Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[mothman96]

Wait, I was wrong. That's mustard on the candy bar.

 

[WonderWino]

Wait, I was wrong. That's mustard on the candy bar.

View attachment 2766560

.....He somehow made it even more horrifying. His tastebuds have to be completely fucked to think its a normal thing to do to put fucking mustard on a candy bar, let alone to think its actually edible that way. This definitely ties into him putting the pepper on caviar and drinking peanut sauce. No way it doesn't have something to do with his mental problems

 

[Duke Nukem]

No see men don't have to refrain from meat and sweets, they just have to live on that diet until age 35.
Much like they are also obliged to remain virgins until age 35.


Lucas: "Woah I wont talk to girls if they aren't taking COVID seriously!"
Also Lucas: *uses dirty facemask as oven mitt*

I bet he spends an extra ten bucks an order to have it hand delivered. Which I could understand if he actually didn't insist on walking around when he isn't supposed to. Also why remain a virgin until 35? Is that what Lucas did?

Cheese Whiz on a candy bar. A sure way to increase telomerase.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CW9VV98Fspb/

View attachment 2766455

Does Cheez Whiz qualify as "food?" Because that's just awful.

Oh that's mustard? On a candy bar?

Wait, what???

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

I bet he spends an extra ten bucks an order to have it hand delivered. Which I could understand if he actually didn't insist on walking around when he isn't supposed to. Also why remain a virgin until 35? Is that what Lucas did?
Does Cheez Whiz qualify as "food?" Because that's just awful.

Oh that's mustard? On a candy bar?

Wait, what???

Oh yeah someone bought him mustard also having that song playing in the background isn’t creepy at all when the line is, “makes no sense the things you do or say girl. Don’t mess with me emotionally or I’ll make you bleed internally.” I bet Lucas is into those lyrics

Edit: here’s a juicy comment from the Wern, conservacoust

He really thinks AOC will be progressive Hitler. Those who aren’t sent to the ovens will be set adrift at sea with no dice for their board games.

 

[Zoomer Bae]

Wait, I was wrong. That's mustard on the candy bar.

View attachment 2766560

Jesus Christ, his taste buds might actually be more broken than his brain.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Jesus Christ, his taste buds might actually be more broken than his brain.

I guarantee if you emptied a can of Alpo into a bowl and told lucas it was "Car-toosh-ary" (charcuterie fed thru Wern reformatting) pate, he'd eat it. I don't even think this is a stretch at this point. He'd eat hot garbage if you slathered it with enough Sriracha mayo.

Seriously though, can we agree that his eating habits, especially food combinations, indicate that something is wrong with his brain, specifically in regard to food? Is this a known tendency of bipolars, to mix together disgusting foods and say they taste good?

I've literally never seen this before. I've seen some fat kids with tourette's, who like to eat enormous quantities of food, to the point where they almost choke, and become morbidly obese at a very young age, but I've never seen anyone trying to defend mustard on a candy bar. Or Reese's peanut butter cups floating in a pepsi, as a Shirley Temple.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Cheese Whiz on a candy bar. A sure way to increase telomerase.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CW9VV98Fspb/

View attachment 2766455

I'm surprised he doesn't put pepper and hot sauce in his pepsi, I mean he drinks peanut sauce out of the bottle so its not exactly an unlikely scenario

Since we were experiencing autistic game idea Lucas, imagine a card game where you play hands to create disgusting Wern dishes and "toasterbortions"; trying to score the most points by making the most insane food combos before the beetus clock runs out and the game ends.

I call it "Tastes of the Telomere King".

 

[Svetlana Helsinki]

View attachment 2766967

Oh yeah someone bought him mustard also having that song playing in the background isn’t creepy at all when the line is, “makes no sense the things you do or say girl. Don’t mess with me emotionally or I’ll make you bleed internally.” I bet Lucas is into those lyrics

LMAO Lucas, it’s pretty common knowledge that most of those protein bars usually have about the same amount of sugar in them as a candy bar. Adding mustard just added sodium to your already bloated feet. Congratulations.

 

[Jeep1971]

Oh good, we're back to idiotic and nonsensical food combinations. When I was talking to him he told me there should only be one brand of soda, because he can't taste a difference between Pepsi and Coke. I'm guessing his taste buds are just broken, like the rest of him.

He left out RC Cola.

 

[mothman96]

The Mallon Place Creeper and a Jaime came up with a new board game- "The Most Dangerous Game". Developed the rules as they went along.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CW9vDqllD8A/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CW9zDVyFjXU/

ETA:

 

[ThomasAudley]

I must be getting retarded cause his vid explaining this game and showing it in action actually looks like it has potential.

 

[Pump Meat]

I guarantee if you emptied a can of Alpo into a bowl and told lucas it was "Car-toosh-ary" (charcuterie fed thru Wern reformatting) pate, he'd eat it. I don't even think this is a stretch at this point. He'd eat hot garbage if you slathered it with enough Sriracha mayo.

