day because work is hard, or he would get fired for creeping on a teen girl or talking about his endless quest for teen puss-puss, and the properties of his magic sperm.
 
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Cheesegirl78 said:
I don't know, I think it's partly because he's broke, and he can't lurk and spy on teenage girls while he loafs on his ass at his daycare.

It's all bullshit anyway, he WON'T get a job, and no one will hire him.

If, by some miracle, he DID get hired, he would quit the first day because work is hard, or he would get fired for creeping on a teen girl or talking about his endless quest for teen puss-puss, and the properties of his magic sperm.
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If he does end up getting a job at a grocery store or something similar, there’s a very real chance he’d end up being supervised by an underpaid zoomer… there’s no possible way that would end well for Lucas.
 
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Zoomer Bae said:
If he does end up getting a job at a grocery store or something similar, there’s a very real chance he’d end up being supervised by an underpaid zoomer… there’s no possible way that would end well for Lucas.
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I can just imagine a 22 year old kid being his boss and telling Lucas to pick up the pace, and Lucas exploding on him, screeching that the kid is an agephobic bigot...
 
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Zoomer Bae said:
Uh oh! If we don’t cashapp Lucas $50, he’s going to drink expire orange juice.

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So is this supposed to be a suicide threat. Give the Freak money or he'll suicide by expired orange juice.
 
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I hope Lucas gets a job. I do. And I hope he finds some self-respect in labor, and some dignity in a bit of earned cash in his pocket. I begrudge no man the opportunity to sweat. I have no confidence in Lucas's prospects.
GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
For all of his promises about going vegan, weightlifting, going to the YMCA, etc, Lucas has never voluntarily exercised since we've been aware of him. I would guess he has arm muscles like a 6 year old girl... no hyperbole. Fat middle-aged people who've become accustomed to not exercising can have shockingly low lean muscle mass. The contortions of Lucas's body that we've seen when angry, like when he thrusts his head forward during his "spit at his phone" moment, or when he was shadowboxing up against Daniel in the famous tard out video... there's just something extremely weak about the moments when he rages. It's kind of hard to explain; despite his tremendous bulk and decent height, there's something very feminine and faggy about the way Lucas moves his body. He just gives off the impression of a lack of confidence, even when he's trying to swagger. Part of it is the nervous way his eyes are constantly shifting from side to side, but part of it is uniquely physiological, in the way he carries himself. I dunno. I'm having trouble articulating it.
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I've noticed it, too, and also struggled to articulate it. It's something we instantly recognize and understand, but have difficulty naming or explaining: the obvious tells of fat faggotry.

We know that Lucas is unfamiliar with exercise, almost wholly innocent of athletics, a stranger to physical labor. His flabby body, awkwardly teetering on two numbed and rotting stumps, cannot produce much force despite its size. A walk quickly winds him. He lacks confidence, justifiably so. He is submissive in spirit, quick to quit and show his belly. I am willing to bet my nards that he has never been in a proper fight, let alone been victorious.

His balls didn't drop, he didn't complete his rite of passage. He's trapped in a developmental purgatory, on the threshold of adolescence and manhood. Nobody will care for him as a baby, and he can't care for himself as an adult.

When Lucas moves around, you are looking at a timid, out of shape pussy who has spent his entire life in indolent sloth, and never been tested. Weakness, physical and emotional, personified.
 
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wenttobermuda said:
Poor Lucas. Somebody should tell him that the Euphoric Atheist Wars are over. Hitchens is dead, Dawkins is discredited, and Maher is busy talking about troons. Everyone has moved on, and found new triviliaties to fight over. Everyone but Lucas, it seems. Seeing the staggering number of "memes" he just produced is like watching a senile old man go on patrol for Viet Cong.

I cannot fathom Lucas's intended audience. Who is he making these statements to? Who does he hope to impress, or insult? Plainly, he wants to be aggressive to theists, Christians specifically. But I wonder if there's a special someone he has in mind? Memes for Myrna? Anyway, my favorite bit from this recent output:

This is one of the more telling statements Lucas has made on the subject of religion, and why he "believes" anything at all. For all the euphoric rhetoric he's absorbed, like an adult diaper soaking up piss, Lucas simply doesn't believe in God because he doesn't like theists. His objections are wholly personal: they won't help him have sex.

I am of the school of Wernology that holds Lucas has no beliefs, opinions, ideals, morals, or principles, only desires. Lucas's "beliefs" are transactional, and reactionary, shaped by his ability to get what he wants. Lucas has stated, many times, that he does not believe in God because he doesn't get to bang teens. Whenever he gets high-minded, and starts repeating talking points about the "scientific method," "evidence" and "reason," bear in mind what he's talking about: teen puss puss on his pee pee.

I'm curious about Lucas's ability to adapt his "beliefs" to what is socially convenient and desireable. If theists weren't assholes, would Lucas be inclined to "believe in their faith"? I wonder how far he would go. If a flat-earther were to treat Lucas the way he feels he should be treated, would Lucas conclude the Earth is flat?
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He's a man-baby. He expects women to "come to him".
His dating strategy reminds me of a personal lolcow I know. He posts "Where can singles meet in town" every other week but refuses to leave his subsidized apartment to do anything.
Is it entitlement or insanity?
 
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I can't believe I'm saying this, and is probably a loggy, but for fuck sakes pucas, either kill yourself or shut the fuck up. The suicide baiting got old a long time ago. It's not going to accomplish anything, and all it does, is make people not take people that are actually suicidal serious.
 
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Zoomer Bae said:
It’s a good thing that Lucas doesn’t actually want a job because he’s made himself incredibly unemployable. Even if Google weren’t a thing, he’s a terrible candidate on paper and I can’t imagine he’d interview well. What would he even talk about? His brief stint at a community college where he creeped on young girls? His insane telomerase theories? Not that he’s ever going to get an interview, but I’d pay good money to watch that unfold.

Edit: I take that back. Who could turn down this stellar resume?

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Can’t believe insult comic didn’t make his job experience category!

He’s also missing his few days at McDonald’s and that he is a MRSA-nary.
 
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Maxxicus Callahan said:
It’s called vetting Lucas and it’s bound to come up in conversation when dating not that you have any of these conversations. And someone who is independent usually doesn’t want a dependent unless it is their child or someone in their family to take care of. Lying around shirtless on his phone in fantasy land as usual I guess his castes on his feet are giving us a lot of this content.

Edit: also not that you need to have a job necessarily but it does provide structure, identity, socialization and a source of income to most people. If you don’t have a job there are a million other useful and productive things you could be doing besides whatever it is that Lucas has been doing practically everyday of his entire life.
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I called it, I knew he was going to make the offer that a woman pays for a date since he has no money now.
 
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