Seriously though, can we agree that his eating habits, especially food combinations, indicate that something is wrong with his brain, specifically in regard to food? Is this a known tendency of bipolars, to mix together disgusting foods and say they taste good?

I've literally never seen this before. I've seen some fat kids with tourette's, who like to eat enormous quantities of food, to the point where they almost choke, and become morbidly obese at a very young age, but I've never seen anyone trying to defend mustard on a candy bar. Or Reese's peanut butter cups floating in a pepsi, as a Shirley Temple.

Dysgeusia has a wide variety of causes; he is probably taking medication for hypertension and some of those can cause it, unchecked diabetes can as well, if he is still taking that seroquel, anything that binds to H1 receptors can cause it too. I've seen some evidence that it can also occur in mood disorders too, but I seem to recall it wasn't that great. Could even be past dental work.

 

[TurdFondler]

I must be getting retarded cause his vid explaining this game and showing it in action actually looks like it has potential.

The rules are short and sweet, no word salad or convoluted mechanics. Bet you Jamie did the thinking.

Also, is this possibly the first time he's played with another human??

 

[Wernology]

The rules are short and sweet, no word salad or convoluted mechanics. Bet you Jamie did the thinking.

Also, is this possibly the first time he's played with another human??

I wonder if he knows it was probably some far too nice person that was just pitying the guy with no friends.

While I slowly collect the latest rounds of boring board game Lucas, I went into parts of his old websites again.

 

[mothman96]

The board for the game:

 

[TurdFondler]

The only part I can't figure out is the moving in curves vs not shooting in curves
So, if I've got a man at A, I can move him in a curve (actually a series of diagonals but whatever). I can't shoot in a curve. I can however shoot in a straight line for the same effect.

Is there terrain to block bullets or what? Or is this just some Big Brain shit?

 

[mothman96]

The only part I can't figure out is the moving in curves vs not shooting in curvesView attachment 2767962
So, if I've got a man at A, I can move him in a curve (actually a series of diagonals but whatever). I can't shoot in a curve. I can however shoot in a straight line for the same effect.

Is there terrain to block bullets or what? Or is this just some Big Brain shit?

He'll be posting the rules:

 

[Trayvon Fartin]

The only part I can't figure out is the moving in curves vs not shooting in curvesView attachment 2767962
So, if I've got a man at A, I can move him in a curve (actually a series of diagonals but whatever). I can't shoot in a curve. I can however shoot in a straight line for the same effect.

Is there terrain to block bullets or what? Or is this just some Big Brain shit?

Nigga who cares, the only way to win is not play.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Dysgeusia has a wide variety of causes; he is probably taking medication for hypertension and some of those can cause it, unchecked diabetes can as well, if he is still taking that seroquel, anything that binds to H1 receptors can cause it too. I've seen some evidence that it can also occur in mood disorders too, but I seem to recall it wasn't that great. Could even be past dental work.

This sounds more like the infamous post-covid loss of taste / smell. To my knowledge, Lucas has never complained that foods don't taste as they should, he just likes mixing together foods that objectively DON'T go together. And its certainly not the result of a dental procedure: his last dentist visit had to be with or before Suzanne, and evidence suggests Lucas has ALWAYS been this way about food. I would even bet that his ego about his own cooking stems from his parents thinking it was cute that lil' Lucas liked to mix together disparate ingredients, and told him he was a little chef. He's so proud of his culinary creations; he MUST gave gotten reinforcement about them at some point.

I appreciate the medical insight, (never heard of dysgeusia) but I dont think its quite the same thing. This is a bigger problem than dysgeusia. Something's wrong with his brain in the area of food pairing. Popcorn on pasta? Thats more of a textural abortion, but ok. Raw green beans and pepperoni in an uncooked tortilla? Mustard on a protein bar?

Its not as though lucas is simply using what he has on hand, and because of a lack of ingredients, is forced to try strange combinations. Rather, he has actually gone out and bought these bizarre incongruous ingredients for the express purpose of crafting these nauseating "dishes".

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Edit: here’s a juicy comment from the Wern, conservacoust

He really thinks AOC will be progressive Hitler. Those who aren’t sent to the ovens will be set adrift at sea with no dice for their board games.
View attachment 2766982

The Merge is real because Werner is merging with MovieBob!

I must be getting retarded cause his vid explaining this game and showing it in action actually looks like it has potential.

Because its basically a dumbed down version of other games.
In fact its a really simplistic version of other tabletop wargames, some of the less complex ones which use hexagon-style board. Off the top of my head HeroScape comes to mind.

However, instead fighting entire squads or even armies, some units with different abilities; you play 2 Meeples.

I wonder if he knows it was probably some far too nice person that was just pitying the guy with no friends.

Or its some other patient at Mallon Place just mentally impaired enough to believe the Freak's lies about how he has millionaire parents and will become the world's biggest board game designer.